A Punk's Life
by Adoredra Fal'naelra
Summary: Centuries old, the Hidden Village system has perfected the method of creating high quality Shinobi in high numbers. After almost doing the impossible by failing elementary school, Naruto decides to change his life for the better. Meanwhile, enemies approach from the shadows seeking to undo the Shinobi system and overthrow the Daimyos. [AU]
1. Prologue

Summary: A different take on 'High School' Fanfictions. The Naruto Universe where the Shinobi system is centuries old and the Academy has an elementary, middle and high school to properly train their Shinobi. This is a coming-of-age story of an orphan named Naruto caught in a system with an honorary clan name he could never hope to live up to.

AN: When I first started reading fanfiction, I had a completely different idea in my head when I read 'High School AU' in the summary box. I wasn't expecting people transporting Canon to modern times with a high school, but making everyone in the Canon older and more 'appropriate' than Japanese manga/anime have a tendency to depict. This will be a story where children don't perform miracles, and everyone is nerfed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

PROLOGUE

* * *

Mizuki waited patiently for his charge in the clearing an hour before sunlight as scheduled by the honorable Hokage Sarutobi-sama. Rapidly tapping his foot against the mildew-fused grass and arms crossed across his standards chunin jacket-covered chest, he stared at the entrance of the copse. Attention shifting to his wristwatch, he noticed that it was in fact thirty minutes before dawn.

Here he was, waiting for some punk to show up for remedial training, and to think that he thought he hit rock bottom when everyone assumed he was a traitor for returning from that thrice-damned mission as the only surviving member. First was the whispers that there was no way the weakest link in the team managed to return followed by the rumors that he fled like a coward. Then there was the idea that in his jealousy he sabotaged the team to get back against the clan member on the team.

What made it all the worst was that no one even asked him about the mission or his side of the story except for the honorable Hokage Sarutobi-sama. Instead, everyone decided to write him off. All of his so-called friends, classmates, ex-teammates and co-workers couldn't be seen with him with the exception of his long-time friend Iruka Umino. To top it all off, his career came to a grinding standstill.

Yes, he wasn't the greatest and sharpest kunai in the Hokage's arsenal, but he wanted to be an elite member of Konoha, a Jonin. Before the disastrous mission, he believed that with persistent hard work that he would eventually become strong enough in body, mind and spirit to join the Jonin corps. What a joke.

Where was he now? A teacher's assistant! At the middle school! Training an elementary school drop-out! That's not even possible!

Mizuki released the boiling point pressure in his body in a giant sigh and looked up as the peaks of the sun's rays crossed the horizon. They were right. A civilian should always sacrifice his life in the place of a clansmen if only to not suffer the indignity of living like this even if he was a giant pompous twat who's breeches were five sizes too big. Was there a group of 'I survived a mission but a clansmen didn't' group he could join or something?

Well, at least he wasn't an orphan, he shivered imagining what would happen if he survived and was an orphan. All of Konoha's numerous clans would lose their collective minds if a clansmen died, and an orphan managed to walk away regardless of how many limbs were attached.

Even Iruka-kun would be hard pressed to be his gentle soul, well maybe not, but the Umino clan were always the nicest group of clansmen in Konoha. Then again, Iruka-kun was an orphan as his parents died in the Kyubi attack, but he had his clan to rely on during his upbringing so that isn't really the same thing.

If only the Kyubi managed to kill the brat that he was supposed to be training, then the Kyubi might have actually done some good in the world before the honorable Hokage Namikazi-sama sent the beast off at the sacrifice of his own life.

Speaking of which, look who decided to show up.

Wearing a worn orange hoodie with one string significantly longer than the other with multi-colored paint splotches with faded blue jeans and gray velcro sneakers, the boy truly dressed like an orphan. Furthermore, the eleven year old had the body of a nine year old if his memory of pediatrician medical charts were correct a weight and height of fifty pounds and forty-eight inches, respectively. Then, he noticed the hair.

"What the fuck happened to your hair?" Mizuki couldn't help himself asking. The boy's hair used to just be a mat of spiky blonde that hanged haphazardly depending on how the boy slept. The punk shaved a third of it off on one-side. Did he *braid* the part of the hair that bordered his shaven scalp?

"What's it look like to you?" the boy huffed petulantly. Gods help him, Mizuki was going to strangle this kid and burn the body and spread the ashes to the win. Wait. Mizuki stepped closer and shifted his attention to the smells of the clearing. While the boy usually reeked of body odor, bad breath, unclean clothes and other unmentionables, the faint scent of - Mizuki sniffed the air again - *alcohol* came from the boy's lips.

Holy shit, Mizuki thought to himself, he was in charge of an eleven year old who fucking drinks. What the shit. He so should have died in that mission or at least committed seppuku afterwards.

Oh wait! Silly Mizuki, he forgot who he was dealing with, so he chuckled softly to himself and brought his fingers together in the ram sign and said, "Kai," while he flooded extra chakra throughout his system to displace the genjutsu he was under. When Mizuki opened his eyes, not realizing he closed them in the first place, all he saw was the same boy giving him a weird look.

"You gone crazy in the head or something?" the boy questioned in his alcohol-induced hoarse voice.

Oh right! The blonde couldn't do a genjutsu to save his life, literally in the case of their Shinobi profession. Mizuki had to give it to the boy though; this prank was top notch. Perfect henge, imaginative with the hair style to say the least and even added some booze to the breath to seal the deal. Honestly, top notch.

There was hope for the boy after all. Mizuki released the tension in his body. Man, he didn't realize he was *that* tense.

Mizuki shook his head back and forth in mirth and laughed out into the silent clearing, "I'll admit it Naruto-kun. You got me good with this prank, but you can drop the henge now. You're already 45 minutes late, and we still have a lot of work left to do before you start your new term at the middle school. It's been a month, and we only have two left, so we have to make it count."

"'Da fuck you talking about? My sensei has seriously gone crazy," Naruto said out loud but mostly to himself.

Mizuki shook his head, but this time in disapproval and walked towards the boy. He got used to the curse words after a few days but still reprimanded the punk. There was just so much to work on to get the boy to even a basic foundation that should have been achieved three years ago that Mizuki couldn't afford to get bogged down in all of the little stuff like a few cusses to lose track of the bigger picture. He was better than that.

Reaching out to grab the boy's arm, the blonde backed away with distrustful eyes but not fast enough before Mizuki extended himself and squeezed hard while giving the boy a good shake-down.

Mizuki frowned. He shook harder. The frown deepened. He shook with both hands. The frown tightened. He pushed. The frown snarled.


	2. Tough Love

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER ONE: THE SENSEI THAT DREAMED

TOUGH LOVE

* * *

What did Mizuki ever do in his life or other-life to deserve this fate? First his teammates abandoned him on the mission to go die like fools, then when he returned the village turned their backs on him for not being a fool, and then the Gods abandoned him when he was given Naruto as a charge.

Snarling down at the punk sitting on his ass, "What the FUCK is wrong with you? Did the orphan matrons drop you on your head as a babe? No that can't be that. They must have shoved you in a pillowcase and banged you against a wall all day and night! You fucking idiot!"

If this was a test of patience by the village, the Hokage or the Gods themselves, then Mizuki failed. And if Mizuki was going to fail, then he was going to fail in colors because he wasn't holding back from this punk.

"FAILURE! That is what you are. One giant failure wrapped into a small package. You bring shame and dishonor to everyone that you have ever meet! Everyone at the orphanage, every teacher in the elementary school YOU failed at and thank the Gods you don't have any friends because you would have stained them with your filth."

The time for patience and calm understanding as a teaching method has long sense passed. There was a line, and as far as Mizuki was concerned, it was passed the moment Naruto stumbled here late and slightly inebriated, and there was no coming back.

"You don't do what your told. In fact, you go out of your way to make everyone's lives miserable for your own selfish satisfaction because you're a spineless wretch. You don't even have the courage to take responsibility for your actions. When you finally decide to do something, you go out and do shit like this like the little attention whore that you are."

Mizuki continued to glare down at the punk staring him right in the eyes seeing the clear signs of disbelief. Ha! Serves the little shit right. If he did half, nay a tenth, of the nonsense that this blonde rat got into, then he wouldn't even be able to sit down for the rest of his life from his mom and dad painting his ass black and blue with a belt. That got Mizuki to thinking - wait. Is he seriously about to start talking back to him?

"Hey! Ya-ya-ya, yeah! Ya can't talk to me like that ya-" Naruto began to stutter out in indignation before regaining his confidence.

"SHUT UP! You are going to sit there on your ass and listen to what I have to say. And for once in your pathetic life, you are actually going to listen to what your betters have to say," Mizuki yelled back promptly and bent over the boy's fallen form with his fists on his side. "You spend your miserable life bouncing from caretaker to caretaker like a hot potato that nobody wants before the honorable Hokage-sama has to emancipate you as an adult at an age that hasn't been seen since the first Great War. Then the honorable Hokage-sama allowed you entrance to the Shinobi Academy System despite everyone saying that would all be a giant waste of time. In case you haven't caught on because you might be, no, you are that stupid, no one has time for you sorry ass, especially the leader of all of Konoha - the greatest Village in the whole world."

He knew he was about to release information that he shouldn't even be thinking much less saying out loud, but dammit this child needed to know the consequences for his actions.

"Instead of making the Hokage proud of you and proving everyone else wrong, you continue to dishonor the great Hokage-sama and bring shame to him. Every time the Hokage now makes a decision, everyone says, 'Are you sure honorable Hokage-sama? We wouldn't another Naruto'. Do you even have the slightest idea what that means! That means you make it that much harder for any orphan who decides that hey, they want to make their lot in life better by joining the Shinobi corps of Konoha. So instead of being a Shinobi like you have the potential to be but waste every breath you take they have to live the rest of their lives doing something they don't want to do! Because of you!"

Naruto looked to be on the verge of tears with an ugly glare, but if he thought that Mizuki was laying it on thick now, then he had another thing coming to him.

Mizuki clapped loudly in front of Naruto's face startling him, "So let's review what you managed to do in the short eleven years of your life. One, literally tried the patience of saints and got kicked out of the orphanage forcing you into two, the foster care program for kids who don't get adopted and didn't deserve it unlike you. Then you shock everyone by three, running through every foster care family ruining their lives in the process of your self-destructive behavior leading to four, becoming a ward of the Village and living off of the Shinobi Academy that has to divert resources from children who would give up an arm and a leg to learn more for your ungrateful ass. All the while bringing shame to the honorable Hokage-sama and the whole village of Konoha damning us all with your continued presence. Congratulations on your unprecedented success at failing!"

Then the blonde had the nerve to bare his teeth before snapping his jaws at him like a threatening dog on a leash and screaming in Mizuki's face, "Ha! Ya act like your the first fuckin' asshole I've had to deal with. I don't need ya! I don't need anyone of y'all assholes! I'll make it on my own without any of y'all's help and prove y'all wrong, and then ya will all see how wrong you fucking idiots all are!"

As Naruto started to use his mangy hands to stand up, Mizuki sat him back down harshly before yelling in his face twice as loudly, "No! What part of what I just said didn't get through your thick skull? We aren't doing this your way anymore. Let me be perfectly clear, so even you can understand. Your time is fucking over! We are doing things my way because I'm in charge of you. Do you understand that? I. Am. In. Charge. And guess what, we are starting now. So get off your sorry ass and starting running laps until you puke your sorry gut out and then run some more!"

Mizuki grabbed the blonde harshly by his thin arm and jerked him back on his feet. When the boy didn't start running, Mizuki grabbed the boy by the shoulders and yelled in his ear, "Run!" before pushing him away harshly.

In response to the boy's stutter stepping forward, Mizuki decided to revolutionize the teacher-student relationship by joining in on the running by riding the punk's ass until the cows came home. Every instructor that Mizuki ever had told him to run, and he did the same for the first month with Naruto. But stupidity had different plans apparently.

'Well,' Mizuki thought, 'hopefully this will beat some sense into him.' He popped his neck to the left and shrugged his shoulders to let out some extra tension, while watching Naruto scamper in front of him. He grinned like a cheshire cat. 'And maybe have some fun out this,' he thought a tad sadistically, but he was a Shinobi so it was okay.

* * *

An hour and a half later Mizuki was smiling at the beautiful sky as the sun slowly climbed to its zenith with a few clouds rolling lazily. Now, Mizuki understood why Iruka-kun liked teaching. It was, therapeutic? 'Yeah,' Mizuki thought, 'therapeutic sounds like the right word.' He managed to release a surprisingly large amount of frustration that he didn't even know that he had, while getting a good sweat in at the same time.

Mizuki casually glanced over to check on his charge out of the kindness of his heart. Naruto was on his hands and knees for the second time in the past three hours puking his guts out into the underbrush surrounding the trees in the clearing. It was important that a sensei kept his student's body clean of all impurities. 'Pure of body, pure of mind kind of thing,' Mizuki pondered.

He debated whether to grill the blonde on his poor eating habits again. As Naruto fully emptied his stomach far too early and started dry heaving, it became abundantly clear for the second time today that the shrimp wasn't eating according to the recommended diet that he himself handed the boy. 'You can lead the horse to water, but you can't make it drink,' Mizuki quoted sophisticatedly to sound of Naruto's retching.

With a shrug, Mizuki decided it was best to tell him again, "How hard could it possibly be to eat properly Naruto-kun? I tell you what to eat, when to eat it, yet here you are without any proof of following my very clear, very precise instructions."

The blonde turned his disaster of a hairstyle to the side to glare with one of his eyes before dry heaving, "Shut. The." Naruto heaved once more, "Fuck. Up."

While the boy started to heave empty air, Mizuki took his left ninja sandal-clad foot and applied liberally to Naruto's upper back shoving his face in the puke-laden bushes. "Tsk. Tsk. I don't think we are learning our lessons today, Naruto, but that is okay I've rekindled by sense of patience. In fact, I've cancelled all my plans for today, so that I could spend it with a favorite student, Naruto-kun. How lucky can you be today?

"Now that you are in a proper position for someone of your stature, why don't we discuss why you reeked of alcohol this morning when you showed up forty five minutes late?"

When the punk didn't answer in the proper time, Mizuki changed his personal definition of liberally and rubbed the blonde's face into the bushes all the way to the ground.

"Stop!" Naruto cried out in desperation as his hands clawed at the grass.

"You misunderstand your role here Naruto-kun," Mizuki smiled. "I give the orders. I. Am. In. Charge."

"I stole it from the old man across the hall!" Naruto yelled in a rush. When Mizuki only lifted his foot up partially, Naruto continued, "I saw him drinking it every day and thought it must be good, so I- I- I decided to, ya know, reward myself, for ya know, my new hair cut."

Mizuki blinked twice at that statement ignoring the whispered 'ya know' at the end because in fact did not 'know'. Well, with a story this good, he had to know more, and if it was good enough, then he might just share it with Iruka-kun at the bar later tonight. "Tell me. How was the old man's booze you stole, thief?"

Naruto looked wildly to the side a few times before sighing dejectedly. "It was fucking terrible. I mean terrible!" Naruto rushed out quickly. 'See,' Mizuki thought, 'Even a Naruto can learn when you pick up the pace every time the urchin decided to speak his mind.'

"But I thought, ya know, acquired taste and all, and I saw some big kids drinking the stuff a few times, ya know, so I decided to, ya know, keep to the bottle and eventually, ya know, it started to not burn as much and feel kinda good, ya know," Naruto continued.

"Actually, yes, I could understand that, but did it ever cross your mind that there was a reason why everyone who drinks is older than you - by a large margin too, I might add," Mizuki explained like the good teacher he was.

"Just wanna try it out for myself, ya know," Naruto mumbled.

"No mumbling! Talk like a man or keep your trap shut," Mizuki corrected immediately. Screw the big picture, Mizuki was taking this remedial two months one step at a time. He grabbed Naruto by the back of his oversized faded orange hoodie and heisted him up before giving a helpful push to start running again.

Well, it wasn't technically running as Mizuki was walking at a steady pace behind, while Naruto desperately tried to put one foot in front of the other. Furthermore, Naruto had to keep yanking his blue jeans up that were too big for him. The blonde even asked with a nice little please on top for a belt, but then the boy wouldn't be learning his lesson to dress properly, so Mizuki refused. It wasn't like the boy didn't know that they would be training. He should have dressed appropriately. Mizuki was quickly learning that Naruto only quickly learned with a harsh lesson. Pain has always been the greatest motivator like that.

Naruto started to simply just hold his pants up with one hand while using the other arm to help him run, but it was slowing him down too much in Mizuki's professional opinion. "Faster!" Mizuki shouted.

At least Naruto complied, but the result was of the funnier things Mizuki has seen in his short twenty five years. The boy let his arm go to help run faster, but he was already holding his points at a low point. As a result of bringing his legs together in his next stride, the jeans quickly fell to his ankles revealing his bright orange boxer shorts with green swirls that were selectively drenched in sweat. Clearly, not the sharpest kunai in the drawer, Naruto didn't realize his predicament and continued to follow through with the stride.

Unfortunately, mind over body works only to a certain extent. As his ankle stretched the worn fabric of the jeans, the boy promptly fell to the clearing's floor in a humiliating heap. Oh, how Mizuki wished he brought his camera to capture this beautiful moment for this beautiful day. Here was the devil spawn of a punk with an ego larger than life that left a trail of destruction wherever he went laid bare.

His arms outstretched into the grass barely able to make fists in the grass, his disaster of a haircut in shambles with leftover twigs from the bushes in his hair and his whiskered face covered in sweat, dirt, grass and his own puke. The previously orange sweatshirt completely soaked in a dark sweat. His jeans twisted around his ankles and covering his shoddy sneakers with his underwear out for everyone to see.

'The picture next to the word, humiliation, in the dictionary,' Mizuki thought, 'Good. Have to start with the ground up with this one. Now to twist the knife.'

"Get up!" Mizuki shouted as he kicked Naruto in his boxer-clad butt, "I didn't say you could rest!"

"But-" Naruto started.

"I didn't ask you a question, boy. I gave you an order!" Mizuki retorted with another kick, "Get. Up! And get back to running! Or is that all your good for? Laying down like the loser you are?"

Naruto forced his trembling arms to obey him and put into a push-up position as he brought his heaving chest back up. The whole process was way too slow with Naruto slowly pulling his knees across the grass to get onto his hands and knees.

The boy clearly needed more motivation if this was all he was getting out of him, "You think the enemy ninja is going to give you a break? You think they'll give you a break? Oh, I know what will happen. Your teammates will have to cover your sorry pathetic ass as you continue to hold them back like you always will. Guess what, one day they will realize they don't need an anchor slowing down their success and leave you the fuck behind to leave you to wallow in their dust where you belong."

With a low growl in his throat, Naruto pushed himself back up and took a few steps to disentangle his jeans before starting a decent pace. Wiping some sweat off of his forehead, the blonde removed his surprisingly heavy and well-named sweatshirt revealing his light gray tank top that became a dark gray through sweat. Mizuki honestly admired the determination because he was certain the boy would quit in disgrace.

However, what concerned Mizuki was the state of the boy's body. Yes, the boy was short and would weigh less than an average child his age, but he clearly weighed less than a nine year old his height. It became painfully obvious that Mizuki needed to focus the majority of his efforts on the boy's diet.

Not enough people understood the importance of one's diet. To lose weight, one needed to eat fewer calories than they expended throughout the day. To gain weight, one needed to eat more calories than they used. To gain muscle, one needed to eat more calories than they used while using said muscles in various exercise to grow them. That worked all good and nice for adults, but for growing children, they needed to eat more calories than they used. Now, for aspiring Shinobi children, one really needed to eat their fair share of calories to both grow tall and lean muscle required for the jobs.

Looking at the boy's thin-boned shoulder blades moved in tandem with his running arms, Mizuki reaffirmed his plans. He just hoped that the Akimichi clan was as generous as everyone says they were because Mizuki was certain his charge had malnutrition. Mizuki just hoped that the boy's body wasn't permanently damaged. It was hard to push a recovery case if there wasn't any recovery.

Mizuki smiled nonetheless. This was good. He could work with this. Granted he probably shouldn't be running the boy to a state of unconsciousness, but this was about discipline, obedience and firmly establishing dominance in their teacher-student relationship. Then again not every sensei needed to have a one-on-one training sessions six times a week during the three summer months because a child managed to fail elementary school. And on top of that, not every sensei had an eleven year old in a malnutrition nine-year-old body that decided to try out drinking booze. And then to top everything off, he has to crush the boy emotionally just to get him to obey him in order to crush him physically. So here he was jogging behind a boy trying his hardest just to continue his pace in boxers, sneakers and a tank top drenched in sweat rolling the puke out of his face and chin.

During the previous three hours when his charge was fully dressed, Mizuki had a realization. An epiphany, really, in order to regain his honor and get in good standings with the community at large. He needed two things to do this. One, for some other event to occur, so that his doomed mission wouldn't still be the talk of the village. Last, he needed to change what people thought of when they thought of him. And that is where Naruto fell into place as both the lock and the key.

Naruto was always in the rumormongering wheels of Konoha for something he said or did to someone or something. He was famous; well, infamous would be the correct word, but Mizuki had the feeling that Naruto didn't realize that there was a difference between good and bad attention. So long as the attention whore was in the limelight than the boy could sleep as satisfied as someone like him could.

If he could fix the boy, then he would be golden on both accounts. He had a struggle ahead of him he knew, but he could make it. After all, when one starts at the bottom, one can only go up. Mizuki just prayed to all of the Gods that Naruto really was at rock bottom because Mizuki couldn't imagine how one could get worst. Plus, who doesn't like to hear a recovery story? The worst orphan in history turning himself into a respectable individual with the help of his ever trusty and good looking sensei. Mizuki grinned lecherously at the thought of all the girl's panties dropping when he pulled this out of his ass.

What was best about the whole situation was that everyone won. He won as the sensei who did the impossible, the women won because they get to experience how good he is in the sack, the honorable Hokage-sama won as the grandfather figure who can see the potential in everyone, and, who knows, maybe the little twerp himself will become a semi-functioning member of society.

Ah, Mizuki could see it now. He would be making this dream, this ambition true even if he had to shove food down the bullheaded boy's throat.


	3. One Step at a Time

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER ONE: THE SENSEI THAT DREAMED

ONE STEP AT A TIME

* * *

After a few moments, well more than few moments, of daydreaming of less than noble intentions, Mizuki decided that his miracle plan for Naruto wasn't going to be completed by running laps in his underwear. He glanced at his wristwatch and smirked at the perfect timing, "I was going to end it hear, but we still have forty-five minutes to catch back up on because someone decided to be disrespectful and not show up on time."

"But-" Naruto began with exhaustion clear in his voice.

"Did I ask you a question?" Mizuki retorted quickly and sternly.

"Um, well, no" Naruto whispered hoarsely.

"Speak like a man with some balls. The correct answer is 'No, Mizuki-sensei', but you shouldn't need to say that. You should instead have said 'Hai, Mizuki-sensei' when given an order instead of wasting everyone's time with your pathetic and worthless excuses," Mizuki quickly ordered. "And just because we're finally coming into our sensei-student relationship, I'll give you a hint. You are going to be saying 'Hai, Mizuki-sensei'."

There was a slight pause in sound as Mizuki readied himself for the magic words.

"Hai, Mizuki-sensei," Naruto's voice drifted through the clearing.

"Louder," Mizuki ordered.

"Hai, Mizuki-sensei," Naruto said.

"Louder!" Mizuki repeated himself.

"Hai, Mizuki-sensei!" Naruto yelled.

"Good, let's continue Naruto-seito."

* * *

After another beautiful forty-five minutes getting some light exercise on this beautiful day, Mizuki decided he would move on to something better to celebrate this transformative day with his student. The boy was huffing and puffing as quick as he could in the middle of the clearing with his small body bent over and hands on his knees. Mizuki came to realize the importance of having a one-on-one training session because the training never ended and the lessons never stopped.

Mizuki grinned to himself as he stepped forward and in front of Naruto in standard military position with legs shoulder-width apart, shoulders squared, chin up, and hands clasped firmly behind his back. "Never show weakness," Mizuki stated without inflection, "Mirror your superior."

Naruto looked up at him behind his bangs taking in the stiff posture before starting to straighten his posture and stopping when Mizuki questioned if he was forgetting anything.

"Hai, Mizuki-sensei," Naruto stated loudly and clearly to Mizuki's satisfaction despite his small heaving chest.

Mizuki circled around Naruto and corrected the hand position before standing before Naruto again. Looking up and down at the punk's state before him would normally bring Mizuki to hysterics if he weren't trying to instill some basic discipline into the unruly child. Here was the worst prankster and orphan in Konoha's centuries of existence standing in military position in nothing but his soaked boxer shorts and tank top.

This brought Mizuki to pause because there was no way it could be this easy. All he did was put the boy in his place, tell him what to do and then stuck with it. Mizuki couldn't tell whether or not everyone just gave up on the boy or what, but then again they probably didn't have the motivation to see this through like he did. Nonetheless, Mizuki wasn't going to fix something that wasn't broke and just keep the path. According to Iruka-kun, everyone had a different learning style and with the luxury of one-on-one training Mizuki had, he was going to figure it out and exploit it to the maximum.

It was one of those useless ninja codes if Mizuki remembered correctly.

"At ease," Mizuki stated while relaxing his posture, which Naruto followed after seeing what that meant.

"Good," Mizuki commented patting himself on the shoulder mentally at his skills at positive reinforcement, "We have a meeting with the honorable Hokage-sama at 1400. In the meantime, we are going to get ready at a local bathhouse and get lunch where I will instruct you in proper etiquette at such establishments. How you hold yourself in society is important, and everyone notices the difference. More importantly, we are going to address your horrendous eating habits - your alcohol experience aside. Did you bring your wallet?"

Naruto went to pat his jean pockets before realizing he wasn't wearing any and smiled impishly at Mizuki. Cerulean blue eyes darting to the side he noticed his frog-shaped wallet sticking out of the sides and calling out, "Hai, Mizuki-sensei."

* * *

Mizuki and Naruto were standing in front of the honorable Hokage-sama's door, and Mizuki was nervous but refused to show it. Amongst other things, he would completely lose face in front of Naruto and lose all hope of revolutionizing his life. The bathhouse was an eye-opening experience. The boy was utterly clueless with what to do with himself and surprisingly shy.

At the public bathhouse, Mizuki just finished undressing and storing his clothes properly in the bin with the small white towel in his hand. Looking over at his charge, the fully dressed boy's face was a very strong shade of red whose eyes kept darting at himself and the rare fellow customer. Mizuki silently sighed to himself at the complexities of this child; the brat could run in circles all day in his underwear in front of his sensei, but the moment it came to taking a wash he was petrified in front of strangers.

"You know you have one too," Mizuki said pointing the boy's privates.

The boy immediately and pointlessly covered himself whispering out harshly, "I know that!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"What's the problem?" Naruto asked in outrage before giving his astute observation of his surroundings, "Everyone's naked!"

"So when I said we would go to the bathhouse, you thought that what we would what exactly?"

"I don't know," the boy mumbled.

"Talk like a man," Mizuki corrected quickly, "Now take this lesson to heart. When you don't know what to do in a situation, act like you do. Act like you are in charge of the situation, and everything you do is correct. Here is the trick though, just do what everyone else is doing, and no one will know. Simple but tricky. You'll get the hang of it. Like one of sensei's in high school said, 'Fake it until you make it.' For instance, when everyone undresses, you shouldn't be the only one with their clothes on.

"Now at the bathhouse you first clean yourself off at one of the stations and then bathe in the waters, so follow me and do as your sensei does."

After finishing with the cleansing ritual that required a surprisingly large amount of instructions on how to properly clean oneself, they moved onto the actual bathing experience. Well, after the boy needed to point out every observation about the differences between all the 'kunais' in the bathhouse. Didn't they teach this stuff at the end of fifth grade? Then again, his charge apparently failed elementary school so that was to be expected. Even Mizuki was getting embarrassed at the path the boy's questions were going.

"It is socially acceptable, well, it's correct to wrap the towel around the waist or to fold it and keep it on top of your head," Mizuki began explaining the tradition, "but as Shinobi you are expected to keep the towel on top of your head. It shows poise, tradition and self-confidence in one's body at all times. All of which you need to work on. You see my cute little student. Everything is a test at all times in what to do, when to do it, where to do it and how to do it with bonus points on the why."

Finding a secluded part of the hot waters so not to disturb the other patrons, Mizuki began his lecture by pointing out the boy's physical flaws in very clear words, followed by detailing the importance of a proper protein diet filled with beef, pork, poultry, fish and beans with a finishing threat that the damage might already be permanent. The boy claims to sacrifice all food at the end of the month when he eventually runs out of his monthly stipend. Apparently his manga and comic book subscriptions followed by numerous trips to any show in town and movie theater can do that to a budget. 'Great,' Mizuki thought, 'Now I have to balance an eleven year old's budget. The work never ends.'

Then the boy's stomach decided to mimic an orchestra and sent out its song across the whole bathhouse. 'The work truly never ends,' Mizuki surmised. Getting dressed again, Mizuki decided that the best thing in Naruto's budget and body would be one of those all-you-can-eat buffets that the Akimichi had throughout the village. 'Now,' if Mizuki remembered correctly, 'the nearest one should be three streets over and one street down.'

Of course, the boy immediately went for the unlimited soft serve machine and plates of brownies, cakes and other empty-calorie sweets. Clearly, Naruto required handholding and very explicit examples, so Mizuki had the boy pick one of each protein-related dish in the place.

Even the process of eating needed very explicit instructions: Use a fork for that, put your napkin in your lap, cut it into smaller pieces before eating, bring the fork to the mouth; not the mouth to the fork, don't eat off the plate, drink your tea, don't play with your food, eat it before it gets cold, you're eating too fast now, you're eating too slow, eat your fruit, eat your vegetables, yes, eat your vegetables, no, focus on the beans, don't laugh with food in your mouth, don't talk with food in your mouth, don't stab the food, don't eat with your hands, don't burp in public, don't fart in public too, seriously don't fart, do you need to go to the bathroom?, clean your face, the idea is to put the food in your mouth and not all over your face, eat more, drink more, you're not full, eat more, you can't have desert because kids who show up late don't get desert, and eat some more of everything.

In front of the closed door to the Hokage's office, Mizuki looked over at his charge hoping that this whole meeting wouldn't royally blow up in his face. The boy turned into a half-decent person when given a modicum of attention. However, the moment Mizuki let Naruto leave his eyes; the boy would revert into some sort of feral state for troublemakers. Mizuki was actually rather impressed that they were able to meet with the second busiest man in all of the Land of Fire with a few hours notice, but the honorable Hokage-sama always had a weird indulgence for Naruto for some reason.

Suddenly, one of the Hokage's ANBU guards appeared in front of the door and opened it silently. 'Geez,' Mizuki thought as he looked at the particular ANBU's stature, 'that is one young ANBU member. Didn't they have a rule against that or something?' Taking that as his cue, Mizuki started to enter the room before Naruto dropped all sense of decorum and rushed forward waving cheerfully at the ANBU.

"Heya Weasel-San! I haven't seen you in forever Nee-San! Where have you been? It's been like a whole month, ya know?" Naruto rushed the words out without pause, "This is my new Sensei. Well, he's special because I have to do schooling even in the summer. Ugh! I know right? He's cool though once ya ignore the giant stick up his ass, but you would know all about that right? Ha ha ha. Get it? Because you have a giant stick up yours too! Anyway, oh wait never mind that, this Sensei actually has a name. Mizuki! I never did really remember the others. Oh! And we went to the bathhouse which was kinda creepy, ya know, in the beginning with all of those naked old guys, ya know, but then we went to go eat at this new place I've never been. It was totally awesome, ya know! I mean it didn't have any ramen, ya know, but hey, it was all-you-could-eat and you could really eat everything, ya know! Well, I wanted those awesome looking brownies, but Sensei said I couldn't. But all the other food was so good, ya know. So. What have you been up too? Kicking ass and taking names I'm sure. I'm so jealous, ya know. So cool with your mask. When do I get a mask? Not that I would really wear it. With a mug this pretty you don't hide it, ya know-"

"Please enter, Uzumaki-San," the ANBU said without any inflection in his voice.

"It was nice to see ya too, Weasel-San," Naruto said needlessly loud before walking forward and waving over his shoulder, "Come hang out sometime. Don't be a stranger!"

'Literally, what the fuck?' thought Mizuki as he needed a few moments to regain his composure, 'Who talks to an ANBU like that? Like a friend? And what was that vomit he was spewing like a motormouth. Wait, ignore that, his only friend is a young ANBU? Could they be anymore of an opposite pair? Geez, I feel ten years dumber for just listening to that-'

"Please enter, Mizuki-San," the ANBU said just like before jostling Mizuki out his thoughts. Mizuki glanced over at the ANBU member briefly. 'Is he being cheeky with me?' Mizuki asked himself swearing he heard some sass in there before ignoring that train of thought because he would never know.

Meanwhile, Naruto apparently was having an equally engaging conversation with the honorable Hokage-sama in the sense that Sarutobi-sama was puffing away on his pipe while Naruto blathered the smoke away.

" -so what's up with ya, Jiji? I have to tell ya all about this one piece of work I meet like what two weeks ago-," Naruto continued.

Mizuki stopped mid-step. 'Did that little shit just call the honorable Hokage-sama an old man?' Mizuki thought in outrage. 'His charge just disrespected the leader of the greatest village in the world to his face. He really should have died with the rest of his pompous team on that damn mission.'

" -I was like no way, but then he was like yes way, but he wasn't fooling me, Jiji, let me tell ya-," Naruto said. Mizuki could feel the sweat percolating everywhere on his body.

"Good to see you again, Mizuki-kun," the honorable Hokage-sama addressed him. Mizuki felt himself get unnaturally cold.

Mizuki wondered if he should have asked for the right to commit seppuku to regain his family's honor. He might not be on the best of terms with his father, but he didn't wish this kind of dishonor on his mother. Instead, Mizuki bowed with his hands to his side way further than decorum required, "As well, Hokage-sama."

"Please be seated. I hear that you had an interesting training session with Naruto-kun this morning," Sarutobi-sama stated while refilling his pipe. "I- "

"Wait! Was Dog-San spying on me again?" Naruto interrupted the honorable Hokage-Sama, "he could of at least said hello. I haven't seen him all summer! Although that would only be a month really-"

His charge had his own ANBU guard? And he saw everything that happened! Shit! He had a feeling his training techniques weren't quite Hokage-approved.

"Maybe another time," Hokage-sama announced, "Now, Mizuki-kun, you requested this meeting, yes?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Mizuki answered deciding to get to the crux of the matter, "I believe that there are multiple areas for improvements, but I plan on focusing on Naruto-kun's foundation first with his diet. While I am no pediatrician, I find that Naruto-kun's height and weight are both significantly below average-"

"-Hey!" Naruto shouted.

"-which I link to his improper eating habits. Thus, I believe that with the help of an Akimichi nutritionist we could get a professional opinion to improve Naruto's physique and well-being. With a steady and healthy diet with continued exercises for the next two months, I expect significant improvement that will allow Naruto-kun the potential to excel in his other studies."

The honorable Hokage-sama took a puff of his pipe and slowly exhaled before responding, "That sounds like a sound course of action, but what about improving Naruto-kun's academics to get him up to an elementary school level?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Mizuki answered, "I feel that a less than traditional approach may be required."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto shrieked.

Taking a puff of his pipe, the Hokage gave a small smile showing his wrinkles, "I look forward to seeing the results, Mizuki-kun, how does meeting next week, same time?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Mizuki responded automatically.

"Now, Mizuki-kun, if you could give Naruto-kun and I some time for a little talk and wait outside," the Hokage continued.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Mizuki repeated before getting up, giving a regular boy and leaving the room to wait outside.

Before Mizuki fully left the room, he heard the honorable Hokage-sama continue, "Now, Naruto-kun I believe we need to have a conversation about making proper decisions for an aspiring Shinobi of the Leaf."

Mizuki just hoped that the honorable Hokage-sama could convince Naruto to do something about his butchered haircut. He didn't know if he could stand being seen in public with the boy. Plus, it made him look bad. Maybe, if he showed the boy around to everyone in the beginning, so they could see just what bad shape the punk was in. Then everyone would see just how good Mizuki the sensei was.


	4. Introspection

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TWO: A DAY IN THE LIFE

INTROSPECTION

* * *

An alarm blared throughout the dark room interrupting Naruto's beautiful dreams of eating ramen and kicking ass. Naruto rolled over mumbling out five more minutes. He would just eat on the way. Who the hell trains during the summer break anyway? The summer break was time to relax and do stuff to one's heart's content.

Also with the changes to his eating habits and exercise routine, Naruto felt like he was getting the best sleep ever. Usually he had trouble going to sleep or staying asleep during the night. Everyone blamed his soda-right-before-bed habit, but he was still holding out on that. One couldn't believe everything that they were told. Something about group conformity or group think or group something.

Then, the second alarm rang from the other side of room where Naruto couldn't just slam it off. The sun wasn't even up yet! In fact, it wouldn't even be up in like two hours. They're making him get up an hour early, and for what? He didn't need thirty minutes to get ready, and the walk took thirty minutes. Keyword, walk. He could totally make it in like fifteen minutes at a leisurely jog plus or minus five minutes or ten, but who was counting?

Ha! He knew who was counting, and it was the devil-sensei that went by the name of Mizuki. 'Oh, you're five minutes late. I guess we will be doing five extra of everything, and we won't be delaying the schedule.'

Bah! What was the worst was that Jiji betrayed him and joined Mizuki in on the torture. Well, that actually put a damper on Naruto's mood because he vividly remembered all that stuff that Mizuki yelled in his face that day two weeks or so ago. He always knew that he wasn't the best student in the Academy or the best foster child in the system. He didn't realize that his actions reflected on others.

Naruto was always alone. In his early years, it was a weakness that held him down, but then he heard about how the really strong people were those who were able to turn weaknesses into strengths. So Naruto did just that. He didn't need others to be happy or to have fun. He did what he wanted, when he wanted, how wanted and where he wanted. He couldn't claim to be the happiest child out there, but the world was his to do with as he pleased. The epiphany of independence with only the limits of reality holding his imagination back.

He begged endlessly to enroll into the Academy despite not having the best examination for children to enter. Which was saying a lot since the whole point of the exam was to prevent those lame of mind and body from entering. He wasn't lame -just a little uncoordinated and, what was the fancy-mancy medical term, attention deficit? Whatever. He knew he was the coolest kid ever and was going to be the most awesomest Shinobi this world has ever seen.

According to his devil-sensei, Jiji went out of his way to get Naruto into the Academy system and allow him to stay. Naruto always thought that he was there on his own merits. He knew others considered him a fool, but he could handle everyone putting him down. It wasn't like it was anything new. Naruto just didn't want everyone thinking Jiji was the fool for believing in him.

Half the reason he didn't have a backbone during that morning's training session was because Mizuki's words really hurt him. He needed time to process everything, but he wasn't given any. The other half was a mixture of knowing he royally fucked up by stealing that old man's booze, and the booze was still reeling around in his head.

Also, he was independent. He wasn't a worm. He didn't bend over backwards the moment someone older than him told him what to do. He just needed some time alone, but the world didn't always give him what he wanted, if ever. So, he ran. He ran away from the troubling thoughts.

In fact, Naruto was finding running to be oddly therapeutic if you could get into a steady rhythm. The ability to zone out of ones mind without thinking about anything other than the feeling of breathing in and out of his nose. Normally, he needed something to take all of his attention to be satisfied. It's why he ate in front of the TV, played the radio during his weekly shower and got bored out of his mind all the time. Well, the shower situation became a daily occurrence because his devil-sensei was a total stickler about every. little. detail.

An electric pulse emanated throughout the blonde's body causing a minor spasm with the comforter falling off of the small body and onto the carpet floor. Fuck! He forgot about the third alarm around his wrist that Jiji so kindly bought him at his devil-sensei's advice. The damn thing blasted off if he didn't take it off in a minute past his alarms went off. Apparently it would eventually train his body into automatically waking up, but so far Naruto thought it was a giant load of crap.

Yanking the damn thing off and slamming it onto his nightstand, Naruto pulled the remaining sheets off of him. Naruto thought it was really freaking funny that whenever Jiji or Devil-sensei wanted to get him something the money magically appeared. Yet, when he wanted to buy the newest edition of 'The Adventures of the Bunny ANBU' manga or what must be the fifth 'Princess Gale' movie, the money magically disappeared. He might be a little wet behind the ears, but he knew they were pulling his leg.

Well, he thought so, and usually that would be enough to have his full conviction behind the matter. It wasn't anymore after Mizuki inadvertently or purposefully, Naruto didn't this kind of stuff anymore, totally scrambled his brain and self-assurance that day. Naruto hated doubt. He hated wishy-washy behavior and people. He hated indecision. He hated himself right now for acting like this. For not knowing anymore, but then again he was wrong about a lot of stuff he took for granted.

Naruto got up and started turning off the alarm clocks. Passing the open door that he never closed separating his bedroom with a study desk into the kitchenette and living room, Naruto padded across the faux-wood floors in his pajama set with walrus night cap and fuzzy house socks. The kitchenette consisted of a sink, stovetop, microwave, oven, dishwasher and refrigerator with a freezer on top. The living room was a couch in front of a glass coffee table in front of a television set placed on top of a dresser. The washer and dryer set were behind a pair of double-doors next to the bedroom door which probably haven't been used as much as they have in the past two years as they have in the past two weeks.

'The early bird could have the worm and choke on it,' Naruto thought as he grabbed the box of cereal that he left on the counter because he couldn't reach the cabinets without crawling on top of the counter, and it was way too early for that. Fetching the bowl and spoon out of the sink that he cleaned after using it along with some of the milk out of the fridge, Naruto brought everything to the coffee table and turned the television set on.

'I hate my life,' Naruto succinctly summarized. All four channels were talking about the weather for the day. Crap. He forgot to bring over all the other bullshit the Akimichi was making him eat. Getting the banana, berries, honey and chia seeds, Naruto started preparing his bowl of cereal. Who needed all of these things just for a bowl of cereal? Well, he did because he was considered to be in a state of 'malnutrition' whatever that meant. All Naruto knew was that he hated the word nutrition.

'You have to eat the banana for this. The cereal has to be this granola mixture and not the super-awesome sugar puffs that you love. Drink this milk because it has more of everything good and less of everything bad. Eat the berries for this. The chia seeds are for natural energy instead of your artificial sugar rushes, and the honey is to have a little bit of flavor along with more energy for your morning exercises,' Naruto mocked the Akimichi 'nutritionist' in his head while preparing the bowl.

"Thank you, Trisha Takinawa. We expect a sunny day today with a slight chance for clouds and moderate winds. Also be prepared for a minor chance of rain in the forecast. Now for the rest of the week, we plan to see-" the weirdly attractive weatherwoman said through the television set before Naruto promptly turned it off.

"No fucking shit," Naruto mumbled with his mouth full, "I could of told ya that."

While continuing to shove the spoon into his mouth in a never-ending loop, Naruto looked out of his window to see the Hokage Monument chiseled into the cliffside. It was so early in the day that the lights were still on illuminating the five faces of the greatest Hokages in existence. The first two of course were the First Hokage Hashirama Senju and his younger brother Second Hokage Tobirama Senju. The third one was what Naruto thought was the Eighth Hokage Kodama Tsushima that dealt with the Great Civil War of the Land of Fire over something stupid probably. Then again, everyone was fighting themselves back then if he remembered correctly.

The fourth face was Naruto's favorite. The Twelfth Hokage Saigo Ezo was a total badass who didn't take shit from anyone. First Hokage to ever leave the Land of Fire while a Hokage, too! He took some islands from the Land of Water, put the power-hungry clans that were abusing the common folk in their place, protected the Great Forests of Konoha from greedy corporations, broke the trading monopolies and reignited the Will of Fire in everyone! Naruto was getting pumped just thinking about the dude. And the best part was that as a kid, the dude was a total weakling who could barely breath without having giant asthma attacks like that one nerd in his grade. If he could be that awesome, then surely Naruto could too!

The fifth face was really cool, too, in Naruto's humble opinion. The Nineteenth Hokage Minato Namikaze that defeated the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox in single combat! He was the Hokage before and after Jiji, but the dude died defeating the evil fox. One could tell by seeing how much newer the face looked compared to the others. Originally, the monument only had four faces, but after the fox attack, Jiji decided to add a fifth. Maybe if Naruto performed mythical feats too, then his face could be on the monument, ha!

He would be Naruto's number one Hokage if this Minato wasn't one of those spoiled clans folk that descended actually from Tobirama's lineage. The whole lineage thing was too complex in Naruto's opinion especially since it all meant the same special privileges given to you by everyone and their dog. If Naruto remembered correctly, the Second Hokage Tobirama separated from the Senju clan to form his own brother-clan to the Senju. Then, the Namikaze clan was an offshoot of that clan. The whole nonsense dealt with maintaining pure elemental affinities or marrying for love or whatever suited the fancy pants at the time.

Also, Naruto was too old to believe those silly fantasy stories about giant demon foxes rampaging through the village. He wasn't so gullible to fall for the Nine Tailed Demon Fox Conspiracy. Yes. He saw the restored portions of the village each with their own commemoration monument to those who died that fateful day, but they couldn't come up with a better reason to tell the public. Naruto was still debating on whether or not it was a freak accident, a super-secret medical experiment gone wrong, a crazy summon animal or a cool genjutsu or illusion.

Naruto's favorite explanation because it sounded the smartest was that an enemy village attacked Konoha with some experimental weapons and tactics to scare everyone. Since the village at the time didn't want to go to war especially with a dead Hokage, all the old people decided to cover it up with some myth about Tailed Beasts. Also, the story worked really well because it gave the clans another face on the monument to help suppress the common folk like him. Never forget Saigo Ezo! Naruto looked behind him to see the portrait of Saigo Ezo in a super badass pose and smiled.

Turning back to his mostly empty bowl filled with seemed to be everything but cereal, Naruto noticed the time on the clock on the oven by the fridge. He only had five minutes to get dressed, go to the bathroom, wash his face and brush his teeth. It was moments like these that he realized just how much his life had changed. Even his poops changed on him! They were always easy and relatively clean and whole.

Ugh, now he had to brush his teeth. His devil-sensei always spent the first like ten minutes checking his body like a total creep to make sure that he brushed his teeth, put on deodorant, was wearing clean clothes including his boxers. Although if Naruto was being totally truthful with himself, being clean wasn't too bad. People didn't avoid him like a leper, and Naruto really liked the mint toothpaste that was recommended by the lady at the pharmacy.

What was probably worst was the actual choices in clothes. Instead of his baggy sweatshirt that was super comfortable and super versatile despite the heat, he had to wear some lame gray muscle shirt that apparently helped with sweat. The tee-shirt could solve world peace for all he cared, and he wouldn't like it. He was a little self-conscious about his body, so what if his arms weren't thick like tree trunks?

The equally lame gray athletic shorts were also equally bad. They showed his kneecaps. All the cool kids were wearing baggy jeans that hanged loosely around his butt showing his boxers off. He didn't understand why that was the look, but he didn't question the most recent fashion sense for tweens. And if one was wearing shorts, the shorts also had to cover the kneecaps to be cool. Only dorks showed their kneecaps. Everyone knew that! Well, except for his devil-sensei, Jiji, and, well, everyone else he knew that was ten years older than him.

So what? He liked to be cool even if no one wanted to hang out with him for whatever reason. If they couldn't handle the fun, then he didn't need them. Of course, cool kids didn't run around in circles in their underwear. Naruto felt his face heating up in embarrassment at the memory. At least, he wasn't wearing any of his embarrassing underwear that still fit him despite being three years old. No one needed to see his Mr. Teddies.

Putting on his size-appropriate ninja-sandals and feeling like a total tart, Naruto was ready to leave his apartment for the thirty-minute walk to the selected training grounds. 'Some fucking summer this is turning out to be,' Naruto mumbled under his breath placing the key attached to a rope necklace over his head. At least no one could bitch him out for cussing in his own fucking apartment. Shit. Fuck. Balls. Dick. Bitch. Ass. Naruto was cool because cool kids used cool words. He just needed to remember to keep telling himself that.


	5. Being Special

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TWO: A DAY IN THE LIFE

BEING SPECIAL

* * *

Upon strolling into the clearing like a total badass, Naruto thought turning up like two minutes early wasn't too bad. It made one look in charge of the situation, but maybe that had to deal more with the attitude one had. He was always in charge of the situation even if it didn't look it. He was on that master plan where everything was done of purpose including the loses.

Of course, Devil-sensei himself was there waiting in the middle looking at his wristwatch. The devil was always present lurking the shadows or around the corner, though, according to that weird monk on the corner who was always pissed off at someone or something. He didn't even know what homosexuality, abortion or adultery even was, so in Naruto's book that meant they were all unimportant.

"Good morning, Naruto-kun," Devil-sensei said with a light smile looking up from his wristwatch. The monk also said something about the Devil always appearing fun and cool while decaying the morals of society. What were morals and fuck society was Naruto's response.

Taking a deep breath to make sure he spoke loudly and clearly for his partially deaf sensei, "Good morning, Mizuki-sensei." Naruto wanted to throw-up his pre-morning workout breakfast that wasn't even his real breakfast if it didn't actually taste so good going down. He made a mental note to come up with a cooler name for his two breakfasts. First and second breakfast sounded lame, but he actually kind of liked the sound of it. Simple and classy like himself.

"Since you arrived early today, you showed good behavior, and good behavior should be rewarded," Mizuki announced. Didn't Kiba-kun talk to his dog like that? "So what would you like to train in today? Taijutsu? Endurance? Maths? History? General advice?"

'Huh,' Naruto thought. 'So I get to chose what I want to do today? Well what Naruto wanted to do was steal Mizuki's pants and make him run around in his whitey-tighties in total embarrassment in revenge.' He looked like a whitey-tighties kind of guy, but that wasn't technically training.

This was actually a problem. Naruto had no idea what he wanted to do. Damn, he got lazy with this new sensei. Where was his fire to go do stuff? Where was his imagination to be the coolest Shinobi ever? Was he, gods-forbid, content? No. Content was for losers. Well, he was always content with complaining about everything, and Mizuki-sensei always gave him something to moan and groan about.

Naruto's gut reaction was to ask for a super cool jutsu to defeat all of his enemies, but the Devil-sensei beat it into his head that nothing like that existed. As it turned out, nothing was actually special unless one was in a clan. Naruto might have a famous extinct clan name, but that was honorary for his mysterious heroic parents that died in the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox attack. Correction, the conspiracy of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox.

Naruto spent many days and nights lamenting his life, while crying like the little baby he was. However, he was over that now. He was his own person. He didn't need a real clan. He didn't need parents. He would make his own mark on the world by himself with his own sweat and blood. No tears were allowed.

In other words, Naruto didn't give two shits about his parents may or may not have been. He didn't care if they were heroes or villains. He was his own person completely independent of his mysterious lineage that only Jiji knew about. Unlike one of those spoiled clan children or rich civilian children, Naruto didn't need to lean on the power of his family or clan for power, prestige, money and love. Naruto was playing this game of life on hard mode and wouldn't have it any other way.

"We could work on your kunai accuracy and speed. Speaking of speed, we could do some sprints. Your math still isn't up to par, and we could always work on your dodging skills," Devil-sensei suggested. "You still have two minutes to think it over."

'Fuck that shit,' Naruto thought to himself vehemently. He needed to think of something to do and quickly. Dodging was actually rather fun because the whole purpose was to beat the Sensei but hurt like a bitch when the rounded kunai hit him leaving large welts. Of course, sensei ruined all of the fun by involving math in the whole scenario. Mizuki would ask him a math question, and if Naruto didn't answer the question within like two seconds, then Mizuki would hit him.

The surprise was in with what. Fists, feet, elbow, blunted kunai, blunted shuriken, or his knees. 'A Shinobi always used every tool at his or her disposal to achieve victory,' Mizuki would say reciting one of those Shinobi Code rules.

Naruto could feel the sudden lightbulb popping above his head. "Weapons!" Naruto shouted suddenly. "I want to learn cool weapons like a sword or mace or that weird sickle and chain that Fu Saiko uses in the 'Land of Darkness'."

"Let's hold off on the fancy weapons, Naruto-kun, and focus on the kunai and shuriken," Mizuki-sensei said with a sigh.

"Hey! You said I got to pick, and I picked. So teach me like you are supposed to, sensei," Naruto said through gritted teeth.

"We don't always get what we want," Devil-sensei responded. "Why don't I show you a few stances and moves to use with the kunai. If you really impress me, then I'll ask the honorable Hokage-sama to get you a kenjutsu instructor."

Mizuki-sensei threw a blunted dagger at him that Naruto snatched out of the air. "But first, show me what you've got."

Shit. Naruto forgot how much he sucked with weapons.

* * *

"Again," Mizuki-sensei shouted as he lunged forward with a blunted kunai held in position.

In a flurry of motion, Naruto dodged, rolled, blocked, parried, riposted and counter-attacked in that order with the same motion for the past hour. After Mizuki-sensei discovered Naruto's complete inaptitude for using a kunai as a hand-held weapon, he instructed Naruto in an elementary Konoha counter-attack.

Naruto was fairly certain that it was the same moves used by every Shinobi everywhere, but he kept his mouth shut - mainly because he barely had time to breath. Devil-sensei made some smart remark about not having time to breath during battle. Naruto also highly doubted that because every manga, anime and movie he ever watched involved long bouts of talking and telling life stories. Sometimes they even had episode-long flashbacks in the middle of a fight. What the fuck was up with that?

"Good," Mizuki-sensei said a little out of breath himself after practicing like this for about two hours now. "You need to roll better with the attacks, be more fluid and the like. Currently it's all blocky. You need to make everything flow seamlessly as if it were in one movement. An opponent will see the beginning and ending of each part of the movement and exploit the gaps as should you should your opponent make the same mistake."

Naruto nodded but had better thoughts that he voiced after catching his breath, "I change my mind. I don't wanna learn no weapons."

He was actually rather pissed. Naruto was hoping he could at least do something with a preternatural talent. Every clan member had some weird talent or special jutsu, and he knew he would never have anything cool like that but still. He wanted something. He just wanted to be good at something. Honestly, the train of thought was bumming him out. He put in two grueling weeks, and all he did was make minor improvements to basic Shinobi abilities that he was significantly super at already. In summary, it sucked. When was this hard work pays off bullshit supposed to kick in.

Two weeks! Naruto scoffed the ground in his newly acquired Shinobi sandals and frowned. All of this hard work, lifestyle changes, diet changes, sleeping habits and the elimination of all fun activities, and he could run a little longer, a little faster, dodge three out of five kunai instead of two, do a few multiplication and division problems quicker and hit seven out of ten kunai on the dummy instead of five.

He just wanted to do something right! The ability to be special in something!

"Now, now Naruto-kun don't be upset. We are making significant progress. You have improved more in the past two weeks than the past year alone. Also, change doesn't happen overnight or even in two weeks. What I can promise you is that by the time middle school comes around your classmates will see a whole new Naruto Uzumaki that demands respect," Mizuki placated. "The fundamentals are the most important feature of any skill. With a strong foundation, anything can be accomplished so long as you use your mind."

That all sounded good and all to Naruto, but he wanted fire. Instead, his sensei was offering mud. Maybe Naruto was wrong. His sensei wasn't the devil, but some boring angel preaching about long-term goals and satisfaction in doing the right thing. Was it too much to ask for some magical being to corrupt him with ultimate power at some grand and astronomical price? Instead, he got an honorary clan name that seemed to drag him behind everyone else while simultaneously reminding everyone about his flaws, weaknesses and utter lack of talent.

Fuck asking about weapons, Naruto should have asked for teaching him something the Uzumaki clan did. Naruto might not be the sharpest kunai in the drawer, but he knew that an Uzumaki was a whirlpool. Thus, the Uzumaki were grand users of water-related ninjutsu by logical reasoning. Unfortunately, it was way too early to learn ninjutsu without risking significant damage to a growing bodies chakra network. Maybe they did something else? The Senju clan were renowned for their Wood Release techniques, but Tsunade was the greatest medical ninja that ever lived. Wasn't she still alive? Nevermind. Well, it never hurt to ask.

"Teach me how to be an Uzumaki," Naruto said not realizing how serious that sounded. "Like teach me how to be good at something they were good at."

Mizuki-sensei eyes dodged Naruto's for a few moments before coughing into his hand, "Right. Well. The Uzumaki were experts in the Sealing Arts. In fact, there were no greater seal masters than the Uzumaki before their demise at the hands of a surprise attack by Earth, Lightning and Mist. This of course started the Sixth Great Hidden War which resulted in Konoha's favor along with Konoha creating vassal states of the remaining minor Hidden Villages that sought Konoha's protection against the other aggressive Hidden Villages. A large reason why Konoha won was because the surprise attack on the Village Hidden in the Whirlpools resulted in what is now called a Whirlpool Victory. This means winning a battle, but at such a great of cost that it was a victory by drowning the enemy in your own blood."

This lecture on the awesomeness of the Uzumaki clan wasn't helping Naruto's disparate mood in the least. Someone could slit his throat at night, and the only one drowning in his blood would be himself. Well, Naruto wouldn't be getting any better by sulking and being a little bitch, "Teach me the Sealing Arts then."

Mizuki had the nerve to laugh causing Naruto's blood to boil, "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun, but I don't really know any of the Sealing Arts. You see Shinobi except for a few dozen only use the very basic seals such as storage and various barrier techniques. My friend Iruka-kun is actually rather proficient with barrier techniques which is really weird because he is a member of the Umino clan."

"Some sensei you are," Naruto said unable to hold his tongue.

"We still have plenty of other areas to improve upon," Mizuki-sensei retorted not the least bit miffed at his student's sullen behavior. "If it'll make you train better, then you can talk about it with the honorable Hokage-sama at your weekly evaluation. If anyone would know anything, then it would be the Professor himself."

Oh yeah, Jiji, knew everything. This could work out. Naruto hasn't used his wide blue orphan eyes technique in a while. He just needed to watch that one movie with the sword-fighting cat tonight during his few hours of free time.

"Now you have an hour break for breakfast," Mizuki started. "Then, I'll swing by your place and pick you up to go work on your equations and identifying which berries, roots, mushrooms and nuts are edible in case you have to forage for food."

Geez, it was like everything revolved around food.

* * *

After closing the refrigerator door for what felt like the twelfth time, Naruto came to the conclusion that he needed a more efficient way of cooking breakfast. He always forgot something. The eggs, the bacon, the hot sauce, some herbs in the too-tall cabinet, the weird pills that needed to be refrigerated, the orange juice, the butter, the oil for the pain and the cooking notes. While it had already been two weeks, he always forgot a certain step in actually cooking the stuff.

No wonder the Akimichi were renowned for their cooking. They threw the kitchen in the pan and put what didn't fit on the table. The whole process was outrageous. It took him like fifteen minutes. He wasn't a monk; he was a Shinobi.

Performing the magic in the right order, Naruto placed the multiple plates of food on the coffee table and went back to bring the whole carton of orange juice. He drank one of those half-liter things in two days. It wasn't that Naruto didn't appreciate a good meal at any time of the day. It's just that Naruto had more important things to do than eat. Collecting the whole 'Battleground' manga and VHS series without paying a ryo note wasn't a challenge for the light of heart. That reminded him. He needed to go acquire a VHS player.

Burping loudly into the radio-filled air that he started when he first got back to his apartment, Naruto also mentally noted that he really needed to work on his explosions of flavor. He was burping and farting way too much. The worst was that they all smelt especially the silent ones. Opening his living room window, Naruto let the fresh air flow through the apartment.

Oh yeah, he needed to water his plants that he had in the windowsill planter. The old lady with the weird bird for a pet was a decent foster parent, but she wasn't exactly playing with a full deck of cards. For instance, she never watered any of her potted plants, so Naruto felt the need to take up the burden and relieve her of a few. Also, he took the windowsill planter filled with dead annuals that she never replaced.

Possession was a loose concept for Naruto. What mattered the most was how much potential could be harvested from the object, and Naruto could conveniently always make the most out of anything. This was good because his liberations were from people who wouldn't miss it in the first place. Of course, there were a lot of individuals who merely acquired possessions for the sole purpose of not letting other people have them. The law was surprisingly indifferent to the reasons of a crime being committed once the perpetrator was acquired. The Military Police Force was weird like that.

Speaking of Konoha's Military Police Force, the Uchiha were a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud in Naruto's opinion, but who took the cake were the Hyuga. The Hyuga redefined the stick by having it perpetually stuck up their asses. Naruto could usually manage to run away from the Uchiha's, but their uncanny memory and ability to see everything you do with what felt like five steps before you actually did made life hard. The Hyuga on the other hand could use their blind-looking eyes to just flat out see you. The worst was when they paired up which happened rarely but happened enough to Naruto it felt like.

According to one of the history lessons that Naruto actually remembered, the Uchiha used to be the sole clan members with the potential for Shinobis with no clan backgrounds or affiliations of the Military Police Force under one of the Second Hokage Tobirama's laws. Apparently, the Uchiha were not afraid to wield their power over others as were their rights. This in turn led to the Uchiha clan not being the most well liked individuals of Konoha. Of course, the Uchiha didn't want to lose their power over all of Konoha, other clans included, as was their right given to them in writing by the Second Hokage himself.

Nonetheless, change was inevitable along with the power of compromise. In exchange for the selection of the first Uchiha Hokage, the Uchiha would relinquish complete clan hold of the Military Police Force. This opened the doors to the Hyuga with their all-seeing eyes to help crackdown on the slowly growing criminal elements of the rapidly expanding Hidden Village in the Leaves. Furthermore, the Hyuga were given a larger responsibility in the village which they desired as one of the largest clans not only in Konoha but the world. It just so happened that their clan's special talent helped with law and order.

Naruto had to write some needlessly long essay on the matter for a school project. He went with the themes of: the power of compromise in solving the problem, even the smartest Shinobi sometimes makes mistakes in relation to the Second Hokage and the power of teamwork with the combined forces of Hyuga and Uchiha. The key to writing assignments in the Konoha Shinobi Academy Naruto quickly found out was the need to always mention the power of teamwork. If there was a problem, then the answer was teamwork. If you couldn't think of something to say, then the answer was teamwork. If it was a trick question, then the answer was teamwork.

The paper merited a 95 with glowing remarks from the teacher. He would have made a 100 if he didn't have a few grammar and spelling mistakes. The teacher even said so. The reason why Naruto knew the paper so well was because he wrote it a few more times when one of his punishments was writing a few pages over his misdeeds, the importance of law and order and whatever floated through the Justice of the Peace's head at the time.

Then they acted confused about why he committed actions when he knew they were wrong. What part of: 'they weren't using it; I could use it' did they not understand? Plus, he was fucking broke all the time. If Naruto remembered correctly, then Jiji blamed that his rent was too damn high. Even Mizuki-sensei agreed when he looked over Naruto's balance book. Made sense to him since he absolutely loved his apartment and would never give it up. Awesome view, no communal showers and no communal laundry system made Naruto a very happy boy. He was the king of his own castle and didn't have to share it with the peasantry.

A loud chime broke through the radio's advertisements that were always louder than the actual music. He was being summoned. Naruto sealed his windows back and put his watering can under the sink. If anyone so much as attempted to think about stealing from him, then Naruto was going chop their fucking hands off. He hated it when people take his stuff. What he needed was way to write down all of his random thoughts without making a diary because that was for girls.

He couldn't possibly remember all of the cool stuff that ran through his head at all times of the day. Anyway, Naruto checked his person to make sure he wouldn't be forgetting anything. Not missing anything grabbed the key necklace and threw it over his neck before heading out. Oh, duh! He forgot his backpack.


	6. A Better Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TWO: A DAY IN THE LIFE

A BETTER TOMORROW

* * *

"Okay," Mizuki-sensei said to begin his tedious lectures. "What little I understand about the Sealing Arts is that requires very precise penmanship with a very precise type of ink. Because of this, I decided that you would write some of your answers down today while practicing your penmanship. Also, writing down answers works a mnemonic device that will help you remember the answer!"

First off, sensei was way too proud of this lesson plan. Second, Naruto only heard about half of it because he was really focusing on keeping from farting. Those eggs did look a little too greasy, and the bacon wasn't as crispy as he normally liked it.

"Now let's start with some basic history. Describe the importance of peasant revolts while citing one specific example," Mizuki continued giving his charge a concerned look. "Are you feeling alright, Naruto-kun? You keep squirming in your desk like a -"

A loud noise ripped through the empty classroom and echoed off of the wooden walls. Naruto slumped down his desk with a grand sigh. Boy was that loud, and he felt like ten pounds lighter. It might have been a record-breaker.

"Dear Gods, Naruto. Control yourself and just go to the bathroom next time," Mizuki chastised.

"People actually go do that? Is that why I've never heard a girl-," Naruto stood upright out of his desk laughing while pinching his nose and waving his hand in front of his face. "That was a smeller."

Catching a whiff, Mizuki quickly backed away, "We're going to do a different room, and make sure to get it all out of your system, too. There are only so many classrooms for you to foul up."

Letting loose and howling in laughter, Naruto followed his summer instructor across the hall. Reaching up to rest his arms behind his head, Naruto felt the normal locks of blonde in one hand and the shaved feeling of his skull. The haircut was cool and all, but it just required so much maintenance. The actual part of the haircut that involved hair had a tendency to hang wherever the wind blew.

The hair was supposed to comb over to the side without covering the bald spot just like in the cool photo he saw in the magazine in one of those fancy barber shops that always talked about the latest trends from the Fire Capital. Furthermore, the braid on the border between hair and scalp required continuous maintenance, and he always forgot about the hair-string-thing he needed at the end for the little rat tail. The worst part of the whole thing was the itching. His scalp itched nonstop. It was literally driving him up the walls, and the anti-itch cream he bought at the pharmacy only went so far.

In summation, Naruto regretted his impulse decision for a haircut. It cost money, it took up his time and it was a giant hassle. At the time, Naruto was feeling rather lonely. When he felt lonely, he wanted attention, and the haircut screamed look at me. All of his friends which were really nothing more than elementary school classmates were all doing something during the summer. No one really went to the park. In fact, his classmates went to the park less and less each passing year.

Everyone seemed to have their stupid families to spend time with, and it pissed Naruto off. He didn't need someone to hold his hand, go on vacations or trips, so no one should either as far as Naruto was concerned. Naruto had to shake his head out of that train of thought that he frequented too much. It always lead to his first memories. He promised himself that he would move on from the past and let it shackle him from reaching a better life for himself.

Settling down in the other room, Mizuki gave him a weird look probably around his sudden mood swing. Sensei could just mind his own business. His sensei repeated the history question. Oh well, at least it would keep his mind off of his past and worry about the past of nations.

It was always nice to know that while he made major screw-ups in his life they would never be as bad as some of the idiots that were supposedly the smartest. All the talk about noble bloodlines and their superior talents and tutelage, yet these pinnacles of human achievement had a knack for ruining everything with very few exceptions actually making life better.

Mizuki continued with the history lesson adding a few special terms like vassal states, local autonomy and weird religious cults like Jashin that Naruto diligently wrote down trying to make the letters look all nice and pretty. Then there were the clan histories of both Shinobi and Samurai and the Daimyo. A run -through of the Era of Warring States, and the atrocities that occur when a single absolute ruler is not in charge.

After a few more history lessons, they moved on to doing the math questions from this workbook filled with word problems that Mizuki brought. The book was relatively dull except for the attempts to make the situation sound reasonable by using Shinobi-related terminology like how many kunais did Sai have after he multiplied, divided, added and subtracted a few. Naruto would admit that his sense of fractions and decimals were not the best, and of course the moment Mizuki smelled weakness, he attacked with a vengeance.

That was another thing about Mizuki. He nagged and nagged and nagged about every, little, detail. His handwriting, his posture, his fingernails and his grammar were all open to debate. Naruto felt like he was being smothered by an all-consuming nightmare. It just wasn't whether one was right or not. It was how, why, where and when he did it. Furthermore, he needed to explain his logic to Mizuki. The last thing Naruto wanted was for people especially the Devil-sensei-that-wasn't-the-devil in his head.

All-in-all it wasn't too bad. Naruto always felt like people made all sorts of logical leaps in their reasoning. The worst was when Naruto was still naive and dared to ask the teachers questions, and everyone would laugh at him like an idiot. So what if he didn't immediately 'get it'. Wasn't it the teacher's job to, he didn't know, teach?

The current situation was rather novel to Naruto. Most of the things in Naruto's life only involved cons, but here he was in a situation that had both pros and cons. Naruto had every plan to take every little advantage of this situation like any other situation Naruto found himself. If given an ounce, then take a pound, right?

With Naruto it was always about potential, and it was one's Gods-given right to make every ounce of the potential into reality and then more. Life was meant to be lived to its fullest at all moments. Everyone claimed that it was beast to live in some sort of steady state of contentment. Naruto, on the other hand, wanted his highs to be high and his lows to be low. This philosophy was one of the reasons he didn't turn into a depressive sourpuss.

If life were meant to be lived in a steady line with a slight upward slope, then Naruto's life would never amount to anything of import considering how low it started. Furthermore, Naruto had no delusions of his lifespan and had tremendous respect that he would probably be able to live as long as he would. No one held back on a Shinobi's lifespan especially without any particular talent. Of course, every time someone mentioned a Shinobi's lifespan or lifestyle some old folk would always mention how things were back in their own time. The worst was when the same people would then start talking about their older generation's generation's generation.

Dear Gods, Naruto couldn't care less about someones long-dead superiors. He had enough shit to deal with himself; he couldn't possibly deal with non-existent people's problems. He couldn't even deal with other people's problems that were currently living in the same time period as himself. Naruto remember hearing from somewhere else about how the first step is helping one's own self before moving on to others, and Naruto was completely content to follow that rule to the dot.

Thus, Naruto had every intention of getting the largest high he could out of his short life before it was promptly snuffed out. The dream, obviously, was to die in a grand battle against hundreds of enemies. The way Naruto envisioned it was that he was holding the enemies back in a selfless sacrifice to be remembered as the greatest hero of the war as the individual who gave Konoha the time to win. That was a life and a death that Naruto would be content with.

As a result, he didn't really look into the long-term plans. He handled life one step at a time and one day at a time. With Mizuki temporarily turning into the devil two weeks ago, Naruto found himself doing more than just the unthinkable by actually minding like a good little kid but changing how he thought about his own future. It wasn't that the future looked brighter or less bright, but the future looked more real.

Naruto realized he wasn't going to be a hero; he wasn't going to be anything. He would just be another nameless Shinobi who died in the name of Konoha. If there was one thing that Naruto hated, then it was being a nobody. The last thing he ever wanted for himself was to be just another nameless face in the crowd. Another sheep in the herd that lived their whole lives meekly following the sheepherder.

It wouldn't be easy, but Naruto wasn't afraid of hard work. He just didn't want to do what he didn't want to do. Then again, life wasn't easy doing what one was supposed to be doing either. As it turned out, following the path that was most-travelled wasn't the safest path. Naruto wouldn't even be taking the path the least-travelled. He would be making his own path. The only problem is that to make a path requires one had to move the obstacles out of the way. Side-note, obstacles didn't like moving. Fortunately, Naruto considered himself an unstoppable force capable of bulldozing all of the obstacles in the way.

The real problem was that these obstacles currently didn't have faces. They didn't have names with their own past, present and future. Naruto wasn't naive enough to know that their would be conflicts. While Naruto didn't revel in getting into rows with everyone like everyone liked to believe, he also wasn't afraid of confrontation. He could stand his own ground and stare the enemy in the eye. Maybe that was all it took to be considered a rabble-rouser or a troublemaker or whatever they decided to call him these days.

What surprised Naruto the most was that people didn't think he was self-aware of his actions. A frequent excuse others made for him was that he wasn't aware of his actions. He was. He just didn't care about the consequences or the disciplines because life was short and he wanted some good memories for when he croaked. A life was meant to be lived, and it seemed that the older an individual got, the less they wanted to live.

In Naruto's opinion it should be the exact opposite, but if Mizuki asking him so many questions about how he thought that taught Naruto anything, then it was that he didn't think like a 'normal' person. Apparently, he was a circle surrounded by squares, and society was the square hole that everyone needed to fit inside to pass the test.

Speaking of squares and circles, Naruto's grasp on geometry also wasn't his forte as Mizuki was discovering. The real question was when did they take away the formula chart that told him how to do the circumference, perimeter, area and volume of all of these shapes? Even Naruto got those questions right on the math exams. Mizuki made some smart-ass comment about he wouldn't have a formula sheet on the job along someone to hold his hand. For someone who prided himself on his independent lifestyle, Naruto sure did need a lot of help. According to Jiji, it took a village to raise him and Naruto was starting to agree with the sentiment.

"I think we are done with your studies for the moment," Mizuki offered as he started packing away the supplies. "For homework, you will need to rewrite all of your notes, write down any questions you have about what we covered and prepare for a quiz over the subjects."

Naruto had an objection on the tip of his tongue. Unfortunately, Mizuki was giving him that damn daring look on his face just asking for Naruto to misbehave. Mizuki just didn't understand. Naruto had plans for the night like watching that movie. Instead he would be rewriting notes; the whole thing was absolutely preposterous. Life just wasn't fair sometimes.

"Now scamper and go eat lunch," Mizuki ordered when it became clear that Naruto was just going to sit there and brood.

That gave Naruto an idea. "Sensei," he whined, "lets go eat lunch together, ya know, student and sensei and all that stuff. We could bond! I know the perfect place!"

"We bonded plenty in the room over, plus I have plans," Mizuki said, "Believe it or not, but I actually have a life outside of teaching you."

"I know that!" Naruto refuted, "but this is about getting to know each other better and stuff."

Mizuki barked a laugh, "Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me twice. I'm not going to let you claim that you thought I was going to pay because I'm the sensei which also explained why you didn't have any money on your body. Also, what happened to you being broke all the time?"

Naruto gasped and put his hand over his heart, "I would never."

As Mizuki was about to leave the room, he turned his head over his shoulder, "Plus, you have to be eating what the Akimichi nutritionist said and take your vitamins. In case you haven't noticed, you're still a shrimp."

After Mizuki left the room, Naruto blew a raspberry at the open door to hear an 'I heard that' from a retreating Mizuki. Damn, Naruto's plan on freeloading a good meal was gone. Now he had to go back to his apartment and cook again and take some of those weird pills that were almost bigger than a baby's eyes. Did he remember to take the morning pills, too? Naruto wasn't the best with keeping up with his vitamin regimen.

* * *

A random Shinobi with a flak jacket entered one of the random rooms throughout the Elementary Shinobi School with the intention of getting all of his reports down for the Corps and for his clan head that had to know everything about everything.

"What in the name of the Gods is that smell?" he questioned out loud before rushing out and trying not to throw up his dinner.

It turned out that closing the room door and not opening any of the windows let Naruto's distinct flavor ferment in the room.

* * *

Naruto sighed to himself after finishing his special meal with his special drink taking his special vitamins. While he always wanted to special and stick out of the crowd, Naruto always wanted to be normal as well. He wanted to eat his cake and have it too. The problem was that he had no cake and never had.

Life was complicated, but it felt like the only thing that changed was an increase in complication. He was no where closer to getting answers to questions he didn't even know to ask. For all intents and purposes, Naruto felt lost. He was struggling to rediscover himself. The problem was that he didn't know what he wanted. For instance, he wanted both to be normal and to be special.

Looking out of his window, Naruto gazed upon the four legendary Hokages. At the end of the day when he went to bed, what did he want from the day? What did he want of the next day and the day after that day and the next and the next? He wanted to be happy or at least content with his day. He wanted to be proud of himself for his own accomplishments.

The problem was that Naruto was discovering that his previous whole years of relative happiness during elementary school after his emancipation might not have been as happy as he originally thought. His happiness was a lie. A fraud that he committed upon himself, and the only person to blame was himself. This saddened Naruto. At the end of the day, Naruto always believed in himself when no one else did except for maybe Jiji. After all, if one didn't believe in themselves, then who would ever trust him or her?

Now all of a sudden he didn't know if he could even trust himself. Was it desperation that caused Naruto to truly believe with his whole being that he was happy? Was he happy failing every course both mentally and physically? Was he happy not having any real friends? He didn't even have a best friend to share his thoughts, dreams and aspirations without reservation. He wasn't even sure what his dreams and aspirations were in the future. How could he possibly share them?

How were other people supposed to see things, good things, in him if he couldn't even do that to himself? He wouldn't even be his own friend. This train of thought was becoming too depressing and real, so Naruto naturally decided to tune it out. Ignoring the pain was one of his greatest talents, but maybe ignoring the pain wasn't the solution. Maybe it was time to confront the issues that plagued Naruto head-on without holding back. To look at the darkness in his soul and not just look the other way.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto tried to find resolve in himself. The problem was that he didn't have a solution to this problem. He couldn't ask for help because all of the respectable adult figures in his life would tell him to focus on his studies. His studies were not the solution, but they helped. They helped in the same way as ignoring the problem was.

Everyone else seemed to have someone to please. One's parents, one's clan, one's peers, one's love-interests. Naruto didn't. Bringing others happiness, did not bring happiness back to him in some sort of cosmic circle. Being nice, being proper, it never worked in Naruto's favor. He never liked the results. He did someone a favor, and the favor was never returned. Where were they in his time of need?

Naruto discovered at an early age is that when everyone's eyes were away, the so-called proper children showed their true nature. No one shared. Everyone took what they wanted even what they wanted for the simple reason of not wanting others to have it. Everyone was a savage beast that lived in a state of nature where everyone was at everyone's throats. The only thing that kept this nature back and controlled was societal pressure that existed in many forms and more names than the Gods themselves.

Everyone was so judgmental about everything. Maybe it was because they had to be in order to keep everything in check. Naruto didn't trust people. He always felt like something inside of him made him prematurely disposed to this lack of trust. He would love to trust people. He would love to take that leap of faith knowing that someone had his back, but he wasn't that naive.

This is what made his lack of trust in himself so disturbing because he had nothing to fall back onto. Jiji wasn't there to have him at all times. A simple fact that was made painfully obvious when he would cry in a corner to sleep calling for his Jiji only for no one to show up. No Jiji. No ANBU. No one. He would just have to wipe his salt trails from his cheeks and keep on with the day.

Naruto gave a long and exhaustive sigh. All of this thinking and philosophical bullshit, and nothing changed. The sun was still moving past its peak, the birds were still chirping, people still hustled in the streets and the Hokage Monument stared over him. Looking at the Hokage Monument, he pondered what it took to get such an immense amount of respect, honor and prestige such as a Hokage.

It clearly took strength of mind, body and soul. It took self-sacrifice according to the Fourth face. It took a dream in the First and the Third face. What did the Second face take? What was the saying? The First brought the people, and the Second built the city. Konoha wasn't built in a day.

Maybe Naruto was looking to far into it. Maybe it just took power, but all the Hokage were powerful. They were the most powerful Shinobi of their time in fact. Then again, power was something that everyone respected. Allies, enemies, bystanders, it didn't matter. They all respected power. No one stole from the big children. The children that defended their stuff through powerful connections or the strength of their own two arms.

Naruto didn't have a clan or a family at his back, and he couldn't change that fact. What he could change was how powerful he was, and according to Jiji the only way to get powerful was to excel in his studies. Naruto was willing to take the chance, to take the risk to finally trust Jiji with everything from his body to his mind to his soul.

He would hate it. He would feel vulnerable putting trust in someone like that even as renowned as Jiji. He would just have to overcome his own fears and doubts in others and himself and become a person who could fall asleep at night proud of one's accomplishments and the potential of tomorrow.

So Naruto decided not to turn on the television or the radio. He did not leave his room to go hunt down some outlet of temporary satisfaction. He picked up his backpack, fetched his supplies and notes and starting putting pen to paper and making his life better one letter at a time.


	7. Growing Up Sucks

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER THREE: GROWING PAINS

GROWING UP SUCKS

* * *

Pain, excruciating pain, was all Naruto could feel at the moment. Every body part that could move at an angle seemed to scream in a cacophony of bloody murder. He felt like shit and probably looked like it, but he couldn't give a shit.

When he first brought it up to his overly proud sensei, the man was ecstatic. The Akimichi nutritionist couldn't stop talking about how he was right and knew best. Jiji gave one of those wrinkly smile that almost made Naruto burst into a wide-toothed grin if he wasn't constantly grimacing in pain.

Yes, he was glad that he was finally growing, but dear Gods why didn't anyone at least give him a heads up on the pain? It hurt. It hurt sitting. It hurt standing. It hurt moving. It hurt pretending to be paralyzed. It hurt sleeping. It hurt eating. It hurt shitting. It hurt peeing. It hurt breathing. It hurt.

He wanted it to stop. He wanted help, and he wasn't afraid of asking. He demanded, pleaded, begged, asked nicely, asked for favors, said please all to no avail. Everyone had some excuse or another for why drugs, painkillers and alcohol were not acceptable solutions to temporary pain. Their high horse could trample them all for all Naruto cared, since it served them right.

The worst part was that wasn't the only problem! Instead of riding their high horse, could they let Naruto just eat it? He was in a constant and never-ending desire for food. He stopped even caring what the food was around a week ago when he stumbled into an Aburame-style restaurant with a stomach rumble that could be heard from across Konoha. Stuffing his face with all of the disgustingly green food the place served, he could have sworn that he saw somebody he knew, but since they all dressed the same, it was hard to tell. Wasn't there an Aburame in his class?

On top of that, hair was growing in spots it shouldn't be growing as far as Naruto was concerned. He was expecting hairy pits one day, but hair was growing where it shouldn't be growing. It was growing below his belly button, but it didn't stop there! Even his balls and ass were itching, and as he discovered washing himself in the shower the other day, even those areas were not off-limits to his changes. Naruto just wanted to crawl into a hole where he didn't feel anything and die with the pain and embarrassment of his body doing the things it was doing.

Every now and then pus-filled red spots would pop up on his body, and the worst was sometimes they weren't under his clothes. This morning he had to pop a giant one on his forehead. It was like he was growing a third eye up there. Mizuki claimed you weren't supposed to pop them because that made it worse by inflaming it. Clearly Mizuki had lost his mind if he thought that Naruto was going into public looking like that; he wasn't in pain that badly.

Unable to voice his opinions properly without his voice cracking, breaking and squeaking like a mouse, Naruto was one step away from losing his mind. Furthermore, Naruto could spend all day in the shower and smell like he didn't bathe in a week. His deodorant was clearly not working nearly as well as Naruto wanted it to, nay, needed it to. He couldn't fully reach his back which was annoying because he had little bumps growing all over his skin.

Mizuki-sensei claimed that the fifth grade nurse told him all about this in some special assembly. Like hell Naruto was staying after school for more schooling. Mizuki fortunately took pity and stayed after their planned teaching schedule and explained the whole process. He very explicitly explained the importance of washing every part of ones body until it was raw. One should always wear deodorant at all times. Then, he left after mumbling something about the birds and the bees. Sometimes, Mizuki-sensei made no sense.

Without a doubt, everything that was happening at once was the most frustrating thing Naruto has ever had to deal with. And guess what? Life didn't stop. Two weeks into middle school, Naruto was way over his head. If the first month was supposed to be easy, then Naruto didn't know what he was going to do when the real lessons started.

He was busting his butt just catching up on the language, history, science and math classes. Despite all of the work he put in with Mizuki, he was still far behind his peers in all of the subjects. Also, students were about to be separated between normal classes and pre-advanced placement courses. Naruto wasn't stupid enough to think he would get in all of the special classes, but he sure as hell was going to get into at least one of them.

He was still on the quest to find something he was talented in to shove in everyone's face, and it wasn't turning out that well. The problem with the Sealing Arts was that it was the advanced art of advanced arts. To be good at sealing, one had to be masters at math, science and language with the ability to mix all three subjects into one. On top of that, one needed very intimate understanding of special talents in the Sealing Arts themselves.

The best part was that nobody taught the subject! Life was just fucking great in Naruto's opinion. Naruto personally voiced his very vocal opinion during his weekly meeting with Jiji and then brought the hammer down on the middle school headmistress herself. Storming into the headmistress' office was probably not the greatest idea that Naruto ever had because within the first few days of his middle school career he managed to get on the wrong side of the woman who ran the place. All Naruto hoped was that Jiji didn't pass the hat in the next three years because he had a feeling that he would need to pull that card a few times.

The headmistress, as Naruto quickly discovered, ran a very tight ship and took her job very seriously. With the first few moments after Naruto finished his rather well-thought-out rant, she quickly took the wind out of his sails. She had a really good answer to regarding the honest truth that it was a dead art and not enough students were interested. Furthermore, it was a very difficult art in the first place, and the same amount of effort required for the Sealing Arts would be better spent in other studies.

Nonetheless, she would be more than willing to help him on his quest to discover his long lost heritage. He might have made a few remarks about how the school was a disgrace to a full-blooded Uzumaki such as himself. Naruto must have really been a roll when he spewed that bullshit. Looking back on it, she probably knew it too but rolled with it which was really nice of her actually. Maybe she didn't hate him?

It also didn't help that she was oddly attractive, and Naruto didn't know how to handle those feelings. Her raven black hair tied into a tight bun in the back with the front combed to each side with a little covering her eyes on the right. Her alabaster and perfect skin contrasted perfectly with her dark hair too with the dark red lips that matched her scarf that went down her cleavage a little. When she stood up, little Naruto took attention at her very tight black and grey pinstripe corset suit shirt and matching tight and surprisingly short skirt that revealed knee high leather boots.

If it were an anime or manga, then he would have had blood dripping out his nose. For no reason that Naruto could understand, she grabbed a meter stick and leaned against her desk to where she was sitting on it just a little revealing her suitable assets. And for no reason that Naruto could understand, Naruto felt like his body was on fire, and he couldn't stop starting at, well, everything. Just thinking about it was making Naruto feel all weird over his body especially his region below his belly button.

Slapping the meter stick into her dark red manicured hand, she startled Naruto's attention back to her face. She took the opportunity to reveal that as the middle school headmistress was in very close communication with the elementary school headmaster that hated Naruto's guts. Thus, she was in tune with Naruto's antics and failings as a student and respectable member of the community. Then the grilling started with a loud snap from the meter stick to accentuate certain points which is when Naruto discovered her no-nonsense attitude.

It wasn't that Naruto never met a strict disciplinarian of either gender, but this one made the blood in his veins light up. He felt the need to squirm in his seat and look the other way to hide his heated face. Haunting his dreams was the weirdest part, but not any weirder than Naruto's wild imagination in the dream and the feelings they elicited.

Naruto tried to shake the thoughts out of his head and focus on his morning exercises that he continued because his body demanded to be awaken with the same routine as the summer. Usually, the exercise helped clear his mind, but it was becoming increasingly harder. It wasn't the only thing becoming harder lately, and everyone refused to offer him a solution.

The dream had a solution, but whatever the solution was woke him up in a gasp of air. Although the dreams would change certain features every night, they all revolved around him being in the middle school headmistresses office waiting to be disciplined where she would always look the same. First she would explain the error of his ways, and how she would not sit idly by and watch him make a mockery of her educational facility. Next she would give very specific orders that Naruto always obeyed that involved him standing up and placing his hands on her desk.

Walking from the other side of the desk and pulling out the meter stick from no where, the headmistress would lean against the same desk sitting against it lightly where they would make side-to-side eye contact. Another conversation would follow that Naruto would mostly ignore to just look at her ass. Sometimes dreams were just too real like that. Of course, she would call him out and proceed to claim that she would be taking a hands-on approach.

Standing up from the desk to Naruto's great disappointment, she would behind Naruto and place the meter stick between his legs and slowly raise the meter stick. Just enough to not touch any of the family jewels, she would whack both sides of his inner thigh with the meter stick demanding him to spread his legs. Naruto's body automatically adjusted itself to her demands and yearned more for her touch. Grabbing what she could of Naruto's hair that he had cut to length of the regrowth of the shaved side, she whispered into his ear that he was a naughty boy and naughty boys should be punished before pressing his forehead against the hardwood desk.

She slapped his lower back with the meter stick with a rapid smack to his upper thigh forced him on to his tip-toes with his bum sticking up in a curve. Naruto felt his legs twitch in anticipation, and knees get weak. While caressing the meter stick across his vulnerable rear, she instructed him in the proper punishment etiquette.

With a snap of the meter stick against his covered bottom. a yelp escaped Naruto's lips before he rushed out, "One, headmistress. Thank you, headmistress."

The effect was electrifying as Naruto felt a tingle rush through his body from his toes to his head. His backside quivered along with his thighs. The burn below his navel throbbed made self-evident by the tension and friction between his skin and his tight boxer shorts. Furthermore, the burn in his calfs from being on his tip-toes was already getting to him, and they just started.

Naruto has had his backside beaten raw for more than his fair share of orphan matrons, nuns and foster parents, but it always made him more defiant. For some reason, everything about this situation was different. For starters, he liked; in fact, he wanted more. His body craved the attention from the headmistress in whatever package she delivered.

The dream would continue this way with him counting the number, but never actually remembering the number. Instead all of his attention was on his trembling body that kept heating up to a delirious state. When his dreaming body couldn't handle it anymore, he would wake up in a rush. All he knew was that somehow the headmistress would release all of the pent up tension that was building up in his body.

Thus, he craved to know what it was like nothing else, but he knew he could never talk to anyone about his delirious dreams. It was torment. A sweet torment that tantalized him in his dreams symbolic of the fruit that was so close but that he could never reach despite the immense hunger.

Some help his morning exercises were doing in distracting him from his odd dreams. Finishing his push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, jumping jacks, jumping rope and any other 'jumping up' exercise he could think of to distract him, Naruto began running his laps aiming for the closest thing to meditation he would hope to achieve. The feeling of the air rushing through his nose was the only thought in his head, and he loved it.

With an imagination and head that never stopped its incessant thoughts, a clear head was like water to a traveler lost in the Great Deserts of Wind. Furthermore, the running oddly enough allowed him to ignore his old friend known as pain despite probably causing its fair share. The only thing Naruto had to be mildly aware of was his footing because ever since the growth spurt started his coordination was shot to hell and was no better than a babe.

A loud alarm screeched through the clearing interrupting Naruto's beautiful run. With the world that he had been ignoring crashing into him, Naruto became painfully aware of his body's protests to his actions. He grabbed his awesome water bottle that kept the water cold for hours and poured it down his gullet. He had to start bringing an alarm to his morning exercise routine when he ran for far too long and pissed all of first period and was late to second period classes. This resulted in a meeting with the head mistress that Naruto would have rather avoided, but she suggested the alarm clock. Naruto, of course, dutifully obeyed, and, hell, it actually worked out. Turns out she was both smart and hot.


	8. Takes A Village

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER THREE: GROWING PAINS

TAKES A VILLAGE

* * *

'The world is turning to shit around me,' the Eighteenth and Twentieth Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi thought. While he was one of the youngest Hokages to ever take the hat, he was and has been for a few years now the oldest Hokage in office. Age brought experience, but it also brought fatigue and apathy. As the first Hokage to ever serve to separate terms, Hiruzen played a pivotal part in two of the bloodiest wars in Konoha's existence since the Turmoil of the Founding of the Villages.

The Hidden Village in the Mist continued to slaughter each other like sharks in their mother's womb for any perceived slight and bloodlust. The Fire Colonies that were established on conquered Land of Water isles had to be constantly reinforced in case the war was brought to the colonies. Also, the colonies could only take in so many refuges before the gates would have to be closed until the war ended.

Meanwhile, no one knew what to do with the refuges that were already on the other side of the walls. The solution involving the other four Elemental Nations sending token forces to quell the rebellions and reinstall the royal family onto the Throne of Water never went through for a variety of reasons starting with the family being taken prisoner and being executed via beheading in the Water Capital.

In the mean time, every individual that ever thought of being a pirate decided to come out of the woodwork and terrorize the seas in response to the Land of Water's navy being burned at port by rebels. The Land of Tea's navy couldn't compete, and the Land of Fire never properly invested into a navy. The Land of Wind's glorious navy refused to get involved with anything unless it occurred on their side of the Elemental Nations.

The Hidden Village in the Clouds and the Land of Lightning was suffering one of the greatest rice crop failures in their world-renowned terrace farms in their history. Unfortunately, their sheep would only last them so long. Meanwhile, the Land of Rice that supplied the staple crop was being torn apart from a miserable civil war in reaction to their Daimyo's continuous scheming, centralizing efforts and increased taxes. The Land of Fire continued their embargo against the Land of Lightning in response to their attempt at kidnapping the Hyuga Heiress as a bargaining chip raising the price of food for Lighting, while it has never been cheaper in Fire.

The Land of Wind could help with their vast supplies of grain from their fertile desert flood plains, but the Daimyo of Wind always worked in lockstep with the Daimyo of Fire. The Land of Earth couldn't help because their foodstuffs revolved around their vast herds of cattle, and beef required salt. The leading producer of salt was the Land of Wind, and the Daimyo of Wind placed a very pretty penny on his resource. Furthermore, the Land of Lightning couldn't rely on the seas because they were overrun with pirates.

The Tsuchidaime Onoki the Fencesitter who was as old as Hiruzen responded to the loss of the most recent Great War by practicing a policy of Inward Perfection that started and ended with isolationism just like the war-ravaged Land of Rain. The Daimyo of Wind in a recent dispute with the Kazekage Rasa of the Golden Sands further cut the Hidden Village in the Sand's budget and continued to rely on Hiruzen's services. If his sources were correct, then it resulted from Rasa's youngest child, Gaara's, lack of control of the One-Tailed Demon Tanuki known as Shukaku.

As it turned out, Wind nobles didn't like traveling through a desert to inspect the Hidden Village in the Sand to be accosted by a giant tanuki made of sand terrorizing the village. While Hiruzen knew that Rasa was completely dedicated to his village, the man did not act in its best benefit. It would be like if Hiruzen let his old friend, Danzo Shimura, run Konoha after the attack of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. He shuddered at the thought.

For starters, sealing the Tailed Beast into an unborn child still in its mother's womb could not have yielded fruition in the wildest of dreams. The child was born premature, and the mother died. It was a miracle the newborn didn't die within an hour much less survives as long as he has. Rasa continued to ruin the whole scenario by testing the tormented boy with tests involving assassins at the age of six when it became apparent that the seal was too weak.

Apparently, the Kazekage decided that he would just cut his losses by killing his youngest son and finding a replacement. Like the majority of Rasa's plans in the past decade, it turned into bloody heaps with a rampaging Tailed Beast once a month. Rasa saw his village on the verge of extinction similar to the Hidden Village in the Steam and decided to create the ultimate weapon to ensure his village's survival for generations to come.

Instead, he created the last nail in his coffin as far as Hiruzen was concerned. He lamented the loss of life that the whole situation would create but change was a monster dealt with in a hands-off approach. The only good of the situation came with him being able to shove Danzo's face into his plan of turning dear Naruto-kun into the ultimate weapon with a giant 'I told you so'. It was a shame that being right hurt so much though. The fate of the village on the boy was tragic to say the least.

This was the world that the Eighteenth and Twentieth Hokage of the Hidden Village in the Leaves of the Land of Fire, Hiruzen Sarutobi the God of Shinobi and the Professor, found himself in at the ripe age of seventy. Needless to say, this old monkey was ready for a replacement. His three students all turned into excellent soldiers that lead Konoha to victory in the last Great War.

Unfortunately, his prized protégé Orochimaru turned into a maniac obsessed with understanding the secrets of the world that didn't sound too bad until it required human experimentation to become immortal. Hiruzen had spent his times in retirement during the reign of Minato-kun routing every leftover cursed laboratory of his fallen student only to become more and more disgusted with each finding. With the attack of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, Hiruzen had to divert his attention from routing out his mistakes to running the largest Hidden Village in the Elemental Nation.

The Senju Princess, Tsunade, was unable to reconcile the death of her younger brother from an illness she could not heal followed by the death of her lover, Dan the Ghost, on the field of battle where she once more could not save his life despite being the greatest healer the Elemental Nations has ever seen. Instead of seeking comfort into her clan, she went across the Elemental Nations gambling and drinking her money away at every decent and indecent casino, sake den and yakuza den.

Jiraiya, his least-talented student and Konoha's foremost sealmaster, turned into the only decent individual of the lot, but history was a consummate trickster like that. As the Spymaster of Konoha, he continued to build and gather his information network that only he knew as a security caution. The Toad Hermit of Mount Myoboku, however, enjoyed the freedom of the road like Tsunade whoring and drinking the rest of his days away.

Irony would present itself once more. Out of all of his students, he needed Jiraiya the most. Hiruzen hated to admit it, but he had no idea what to do about Naruto-kun's dark secret. His current plan could be simply summarized as 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. In terms of specific Jinchuriki training, Hiruzen would be proud to be the first Kage in the Elemental Nations to have a Jinchuriki that didn't know he or she was a Jinchuriki.

In summation, none of his students could be the next Hokage nor wanted to be the next Hokage.

When the Seventeenth Hokage and his sensei decided to single-handedly combat twenty of Kumo's elite ARK fighters, his sensei decided to name him the next Hokage at the young age of twenty-two which he could with his war-time powers. Maybe, Hiruzen should pull the same stunt on some random chunin and see what happened.

Hah! The Hidden Village in the Leaves would turn into the Hidden Village in the Smoke, yet he managed to lead Konoha to victory through the war and in one piece. Everyone liked to be the critic, but he would like to see anyone so much as attempt to enter his shoes. Maybe part of the problem was that he wasn't willing to trust anyone with the job especially considering his successor and predecessor in Jiraiya's student Minato Namizake.

He didn't quit when he had to lead the Village in a Great War when he was young, and he wouldn't quit when he had to find another successor at his old age. As was typical of being Hokage, he never got what he wanted which was always conveniently best for Konoha and himself. Patience was key to everything in life.

What he wanted was Hizashi Hyuga as the next Hokage. He was the perfect fit made evident in his self-sacrificial solution to the crisis situation with Kumo highlighting the Will of Fire. Furthermore, as the twin brother to the Hyuga Clan Head, Hisashi, he was reared by the Hyuga Clan to have a perfect set of administrative, diplomatic and military teachings to strengthen his perfect Academic and Shinobi record. Instead, Hizashi was more than content to remain as the co-chief of Konoha's Military Police along with the Uchiha Clan Head, Fugaku. Apparently, Hizashi had a limit to the amount of sacrifice he was willing to give for the village.

Speaking of Fugaku, the Uchiha sure were a prickly lot. Granted their were a few good beans in the pot, the majority valued their prestige, dignity and honor above all else. This wouldn't be a problem, but Fugaku took everything as a slight. First being second to some Senju or Hyuga in the Academy that Hiruzen didn't remember followed by getting a sensei that wasn't as good as some other clan heir's sensei. As an adult, Fugaku hated the shared Military Police administration as an insult to the Uchiha clan. He saw Kakashi-kun coming back with Obito-kun's eye after the Great Skirmish that didn't evolve into another Great War, thank the Gods, as another insult.

The only thing that Fugaku didn't see as an insult was anything revolving the current Uchiha Clan Heir, Itachi. The boy was a true genius. The genius of his generation without a doubt that would lead his clan to great lengths. Furthermore, the boy burned with the Will of Fire and treated everyone as an equal member despite their upbringing. The ability to learn from one's parent's mistake at such a young age was truly amazing in a society filled with doing everything one's superior told them to do.

In fact, Itachi could very easily be Hokage given time. Although twenty-five years old to his twenty-two of becoming Hokage, Hiruzen felt he was still too young to take the hat and be taken seriously enough by everyone. At least, Hiruzen could stop listening to Fugaku's incessant bitching about everything. He was too old for hearing grown men moan and complain about everything.

None of the other clans had anything that truly stood out. The most recent Ino-Shika-Cho trio was a magnificent example of the potential of teamwork, but Shikaku Nara was simply not motivated enough to perform to his peak for the job. A true leader either needed to be motivated or disciplined, and Nara weren't disciplined by nature. The Inuzuka Clan Head was too fiery, the Aburame too uninspiring, the Senju too pompous, the Namikaze too desperate and every other clan head too lacking.

Horizon sighed and blowed out a cloud of smoke. The world was truly turning to shit around him. Turning around in his increasingly comfortable chair, he focused on the nearby Hokage Monument before looking at the Academy next door to see students slowly mill into the large building complex. Seeing a small blonde that couldn't seem to use his joints, Hiruzen smiled. At least Naruto-kun is finally growing.

He would have thought the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox residing in the boy's body would have done more to the boy and was more than willing to call Jiraiya at the first sign. Ready for moon-cycle howling sessions and fox transformations to growing a tail, ears and claws, Hiruzen's imagination ran wild. He might have been the longest living Hokage, but he never had to deal with a Jinchuriki other than beating him or her into unconsciousness.

Then, the boy had the audacity to grow up a normal child with a serious issue with authorities, the orphanage, the foster care system and an insatiable desire for attention either good or bad. Furthermore, the boy was not Academically inclined in the least to the point where people were questioning his judgment on allowing every stray from the street into the respected Academy System.

He was the Hokage. Who were they to question his judgment? Shaking his head of the thoughts, Hiruzen reminded himself never to let that thought outside of his mind, or everyone would throw a casket.

When one was used to fifty years of being in charge and the ultimate authority figure, the power corrupted, and he wasn't immune to the effects. Nonetheless, he considered the village his family where he was the father-figure or at times the grandfather-figure. This unfortunately had the effect of seeming over-patronizing in some regards, but sometimes his unruly kids needed to have an attitude adjustment. For others, they adopted a rather casual relationship with their leader which was both good and bad.

In Naruto-kun's case, he completely failed to instill himself as a leadership figure which was a troubling thought. Fortunately it seemed that Mizuki was able to instill into him a little respect towards certain individuals. It just so happened that Naruto-kun's loyalty and respect couldn't be bought by simply saying one's name and rank which was also both good and bad. Either way, Hiruzen had faith that the middle school headmistress would eventually get Naruto-kun's head on straight with her tremendous track record for setting unruly children straight. He wondered how she did it.

* * *

The middle school headmistress had a name. Korenao of the Ishida clan and firstborn of Sadatsune and Toshihide was her official name and heritage. She went out of her way to make sure that her name was mentioned as little as possible. Going out of her way, she only signed documents with an illegible signature, and the plague outside her office door only said headmistress. She would frequently start sentences with 'as the headmistress'.

As the eldest child of the clan, she would have inherited the clan if her parents didn't have a male child. According to her traditional clan views, the custom of primogeniture held that the firstborn male child would inherit all titles befitting the clan head and the associated power. As timid folk afraid to even touch the boat, much less rock the boat, her father and mother saw no need to change the rules. Fortunately, her little brother wasn't a complete imbecile and saw wisdom in keeping the status quo.

The damage had been done. Korenao Ishida was initially a spiteful creature that her teammates, friends and sensei would attest to without hesitation; however, time had allowed her to see other outlets. More constructive outlets to be precise. She would become the headmistress of the Shinobi Academy's middle school section devoted to educating aspiring Shinobi through their tumultuous years of puberty.

Her strained relationship with her little brother affected her view on the male race. She might not be able to put her little brother in his rightful place, but she could do so with the rest of the village's little boys. After all, the Will of Fire clearly states that everyone in the village is considered family, and it was her job to be the disciplinarian. Everyone needed their own spot in life, and she had hers.

Firmly believing that all children needed a stable and solid influence in their lives, she sacrificed herself in the name of this goal. There would always be a sense of order in the chaos of pubescent children's lives, and she would be the temple. However, she would not always be there for her charges; thus, she dedicated herself to ensuring that everyone that passed through her walls had a strong foundation to become a Shinobi.

Middle school graduation rates have never been higher in fifteen years. She was constantly the center of attention of the educational world across the Elemental Nations in both civilian and military circles ranging from elementary to professional schools. In other words, she was more prestigious and influential as headmistress than she ever could have been as the Ishida clan head.

The honorable Hokage-sama himself would routinely ask for her assistance and advise on a variety of topics concerning the educational system of Konoha. As it turned out, the Hokage-sama had an invested interest in the welfare of a certain little blonde miscreant with the name of Naruto Uzumaki.

The boy was the first son of a pair of two heroic Konoha Shinobi that managed to delay the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox granting the late Hokage Namizake-sama enough time to prepare for his ritual. As a result, the honorable Hokage-sama felt it was his duty to watch over the child as best as he could. As the Hokage, Sarutobi-sama simply didn't have the time to spare with rebuilding Konoha and raising a little child at his advanced age.

Furthermore, the Orphanage and Foster Care System was packed to the gills, and certain requirements and child-care standards were loosened and deregulated. The Headmistress understood this perfectly well as her attendance rates took a dip during the attack and shot up significantly as child recruitment rates skyrocketed in response to the attack. A lot of children hated the feeling of weakness and wished to improve themselves and Konoha as a result. The massive propaganda attack that followed by the Office of Recruitment didn't help either.

A notorious troublemaker with a disobedience streak as long as a shooting star cutting through every attempt of discipline and obedience like a knife through hot butter was one description of him that the Headmistress liked. Although the writer clearly had a flair for poetic language. He continued with describing the little demon as a maelstrom of chaos, apt for the literal translation of Naruto's first name, with the blonde as the eye of the storm.

The Headmistress, however, was not as poetic in nature. The boy was an attention whore. The strategy of appeasement was best told by the fable of giving the mouse a cookie. She had never been afraid of making the hard decisions in an increasingly liberal world. The fact of the matter was that somethings of the past were right, and some were wrong.

If it wasn't broken, then don't fix it.

With this in mind, the Headmistress had every attention of giving the boy the attention he craved. There would be a zero-tolerance policy which wasn't saying much as that policy already existed. The teachers would be forewarned of the boy's antics and lack of academic prowess. In turn, all missing assignments, below average grades and inappropriate behavior would immediately send the boy to her office where she would then administer justice.

As an aspiring Shinobi, he shall act as one. She would not have her track record sullied. Instead of being a plague on her existence, he would become a symbol of redemption. Also, she was more than willing to brag about it in her circles. Shoving it into Ebisu and his whole clan's snooty faces would be one of the Headmistress' happiest moments.

The Headmistress was successful because she kept real with the world around her. Never deluding herself with the noble ideas that surrounded her and people in her profession, she believed that every child was unique and required a unique solution. It was almost as if she treated children like human beings as if they could have feelings, emotions and self-awareness. In other words, she treated them like adults.

Too many people treated children as a group. They truly believed that all children were the same and that all children worked the same way. She, instead, treated everyone with the respect that everyone required. While she disparaged against men and boys especially, she didn't let her selfish ideas get in the way of progress.

What was she going to do with an attention whore that got more stubborn the more discipline was instilled into him? The answer was rather simple as one Mizuki made significant progress in truly transforming the boy into a semi-respectable member of society. After reading all of the reports, she came to the conclusion that the boy had never actually had someone to impress.

The honorable Hokage-sama refused to strain the relationship between him and the boy in the least. As a result, Naruto never had to fear disapproval. In terms of the boy's parental figures, he never truly thought of them as such, so he didn't care about their opinions or instructions.

Naruto, therefore, had a simultaneous desire for independence and for dependency. What Naruto wanted was an equal or at least someone who treated him objectively. He wanted someone to share his thoughts, feelings, successes and failures. He wanted to brag about his accomplishments and to impress someone. He wanted someone to be proud of him and his accomplishments.

Fortunately, Korenao of the Ishida clan and firstborn of Sadatsune and Toshihide was willing, more than willing in fact, to be that individual for Naruto-kun. The Headmistress was more than ready to have another obstinate little boy under her thumb to teach him his spot in the world. It was nice to have play toys fall into one's lap in this day and age, especially with toys of such exquisite quality.

The enjoyment that arose from forcing disobedient boys to obey only grew in the difficulty in the task. More than up for the challenge, the Headmistress had a feeling inside of her that this boy would be her magnum opus. She just needed to be patient; nothing was worse than letting one's latent desires foul up the plan for temporary pleasures.

Looking up from her parchment and pen, the dark red lips that contrasted against the alabaster skin and midnight hair smirked in evil delight. Immaculately manicured hands sealed the letter in the envelope. After all, Naruto was in a unique position as both an emancipated youngster and a ward of the village.

Thus, she needed to have an open line of communication with the honorable Hokage-sama himself in regards to specific disciplinary concerns regarding his charge. She just left out a few specifics of the methods used, but pleasure and pain did not have to be mutually exclusive. The Headmistress planed to make the most of the boy's three years under her care. Unfortunately, the pleasures that Headmistress Korenao subscribed to were both fleeting and delicate in nature.

It was a shame. Both her pleasures and the fact that this one psychiatrist that fled the bedlam in the Land of Water was correct in one of his assertions. Every individual is made up of both good and evil, yin and yang. He, however, attested that the goal in life was to make both sides work for one's benefit.

In other words, evil, too, can be beneficial if properly channelled. The trick lay in controlling the evil and not letting it control one's own self by letting the evil work in highly controlled environments. As an individual grew in age, experience and power, however, the control of the evil weakened through a lack of willpower and underestimating the effects of evil let loose. Hence, the classical story of the great man who fell from great heights by his own hubris had existed from the beginning of both oral and written histories.

The Headmistress simply needed to keep ever vigilant to ensure that her desires did not over take her logic, or all of her achievements would be overshadowed by a lapse in judgment. She worked too hard for the betterment of society and the Hidden Village in the Leaves to have all of her successes towards this goal to be ruined by her evil side's desires.

Just as the psychiatrist from Water stated in his theorem, both good and evil need to be satisfied in order for an individual to work at their full potential. This was why the path of the monk in ignoring and locking away the evil was fundamentally flawed and could only work in an isolated environment such as living in a commune at a shrine. Due to possessing an evil side that was only satisfied with a very peculiar stimuli, Korenao was very glad for her career choice in becoming the Headmistress. Like a monk, in that regard, she needed a very specific environment to work in to satisfy her dark side's needs.

Also, the psychiatrist defended that there was no shame in having an evil side because it was a part of the human condition. The Headmistress had no shame in her decisions because they all led into the betterment of society.

The real shame came in the sexual gratification.


	9. Making the Rounds

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FOUR: MAKING FRIENDS

MAKING THE ROUNDS

* * *

Setting his backpack under the cafeteria table bench, Naruto casually slide into the crowded table pushing two kids the other way.

"What's up, y'all!" Naruto shouted through the gaps in his teeth to make sure everyone at the table could hear him. "The name's Naruto Uzumaki and don't forget it. So, ya know, what's y'all's names?"

With the tact of a sledgehammer, Naruto introduced himself to the latest group that tickled his fancy. Over the past few weeks, Naruto continued to slowly and painfully grow, the bumps turned turned out to be this thing called acne, a few baby teeth fell out. Naruto decided that he wasn't going to let a few awkward voice cracks and spots on his face hold him back; instead, he was going to throw himself out there more than ever before.

After a few moments of silence, some of the other boys at the table started to introduce themselves to Naruto. In response, Naruto nodded his head and said cool, good to know, cool name and whatever bullshit he could think at the time. This table was one of Naruto's last to arrive at because everyone at the table just seemed so weird.

Thus, Naruto hatched from his cocoon and turned into a terribly awkward, annoying and obtrusive social butterfly. The results ranged from complete rejection to grudging levels of acceptance, so Naruto considered the whole experience a victory. Despite smelling, looking and feeling like complete shit, some people could stand to be around him.

"So, ya know, what's up with all the glasses?" Naruto felt the need to ask. Half of the kids at the table seemed to be wearing them, and the other half looked like they were the type of people who needed to wear glasses at specific moments. He never really trusted people who wore glasses. Why did they need them, and what were they hiding in their eyes?

One kid who looked slightly ill pushed his glasses up his nose, "Most of us, coincidentally, have some sort of vision problems, and glasses let us see clearly."

Oh, well that explained why people wore glasses. Huh, one learns something new everyday. He still felt like they were hiding something from him though, so he would have to keep a close eye on them.

"What are y'all's, ya know, hobbies 'n' stuff? Whatcha do in ya free time, ya know?" Naruto asked. He quickly learned that the trick was to always keep asking questions to keep everyone on their toes. Despite having no shame in sharing his life story, Naruto never did like answering personal questions. If he wanted to tell someone something about him, then he would do it on his own time and when he wanted to talk.

Some other kid who sounded like he talked from his nose decided to answer, "We like to get together to build and experiment."

"Read manga and watch movies," said another.

"Play board games."

"Strategy games, too, like Shogi and Go."

"Oh, that sounds cool, ya know," Naruto responded a little bummed out. While there was nothing wrong with their hobbies, there was nothing special in that. He wanted people to pull pranks with and spar with and hopefully help him with his Sealing Arts.

When Naruto was able to get his body in control after the first few weeks of school, he learned about the clubs and extracurricular activities that the Academy offered. To his surprise, there was a Sealing Arts club that he immediately joined. On top of that there was a competitive sparring club for kids to beat each other black and blue. In Naruto's opinion, nothing got the blood pumping in his heart and boiling in his veins quite like a good fight. It was his drug, and he loved it. The adrenaline rush couldn't be beat.

The problem with clubs was that the open-door policy that allowed Naruto to join in the first place turned off individuals of a more selective nature. In other words, the majority of clan members and civilian clans were too good to get into clubs. Instead, they devoted themselves to their clan stuff.

What clubs really turned into was a way for aspiring Shinobi without a web of connections resulting from one's last name to get together according to their interests. The competitive sparring club was a giant testosterone fight club with a few females that didn't mind some bloody knuckles.

Naruto loved the atmosphere, and the way that no one really cared about one's credentials but how well they performed in the arena. While there was no holding back once in the ring, everyone was super cool and nice outside of the ring except for a few individuals. Also, the older kids weren't complete jerks but helped out by giving pointers and advice. The other week this one dude who was trying to bring back to bowl-cut hairstyle taught him this sweet leg sweep to perform.

On the other hand, the Sealing Arts club was a room filled with loners who barely talked with each other. Everyone had their personal project that involved decoding or reverse-engineering some basic seal. Just like there were multiple ways to skin a cat, there were multiple ways to write a seal. The club mainly focused on compiling all the different ways to write a seal, and to study why each one works. Furthermore, the club tried to determine if there were any differences between the seals.

Naruto didn't understand the point of any of this because surely someone in Konoha way older and way deader had already done all of this. When he decided to share his logic, their strangely beady eyes made him look like an idiot. The answer to his question was of course. The idea was that one would do their research and then compare it to a professional's research.

He supposed that it was an interesting method to learning seals. The most excitement that any other club members showed was when he introduced himself as an Uzumaki. When he revealed the honorary nature of the name and later revealed his complete inaptitude with sealing, the club just handed him the beginner's packet. Naruto felt a little pushed away to the side and didn't particularly like that feeling.

His natural instincts were to raise a racket to get everyone's attention, but he didn't want to risk getting kicked out of the club. According to the Headmistress who he had to have weekly meetings with as part of his educational rehabilitation, the sponsor for the Sealing Arts club was a real hard-ass. The sponsor was some big shot in one of the multiple branches of Konoha's Applied Research facilities who was determined to make the Sealing Arts into a Sealing Science.

The dude even wrote out his vision for the future of the Sealing Arts in Konoha in a mission statement for the club. From what Naruto could read from the statement was that this guy did everything in an orderly and methodical way that would probably drive Naruto up the wall. Nonetheless, even Naruto knew about the impossibly esoteric nature of the Sealing Arts. One of the big mysteries of the known world was the depth of the Uzumaki clan's knowledge.

Unfortunately for archaeologists and aspiring Sealing Masters, no one could understand ninety-percent of the reasons why the Uzumakis did what the Uzumakis did to create their seals to do what their seals did. Thus, this one guy's approach to decoding the mysteries was to be handled in a controlled and observable environment. The key to science was the ability to recreate any theory or experiment under the exact same circumstances. The same could not be said about the Sealing Arts.

From what Naruto could hear around the club when the older members would meet, there was an upcoming problem. The giant and elaborate Uzumaki Seals that adorned the walls and gates and defenses of Konoha and key Konoha buildings were weakening and deteriorating every passing year. The same problem had been occurring throughout the Uzumaki ruins which archaeologists dutifully copied to the best of their abilities. Unlike a bunch of destroyed buildings, these seals were attached to functional buildings that needed to work in case of attack. The tallest tree in the forest is the first to be cut down, and Konoha was the tallest tree of the Hidden Villages. Konoha managed to have this level of superiority through a variety of competitive advantages, of which, the Uzumaki played and still play after their untimely demise in terms of Konoha's defense.

Another issue with the Uzumaki is that they never felt the need to record their thoughts, actions or recipes. As a result, no one even knew the appropriate mixture for the sealing ink itself. No one knew the appropriate level of chakra. A few scientists hypothesized that Uzumaki seals were structured to only react to the special chakra that Uzumaki possessed. Naruto wanted to immediately call bullshit because he was under the impression that all chakra was the same. Fortunately, a member of the sealing club straightened him out on that matter. As it turned out, chakra had a ying, a yang, an elemental affinity, a shape affinity, a bloodline affinity and probably some other stuff too dealing with resistances to various chakra poisons and chakra affinities.

Also, due to the fact that no one fully knew the meanings of all the features in an Uzumaki seal, a special chakra might just be the key. The Uzumaki Clan might have written such information down somewhere, but not a useful scrap of paper was found once Konoha actually arrived to bloody scene. The Uzumaki decided to burn all relevant documents in their dying moments, and Konoha killed the surviving invaders with extreme prejudice when they did arrive.

The only information that the Uzumaki etched into granite and marble was a giant family tree, and a few giant pieces of art in the shape of the Uzumaki symbol. Naruto supposed that was cute and all for people with families, but there were more important things than families. For instance, the other people living in the same world like Naruto.

Whatever. Just because Naruto was gifted with their last name didn't mean that everything revolving some extinct clan, no matter how great, was his problem to deal with day and night. He had his own real and living problems to deal with, and this Uzumaki business was someone else's business. The big shot scientist planned on rectifying this mistake by having all future seals to be meticulously documented rather than having a clan filled with mad Sealing Artists running around doing whatever they wanted without thinking about prosperity's sake.

For starters, Naruto was still learning the very basic fundamentals of the Sealing Arts. Despite his hopes, Naruto did not magically just see a seal and miraculously solve all of the mysteries in the universe. What a waste of a dream. He could have been dreaming about the Headmistress again.

Their meetings were unique to say the least. One of their first meetings didn't really go the way he dreamed. Instead, she mentioned that his teachers were worried about his constant requests to use the bathroom. It wasn't his fault that all of the food that the Akimichi nutritionist picked for him gave him the worst gas. He was just following Mizuki's advice and releasing the tension in the bathroom.

The whole conversation was exceedingly awkward and embarrassing for Naruto to tell the woman of his dreams. Despite the delicate nature, she did not make fun of him or patronize. She simply indicated that for every problem there was a solution. In Naruto's case there was already a solution discovered. As it happened, he wasn't the only individual with this problem. It just usually occurred in members of the older community.

A visit to a pharmacy that Naruto would only visit for the sole purpose of buying some incredibly embarrassingly named over-the-counter medication proved to be the solution. It was odd how the Headmistress treated him. He treated him like a normal human being, and he loved it.

Naruto would frequently just talk to her about his problems, thoughts and dreams. In fact, Naruto was treating her like he would how he imagined a best friend would be treated. The more they talked; the more Naruto trusted her.

The only part of the relationship that Naruto didn't like was the one-sided nature. He just wish that he could reciprocate with advice or anything that would help her. The problem existed in the simple fact that she didn't need any help. If she wanted or needed something, then she needed it.

After the meeting where she broke his innocent in regards to birds and bees, something inside of Naruto awakened. He discovered that his smoky and murky views of the fairer gender coalesced into a greater understanding that he liked girls in a different way than he liked boys. The whole situation with the genders was very complicated and gave Naruto a headache.

In Naruto's opinion, whenever a complex issue reared its multiple heads, the solution was to just go with his guts and instincts. The trick was not to overthink a complex issue. This mentality just as frequently failed as it worked, but at least it didn't give him a massive headache and the same results. The real issue, though, was in the Sealing Arts club where he had to write down every last thought that crossed his mind. He didn't quite realize how overactive his mind was until he started actually writing them down.

Speaking of which, he totally zoned out from the conversation with his newest group of potential friends. They were speaking about some special game. He think it involved a specific strategy to try out. This group was a bunch of thinkers when he was an action-er, if that was a word. He had nothing wrong with these guys, but their voices had too much nose or too much slobber.

He wanted to recommend that they all ate and worked-out a little bit more. They had the weak body type that he used to have before his body revolutionized itself.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing with us?" one of them asked him.

Breaking Naruto out of his thoughts, "What's that supposed to mean? I mean, like, ya know, what?"

Another one said, "You're always hanging out with the cool kids. You're like the most popular kid in school with being friends with everyone and all."

Naruto was taken back by that observation. He didn't really have anyone he would truly call a friend, so he couldn't be considered popular. In fact, Naruto didn't understand anyone as popular or the cool kids. Everyone had their own group of friends. As a result, all that mattered was that you truly had friends in one's selective group. If nothing else, Naruto was a loner or a vagrant that drifted between groups hoping to find one that he fitted.

"Ummm, I'm afraid I don't really know what you mean. I'm just looking for people, ya know, that I can, ya know, relate to and stuff like that," Naruto replied while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"You were sitting with all of those clan heirs and members of the main houses the other week!" another retorted.

"So?" Naruto questioned.

"Before that there were the civilian clans."

"And the week before you were with those sketchy kids from the hood."

"You were even with those scary kids who don't even talk to anyone."

"I mean, yeah," Naruto responded to this weird outpouring.

Yeah, he knew people, but that was the whole point of meeting with everyone. Naruto had this weird ability to put names to faces. The problem was when Naruto didn't remember someone's name; he was completely unable to remember the name.

"How do you do it?" one of the four-eyed boys said with a hint of hero worship.

"I just do it, ya know, just sit up like I did with y'all and, ya know, introducing myself," Naruto answered.

A few of them gasped out loud with various levels of amazement. Naruto didn't quite know how to feel about these guys. It's like they were afraid of getting to know other people outside of their group, but they were self-aware of the situation. Everyone was afraid of getting to know people outside of their comfort zone, but most wouldn't or couldn't admit it. Naruto, on the other hand, didn't have anyone in his comfort zone, so everyone was in his comfort zone.

If Naruto wanted to finish his lunch, then he would have to start eating. Opening his lunch bag, he started to shovel the assortment of Akimichi nutritionist-approved food. Looking up back at the table in response to the lull in conversation, he temporarily forgot his manners and talked around a mouthful of food, "Something wrong?"

"How do you eat all of that?"

"I'm literally starving at all times of the day, ya know, so I eat as much as I can whenever I can. The Akimichi dude I visit tells me what to eat, ya know, so I just eat it," Naruto explained.

"That's amazing," one explained, "I can barely finish one of my meals."

"Hey, now, I used to be the same way, ya know, but ya just have to keep going at it," Naruto offered. "Now-a-days I can't stop shoving everything in my mouth. Enough about me, anyhow. So, what courses are y'all good at?"

After it became apparent to Naruto that everyone at the table was more than adapt at their studies, he decided to ask about their participation in clubs. Apparently, there was a club dedicated to something called engineering which they explained was a bunch of applied math and science, specifically mechanical physics. Everyone at the table was in the engineering club, and the shogi and go club that was dedicated to strategic thinking.

Naruto could never do any of that, so he felt completely mystified by how amazing it all was. On the other hand, they were all amazed by his interest in the competitive sparring club that was dominated by a bunch of 'meatheads'. What really threw them for a loop was the membership in the Sealing Arts club. He tried to explain to them while eating why he was interested in at, and the difficulties he was having.

At least these kids were a sympathetic lot. None of the clan kids would show a modicum of understanding. They all had something to say along the lines of welcome to my world. What would they know of personal dedication to a particular field of study that required significant investment of mind, body and soul to achieve just a modicum of power? Some kids were just too spoiled by their last name.

Naruto's basic understanding of kanji and math were holding him back. The group of engineers and shogi players were really nice because they even offered to help Naruto with some of his problems. He felt bad because he didn't really have anything to reciprocate the deal. It was just the same as his relationship with the Headmistress in that regard, and Naruto hated it. Nonetheless, Naruto wasn't going to turn away an open hand of friendship and help. He would just have to pay it back three fold when he could.

"Are you, ya know, not going to finish your meals?" Naruto asked befuddled. He was still hungry, and he just ate what felt like a small pig. "Wait! Don't throw it away! I'll eat it for ya."

Gathering everyone's leftovers and shoving it into his mouth, Naruto took out a napkin and wiped his face, "I have an idea guys! Let's get together sometime this weekend and have some, and y'all can help me with a problem I'm having with my Sealing Arts if ya want. Oh! Also, I might have a few class questions, ya know, if ya wanted to help with that too it would be so cool. I mean I go to the teacher, ya know, but sometimes they just say the same time thing, ya know, and that just doesn't really help in the first place, ya know?"

"Where would we meet?" a nervous member of the group asked shifting his hands in his lap.

"I don't know. Where do y'all usually meet this weekend?"

"We could go to the pavilion near Sato Square like we always do. Usually the older kids don't bother us, and the place is covered," the leader of the group said.

"What do you mean the older kids bother ya?"

"For some reason, other kids like to bother us and pick on us," one of the more wimpy kids said.

"That's fucked up," Naruto succinctly announced, "Ya just have to get more powerful, so they can't push ya around. There is strength in numbers, ya know."

Before anyone else could say anything, the bell rang throughout the cafeteria. The group promptly said their goodbyes and power-walked away. They were definitely a weird lot in Naruto's opinion, but they seemed to have good hearts. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered. Plus, they seemed like they would genuinely help him with some of his Academic problems. Too few people in this world actually helped their fellow man without coercion or some form of payment like a job.

Naruto just needed to find a way to repay them somehow.

He would just have to let an opportunity to present itself. Throwing the inedible parts of his meal away, he swung his backpack over his shoulder and marched to his Chakra control class.

Nothing made his day better than utterly failing at everything. The poor teacher tried her hardest, but nothing seemed to work. According to the Headmistress, they were going to run a few tests on his Chakra network and bring in a specialist to help him.

He wondered where his old friend, complete and utter failure, went off to lately. Naruto was worried that his newest friend, constant and never-ending pain, took her spot. Now, he has two friends instead of one. A boy could only be so lucky.


	10. A Friend in Need

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FOUR: MAKING FRIENDS

A FRIEND IN NEED

* * *

Carrying two massive tomes of knowledge for kanji and mathematics, Naruto drudged himself away from the Sealing Arts club. He attempted to enter his first research project into the most basic of seals, the seal of seals, the seal that sealed, with the usual gusto of diving in heads first. The ink on the parchment blew up in his face, and the parchment started to catch on fire.

As it just so happened, the combination of the wrong ink, wrong parchment, wrong seal, wrong kanji and wrong mathematics did not make a Sealing scroll. Unlike other disciplines that all claimed to have a foundation but actually had multiple foundations, the Sealing Arts had a singular foundation in the Sealing scroll. All seals for one reason or another required a Sealing Seal. The problem existed in the unlimited amount of ways to make a Sealing Seal because only one's imagination limited the potential of the Sealing Arts.

For the next club meetings, Naruto would be dedicated to improving his mathematics and kanji until he could pass a test that the student club leader administered. According to the leader, it was the same test given across the Research and Intelligence divisions to determine if any member had a particular proficiency for the Sealing Arts. The idea was that if one couldn't pass the test, then one couldn't be worthy for the Sealing Arts.

Naruto took it as a challenge and would overcome the obstacle. He would just need some help, and fortunately he just meet some guys his age to help him with the problem. He just needed to make sure that he phrased the plea for help correctly.

It was okay to ask someone to help teach you; it was not okay to ask someone to do the work.

Walking down the hallways surrounded by rows of lockers, Naruto hunted for his to put up his books and take the ones that he probably needed for his homework assignments. The teacher and the Headmistress tore him a new one when he didn't do one of the assignments. It wasn't his fault! He just forgot to bring the textbook he needed to do the problems out of yesterday. He invented the perfect solution - just bring the entire set of textbooks home.

Shutting his locker, Naruto noticed one of those dudes earlier at the lunch table. Maybe he could sucker him into doing their homework together which would mainly be him asking how to do half of it. One of the teachers said that the best way to learn was to teach, so really he was doing the guy a favor. About to wave and give a holler, a group of older students blocked his view by surrounding the dude.

Naruto narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Why would four-eyes know all of these older classmates? During lunch the dude looked like he would melt into the bench when Naruto decided to visit their table. Oh, look, a puppy! Naruto had a feeling the school policy was against bringing pets to school unless they were a part of the Inuzuka clan.

While he didn't have the best track record with animals, he still liked cute, adorable and fluffy animals. Walking towards the group to wait his turn to talk to 'I actually have a lot of friends', Naruto hoped he could pet the puppy. Some Inuzuka were real ornery about the whole thing, but some were cool with it too.

That thought ended real quick when one of them pushed four-eyes against the locker. It even looked like the dude got his back stabbed with the lock that could hurt like a bitch. It happened to Naruto the other day when a group of kids who could only walk in horizontal lines through the hallway pushed him into his locker on accident.

"You thought you were so smart? Didn't you? By making me look a fool in class," the taller one said

"Yeah, a real nerd," the other said.

"Did it feel good teacher's pet?" said the last one who felt the need to get his word in the conversation.

"I-I-I was just trying to help," four-eyes said trying to curl up into himself.

"Oh, really now? Well, I hope you don't mind if I help you out. You know. To return the favor so to speak," the leader of the pack announced grabbing his glasses and holding it above his head. "The way I see it you need to be taught a lesson in learning your place, 6th grader. You see, just because you're so smart that you got placed in a grade above you, doesn't give you the right to take your pointy little nose out of your books. Lucky for you we are here to teach you a lesson in humility you apparently never learned."

Naruto felt the blood boiling in his veins. He was about to get into a fight with three opponents that each could beat him individually for the sake of some relative stranger who didn't deserve his fate. Naruto hated people like them - people who thought that they could take advantage of others because of a difference in power. This was why everyone had a ruler that was needed to prevent everyone from acting like a bunch of brutes.

Someone needed to teach them a lesson that they couldn't pick on people just because they could. Fortunately, Naruto-sensei entered the building.

Building up to a full-blown sprint, Naruto took off his heavy backpack and swung it with all of his might to back of the leader's head. Strategy of cutting the head off the snake was a go. Feeling the vibration of contact through his arms, Naruto let go of the backpack to carry his body's momentum in a punch straight into one of the lackey's faces. Keeping the momentum in his body, Naruto swiveled on his heel and brought his other leg up into the air to kick the other goon in the face.

With the three enemies temporarily disabled, Naruto grabbed the nerd's glasses out of the air like a total badass and yanked said nerd out of his frozen spot. Shoving the dude forward and bending down to grab his backpack in a flurry of motion, he yelled out to run. Noticing that the recently-acquired four eyes wasn't running fast enough for Naruto's taste, he grabbed the boy by the wrist and half-dragged and half-ran through the deserted hallways.

The commotion of threats and curses echoing throughout the hallway spurred Naruto onward despite the guy's complete inability to keep up with the previous pace. This dude seriously needed to work on his calisthenics. Turning at the nearest T-intersection, Naruto dragged him and his new friend into the nearest bathroom.

Odd. Where were all of the urinals?

Catching his breath with his hands on his knees, Naruto broke out into full-out laughter. With a giant smile revealing a few missing teeth, Naruto stuck out his hand for a handshake. Receiving a timid shake, a small smile and a realignment of the guy's glasses, Naruto reintroduced himself, "Hey, you looked like you were in need of help, so there I was to save the day."

With a small chuckle from the remnants of the adrenaline rush, the boy introduced himself, "I remember you from lunch. My name is Ryuzoji. Ryuzoji Sanenori. It's nice to see you again, but maybe you should have just let it be."

"What do ya mean?" Naruto asked befuddled. He just totally saved this guy's ass.

"They were probably just going to copy my homework or something, but now they'll be jerks for the rest of the year," Ryuzoji said staring at Naruto's feet.

"That ain't right, dude. It's your hard work, not theirs. Plus, they weren't going to leave you alone anyway even if they copied your homework," Naruto was starting to get annoyed with this guy's lack of a backbone. Some people were just way too meek.

"But you don't have class with them for the rest of the semester, and the semester just started," Ryuzoji explained in exasperation.

"Just go to the teacher or the Headmistress even to stop them from bothering ya," Naruto said, "It's like their jobs to stop this kinda shit."

"I guess," the boy mumbled. Naruto suddenly realized that Mizuki was right on calling him out for mumbling. It looked pathetic.

"Look, I was just wondering, ya know, if you would want, ya know, to do our homework together, if ya want," Naruto stumbled over his words lamely. "And who knows, ya know, help with some of my Sealing Arts stuff too, if ya want."

"Hai," the boy answered immediately. Was this dude serious? Was he not even going to think it over or debate the matter? Maybe he just needed a pep talk.

"Awesome! I sure showed those idiots who was boss, hah!" Naruto bragged trying to lift this guy's spirits. Instead it had the opposite effect judging from four-eye's scared reaction. He even trembled a little.

"I don't think so," growled lowly a voice behind him. Naruto turned his head over his shoulder cautiously to witness the older classmate with two Inuzuka tattoos and his friends flanking his shoulders.

Unable to even mutter a curse, the Inuzuka knocked him across his cheekbone with Naruto turning with the momentum to land a counterattack. Instead, he was pushed with a surprisingly amount of strength into Ryuzoji toppling the frail kid over. Who the hell pushed people? Was this elementary school? The Competitive Sparring club would frown upon this fighting style.

"Here, kiss your boyfriend blondie," the Inuzuka snarled. He was lifted by his heavy backpack straining his arms backwards before being slammed into Ryuzoji's face. Due to the flash of pain from his forehead, Naruto couldn't keep his backpack from being taken off his body by stretching his arms at an awkward and painful angle.

The upperclassman grabbed what he could of Naruto's short-cropped hair dragging him across the bathroom floor, "You dumb fucking idiot. You think you could hide in the girl's bathroom like the fucking pussies you are. Here's a wakeup call. I'm an Inuzuka. You couldn't hide from my nose in your greatest of hopes."

Almost ripping one of the commode doors open, he dragged Naruto before the toilet and kicked his knees out. "Dumb fucks like you need a special lesson, and I'm in session."

Holding Naruto's head right before the toilet where his nose almost touched the water, he continued, "Should have taken a lesson from your boyfriend. Now learn your lesson, you little fuck."

Snapping the blonde's head back first, the Inuzuka jerked Naruto's head straight into the bowl of toilet water hitting his forehead against the ceramic increasing the pain in his head despite the water buffer. Naruto scrapped for purchase on the toilet seat with his fingernails to push himself off, but the Inuzuka tsked and grabbed both of Naruto's wrists in one hand with the other clenched around the back of his neck.

Yanked back, Naruto took a large gasp of air letting some of the toilet water in his mouth. "Lesson one, dork: swirly."

"Fuck you!" Naruto screamed in outrage. He wouldn't passively take this bullshit.

"You're a special kind of stupid, but that's okay," the bully announced. "I'm here to teach you how to respect your superiors. You're lucky day."

Dunking Naruto's head back into the toilet, the Inuzuka called for one his buddies to take his and Ryuzoji's belts off. Struggling more against the perverts, Naruto was quickly running out of breath and subsequently the strength in his muscles. In a weird set of flashbacks to a time in third grade, inspiration struck Naruto like a light bulb.

While his belt was sliding out his pant's loops, Naruto focused deep within his stomach feeling an oddly familiar power. The Inuzuka quickly fastened his belt to his wrists. Concentrating the forces together despite the pervert's roaming hand lifting his school uniform shirt and jacket to flirt with the seams of his pants and underwear, Naruto let out a giant fart filled with three meals worth of beans, eggs, cheese and those giant-ass vitamins.

Naruto felt a swelling of pride with his ability to follow the advice of some of the greatest sages of all time. The ability to turn an enemy's greatest strength into a weakness. The Inuzuka were renowned for having one of the strongest olfactory senses in the world, but Naruto frequently wondered if that was a blessing or a curse. It mattered not because Naruto was sticking it to the man. Also, Naruto hadn't ripped a fart that long and hard and proud in a while. What was really amazing was that someone could feel such a great amount of pride while smiling inside of a girl's restroom commode.

Flushing the toilet while holding the blonde brat down, the Inuzuka quickly reached back to the 6th grader's boxer short's waistband before the fart could finish ripping and screamed, "Wedgie!"

New to a wedgie, Naruto quickly learned when his orange and green fox-foot print boxer shorts were pulled up to the bottom of his shoulder blades. Naruto couldn't help the feminine screech that ripped out his throat from the pain. His balls were being crushed by the pressure in the front, and the friction of his boxer's seam ripped up his crack. Clearly, the fart didn't have the desired consequences.

While maintaining his grip on the punk's boxers, the bully ordered one of his comrades to give him the nerd's belt and keep him still. The other bully was told to hold Naruto down. The Inuzuka's voice sounded muffled like a piece of cloth was covering it.

"You think you're so clever," the Inuzuka announced. "Now I'm going to make you my little bitch."

Naruto's tormenter stepped down on the newly created gap between his Academy pants and boxers forcing the pants down to his knees on the bathroom tile floor. At the same time, he tugged once more reaching his boxer's to new heights. With Naruto's mouth still open in another screech, the Inuzuka dunked the boy back into the toilet giving a feral grin at the sight of the bubbles rising to the top.

The leader of the group of upperclassmen continued to bounce Naruto with his jerky pulls of the blonde's boxers. The jerks frequently forced Naruto off of his knees causing his whole weight to put pressure on his boxers making the wedgie even worse.

Naruto felt beyond humiliated. It was mortifying. His pants were on the floor. His face was drenched in toilet water. His boxers were nothing more than a glorified thong showing his ass. He was literally hanging at the mercy of another.

Furthermore, due to Naruto growing like a weed recently, he decided to buy looser garments with room to grow into. As a result, the newer boxers that he was currently wearing were a little baggy. In other words, there was plenty of fabric to be stretched out.

The Inuzuka gave one more dunk and flush before focusing all of his efforts on the wedgie. "I'm not stopping until this wedgie goes super, but, first, a few curls to get in an exercise."

The bully used the nerd's belt to wrap around the thong part of Naruto's boxers that reached up to his lower back. Stepping back from the blonde, the Inuzuka pulled Naruto back by his boxers causing him to slide across the floor of the bathroom and rolling his pants to his ankles. After telling one his compatriot that wasn't keeping the nerd still to watch out for anyone, the tormenter flipped Naruto on to his stomach and stepped over him to have one foot on each side of his shoulders.

Then, the workout began. The Inuzuka pulled up with the belt in perfect curl form with his elbows locked at his sides. Naruto meanwhile couldn't put up a fight with his oxygen levels still low, the excruciating pain in his ass and his arms belted behind his back to the point where he couldn't even reach his boxer's shoved up said ass.

The upperclassman continued to use Naruto as his personal weight steady lifting and lowering him up and down from the women's bathroom floor by his boxers with his face still dripping wet from the toilet water. All Naruto could do was grunt in exhaustion and humiliation. Worst of all, Naruto was starting to develop the bane of all boys going through puberty.

The awkward boner reared its head.

The constant pressure from the wedgie and being lowered to the floor caused an uneasy sensation for Naruto's innocence. Furthermore, Naruto found that if he closed his legs in clenching motions, then he experienced rather strange and pleasant sensation to his member. The more Naruto squeezed his inner thighs to the part of his body that was being squashed by the wedgie the greater the pleasure.

Naruto quickly became numb to the world around him and focusing on the otherworldly sensation he was creating. He had never felt this addicting sensation beforehand. Parts of his brain were lighting up, while others were being muted. For instance, the part that signaled that he was about to piss himself was being ignored.

Suddenly, he gracelessly dropped to the ground due to the Inuzuka finishing his impromptu workout session. Announcing that it was time for the super wedgie, the upperclassman started his work. Throwing the unfastened belt to the side, the bully placed his feet right above Naruto's shoulders and pulled with a surprisingly large amount of force.

Naruto could hear the stretching of the fabric of his relatively new boxer shorts. His body arched against his consent as his ass started to stick up into the air while his upper body remained glued to the floor. The sound of ripping fabric was far too close too comfort to Naruto's ears. Undeterred, the Inuzuka continued pulling until he got the partially torn off waistband around Naruto's forehead.

Here Naruto was with his boxers wedged up his ass all the way to his forehead while lying prone in the girl's restroom. His pants were around his ankles. His arms tied with a belt behind his back. His toilet-drenched hair soaked through the remnants of his boxer's upper fabric. The orange fox-foot prints padded across the green background of his boxers from his ass across his back and up his head. Furthermore, Naruto managed to get into a state of arousal by the whole thing because of the simple fact that pressure existed on his prepubescent member.

In other words, he had never been more humiliated in his whole life. If Naruto were a lesser person, then he would have been crying in shame a long time ago.


	11. Is a Friend Indeed

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FOUR: MAKING FRIENDS

A FRIEND IN NEED

* * *

"Have we learned how to respect our elders, punk?" the Inuzuka said crouching before Naruto's face that was arched above the floor due to his boxers pulling his face back.

He might have won, but Naruto had no intention of giving the douchebag the pleasure of surrender.

"Playing tough, huh," the Inuzuka scoffed. "I think it's a little late for that anyway. Well, that's okay. We can have some fun with your boyfriend in the meantime."

A feeling of guilt and shame washed across Naruto. Perfectly willing to face the consequences of his own actions, he didn't want to see other's suffer because of his actions. He could barely even anticipate the consequences for his own actions because he frequently acted on impulse. He couldn't possibly begin to start hypothesizing and theorizing the affect of his actions on others especially since Naruto was a generally solo player.

Despite these feelings, Naruto passed the point of truly caring enough to beg. First of all, the bullies would follow through with it anyway. Second, misery loves company. Lastly, Naruto placed guilt on the nerd for putting them in this position in the first place. He knew he was being petty and wrong. Yes, his actions resulted in the situation escalating to a point that exceeded any of Naruto's wildest exception, but if Ryuzoji stood up to them in the first place, then none of this would have happened.

The leader of the pack sat on Naruto's back increasing the bow effect of his rear and head to look at his peer's work on the nerd. Currently, the four-eyes was receiving his own special wedgie. Granted it wasn't as good as the one he pulled on blondie over here, but no one was quite as good at giving wedgies like he was. He learned his fair share in the Inuzuka Clan Compound as a pup. He merely shared the wealth of knowledge around to the unenlightened masses.

To be honest, he expected a little more resistance with the blonde at the moment. His friend was getting a massive wedgie, and he wasn't even saying anything. The Inuzuka considered himself fairly well versed in people, and this was not the reaction he was expecting. Where was the squirming? Where was the pleading? The whole point of loud-mouthed blondes who didn't know how to mind their own business was the fact that they routinely put their foot into their own mouth.

Instead, the idiot was being passive-aggressive about the whole thing and sulking. Wait, what was that movement? Looking at the other side, the lynchpin noticed that his most recent victim was squeezing his legs back and forth. What the fuck? Was this fucker about to bust a nut on him?

The Inuzuka leaned over to look at the boy's face that was facing the ceiling in an awkward position to discover the little brat's constipated-looking face. Holy shit. This was seriously happening. He was definitely not dealing with this.

"Hang 'em up boys," he ordered. "We're bailing."

In a rush of motion, the Inuzuka grabbed Naruto's boxers and unsnapped them from his forehead causing Naruto to hit his head against the floor. The headache was not going to go away any time soon. Grabbing Naruto via his boxers, the leader of the posse opened a commode door and hanged Naruto by his boxers against the hook for backpacks. While Naruto has made some improvements in the height department, his feet were still dangling from the ground by a good two feet. This of course brought the full weight of the wedgie onto his tortured rear.

Walking over to the neighboring stall door where the nerd was also hanging by a wedgie, he got back on track to the original matter at hand, "I'll be expecting those answers to copy for every homework assignment. You hear me four-eyes? Thirty minutes before school in the courtyard, and you better not pussy out."

He already had to get up early for various clan chores anyway, and dogs had a tendency to wake up at the first sight of daylight.

"And you, you little shit stain. If I see you causing me trouble or interfering in anyway, swirlys and wedgies will be the least of your concern. I'll make your life a living hell. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in a fucking grade above you. And news flash bud, I can make everyone in my grade want to turn you into their own personal little bitch," the Inuzuka threatened. "So learn your fucking spot in life and stay there."

Taking a step back to address both of his beautiful creations, "Now, let's be perfectly clear. There will be no tattletales; there will be no crying to anybody. This is fucking middle school, so get with the program or get the fuck out. Use those balls that may or may not have dropped and be a man about it and be cool. No one wants to be around a bunch of little pussies who can't take what they dish out. We're rolling out, boys."

Naruto wasn't in disagreement with the Inuzuka's little speech. Nobody wanted to be friends with a tattletale or someone who couldn't roll with their own punches. After all, Naruto was the one who kind of assaulted them from the very beginning. However, if the jerk thought he wasn't going to get some sort of revenge for this humiliation, then the Inuzuka had another thing coming.

Hanging from his position, Naruto decided to do a quick test to see if he could make the situation a little more comfortable with a squeeze of his thighs. Ah, that was the spot.

"Hey! Stop doing that too. It's weird as fuck. Just jack off like everyone else," the bully demanded.

What was this guy's deal? He wasn't doing anything illegal. "The fuck is jacking off, ya jackass!" Naruto decided to scream mostly to vent his frustration with the whole situation.

Naruto's anger and nerves weren't ready for the peel of laughter coming from the gang of bullies. "Ha! So this is what it feels like to teach the youth. Just put it in your hand and rub it out while thinking of a girl's tits and ass," the Inuzuka said with an interesting hand gesture near his privates.

A dark red blush started to stain Naruto's cheeks at the mere thought. Those thoughts always made him feel uncomfortable. This whole get-together was far more educational than it ever needed to be. He didn't really need to learn what a swirly or a wedgie were nor how they felt from personal experience.

"Peace, dorks," the Inuzuka said waving his hand over his shoulder with a bark of laughter.

Naruto turned his head to face the wall in thought only to be met with his and Ryuzoji's reflections from the mirrors. Just fucking great. He could both witness and feel the humiliation now. His hair and face still had toilet water dripping off. His arms were tied behind his back with his own belt, and his pants were on the ground. His boxer shorts were nothing more than a very painful cup that left nothing to the imagination.

"You owe me big time, Ryuzoji," Naruto stated to the nerd's reflection in the mirror unable to make actual face-to-face contact.

"Hey, I didn't need you to-," Ryuzoji objected.

"Oh now we're growing a backbone," Naruto interrupted. He was totally not in the mood for any attitude. Yes, he knew he fucked up. No, he didn't need this nerd back talking him at the moment. The pain was as strong as ever; he was just becoming best friends with the pain like he did with his continued growth spurt. Sometimes pain was good. Wedgie pain, however, was not good.

Deciding to switch the conversation to a more productive use, Naruto asked, "What's the plan to get out of here?" It seemed like this kid has been in a similar situation before judging by his rather nonchalant attitude.

"I just wait for someone to come in and get some help," Ryuzoji answered.

"The fuck is wrong with you? If you haven't noticed, we are in the girl's restroom! We can't let them see us like this," Naruto shouted. "If anyone hears about this, we're dead meat. No one will talk to us again without being the laughing stocks of the school."

"You could try to get your underwear to rip off," the nerd suggested.

That actually wasn't a bad idea.

"How do we do that?" Naruto asked.

"Well, I can't do it because my underwear doesn't rip easily, and yours is already torn in the back," Ryuzoji stated. "If you bounce up and down, then it should stretch the fabric more."

That was a terrible fucking idea. It was the bounces and the jerks that hurt the most, and Naruto wasn't about to voluntarily cause more harm to himself. Unfortunately, it seemed that he could live the rest in abject humiliation or give himself a wedgie so hard that his ass tore his underwear.

"You're going to be helping me everyday for the rest of your life for this," Naruto announced. When it looked Ryuzoji was about to say something, Naruto turned his head to the side to glare at him. It didn't really mean much from his position, but it shut the nerd up. He was not about to take any sass right now or ever from this kid. Then again, no good deed goes unpunished.

This was just great. He was going to use his balls that just recently dropped and get them out of the situation with as much dignity as possible by crushing his balls. He took a nice hard look at himself in the mirror. He needed to remember this moment for posterity's sake as a motivational tool.

Speaking of which, Naruto really needed to step up his leg day workouts. His legs looked like a set of chopsticks. He was also spending way more time inside then he was used to judging by the pale tone of his legs. He liked the tan he got lazing out by the community pools. Getting back on track, he looked over at his wedgie partner, "Seriously? Whitey Tighties? What? Are you like five?"

"They keep everything together," the nerd mumbled. That was a good point, but that's what Naruto loved about boxer shorts. They let everything hang out and keep relatively cool. Plus, there was nothing better than the feeling of having one's junk fling back and forth during jumping jacks. The feeling always managed to make Naruto laugh.

At the same time, when Naruto did his handstand exercises, his athletic shorts and boxers would frequently come too far down and reveal his junk to anyone that went to his training ground. The image of seeing himself walking around on his hands with his junk out also always brought a laugh out of Naruto. He didn't get the chance to enjoy a good laugh much nowadays, so he was going to take it whenever he could.

Really getting back on track this time, Naruto swung his legs backward slamming the commode door against its hinges. Using the door as a launch pad, Naruto squatted causing a bigger wedgie to push off and up. The brief respite of not having his boxers up his ass was not worth the excruciating and sharp pain that came upon landing. Naruto couldn't help another screech, and the belt held his hands back from grabbing his nuts in commiseration.

He also heard the ripping sound of fabric, and it felt like he was hanging closer to the ground. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only sound that Naruto heard. With his mouth still open in a screech, Naruto looked towards the door of the bathroom to see two girls loudly gasping and covering their mouths in shock from what they were witnessing.

Both of the girls quickly went back outside the bathroom in a flash of long blonde and pink hair. This day couldn't get worse.

"I'll go get help! Just hold still. My friend will make sure no one else goes inside," one of the girls yelled from the open crack in the door.

The day got worse.

Naruto tried to yell no, but his voice cracked and all that came out was a giant squeak reserved for small furry animals.

"Don't worry! I'm leaving now," the same girl announced and closed the door.

After some mumbling outside the door, Naruto assumed the silence meant that one of the girls actually left to go get help. Hopefully, he wouldn't know the adult and really hoped it wasn't one of the teachers he had or would have. Naruto just wanted to disappear or go back into time right before his decision to attack first and ask questions later. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble by not getting the hero impulse and saving the friend in need.

Staring at himself in the mirror, Naruto burned the image into his brain. Although in reality, the majority of staring involved lengthy and surprisingly critical observations of his physique. Of all the times Naruto could have been doing this, he decided now was the perfect time. To ignore his internal thoughts, Naruto decided that starting a conversation with his friend might be best.

"You want to just go to an empty classroom after this to do the homework," Naruto asked in the silence. Naruto found that thinking about the next move was always better than focusing on the present.

"I need to go back home," Ryuzoji said staring at the ground. "My parents don't like it when I arrive late."

A frown crossed Naruto's face. Parents were always a sore topic with him, but in this case they were really getting in the way. Ryuzoji seemed to catch onto the mood and quickly said, "You could meet up with some of the guys from the lunch table at the pavilion on Sato Square. Usually, a few of them who live nearby meet up there to do homework and hang out."

Why didn't anyone ask for him to join at the lunch table? He could have avoided this whole mess if he knew that. Well, looking back on the conversation, they did invite him but for the weekend only. His impulsive attitude really fucked him up here, but his blood was boiling at the sight of a wimp getting ganged up on. This would be a lesson he would not be forgetting.

Leaning back with a sigh to express his exasperation, Naruto's boxers gave a rip lowering him in a jerk making the wedgie worse. Suddenly, the girl's bathroom door opened, and three guys entered. The middle one had the same two Inuzuka red fang tattoos on each cheek. Naruto was starting to see red and getting really pissed off. Why the hell did they come back?

"Wow, dude, back up with the glare," the Inuzuka announced as a little white puppy popped out of his jacket to look at the scene. Okay, this was clearly not the same Inuzuka. The newest Inuzuka that Naruto had the pleasure of meeting moved forward looked him up and down to bear witness to his sad state. "Man, they got you good. Even added a swirly at the same time."

"Get. Me. Down," Naruto said through grinding teeth.

"Hey, hey, no attitude, now, princess," the Inuzuka said casually. "Nothing wrong with admiring a nice work of art. Who's the artist?"

"We didn't exchange names," Naruto hissed, "but he was in your clan."

"Oh, that must be why Hiroharu was laughing like a goon with those two blowhards," Kiba announced unbuckling the belt around Naruto's wrists. "Don't worry about him. He's done my friends and me a good one like you a few times. Guy's got the biggest superiority complex."

With his hands freed, Naruto grabbed the top of the commode door and lifted himself up making all of those pull-ups worth something. Kiba in the meantime unlatched Naruto's boxer's waistband from the hook on the door. Landing on the floor in a crouch, Naruto grabbed the thong part of his boxers and yanked a few times to take out the wedgie. The backend of the boxers were torn leaving a huge gap revealing his bum to the world. Naruto couldn't care less and let out a sigh of relief before pulling his pants back up and putting his belt where it belonged.

"Oh, by the way, I'm Kiba. My friends here are Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi," Kiba announced.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki and this is Ryuzoji Sanenori," Naruto greeted happy to be over with this torment. "I'd say it's nice to meet ya and all, but, ya know."

"Totally understand dude," Kiba replied all smiles. "No worries by the way. This can be our little secret. Like I said, we've all three had our fair share."

"Hey, didn't you sit at our lunch table once?" the fat one named Choji asked after helping Ryuzoji down with Shikamaru's help.

"Probably, I've been making the rounds," Naruto answered. He jiggled his hips a little. It felt like he was going commando in the back and wearing underwear in the front. Also, a perfectly good pair of boxers was ruined.

Throwing his arm around Naruto's shoulder, Kiba said, "Hey, dude, let me make it up to you for my cousin's asshat behavior. We're having a little get together this Saturday with some kids in our grade at my place. If ya wanna come over, the party starts at 6. We'll have dinner and snacks and stuff. You should come. It'll be fun, promise!"

Naruto nodded his head, "Sure, sounds like fun, ya know. How aboutcha Ryuzoji?"

"Oh, I don't know," he muttered. "I'll have to see."

"No worries dude," Kiba said. "Just come over when you can."

Naruto had a hard time believing that Ryuzoji would be making it to the party. After everything that just happened, Naruto couldn't find it in himself to care that much. Also, he just got invited to his first party! Hosted by a bunch of super famous and super large clan kids meant that the party was going to be off the chains.

Before any of that started though, Naruto went over to one of the sinks and dunked his head under the water faucet. He heard from somewhere that the same water used for showering was used for the toilet which in this scenario was a good piece of trivia to know. After wiping his face down and continuing with some small talk, the five boys left the girl's bathroom.

Opening the door, the two girls with long blonde and pink hair were still standing outside. Oh, shit, he had forgotten about them and was hoping to never have the pleasure of meeting them again. Kiba pushed himself past Naruto bumping shoulders and started to introduce everyone.

"I can talk for myself, Kiba," the blonde said with a swirl of hair for emphasis. The girl looked like a real piece of work in Naruto's opinion. "I'm Ino Yamanaka and this is my friend Sakura Haruno."

Sakura gave a small wave and a little hello which was kind of cute if you were into the cute and shy type. Naruto couldn't make eye contact with either girl in embarrassment, so he just scoffed the ground with his shoe and mumbled out a hello.

The Ino girl crossed her arms, "You know that the proper thing would be to say your name. It's almost like you don't want us to know your name. Why would that be?"

"Oh quit torturing the dude anymore, Ino," Kiba spoke up.

"Pshk, boys," Ino snorted. "I'll have you know that I've caught these three in far worse and far more embarrassing situations. These three somehow manage to get on everyone's nerves. Kiba's obnoxiousness makes everyone want to muzzle him, Shikamaru's laziness pisses off anyone that actually has to work for what they have; and poor Choji is so nice that it makes people mad that he is so nice. There you go. Now, what is your name?"

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki and this is my friend Ryuzoji Sanenori," he announced trying to exude an aura of self-confidence by meeting her in the eyes, straightening his back and speaking clearly. Naruto knew it didn't make a lick of difference, but it was at least worth the try.

Ion gave a smirk and said, "See that wasn't so hard. Nice to meet you Naruto Uzumaki and Ryuzoji Sanenori. Now the real question is how the two of you are going to repay the two of us for rescuing you damsels in distress."

"Uh," Naruto said lamely. He had absolutely no intention of doing anything. He just wanted to put this whole thing behind him, "Thank you?"

Ino snapped her hips to one side and started tapping her foot to the ground. Naruto was really not in the mood for the attitude, but he could be bitchy too.

Entering into a deep bow with his hands to his side, Naruto said, "I am forever in your debt, Yamanaka-sama."

Before Naruto could even straighten his back, Ino replied, "That's a start, but I was thinking of having that debt repaid."

Suddenly, a loud noise rumbled behind Naruto, and Choji patted his stomach. Gaining an idea, Naruto said, "There's an all-you-can-eat buffet nearby we could go to, and I'll get your meal in repayment."

'They could even call it a date,' Naruto thought sarcastically.

While Naruto could hear Choji and Kiba nodding their heads vigorously in agreement, Ino felt the need to voice her objections, "And why would I want to eat there? I already have to spend far too much time already watching these boys stuff their faces."

"Oh, stop being so troublesome woman," Shikamaru said. It was the first time Naruto had heard him talk, and it looked like the effort was about to make him collapse onto himself. "You can just order a salad and soup like you always do, and Naruto can buy your meal."

Flipping her hair, Ino said, "Fine! But everyone needs to eat like they're at least human beings."

"I'm sorry, but I really should be getting home," Ryuzoji added. "It was nice meeting all of you, though."

"Me too," Sakura added. "My parents worry too much if I don't make it back in time."

"Fine, fine, be good," Ino said. "Catcha later Sakura. You still owe her a meal though Ryuzoji. I'm not letting you off of the hook."

With that, Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji and Ino were off.


	12. A Snake in the Paddy

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FIVE: A SNAKE IN THE GRASS

A SNAKE IN THE PADDY

* * *

A young woman was running down a ruined road in a state of complete disarray. She was clutching a child no more than three years old as emancipated as herself to her bosom. In the background, pillars of inky smoke drifted into the sky marring the sun's light. Fires could be seen dancing across buildings. Blood dripped down one of her legs with a puncture wound bubbling up fresh blood and forced her to run with a hobble.

A dart flew through the air hitting her in the throat. The woman felt her body go numb, but in her last moments of control she ensured that she fell on her back to not squash her own child. A figure emerged from the underbrush clad in all black. Her whole body was panicking but refused to move except for her eyes that widened in fear.

The figure was no more than four-and-a-half feet tall and continued walking towards her and her child. She wanted to yell for her baby boy to run as fast as he could, but he continued to hug her back sobbing for her to get up. The androgynous figure made a few hand signs and tapped his hand to her child's forehead causing him to fall unconscious on her back.

"Do not fear," the pre-pubescent boy's voice said. "The child is asleep."

While that was very good news, she was still scared beyond belief. What did this demon-boy want from her and her baby boy?

"My master thanks you for your service," the boy stated. She didn't have time to even think about the oddity of the statement because a kunai was implanted through her eye and into her skull.

Systematically, the boy went about removing the kunai, cleaning it on his victim's dirty and torn dress and stowing it back into its holder revealing his experience in the matter. Next, he raised her body by the lower back to unroll a scroll with a black tie underneath her. Stepping back with the child, he made a hand sign which caused chains of black kanji text to wrap around her body. In a poof of smoke, the body disappeared, and the scroll added a few scripts of kanji.

Placing the scroll against a part of his belt with another hand sign, the scroll soon disappeared as well. The boy picked up the still unconscious child and ran through the underbrush in the opposite direction of the burning village.

* * *

A relatively tan and tall man with his long brown hair tied into a tight ponytail observed his surroundings. Taking a few notes with his pen and clipboard, the man stepped over another sore-covered individual. The disease was remarkably effective in its mortality rate. It was truly amazing.

He took a closer look at one individual who seemed to have attempted to claw his own face off judging by the claw marks and bloody fingertips. He took a note. The disease exhibited extreme pain in its subjects.

The village was rather obscure in the Land of Rice making it the perfect experiment, and he had to make do with the limited resources that he had. The plague had to be carefully transported from the Land of Lightning where it seemed to have originated. This also made for the most interesting thing to happen in the Land of Lightning for about two centuries in the epidemiologist's opinion.

He bore witness to the plague during its infancy, but the Lightning Daimyo and Raikage quickly quarantined every hint of illness. The borders were shut tighter than a Daimyo's daughter's snatch. When the Land of Fire caught wind of the events, the embargo caused by the attempted kidnapping of the Hyuga heiress went into full effect with the army stationing itself along the borders. Nothing was allowed from the Eastern half of the Elemental Nations.

Instead of attempting to understand the plague, the meatheads of Lightning decided a policy of quarantining and burning every infected village or town whether or not the people were alive or dead. How was he supposed to find an individual with a genetic immunity? How was he supposed to find a carrier of the disease? How was he supposed to actually understand the disease?

He was an epidemiologist; it was in his job description.

All that he could divine from the plague was that it infected the rice supply. Humans would then consume the infected rice. Humans would then exhibit vile boils all over their body, while the rest of the body would literally die. The skin would fall off, and the muscles would degenerate. The bones, however, were not affected in the least. It truly was fascinating.

He had the distinct privilege of linking the carrier of the plague to the rats that frequently plagued rice storage facilities. Then, he linked it to a very specific and very peculiar breed of rat. A breed of rat that wasn't even native to the Land of Lightning. In fact, the breed of rat wasn't native anywhere. It was genetically spliced.

In other words, the rat was breed in a lab fashioned with a specific genome. This was most fascinating. This factoid implied that an individual both created this plague and created the carrier for the plague.

He assumed that the rat's genome allowed it to survive for a longer-than-usual period of time. The evidence existed with the fact that the man-made rats died at a later period of time to their non-genetically-modified counterparts.

Flees were another concern for the epidemiologist, but it seemed that the bloodsuckers didn't last but a single day. That fact forced him to take a few notches off of the creator's credentials. If he could have engineered a carrier flee, then the disease could have very well jumped to all sorts of species of animals.

Nonetheless, an epidemiologist took what an epidemiologist could take which was why he was most cross with the authorities of the Land of Lightning. He couldn't study this work of art with the overgrown ape's strategy of burning everything like a force of lightning and the roar of thunder. The whole thing was so contrived in his opinion.

This plague opened up the flood doors for the field of epidemiology. It was beyond fascinating. The level of skill required in such a variety of fields from gene splicing to toxicology to zoology to botany was mind-boggling.

He was only able to smuggle a few crates of the plague-carrying rats across the border with the help of this Orochimaru figure. At least somebody understood the true potential of this most fascinating event. Another oddity was that all of the specimens were male, yet the plague wasn't transmitted through semen or testosterone.

Instead, the rat ate some rice and would later defecate. The defecation was the key to the whole plague. Literally, rat shit was the answer. Thus, somewhere in the process of digestion to rice would become infected. How fascinating?

He tried experimenting with both other foodstuffs such as fish and grain, but the disease did not pass. He found that individuals that ate the other not-so-infected foodstuffs developed a minor immunity when he feed his unknowing volunteers later with infected rice. It seemed to have only prolonged their suffering before they died.

At least, the peasants were able to do something with their miserable lives. No creature was as could as a peasant. A field is useless until the peasants come. Without a field, what use the peasants?

Furthermore, the march of science shall not be hindered by the shackles of ethics by the weak-willed an those unwilling to accept change. The evolution of mankind required sacrifices by both the educated and the uneducated.

Another setback was that the offspring of an uninfected female and an infected male had extremely short lifespans that could only be counted in weeks. The offspring were unable to reach breeding maturity making them unable to pass on the appropriate genes. As a result, he was running out of suppliers of infected rat shit. How unfortunate.

He was running out of test materials and had plenty of volunteers scattered across the war-torn Land of Rice. This would be one of his last tests before he joined a few of his colleagues that worked for this Orochimaru. It was unfortunate they didn't have the fortitude to test out in the field but preferred the sterility of a lab. Oh, well, both the lab and the field had their uses.

This particular test involved infecting the non-rice foodstuffs of the village for as long as he could with the foreign-bred rats. He also specifically made the delivery of the contaminated feces to the food to the mouth of the peasants as soon as possible. The goal being to make the non-rice foodstuffs as potent as possible.

None of the villagers exhibited any symptoms of the plague and were boil free with their skin still on.

Next, he contaminated the rice storage with delayed and dried rat droppings from the offspring of an infected and non-infected rat. The goal being to make the rice foodstuffs as non-potent as possible. Unfortunately, the immunity built previously was not enough as everyone was clearly dead.

These test subjects, however, did last the longest. Hence, the first time he had seen someone claw their own face off. He would have to personally thank Orochimaru and his henchmen for ensuring that no one made contact with the village in the meantime. There was nothing worse than an experiment that got out of control.

Going from establishment to establishment, the epidemiologist made sure to do his due diligence. Every good scientist made sure to note every last detail to ensure maximum efficiency. It was always the little details that solved the large and complex mystery.

Also, he liked to see all of the home remedies that peasants attempted to concoct. Who knows? Maybe they would have created a cure for remission at least. At least those peasants didn't just smoke some incense and hope for a better reincarnation like the majority of their kind.

He himself attempted vaccinations with different potencies of the contaminated rat defecations on unknowing individuals. It only made the disease infect the body quicker. How fascinating.

Entering one of the last households on this side of the village, he heard a most unusual sound. It was a distinct suckling sound emanating from upstairs. It was too early for any animals to set in yet especially since he had Orochimaru's henchmen clear the forests out.

Furthermore, the henchmen had explicit instructions to remove all creatures of the undead variety. He had no interest in ghouls, alghouls, grave hags or any other variant of corpse-eaters violate his experiment. Studying these monsters was always a complete waste of time. They were a giant pain in the ass to properly collect research from, and their stomach bile were stronger than the most putrid forms of vultures. If anything, corpse-eaters were Nature's way of stopping the spread of diseases.

What else could be making the suckling sound if not some bone-marrow sucking monster? Curiosity wasn't killing this cat.

He pulled out a kunai, popped open a vial and oiled his weapon. Any field scientist that wanted to last longer than a rat's lifecycle became acquainted with the basics of self-defense. It also gave him a better appreciation for the true masters of Samurai and Shinobi. Granted, the only thing he knew about Shinobi were the Chunin Exams. Even he, the greatest of epidemiologists could enjoy mass entertainment involving mere kids fight potentially to the death.

He became further interested in the Shinobi craft because any true scientist became very friendly with their own chakra network. Neither healing nor surgery could ever be as precise as healing or surgery abetted by chakra. For instance, no scalpel was as sharp as a chakra scalpel. His other hand wielded a chakra-conductive scalpel glowed a pale green with the intention of taking the situation into his own hands if necessary.

Taking a deep breath through his medical mask-covered mouth and nose, he calmed his body. In a surge of motion, he pushed the partially closed bedroom door open and made the complete motion to throw the kunai. He never released the kunai because there was no bone marrow-sucking corpse-eater.

There was a baby. A living baby suckling its dead mother's mammary ducts. How fascinating! The mother obviously died from the plague judging by the sores covering her rather nude state. She must have died recently.

If he was a more emotional individual, he might have written off the mother's relatively long life expectancy especially weakened by her recent birth as the power of love. The power of love keeping an ill mother alive to give nourishment to her newborn child. How quaint.

How foolish of him. He had written off the babe as a future stillborn. What was he thinking! He was so worried about the last of his original and mixed rats dying that he didn't consider the obvious potential. The mother must have given birth before he started feeding the village the contaminated rice but after the contaminated non-rice foodstuffs.

The fetus as a result developed a natural immunity to the disease. Or at least, this was his initial hypothesis. The scientific model revolved around the ability to recreate results in the exact circumstances, but unfortunately, he was all out of the necessary rats.

This baby was the key and the lock to understanding the most fascinating plague that had ever graced the Elemental Nations. It was a shame he wouldn't be able to create anymore of the baby's mother's milk for infected nourishment. After all, mother's milk helped build tolerances, so surely infected milk for at least a partially immune baby would further develop the young one's immune system.

He just hoped that the baby wasn't alive just because it hadn't eaten any infected rice. That would really take the wind out of his sails. He needed to research this immediately to determine the cause of the baby's suspected immunity.

Who knows? Maybe it was the milk that would give the immunity, and the immunity wasn't developed in the womb. He doubted it, but science would soon educate him.

He let the baby finish suckling, while he went back outside and shot a flare into the sky. Receiving the signal, Orochimaru's muscle arrived to begin storing the rest of the village into corpse-sealing scrolls. This was the best batch of specimens, yet. Also, he couldn't leave any evidence that explained the other henchmen dousing the village in oil and hay.

With the now sleeping baby firmly loaded in a baby-carrying backpack device he found in the same house, he began his trek back to his own personal lab. Well, the lab that Orochimaru had moved to the man's own laboratory.

From what he heard as lab gossip, Orochimaru himself was a rather dedicated researcher in various fields of scientific study. It would explain why his lab was actually properly transferred and set up without much incidence. As typical of Shinobi involved in science though, this Orochimaru was obsessed with bloodlines, but that didn't surprise him in the least.

The epidemiologist only missed the independence and solidarity of his own lab, but he would admit to enjoying the conversation of his peers. It was so rare to find other members in the scientific community willing to make the necessary sacrifices needed to lead the march of science. Evolution should be encouraged, not held back.


	13. A Snake in the Water

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FIVE: A SNAKE IN THE GRASS

A SNAKE IN THE WATER

* * *

"Your Daimyo has failed you. Your Kage has failed you. Your Clan has failed you," Orochimaru's top recruiter said for what felt like the two hundredth time.

The young boy looked up from his cup of rice that the recruiter had given him in shock and awe. The seven-year-old child was a bloodline user who managed to escape his clan's massacre with his three year old little brother in tow.

At least the rhetoric he was accustomed to was working. He was a little outside of his comfort zone because he usually recruited in rooms filled with dozens of disenfranchised individuals. Nonetheless, Orochimaru-sama himself tasked his best recruiter with the task of going to the Land of Water to recruit as many bloodline users as possible with diplomacy. Of course, if he failed with words, he would give the signal and one of Orochimaru's kidnappers would go to work.

The Demon of the Mist, Zabuza Momichi's, rebellion for the title of Mizukage had resulted into open clan warfare. This bloodline-related clan had actually sided with the residing Mizukage unlike the majority of bloodline clans. In response, this particular clan's rival bloodline clan decided to preemptively slaughter all of them in true Mist fashion.

The whole situation was a complete disaster. The current Mizukage was attempting to reform the Village Hidden in the Bloody Mist into the Village Hidden in the Mist. Somehow, enough people were against the idea of not killing every other child to have an open rebellion.

Well, no one was actually fighting for or against the reforms. Zabuza was a power-hungry child-slaughterer that wanted the power for himself. The bloodline clans wanted more powers and authority that had been slowly slipping out of their hands by the near dynastic nature of the Mizukage title.

While it wasn't odd for the previous Kage's apprentice to take the title, Mist made it a three century long tradition. And like water wearing down a rock, so were the Mizukage's in their attempts of centralizing the power of the Mizukage. This, however, created a powder keg ready to explode, and Zabuza's thirst for the power lit the fuse.

With chaos in the ranks, everyone who had the slightest grudge against another decided now was the perfect opportunity for vengeance. Clans slaughtered rival clans. Scorned lovers killed exes. Legendary swordsmen assassinated legendary swordsmen.

Nothing bred opportunity like chaos, and Orochimaru-sama never missed an opportunity. The Great Snake had his fangs in all of the happenings in the Elemental Nations. Growth required fuel, and chaos fueled Orochimaru-sama's. If he and his fellow recruiters performed adequately in Water, Lightning and Rice, then Orochimaru-sama would fulfill his goal of creating a legitimate organization in the way of a Hidden Village.

Granted, the legitimate organization would be a cover for all of Orochimaru-sama's other pet projects ranging from drug trafficking to unethical scientific experimentation. Orochimaru-sama was a man of many talents like that. The recruiter was not naive enough to believe in the propaganda he was spewing which gave him a notch up above his peers.

His speeches were actually directed towards himself who had to see the good in what he was doing. He knew that Orochimaru didn't see the value in another human's life. The Snake only saw value in one's usefulness. He rewarded those who were useful, but he didn't waste resources on those who didn't become useful in a quick fashion.

Fortunately for everyone involved, Orochimaru was able to play the long game and saw potential in many. According to Orochimaru and his own speeches, everyone had a role in life to fill, and everyone would have the role they wanted instead of the one dictated by birth in their organization. Their organization was a meritocracy where one was only judged by their abilities, talents and skills.

Also, everyone would have a place. No matter how unskilled or untalented, there was always a need for the potential recruit. Orochimaru-sama took the unwashed, unmannered and unwanted masses and made them useful. So long as one worked up to par for Orochimaru-sama, there would be a bowl of food, a cup of sake and a roof of thatch.

"Join me. Join my master's side. Join and together we will all walk side by side to a better future," the recruiter continued. "There is nothing left for you and your brother here in either the Land of Water or the Village Hidden in the Mist. I offer you a full stomach, a wet mouth and a warm bed. I offer you training in the Shinobi Arts that you could never have achieved in this backwards village. I offer you the ability to reach power beyond your wildest dreams to make right the wrongs committed against you. All you have to do is swear your unyielding loyalty to my master."

"But I don't even know your master!" the boy shouted in a hushed whisper. Good. The boy was convinced but was merely looking for any point of contention. What did they say in Water? Hook, line and sinker?

"Take my hand. I will show you my master, and the future he has planned for us," he answered. The hand was necessary for the recruiter to effectively transmit the hallucinatory genjutsu.

The genjutsu revolved around showing a happy setting involving food and warmth followed by it being taken away by the affected individual's enemies. Next, a shadowy figure in the shape of Orochimaru would offer what the individual wanted to make their dreams, usually of revenge, come true. In a finale, the genjutsu would show the affected individual's dream coming true with the indirect or direct assistance of Orochimaru.

The whole genjutsu made the recruiting process almost child's play. Unfortunately, the technique required a surprisingly large amount of time which soaked up a large amount of chakra from the recruiter. Thus, the process could only be used sparingly, but a recruiter needed to talk to dozens of individuals at the same time.

Orochimaru-sama needed people by the dozens in a quantity over quality methodology. The recruitment policy, however, works more on an ad hoc basis as the situation required. For instance, he was here in the ghettos of the Village Hidden in the Mist recruiting the last remnants of a few slaughtered bloodline clans.

His rival recruiter, unless his task had changed, was going around recruiting individuals interested in the disease rampaging the Land of Lightning's rice crops. If news from his most recent assistant from the Narrow Straight was correct, then his rival made a major steal with one of the world's most renowned epidemiologists.

As a result, he himself needed to make some major finds in Water. He wouldn't be out-shined by some hotshot; he had pride in his work after all.

Speaking of his assistant, he needed to get her to escort the boy and his younger brother out of Mist and out of Water. Orochimaru-sama had a lucrative trade partnership with the Gato Shipping Conglomerate. Gato's ships would traffic Orochimaru's drugs, pleasure slaves and personnel that required certain levels of discretion in exchange for a rather hefty share of the cut and transport protection.

While definitely above his pay cut, the recruiter imagined that the moment Gato loses his usefulness or becomes the least bit replaceable, Orochimaru would have him gone without a second's hesitation. Then again, better the devil that one knows. Also, Orochimaru and his fledgling organization desperately needed Gato's services at the moment.

If Orochimaru's organization could be compared to any other, then it would be the Yazuka in the recruiter's opinion. It was ironic in the sense that the Yazuka was originally formed to protect the rights of the unprotected merchant and trader due to the law passed by the Daimyos banning all weapons out of the hands of Samurai or Shinobi. Furthermore, the Daimyo viewed the nobility as greater than the warrior class as greater than the peasant as greater than the merchant. In fact, the Daimyo viewed the merchant as a necessary evil.

Orochimaru-sama was simply taking the Yazuka full circle in his ouroboros-obsessed fashion with his alliance with Gato. An actual merchant that moved goods from various locations across the Elemental Nations with ties to an illicit organization providing the drugs and protection. It was the dawn of a new age for criminal activities in the Elemental Nations, and all it needed was the mind of the smartest of the Legendary Sannin.

* * *

Golden snake eyes drifted across the misty landscape. The Village Hidden in the Mist was built on a treacherous and rocky terrain with tall but thin mountains surrounding the village. Water collected in the mountains, and the rivers crisscrossed the village.

To capitalize on the little land available, Mist's architecture composed of tall cylindrical buildings in the middle of the city with buildings of similar design but smaller stature reaching out to the cliffs of some mountains. Compensating for the lack of traversable terrain, the village built vast stone walkways that resembled aqueducts linking the majority of the village.

The tropical and humid nature of the geography lent Mist dense jungle growth despite the rocky soil. The love for nature seemed to have influenced the natives even more as they had massive gardens and trees on top of their buildings. Even the roof of the tallest and largest building, the Mizukage Tower, had what appeared to be a giant greenhouse on the top.

The city had immense fountains, waterspouts and waterfalls built all around supplying the airwaves with the constant sound of falling water. Vegetation grew in every crevice of the city that wasn't well used by the villagers. The majority of buildings and walkways had various vines and flowering plants draping down the sides all the way into the lower levels of the city.

The multiple levels to the city were an interesting facet for Mist. There were three main levels. Each level housed a specific culture and group of individuals. The higher the level; the higher in station one was. This had the added bonus of further segregating and discriminating the populace.

The Land of Water and the Village Hidden in the Mist was an amalgamation of different peoples. The Land of Water stretched as an archipelago and series of barrier islands that stretched around the Eastern and Southern part of the Elemental Nations. Since the dawn of writing, each island clan grew up separately with a unique culture, unique abilities, unique governance and unique religions.

Various leaders sought to unite the disparate people as one in the same fashion as the Continent. The process was slow and required patience, time, silver tongues, military might and administrative genius. Each island clan conquered their neighbors to grow stronger. Then, the strong island clans would attack their new neighbors.

The clashes, battles, naval engagements, treachery, alliances and stories were the greatest tales of legends of all of the Elemental Nations. The resulting state named as the Land of Water was highly decentralized with the ruling clan maintaining an army equal in strength to the combined might of the vassal clans. To this day, a few of the ruling clan's vassals viewed themselves as allies like in the day of the Warring States Period.

It was this potpourri of people that currently had the golden snake eye's attention. When the water in the harbor rises, all of the boats rise. Unfortunately, some boats sank. In the case of Mist, all clans, bloodline or not, increased in strength and power by sharing just a fraction of each clan's independent knowledge.

Some clans, however, could not live in civilization.

Another body soared from the middle-tier roadway with a giant bone spike piercing the majority of the defender's torso. All around the Village Hidden in the Mist skirmishes occurred in a dance of bones. The Kaguya clan was invading.

They should have been immediately repulsed by the defending Mist, but Zabuza's struggle for power left Mist weak and open to attack. Rather, than join Zabuza's side like the majority of the bloodthirsty clans, the Kaguya decided to tread their own path. They were going to rule Mist singlehandedly as their heavenly ordained rights as the descendants of some Goddess or another.

The Kaguya clan boasted the bloodline ability known as Dead Bone Pulse. They had the unique ability manipulating their own skeletal structure to harden and grow their bones as some of the most deadly weapons in the Elemental Nations.

A long serpent's tongue flicked out and licked the heat of the air before wetting its own lips. Orochimaru was ecstatic. The windmills of change were blowing in the wind, and he was at the epicenter to bear witness. The Kaguya clan invaders were massacring everyone in sight as the loyalist Mist defenders retreated or were cut down leaving behind the defenseless civilians.

Orochimaru had already sent to bulk of his henchmen to the Kaguya clan's village. The children and women would need to be collected so that he could personally continue the bloodline and continue his bloodline experiments. Bloodline clans in their arrogance were halting the next explosion of scientific discovery since the discovery of genetics.

Orochimaru would not let this travesty against the evolution of humanity to continue. He would personally usher in the next step in the evolutionary process creating a new species of man. A species stronger, faster and smarter. A species under his direct and immortal control.

To make this dream a reality, he had recruited the greatest scientists and researchers in the Elemental Nations to continue their so-called heretical work under his direct supervision and resources. He continued to grow his organization spreading out like a cancer wherever chaos existed. The only shame was that it seemed that chaos occurred all across the world at once. Rice, Lightning and Water were all ripe for the picking, but he could only be in one place at one time despite his immortality.

His organization was already making breakthrough discoveries in the fields of alchemy, toxicology, epidemiology, genetics, botany and zoology. This was what he was meant to be. Not a mere scientist for Konoha, but the ringleader for science across the Elemental Nations. Science was no longer an inventor or a tinkerer in their small workshop working under the candlelight.

Science was now the progress of a team dedicated to a common goal. Science required vast amounts of resources just for the littlest of advancements. These advancements, no matter their size, could have a revolutionary impact if used to their fullest potential. Orochimaru was dedicated to the cause of using everything to its fullest potential. No sin was greater than a resources not reaching or being utilized to its potential.

Bloodline users and clans filled with individuals with unique chakra signatures committed this sin every day of their lives when they refused to better mankind as a whole. Science was the process of delving into the secrets of the universe. Rather than illuminate the secrets, greedy clans would keep all of the knowledge to themselves to keep their tumultuous place in the world.

Orochimaru would not be content until very secret was laid bare to him. Once he had achieved the understanding of the universe, he would ascend to rule over the Elemental Nations as the second coming of the Sage of the Six Paths. Instead of using the resources of the world to divide the peoples of the Elemental Nations, Orochimaru would use the combined resource of the Elemental Nations to build a utopia that he would rule over for all eternity.

He had already achieved his goal of immortality to a certain extent. His soul transfer ability called Living Corpse Reincarnation he mastered in his final days as a Shinobi of Leaf. It granted him immortality as long as he could find new hosts. Nonetheless, there were too many problems in the technique for Orochimaru's taste.

The host's soul stays alive in a suppressed state and as a result weakens the body over time. Furthermore, should he run dangerously low on chakra, the host would have the potential to regain control of his or her body. The ending result was that Orochimaru could only inhabit a body for three years before the body completely rejected his soul. Also, his soul required a little less than three years to have a transfer without permanent damage.

Orochimaru would have to be extremely careful with his host's body if he didn't imbue every host with the Power of the White Snake. To increase his own survival capabilities, Orochimaru modified the body to his theme of snakes allowing vast regenerative abilities such as reconnecting severed body parts and shedding his skin to heal injuries. All together, the end result was the first step towards immortality.

Giant blasts of elemental chakra streaked through the misty air all at once halting the Kaguya clan's seemingly unstoppable advance. With the element of surprise, the Mizukage and his apprentice along with a large force of loyalists initiated the counter-attack. It seemed that a few of the more moderate and conservative bloodline clans did remain loyal to the Mizukage judging by the giant stream of lava that devoured three Kaguya clan members.

Orochimaru activated his Sharingan to bear witness to the clash. For a researcher such as himself, no tool was more powerful than the Sharingan allowing for the instantaneous deconstruction of any ninjutsu, genjutsu or taijutsu. The level of advancement that Orochimaru had made since he acquired the Sharingan a year ago even astonished himself at times.

By bearing witness to the giant conflict in front of him, he was able to add dozens of ninjutsu to his massive repertoire. As the battle raged on and the Kaguya and Mist loyalists fell one by one, Orochimaru had already learned three of the Mizukage's own personal water techniques.

Even his apprentice had an ability to reverse attacks technique that Orochimaru would have found most useful, unfortunately, it required a unique source of chakra. Specifically, it required the demonic chakra of the Three Tailed Demon Turtle. The Sharingan allowed him to learn more about the nature of demonic chakra within a few minutes then it did in his lifetime of research.

Orochimaru glanced over to a Kaguya member that was currently being melted by a glob of acid that reminded him of his ex-teammate Tsunade's slugs. In fact, it belonged to the jinchuriki of the Six Tailed Demon Slug. It would seem that the Mizukage was able to keep his jinchuriki under his sway. Despite the Mist jinchurikis' young age, they had a surprisingly decent control over their demonic companions. Nonetheless, all jinchuriki were walking bombs ready to explode.

The Kaguya clan were losing ground and tripping over their own clan member's bodies. The Mizukage offered unconditional surrender promising a swift death which only enraged the surviving members into a last charge.

A swift motion to the side caught Orochimaru's attention. A child, no older than nine, was rushing as fast as his little legs could carry him away from the battle. The bone protrusions dripping with blood from his arms gave away his Kaguya blood despite not wearing the proper battle uniform that the rest of his clan members were wearing.

Suddenly, two Mist loyalists appeared. One wielded a large sword that sliced through the air at an angle. The little boy parried with ease and jumped in the air. Twisting his body, the boy's bone blade pierced through the armored protection of the second loyalist who was descending with a kunai. Blood gushed out of the now vacant hole covering the child's side in his vanquished foe's blood.

The first Shinobi swung his sword horizontally to bisect the child who just gutted his companion. Still in midair, the boy brought his knees to his chest. The blade swung underneath him and connected to his fellow Mist Shinobi. The boy used the stuck nature of the blade as a platform to temporarily crouch upon. The Kaguya child spun around with his twin bone blades extended decapitating the Shinobi causing blood the squirt from the carotid artery and on to the bone user's face.

A third Mist loyalist appeared from the shadows of a crumbling building knocking the boy off and disarming one of his blades. The Shinobi rushed the boy's tumbling body to pierce the boy's throat. The Kaguya prodigy simply lifted the back of his hand allowing the blade to pierce his skin but get stuck in the bone. The boy pulled his pierced hand forwards destabilizing the third Shinobi's center of balance. The remaining bone blade swung in a wide arc and slit the third Shinobi's neck. Blood sprayed into the misty air.

A giant blade twice the width of the boy's body came across and with a loud thud bent to boy's back. To the latest assailant's shock, bones protruded from the boy's spine encasing the sword. The boy yanked forward disarming the enemies sword, and with his own sword he stabbed the enemy straight through the eye.

Without hesitation, the boy collected his two bone blades and quickly retreated from the scene of battle. It would seem that the boy didn't have the uncontrollable lust for blood and battle that the rest of his clan did despite his clear talent in open-combat. How interesting.

The remaining Mist loyalists were collecting the bodies to presumably burn. Orochimaru signaled for his remaining henchmen to covertly collect what Kaguya bodies they could along with any non-attached Kaguya bones. They would fetch a nice price on the black market.

Orochimaru, in the meanwhile, followed the retreating boy. Some things required a personal touch. The boy had found a high spot to view the village collecting the dead. There was no sadness in the boy's eyes but a since of relief and freedom.

Eventually, the boy became disinterested in the scene and looked at the white flower by his foot. His own and his enemies blood pooled together from the cut in his hand to one of his fingertips and dripped onto the flower's petal. Kneeling down, the boy observed the flower to a greater extent

Bending and stretching his body like a snake, Orochimaru appeared before the young bone user. Getting a better look, the bone-user was of pale complexion with shoulder-length white hair and pale green eyes. The red warpaint around the eyes and the two dots above the eyebrows signified him as a member of the Kaguya clan. The boy immediately entered into a defensive stance with dual-wielding bone swords.

"Mastering your bloodline at such a young age is an accomplishment that should be rewarded," Orochimaru said making no move to attack or defend himself. "It would be a shame to see such talent go to waste, wouldn't it?"

"There is no purpose in this cursed existence," the boy said without inflection. "The only thing my talent has given me is a cage to be locked up into. The darkness was where I was raised for the sake of the Kaguya clan."

"I would never waste such a talent," Orochimaru responded. "Come with me, and I'll take you away from this cursed existence. I'll give you a new one. A new beginning far away from this land."

"It matters not. There is no meaning, no purpose," the boy answered and attacked. The twin bone blades danced in the fading light of the sunset. Orochimaru used his snake-like body to dodge every strike with ease.

"For what purpose do I fight? What am I?" Kimimaro questioned while continuing his deadly dance. "Without knowing anything I keep on fighting. I was of use to the patriarch for this war, and the feeling of being needed alone caused my body to move."

In a few swift movements Orochimaru disarmed the child and had his throat constricted by snakes originating from his sleeves and said, "Maybe, just maybe, there is no purpose in life. But if you linger a while longer in this world, you might discover something of value in it, like how you discovered that flower. Or, like how I discovered you."

The boy didn't say anything. There was no resistance, but a tension ready to explode should an opening present itself. Orochimaru crept up to the boy. A pale hand reached out and pushed aside on side of the boy's white and shoulder-length hair to caress his cheek.

The boy reacted immediately to the touch. Not with violence, but a subtle heating of the cheeks. Clearly, he had never been touched neither with affection nor cruelty. How amazing that an action so simple could have such an affect. It was a simple matter for Orochimaru to use the vulnerability to cast his Snake Charming genjutsu.

"What is your name?" Orochimaru asked releasing his binding snakes.

"Kimimaro."

"My name is Orochimaru, and I will be your new master."


	14. Lightning at Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER SIX: THUNDER WITHOUT THE RAIN

LIGHTNING AT NIGHT

* * *

The first and only son of the Raikage, Ae, stood side by side with his adoptive brother, B, who preferred his nickname Killer Bee. The two tall and dark-skinned men maintained the same large muscular builds, same hairstyle with slicked back platinum blonde hair and the same Cloud flak jackets. The difference appeared in the different styles of facial hair, and the tattoos that they both had. Ae had a fuma-shuriken tattoo on each deltoid despite never using fuma-shuriken, while Bee had the kanji for Iron which sealed the Eight Tailed Demon Ox Octopus along with a bull horn tattoo on his face.

The tag-team along with their teams of three moved through the haunted forest and hills that comprised of the majority of the No Man Zone. Ae and Bee's teams were tasked with making contact with any enclaves of survivors. With this in mind, they were heading straight for the nearest castle-town within the contested zone. Other squads were tasked with making contact with the monk temple and meager rice villages.

While every squad had a team leader, Ae was the regional commander for all of the squads putting him in charge of twenty Shinobi. The overall strategy involved gaining intel of the enemy and, should the situation permit, begin exterminating all undead plague victims. A nuance to the plan was to not engage any corpse-eaters as they would help clean up the situation, hence why the eight-man team swerved around a pack of ghouls engaging a mob of undead.

The closer Ae and Bee got to the castle-town the undead mobs grew in number and size. Eventually, the team traversed the mountain range. Passing through the remaining trees that blocked their view, Ae looked over the landscape. The local lord's castle-town like all in the Land of Lightning was situated upon a tree-less hill fortified by stonework that overlooked a sprawling village.

Currently, the main and two side entrance ramps were being stormed by a horde of undead on each direction. The hill made of stone and mortar had undead crawling up the sides storming the walls. The majority was clumsily falling down the sides, but too many were reaching the top only for a spear or sword to cut them down.

The village below was afire with the smoke obscuring the sight. The method of incineration became obvious when a hail of burning arrows descended upon a concentration of undead that surrounded the base of the main entrance ramp. The assaulting undead at the top were relentlessly pounding upon the sturdy wooden gate and portcullis with little success.

The defenders would last, but only a few more days. Rations were not the problem in this case, but the numbers of the invaders. Furthermore, the undead did not sleep or tire or rest, and the human body could only resist fatigue for so long. The sound of bumbling footsteps to the west diverted Ae's attention from the siege.

A horde of shambling undead broke from the tree line to rush the burning village. Ae glanced back at the village before he saw black flashes dart in front of the tree line and stand still like the eye of the storm surrounding by charging undead. A man in dark purple robes that covered his thin frame from head to toe holding a large emanating light green crystal stood in the middle of the four black-clothed figures.

Ae narrowed his eyes. The living were involved. Someone or some group was behind the plague and the undead, and he would first find their names before killing every last one of them. The crystal held some sort of power that needed to be destroyed, and the four figures presented themselves as Shinobi. They wore no obvious colors to identify their allegiance, but Ae would find out in soon time.

The last of the remaining undead reinforcements charged by the group of five that continued to walk in a slow and steady pace. Ae signaled everyone's attention towards the man with the crystal.

Bee approached him and whispered, "Gyuki has a bad feeling about the crystal, man. He says we should get it and throw it down a volcano. Bad mojo or something, man."

Bee, for better or for worse, was never afraid to share his feelings on matters. Before the rice plague, he notified everyone about a bad feeling he had with the rice and the rats. During the plague, he had a bad feeling about the recently deceased.

Fool me once; fool me twice.

Ae was not about to let his brother's advice fall to the wayside for a third time. Furthermore, ever since Bee's return from the Waterfall of Truth, Bee and his Tailed Beast had developed a working relationship based on mutual understanding.

Ae didn't even know that the Tailed Beasts had the potential to converse with humans. He might not know the level or degree that the jailor and the jailed conversed at, but Ae made sure to stop and listen to the Demon's words. Now, it would seem that even the situation has reached such dire levels that the second-strongest Tailed Beast was concerned with current events.

Bee told Ae once that the Tailed Beasts did not concern themselves with mortal affairs and actively avoided them. Thus, the Tailed Beast rampages were in response to humans meddling in the Tailed Beast's affairs. The Demons simply wanted nothing to do with humans.

Ae didn't care too much about the sob story. Power was meant to be used and not squandered. He had a feeling that Gyuki knew Ae's thoughts on the matter and heavily disapproved. The Waterfall of Truth had the side-affect of taking the sting out of the Killer Bee because Bee became reticent towards missions that did not meet his newly discovered ethical and moral approval.

Fortunately, this was not one of those moments. "C, D, E and F will capture the suspected Shinobi guards. G and H will be support and reinforcements. Bee come with me to disarm and neutralize the center figure," Ae ordered.

Pair C and G and pair D and H simultaneously attacked the back pair of targets, while E and F each charged ahead for their targets in the front. Ae and Bee slide into position flanking the crystal bearer. With their arms perpendicular to the ground, Ae and Bee both charged to perform the classic lariat.

The flashes of lightning and steel were matched by shimmering ice blue barriers on each enemy Shinobi. Ae and Bee's picture-perfect lariat continued to place pressure on the larger barrier with light signs of cracks before a blast of energy tossed both of them back. Everyone landed in a crouch to reassess the situation.

The Cloud Shinobi looked upon the strange invaders. They wore full body armor in matte black with an ebony black mask similar to a Hidden Village' elite forces. The body armor comprised of a series of metal plates that covered a mesh fabric but was hard to determine in the poor light of a waning quarter moon. The only sign of color existed in a gem placed in the center of the armor that glowed with a faint pale blue light. Ae was already gaining disgust for all things crystal related.

"So the Cloud has finally arrived," the robed man said in a breathy voice. "Earlier than expected, I must admit, but it makes no difference. The events are already in motion."

The four bodyguards disappeared in black wisps of smoke causing everyone to tense in anticipation.

"Their attacking the castle," C yelled.

"Stop them," Ae barked. "Lightning lariat!"

Ae and Bee performed their signature move with lightning chakra flowing through their arms. The robed man continued to hold the crystal but with a tighter grip, while an ice blue barrier shimmered all around him. The lightning crackled across the surface, and spider-web cracks trailed all across. Suddenly, the whole barrier shattered in a rain of ice-blue chakra shards.

Ae and Bee stopped the flow of elemental chakra and charged the man with the intention of capture and interrogation. The man, however, let the crystal drop from his hands forcing Bee to divert from his path to catch it before it fell. Ae continued his path before sliding in the side to dodge the recently conjured wall of ice.

With the few extra seconds of respite offered, the man produced a dagger from the long sleeves of his robe.

"My death only serves my master," the man said before the blade glowed a sickly pale green. The glowing dagger penetrated the fabric of the robes and entered cleanly through the ribs and into his heart. Ae had seen the move performed by fellow Shinobi enough to understand the meaning.

"Fuck," Ae grumbled. "We needed to interrogate him to learn what the fuck is going on."

Ae ripped off the elk skullcap to view the man's face. The visage was gaunt beyond recognition with the skin tightened around the sunken eyes and checks with the wrinkles covering every inch of the face. The man looked as if he was a century old corpse.

"Don't worry, man," Bee replied. "We have the crystal. Look. The undead have slowed down, man. The crystal affects them. Puts them in a frenzy or something, man."

Ae could see that the assault wasn't quite as vicious, but the undead clearly still had a hunger for living flesh. Some of the undead seemed to be regaining their senses of the environment. The undead not taking part in the assault milled around in the village, while the ones in the far back sniffed the air before turning around. Seeing his and the enemy Shinobi clashing, the undead began charging them.

"Stay here with the crystal," Ae replied before rushing forward in a crackle of lightning. The time for games was over. Ae was going to have answers before the night was over, and he would make sure this happened.

Ae with a fist of lightning punched through the ice-blue shield on the closest target knocking the individual across the field. E followed the body, but the individual dispersed into a wisp of black smoke. Ae took his growing rage out on the next enemy for the exact same thing to happen.

In frustration, Ae grabbed the next enemy by the head which meant the barrier field by the head and let the electricity crackle through to fry the enemy into submission and unconsciousness. The barrier broke, but the enemy escaped in black smoke. Before Ae could try once more on the next enemy, the last Shinobi broke out in a wisp of black smoke.

The four coalesced away from the Cloud ninja and the castle-town. A voice carried across the wind blowing through the field and burning town in the background, "You are too late. You may save this one, but what of the other three? Our master's will shall be done regardless of this one's fate."

With the monologue over, the four figures entered their wisp form and darted away from the castle-town and into the village. Ae was boiling over in anger. If they were to be believed, three other enemy squads were in Lightning acting unimpeded. It made no sense to Ae because the plague had the ability to kill everyone, yet the castle's protectors were alive and defending themselves.

Why wasn't everyone in the No Man Zone dead? Why didn't the four noble lords send out envoys or open up any form of communication. While they couldn't save everyone in the madness, completely abandoning four noble lords no matter the dire consequences made little sense.

Nothing was making sense, and it was pissing Ae off. The only thing that Ae knew that made a tangible impact on the situation was that crystal. "Team Bee, take Bee and the crystal back to the Village and tell Raikage-sama what is going on here."

The situation was far worse than they could have imagined. Ae gave a weak chuckle as that phrase has become a running gag. "Team Ae we're going to cut a path straight to the castle. Eliminate all hostiles on the way. It's going to be a long night so be efficient with your kills. But first, D have you mastered Laser Circus, yet?"

"Hai, Ae-taicho," D responded dully.

"Ninjutsu combination: E," Ae ordered.

"Water Release: Tidal Wash!" C shouted placing his hands on the ground sending a wave of water through the burning town that lapped up against the base of the castle.

"Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder!" Ae roared placing his hands on the ground as well causing the earth to tear apart with harsh arcs of electricity that electrified the water. The affected undead sizzled and fried in convulsions that flaked off burning decayed flesh.

"Storm Style: Laser Circus!" D said dully putting his hands out in front of him and shooting multiple arcs of white light that crashed and exploded like missiles against the undead climbing up the west rampart and wall section. Undead flew across the air or were vaporized on contact with the white lightning.

"Lightning Release: Chain Lightning!" E cried out shooting lightning from his combined hands that arced out together hitting a particular undead cluttered on the eastern rampart. The lightning quickly fried the undead before spreading out in a web -like formation throughout the nearby undead on the rampart and climbing up the walls.

"Time to clean up this mess," Ae said before rushing forward in a crackle of lightning. Ae and his team charged into the fray eliminating any undead that were not caught in the blast of elemental chakras or were particularly resistant. Decayed body parts flew through the air like a macabre throw-the-hats-in-the-air celebration.

The group quickly reached the main rampart where Ae initiated his lightning armor technique to storm the rampart in one dash that sent the undead forces over the side in droves. His team followed close behind finishing off any undead that Ae didn't manage to finish off single-handedly. Not waiting for the gate to open, Ae with his team jumped over the walls to land in the open clearing before the noble lord's house.

A middle-aged man in Lightning general regalia and headdress sauntered forward on his horse with around thirty mounted Samurai bodyguards. After the proper words and introductions were exchanged, Ae and his team went inside the noble lord's manor, while the defenders continued to repel the remaining undead forces. Quickly moving through the wooden floors and rice paper doors, the Cumo Shinobi entered the council chambers where the noble lord and his retinue of advisors and councilors sat around a low table filled with papers and tea.

After unduly long introductions, the noble lord got to the crux of the problem with the help of Ae's leading questions. For this castle-town only the commoner's rice storage was contaminated, but the castle's rice reserved for the nobility and ashigaru garrison regiments was not infected. While the village around them died, the nobility quarantined the castle from the village.

Initially there was open rebellion and mobs storming the gates, but the disease spread too quickly and too virulently killing everyone in the village. After which, select volunteer groups were sent out to re-establish contact with the rest of the neighboring noble lords and the capital of Lightning. No one returned, and no one attempted to make contact with them. The only success was in the hunting and foraging trips to supplement their dwindling rice reserves.

Ae suspected that the individuals revolving the crystal incidence on the way to the castle were involved; however, they could not stop even but a fraction of the Daimyo's army. In response to Ae's question about the lack of assistance, the noble lord explained clearly, "Our rice crops are meagre, and our timber subpar in a land built of stone and without a navy. I refuse to entertain the Daimyo in his capital to have my name and the honor of my people dragged through the mud in my face. We mind our own business, and the Daimyo focuses his attention on more important subjects."

Ae nodded in understanding. A mixture of an unknown enemy's subterfuge and the Daimyo's pragmatism spelt the doom for this noble lord and his land and people. Ae notified the Daimyo of his other squads scouring the noble lord's land for survivors to be escorted to the nearest outpost. Ae sent E out to properly secure the rice storage of the castle itself just in case the living enemy returned.

Ae couldn't make sense of why the castle was unaffected by the plague. He guessed that the enemy was merely testing out the potential of their newly acquired undead forces and control over the undead. Maybe they were also experimenting with the crystal being delivered to Cloud at this very moment. Ae couldn't no for sure, so he kept focused on the meeting at hand.

"I will have one of my subordinates protecting the rice storage at all times, and I will have another join in any hunting parties. We ran across mindless mobs of undead roaming just outside the hills of this location with packs of corpse-eaters running amok," Ae said in a suggestion that was an order.

"That is acceptable," the noble lord acquiesced.

"We also highly recommend that all corpses previously risen or not be cremated immediately," Ae said. "We do not know about the contagious nature of the undead themselves, and we cannot afford to make the risk."

Some of the advisors and councilors make noises of disapproval, but the noble lord raised his hand in silence, "The time for honor has passed. Our people have died under my watch and have risen from their deaths with vengeance in their teeth. The time for honor has passed. Our ancestors must be put to sleep, so their souls may reach the pure land undisturbed."

"My subordinate, C, is skilled in the arts of Medical Ninjutsu for the wounded that need tending," Ae notified. "We will be staying to properly reinforce this location."

"Thank you for your assistance, Ae-san," the noble lord said. "One of my men will lead you to the make-shift infirmary. If that is all, Ae-san, there is much work to be done."

"Hai, my noble lord," Ae said with a brief bow and exited the room. Reaching their rooms with the escort, Ae ordered D to send one of his summoning panthers to the nearest Cloud outpost detailing the situation and asking for forces be sent to the other three noble lords in No Man's Zone. Lightning and Cloud needed to move quick. An army of the undead was amassing in the middle of their land, and it needed to be handled with the utmost priority.


	15. Lightning Arcs

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER SIX: THUNDER WITHOUT THE RAIN

LIGHTNING ARCS

* * *

The Twenty-first of his name, Ay, and the Raikage of the Village Hidden in the Clouds felt thunderclaps in his skull.

First came the embargo by Fire and Wind in response to his attempt of creating the Hyuga Clan in Cloud. Second came the pirates taking advantage of the Water Navy's weakness. Third came the failure of rice shipments from the Land of Rice due to their Civil War. Fourth came the worst rice failure in a century within the Land of Lightning. Fifth came the plagues that swept the nation from the Land of Rice due to loose restrictions on the quality of rice for starving people.

The Fifth was by far the worst catastrophe that has happened to the Land of Lightning since the Warring States Period. The rest simply compounded the problem to the point of starvation needed for the land with the highest border restrictions to lower them. Every day for the past three months a new report came in about another village falling victim to the plagues that killed everyone in its path without discrimination.

With the Daimyo's reluctant blessing, Cloud began scorching the earth of all the infected villages that they could. The Daimyo initiated quarantine protocols on every village and city halting all trade and travel. The Daimyo even brought dishonor to the Land of Lightning by enlisting the aid of foreigners who claimed to be experts in the fields of disease. Fortunately, he had the sense to avoid contracting any foreign villages or powers for aid.

One such expert, fortunately, shed light on the disease before he was dismissed for his obsession. All rice granaries and shipments were guarded with the utmost care. No one without explicit permission of the Daimyo or the Raikage so much as got within view of the rice. No human, no fly, no rat, no plant. Nothing but the Daimyo's personal army or the Raikage's Shinobi were allowed.

The Raikage spurred all available minds towards researching barrier techniques to guard the rice. Lightning barriers were now common in every village. Cloud created the Barrier Corps that specialized in all ninjutsu that could be used for a barrier. By the luck of the Gods, all of the precautions worked.

The rate of infected villages had come to a halt. The unmerciful and ironhanded actions of the Daimyo and Raikage saved the people. The sacrifices, however, were large, too large in fact. Many villages have already been burnt to the ground with nothing but ash in the wind. More villages still needed to be burnt. Rotten corpses still remained without their last rites and unburnt.

The remaining rice crop had been left to decay in the fields. The sheep in the hills have been slaughtered or starved or abandoned. All of the corpse-eating monsters have reawakened from their slumber and from their hiding holes to roam the countryside in both daylight and darkness.

The Land of Lightning was not safe. The Land he was sworn to protect met its greatest threat to its existence in the form of a disease. A foe that could not be confronted face to face. Foes domestic would tear Lightning apart. National unrest was beginning to unnerve even the Daimyo's army. Vassal lords have started to rumble of mutiny now that the plagues have stopped.

The people have abandoned the Gods in their belief that the Gods abandoned them. The peasant-folk have become to stray away from the teachings of the monks who could do nothing even with their powers to help stop the disease.

The monks, in response, began a series of campaigns haranguing the Raikage and Daimyo for the callous disregard of the dead to shift the blame. The tumultuous state had grown to such a level that the Daimyo ordered all burning of infected villages and people. Thus, the monks were allowed a position of importance as they went about performing last rites. That was if they weren't eaten by corpse-eaters or rampaging bandits that decided to live off of the countryside rather than in the quarantine.

The quarantine stretched resources too thin, and the army regulars were about to fray under the pressure. Only the Samurai and noble-warriors were able to keep order in the army that kept order in the surviving villages and cities.

The real problem was about to present itself though. The Land of Lightning was running out of food for anyone. Neither he nor the Daimyo had a solution that didn't involve begging from foreign lands. The Raikage would rather eat his own shoe and watch the people starve in their pride before he acted, but the Daimyo would never know the meaning of true sacrifice or true leadership.

Thus, when the most recent report landed on his desk, he immediately called the War Council. Every Jonin-level Shinobi, every clan head and every administrative official of appropriate clearance meet in the War Room. He stood in front of a giant table that had the map of the Elemental Nations replaced with the map of the Land of Lightning.

The map already had markers signifying latest pirate and slaver raids, infected villages burnt and unburnt, villages without appropriate barrier techniques and the positions of the Daimyo's armies and his Shinobi forces. The greatest shame was the large portion of the map that was grayed out and informally referred to as 'No Man's Land'. He and the Daimyo simply couldn't afford to protect all of the territories and some noble lords had to be left to their own devices. The political backlash by the remaining noble lords had the Daimyo reeling.

The Raikage raised his large hand into the air, and the room came to a close. "This most recent report from my son and collaborated by fellow Shinobi and Samurai reports that the undead have emerged."

An aging noble man from a respected clan coughed into his hand, "With all due respect Raikage-sama, it was only a matter of time before the corpse-eaters awoken."

"The undead are the victims of the plague," Ay responded. "They have begun roaming the No Man Zone and have been reported attacking outposts and villages along the border of the controlled territory.

"This cannot and will not be allowed to continue. As of now, I evoke all remaining Emergency Powers until this crisis has been averted. We are officially in a state of war against an unknown enemy.

"All remaining reserve, retired and veteran units will be immediately drafted into battle. All students above the age of thirteen will be suspended from their studies and given D-rank administrative duties. Everyone is to report to the Cloud Stadium to receive his or her assignments next week at 0600.

"The current plan of action is to divert resources from villages and cities with active barrier techniques to the contested border zone. In the meanwhile, all non-combat personnel will be tasked with placing barriers on the remaining rice storage facilities and reinitiating all scorched earth policies regarding infected villages not within the contested zone.

"The Daimyo will be taking over all rice distribution and rationing programs along with transferring troops stationed at our international borders to the contested zone. I wish to make myself abundantly clear that there will be no sightings of the undead plague victims.

"All information regarding undead plague victims is classified with the maximum level of security and will be considered an S-Rank secret. Breaking this law will be met by honorable death in fighting in the contested zone until every last undead has been properly burnt.

"Once 80 percent of all rice storage facilities across the nation have the proper barrier protocols, we will engage in an extermination policy regarding the undead and a scorch earth policy for villages below an original population mark of 5,000 through the contested zone.

"In the meantime, my elite BOLT troops and select squads will make contact with the four noble lord's castle-towns that reside within the contested zone. The goal will be to rescue notable individuals and as many survivors as is feasible and report on the current state within the contested zone.

"I will repeat myself on this matter. No one enters or leaves the contested zone without the Daimyo's authority or mine. The Daimyo suspects that monk warriors and some feudal lords will attempt to enter the contested zone. For good or for ill, they are not allowed to do this.

"Should anyone come across this situation, you are advised to make contact with the party and recommend they retreat. Should the party refuse the demands, you will not take force. Depending on the severity of the current assignment, your new assignment will be to eliminate and remove all traces of undead plague victims while attempting to attract corpse-eaters to the party for them to exterminate.

"With that said, I'll open the floor for any questions. No questions? Good. We're at war people. Act like it."

* * *

Within eight days - Ae assumed this was on purpose - Bee arrived to the castle with his team. The noble lord followed through with Ae's suggestions, and outside the village giant piles of his people were burning into the cloudy skies. Before Bee could explain the situation to the noble lord, Ae pulled him to the side for the low down.

Ae loved Bee as much as an adoptive brother he could, but Ae couldn't stand Bee's way of talking. If he could barely stand it without gaining a headache the size of Mount Cloud, then he wasn't about to let him start talking to some stuffy lord and his advisors. Furthermore, it was just plain unprofessional. It wasn't the time for games, and it wasn't the time to deal with Bee's speech patterns.

Bee explained the situation. Ae thought he understood the situation, but then Bee grew a shit-eating grin and handed him a missive. The ass. Ae shook his head in disapproval. He was never going to tell Bee, but he really needed the comic relief. He was surrounded by misery, depression and sullen, and while they had every reason to be, Ae was never the emotional or compassionate person with the glaring exception of his adoptive brother. Another fact that Bee would never hear uttered out of his mouth; Bee would just have to be happy with his actions.

He delivered the good news to the noble lord that the Daimyo's forces would reconquer his land with outposts established between the new border to the contested zone. For bad news, all of the other villagers in the monk temple, lumber mill town and the various rice terrace villages were risen and milling around their previous homes. The rest of the squads under Ae's command were in the process of returning the dead to their rest, while the Daimyo's forces was marching straight to the castle-town.

Ae did not know what the Daimyo planned to do because there were no peasants to tend the fields or the lumberyards. The land existed but was useless without anyone to make it productive and profitable. A lord was not much with just his demesne forces and a garrison of spear and bow ashigaru units.

Ae had other things to worry about. For instance, he needed to plan the route that his team and Bee's team would take to the closest noble lord's castle-town. Ae did not have much hope for survivors especially with the incoming reports from the forward scouts in the field. The decision to not immediately rush out and potentially save one of the other noble lords was one that weighed heavily on Ae, but the decision was clear.

Bee needed to return with utmost haste to Cloud with the strange crystal and call for reinforcements. Then, Ae needed to ensure the continued survival of the noble lord that he knew he could save. There was no telling if the unknown enemy would return to finish the job or if there were more hordes of undead preparing to lay siege to the castle-town. Furthermore, and Ae always hated this reason, he was the apparent successor to his father, the Raikage, and his father for whatever reason did not have more children. Although Ae didn't have much of a leg to stand on in this regard, he didn't have a single child despite being a little over thirty-years old.

When the chunin team arrived, Ae and Bee's teams set out towards the path to the castle-town that went over the mountainous ridgeline to provide optimum views of the redefined contested zone. Ae had spent the past week brooding over the situation that the Land of Lightning was in.

There were active enemy agents killing thousands of the people, and Cloud was just now finding that information. They knew nothing else other than a dubious connection between the crystal. The only one that knew anything was the Eight Tailed Ox Octopus, but he only offered vague comments to Bee. Bee then gave Ae the story through his nonsense way of talking. In other words, Ae was receiving a message from a being that didn't even think on the same level as a human being through the worst messenger possible.

Ae trusted Bee with his life; he did not trust the Eight Tailed Demon Ox Octopus. If he interpreted Bee's lyrics, Bee and the Tailed Beast believed that was the problem with humans. Humans lacked understanding, and in their short mortal life spans would never have the patience to have understanding. The lives were over before understanding could be had, and there were too many lives.

Ae didn't much care for all of the hippy bullshit Bee started spewing since his return from the Waterfall of Truth. The world was a giant pile of shit. People were vile. No one made any significant improvements towards peace. Peace itself was a giant lie whose true name was status quo. There would never be a true peace unless everyone lived on their own island and even then mankind would find a way to throw coconuts at each other to steal the other's coconuts. People were crazy. The world was crazy.

Ae tried multiple times to open Bee's eyes to the world around them, but he would always just shake his head in disapproval. The man talked in fucking rhymes and riddles, and he disapproved of him! More proof for Ae that the world was crazy. Ae stopped trying mainly because Bee always did live a little in his own world. The Power of Human Sacrifice required sacrifice, and it was said to see it especially in his own adoptive brother. Unfortunately, this hellhole of a world required such sacrifices to be made by the unwilling for the ungrateful to do the impossible.

The fact that the Village Hidden in the Leaves didn't even need the Power of Human Sacrifice rankled Ae on a daily basis. They were too good, too noble, too high-and-mighty to sacrifice their own. They were too rich and fat simply because of where they were born. Ae shook his head. These thoughts would lead to nowhere, and he had more pressing issues to attend. The undead that haunted his lands weren't going to rest in peace by themselves.

Plus, if was being honest with himself, then would admit that the anger was out of jealousy. He saw how his adoptive brother suffered in his formative years. Ae frequently stopped misplaced outrages, bar fights and even a pair of assassination attempts.

The Eight Tailed Demon Ox Octopus killed many Cloud Shinobi when his host lost control or simply lost the will to fight and live. The Power of Human Sacrifice mandated a level of willpower only seen once in a generation. Furthermore, it required a level of emotional understanding of a monk which Shinobi rarely if ever reached in their short lifespans.

Classical training taught Shinobi to suppress their emotions and feelings to become a tool for the village. What Ae could understand from Bee's seldom and private ramblings on the subject, this training was self-destructive. The Tailed Beasts feed off of the emotions that their host sequester into their subconscious. Tailed Beasts seem to feed off of human suffering in all of its forms but especially their host whose soul they are linked.

Thus, a host needed to be in harmony with himself, the Tailed Beast, the village and the world. A host usually drove themselves to depression and a hatred for the rest of their race. The Tailed Beast sent every moment in its cage driving the host insane. The Village asked too much of the host, and the world despised the host's very existence. An existence that the host never wanted in the beginning.

No one volunteered for the duty. Despite all of the propaganda and promises of power and positions of power and honor and remembrance for ten thousand centuries, no one volunteered to be the Power of Human Sacrifice. This was mainly because everyone saw with their own two eyes the consequences of being the host which quickly educated the ignorant about the truth behind the propaganda.

As a result, the position was always given to an individual with close familial ties to the Kage and the Village. Bee was the exception of the rule. Unlike Ae's previous two cousins that were unsuccessful sacrifices that were killed by the Tailed Beast, Bee was not directly linked by blood. Instead, Bee was just some ordinary orphan at the Academy who decided one day to try his hand at performing a lariat with Ae to determine who would be the B to Ae's A in classic Cloud tradition.

Ae to this day didn't know what drove Bee to become the host. Maybe it was the promise of power. Maybe it was to be more than just Bee. Maybe it was to be more than just an adoptive brother. Maybe it was for the village. Maybe it was for the Kage. Maybe it was for Ae. Ae didn't know, and Ae didn't really want to know. Some things were just meant to be kept secret.

Also, in all honesty, it didn't matter. Bee would always be his adoptive brother. Bee would always be Bee, and no Tailed Beast could change this fact for Ae. People would frequently remark about how Bee was the perfect Power of Human Sacrifice, and Ae detested it when they said stupid shit like that. They couldn't even begin to fathom the complexities of the situation, and the sacrifices that Bee had to make everyday for them. They were the ungrateful lot who didn't understand and couldn't even begin to understand.

"Sir, that's the ladies onsen," some acne-faced kid called out from the front of the building.

"I know where I'm fucking going," Ae grumbled before turning directions. Sometimes he got a little too out of his body. Beside him, Bee snickered. If he didn't want to ruin the only place that could give him a decent bath before his mission, he would have pulled the Iron Claw technique on Bee before Bee could even think up a dumb ass rhyme to utter.


	16. Battle at Mount Cloudburst

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER SEVEN: THUNDER CLASHES

BATTLE AT MOUNT CLOUDBURST

* * *

The Raikage felt the chakra radiate through his body sending strange tingling sensations just underneath his skin like ants. The Heavenly Transfer technique that the Tami clan mastered during the reign of the Thirteenth of his name was originally created with the sole purpose of transferring objects at the speed of light. Only in the reign in his two predecessors was the technique viable for organic matter. The caveat was that the organic matter had to be very durable, so the body could withstand the forces that tore at the muscles, bones and nerves of the body through the brief travel.

For example, the Raikage's body that could with the aid of his Lightning Armor achieves the speed of light. The fact didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch every time he has used it which would be a grand total of four now. The technique required a vast amount of electricity, seals, and a member of the Tami clan that mastered the technique to absolute perfection, but no one could deny the usefulness of such a technique.

The ability to transport any object or being with sufficient durability at the speed of light at any distance had an unimaginable number of uses. The only hindrances were that the end-location required the appropriate seal. Furthermore, the longer the distance, the more draining the technique was in terms of the performer's chakra and the electricity required. Fortunately, a few clicks from the base of Mount Cloudburst was only five days travel and well within the limits considering that the Raikage once made a jump all the way to the Land of Water.

His two sons, one of blood and one of adoption, stood in front of him with their teams of three behind them. Other villages might have subordinates bow or kneel, but the Raikage tempered his men and women of sterner stuff.

Getting straight to the point, he faced his blood son. "Report," the Raikage ordered. Bee or whatever silly name he was going by nowadays might have been the greatest thing that has ever happened to Cloud in a century of dealing with unstable Power of Human Sacrifices, but he couldn't talk straight for shit.

"The reports were true," Ae answered. "The undead are excavating all across the mountain and appear to have made significant advances at a rough glance. We have yet to see any sign of living enemy agents or their crystals."

The Raikage nodded in affirmation. Ae and Bee had personally investigated the remaining three castle-towns to only discover scenes of great carnage and destruction. Cloud currently had squads removing the undead that still haunted the lands.

The scouts, however, reported the movements of the undead. While initially the movements seemed to be random in terms of their particular areas, the Raikage's advisors discovered a pattern to the movement. All of the undead in the four wide-spread noble lord's provinces were migrating to one specific spot.

Mount Cloudburst was the tallest mountain in this section of the Lightning Ridge that ran through the Land of Lightning, and also the resting place of the ancient Samurai and Shinobi that finished the War of Lightning Unification. These particular heroes gave their lives in some cases in the final battles of the remaining Daimyo and Shinobi Clans that resisted the idea of a central state.

When the information that the undead were converging on this location reached the Daimyo's ears, he promptly ordered that the Raikage handle this situation. Too much damage had been done to the Land of Lightning and the Daimyo's honor, prestige and legitimacy for this grave violation of such a sacred location to go unhindered.

If the ancient warriors of old rose from their resting place, then one of the greatest sacrileges in Lightning's history would have been committed. The Daimyo and the Raikage had no intention of this from happening. The fact that the enemy had no flag or banner or headband to identify with was beyond maddening, as they didn't have anyone to tear down. Ae and Bee were never able to capture one of the culprits. Nonetheless, this madness was ending by the time of the next sunrise, and the Raikage was going to ensure it.

"This ends now," the Raikage said. "G find us the deepest tunnel."

"Hai, Raikage-sama," G said from behind Bee. "Lightning Release: Electrolocation!"

Circles of lightning grew from G's mouth growing in size all the way to the mountain and going through the various tunnels being created by the undead ceaseless excavating. The technique allowed G to create a mental map of the terrain performing the function of a geological sensor that became particularly useful against the tunnels that the Earth Shinobi created with a penchant.

"There are two primary tunnels that run to their own locations but also converge into a central location where I believe the defenses to the terra-cotta grave army is located," G said with his eyes closed visualizing the mental picture. "It seems the undead have ran into a form of barrier and cannot dig any further."

Without forewarning, the Raikage dashed forward in an arc of lightning up one of the ramps coincidentally knocking all the undead excavators. He continued with A and B teams following closely behind on his sides. Running through the unlit tunnel, the nine entered a large antechamber after jumping up a set of disheveled steps. A luminescent crystal roof shined a pale yellow light revealing the murals depicting the Lightning Unification War from beginning to end.

The Cloud Shinobi were not paying attention to the one of the greatest artistic wonders in the world, but on the assortment of shrouded individuals near an intricate set of stone doors with a bright blue barrier. The barrier had two energy streams going in either direction and tracing through the murals and down the two recently created tunnels. The central figure was facing the barrier, while two individuals on each side faced the Cloud Shinobi.

A hollow voice rang out, "Ironic that the fastest men in the world are always too late." A small self-satisfied chuckle echoed, "It matters not. You shall share the same fate of your peer when he tried to stop me. This grave might not be yours, but I will make it so."

The Raikage had no idea what he was monologuing about, but he had no time for these games. He activated his lightning armor and charged with his subordinates a step behind. Before he could reach even half the distance, the Raikage hit a wall, literally. A giant wall of ice shimmered into existence from the impact points of their bodies.

"How Leaf managed to acquire the monkey contract when there is a land filled with apes is a mystery beyond even me," the voice said in clear disdain.

"One-Finger Hell Stab!" the Raikage roared. He would not stand these insults upon him and his people and used his technique nicknamed the 'Invincible Spear' against the now invisible wall. The lightning from the hand penetrated through the now visible wall; however, the lightning soon arced across the ice wall and to the sides. A groove in the ice wall became apparent and acted as a conduit for the lightning to strike against the blue energy traversing the murals.

Two simultaneous explosions of energy disrupted the flow of energy to the door's barrier. The taunting figure had two large spectral blue skeletal arms appear from his body to tear apart the doors apart harshly. Before jumping into the black hole, the black-clothed figure turned around his shoulder with one last parting remark, "How predictable. Oh, and one last thing. It took twenty of Cloud's Elite BOLT troops to take down a Hokage. How many does it take to take down a Raikage?"

The Raikage's lightning armor flared in anger. He wouldn't let this man's existence continue to defile both the dead and the living no matter what riddles he spoke. A pattering of footsteps forced the Raikage to divert his attention to the group of figures shrouded in black robes. The Raikage snarled at the interruption.

He did not have time for anything to get in his way, "Kill them."

The Raikage returned to tearing down the ice wall with his One-Finger Hell Stab technique to chink away against the extremely durable wall. The technique that was able to cut off all of the Eight Tail's tails could only act as a form of crude chisel or pick-axe.

Meanwhile, teams A and B gauged their opponents. The shrouded individuals removed their black robes revealing rotting flesh and visible bones. Each body was in a different state of undeath in terms of how much rotting flesh hanged off of the bodies. Despite these attributes, the most alarming features were the BOLT uniforms. The famous BOLT uniforms were in a variety of styles that correlated with the state of undeath in a weird pseudo-living museum of changing uniform regulations.

The two sides readied themselves, and in a flash of motion at an imaginary signal the two sides clashed. Ae activated his father's lightning armor technique and began his overpowered and lightning-charged wrestling moves to make short work of the deceased BOLT members. Bee performed his dance of blades of electrified blades putting the undead down with the blades in his hands and the blades flying through the air.

C's water bullets flew through the air side by side D's black lightning panthers and E's chain lightning. E's stone shards shrouded in F's fireballs empowered by G's wind bullets rained meteors. The two teams combination ninjutsu techniques tore down a few of the undead with the constant beating of the Raikage tearing down the ice wall echoing through the room. After the initial salvo, the six other Cloud Shinobi entered the fray to tear down the undead with swords and taijutsu.

While each of the undead BOLT members defended and attacked, they did so as a pathetic imitation of their previous lives. BOLT members, like all Shinobi, acted in teams to create a combination of techniques and abilities to make a more perfect defense and attack. These undead, however, were not acting like a solid unit that took months of training and joint suffering to create the most powerful soldiers in Cloud's arsenal.

The eight living Cloud Shinobi continued their path of destruction through their ancestors until a loud crashing noise distracted them in the heat of the battle. The ice wall shattered with ice-blue and semi-transparent fragments cascading down with the Raikage in the middle of the raining ice shards with his lightning armor crackling against the shards.

The Raikage immediately engaged in combat with the four members guarding the door. The four evaded the attacks or forced glancing blows with the aid of shadow images, ice armor and substituting with some of the undead littering the ground. The two teams reversed direction to aid the Raikage with the hope that the four aware enemies somehow kept the undead alive.

The enemies not kept busy with the fastest man in the world sent green shadows across the ground and towards the undead BOLT members. The green shadows connected with the recently felled opponents resurrecting them after a few spasms to continue the fighting. As a result, Teams A and B found them surrounded by enemies turning a rather simple fight into a precarious one.

"Duck!" Bee yelled. Without waiting for confirmation, visual or vocal, he shouted as if there was another voice working at the same time, "Tailed Whirlwind!"

Eight octopus tails emerged from Bee's tailbone as Bee jumped and twirled in the air bringing the eight octopus tails with him in a delayed manner. The tails swept the undead away and battered them against the antechamber or tunnel walls allowing both teams to dash towards the Raikage.

Instead of engaging the four opponents, Ae punched the door's barrier, but the barrier merely shimmered before instantly restoring itself. They were wasting too much time with the underlings, while the head of the snake was actively poisoning the honored dead.

"Lightning Switch: 1!" Ae yelled over the clashes of the battle.

Ae felt a tug on his body and accepted the feeling. He switched with his father who performed a One-Finger Hell Stab on the door which resulted in the door exploding in sparks of latent chakra energy. The Raikage regained his wits from his rage and took the opportunity to pull the doors open from their magnetic latching.

Finishing his relentless assault on four undead BOLT members, Bee jumped backwards to help open the straining doors. Four summoned Tailed Beast tails on each side of the gap opened the doors allowing for the Raikage to pass through the other side of the portal.

Before jumping into the darkness of the tunnel that did not have crystal lighting, the Raikage simply stated, "Survivors optional."


	17. Return to Tradition

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER SEVEN: THUNDER CLASHES

RETURN TO TRADITION

* * *

Elemental chakra, swords, punches and kicks rang out in an endless cacophony associated with Shinobi battles. Team A and B focused on eliminating the four bodyguards, while B's whirlwind of lightning and blades kept the rising dead away from interfering with the battle.

Ae, through a substitution of his own lightning after-image from a previous attack, managed to land the first solid blow against the center of one of the black robed opponents. The lightning fist impacted against a solid metal breastplate; however, there was no sound of crushing bones of the chest cavity that usually followed one of Ae's attacks.

The individual flew backwards until a barrage of ninjutsu and flying weapons impacted the body. While falling back down, Bee sent the recent wave of undead BOLT members backwards in a concussive blast of lightning to jump backwards in the air. Now above the descending enemy, Bee sent each of his eight Supervibrato Lightning Release Blades cloaked in lightning one by one.

The crumpled section of the breastplate acted as a bulls-eye of a dartboard in a bar with the blades acting like the darts that struck within the bulls-eye. The impact of the blades sped up the descent to the hard stone flooring with a small dust cloud. The dust cloud increased in intensity when Bee landed directly on top of the end of the blades finally puncturing the breastplate.

Latent chakra energy seeped out of the puncture point like a steaming teapot. As more chakra fled the container, the container crumpled into itself. The subsequent cracks opened up more tears for the chakra to escape until suddenly a mass of chakra exploded out like a firework.

The cloud of chakra zoomed through the continuing fighting to latch on to one of the charging undead BOLT members. The blue chakra went through the rather skeletal BOLT member's eyes, mouth and various puncture holes. The blue energy started to contain itself within the skeletal shell of the once proud elite fighter of Cloud, and the skeleton gave out a strange form of a roar.

Shrill laughter filled the air from the same recently possessed skeleton, "What is dead may never die!"

"Guillotine Drop!" Ae shouted with the crystal-laced ceiling creating a halo effect from behind him.

A lightning-encased heel slammed through the skeleton's skull and out of the skeleton's mouth. While the latent chakra hopped from undead to undead, Ae unceremoniously crushed every last one. After a few moments of consternation and conversation with Gyuki, Bee developed a plan for putting an end to this disgrace.

Bee took a deep breath and expanded his gut as much as possible before spitting out a giant cloud of ink at the stampeding BOLT members. At the same time, another cloud of blue chakra rushed out to find a new host as the previous one was now a heap of slag metal due to Team B's successful combination technique.

"Ink Clone Technique," Bee shouted as he clasped his fingers together.

The ink that was bogging down the advancing enemies soon shifted into dozens of ink clones in the general shape of Bee. The ink clones flanked and latched onto the doused enemies and put them into an octopus hold.

"Sealing Technique: Octopus Hold," Bee shouted with a different hand sign.

The ink clones started to spread their ink across the undead's bodies. Within three seconds, the undead's entire bodies were dyed with ink completely sealing their movements. Bee sidestepped from the remaining two opponents that disengaged from fighting Ae and Bee's students to stop Bee from finishing the technique. The students along with Ae and Bee engaged the enemy with a backdrop of undead BOLT members frozen in black ink.

The opponents overestimated the length of time it would take Bee to completely halt their whole entire army and potential hosts. While the technique was as draining as firing a Tailed Beast Bomb, Bee could fire half-a-dozen of those. As a result, Bee was beyond wary of using one-sixth of his chakra into one move that might not even work. Furthermore, there was no definite way of knowing if there were more enemies that Bee could have entrapped all at once. Maybe, Bee just needed to hold the undead for a few more minutes that would have cost him nothing.

Also, the Raikage has not yet returned from beyond the doors, and the possibility of there being another trap was a given. The possibilities were endless as to why Bee needed not to waste one-sixth of his chakra in one move. Plus, Bee was enjoying the fight despite the extraordinary situations that should have him frothing at the mouth and doing everything in his power to stop this madness at once. He would save that for the Raikage and his clone of a son that let their tempers get the best of them and fall into the enemies' hands.

In quick succession, Team A and B finished the two remaining enemies with Bee using just enough ink to seal the vessels before the chakra source could escape. They would need to stay here to ensure nothing happened with the sealed bodies that allowed them to escape and create trouble just like this again. There were a lot of questions that needed to be asked regarding how the enemy acquired access to the Tomb of the Lightning Elite, the enemies' abilities, the sentient nature of the chakra, who led them and what were there goals besides killing and raising from the dead the people of the Land of Lightning.

Without taking a breath from defeating the last opponent, Ae struck the door with feet, hands, elbows, chops and knees covered in lighting. All of the effort merely created a unique drum sound of the lightning crashing against the crystal-chakra barrier that held him from aiding his father. Bee knew that Ae knew that he could not break the barrier.

The barrier clearly required a vast amount of energy and power refined into one point to break the barrier. Ae simply did not have any ability that was parallel to the Raikage's Hell Stab especially the ultimate spear technique of the One-Finger Hell Stab. After a few more token efforts, Ae backed away from the door in a dissatisfied grunt.

Ae removed himself from the scene and exited the inside of the mountain to stand on the ramp that leads them to the crystal antechamber. A few sharp whistles later, a few Cloud messenger hawks appeared from the surrounding forest to land in front of Ae who already had a scroll and pen in hand. Soon after, the hawks left with Ae's message requesting immediate reinforcements in order to properly secure the location.

Team A and B with the help of the Raikage himself was not anticipating a problem that could not be solved by them alone. The Raikage had both the ultimate offensive and defensive techniques. Ae was the second strongest individual in the village that just managed to single-handedly defeat the Eight Tailed Demon Ox Octopus as a show of strength to reveal that he could take his father's spot should the occasion appear. Bee was the perfect Power of Human Sacrifice and had the proper Shinobi skills to be the third most powerful Shinobi in Cloud without the aid of his demonic prisoner that the previous late Hokage announced himself.

Cloud had underestimated the power of their enemy and was paying the price. Fortunately, the price has not called for blood but extreme personal embarrassment. The enemy had made fools of them and continued to make fools of them.

Bee approached Ae leaving the mountain as well to stand by his side looking over the milling undead that continued to move around the mountain aimlessly. With the four enemies sealed and the main antagonist in an unknown position, the undead seemed to have lost all sense of hive mind and acted like proper undead.

Undeath was not a new thing. People have dabbled in various forms of undeath with varying names depending on the time that they occurred ranging from the dark arts to necromancy. The bottom line revolved around individual's corpses whose souls have left their bodies being reanimated and given a foul purpose.

Some ancient kingdoms, as archaeologists have discovered, used the undead as eternal servants for simple tasks such as harvesting, mining and other menial services. Of course, modern society was far behind such unholy and atrocious acts. That was the point of the peasantry after all. Why have the dead slave over something and dishonor their ancestors when the living could perform the work with just a few bowls of rice?

Necromancy, in the modern world, was a rare feat that required a vast amount of skill just as it was required in the ancient times. Nonetheless, spiritual crusades have made it their goal to burn and exterminate all references and texts that were currently deemed by society as dishonoring ones ancestors. Nothing was more disgraceful and dishonorably than dishonoring ones ancestors.

Sometimes, however, the dead rose of natural intent due to the fact that chakra has been determined to be natural energy after many centuries of debate. The debate, argued by monks and theologians, solved the debate after spending around a century studying chakra. When the monks realized the great dedication required to perfect the body spiritually and physically, they also grew in vast amounts of strength. Like all humans, strength was not a feature to be abandoned, and monks used this new source of legitimate strength to solidify their own importance and strength. As a result, chakra became natural energy.

Chakra under the proper circumstances could reanimate the dead without any third party interference or motivation. Theories ranged from the position of the stars in the sky to dying with some great emotion like sorrow, regret or whatever.

One common superstition that seemed to have a lick of truth was that when people died in vast droves, the more likely they were to rise from the grave. The peasant superstition revolved around the fact that Death, who is apparently one of the Gods, was simply too busy to do his jobs due to the fault of man acting in some sort of sin like anger, greed or whatever.

The more logical answer revolved around too much chakra energy in its spiritual and physical nature being released at once. At death, chakra transferred into a different type of energy that dissipated through the body's chakra system naturally.

The energy was inherently different because energy released in activities by the living did not create undead servants as a side effect. If it could, in any circumstance, then it would have been established in the centuries of Shinobi killing each other in vast releases of chakra. The only exception was the Two Tailed Demon Cat that possessed chakra that specifically related to the dead.

Currently, the undead were acting as how the Daimyo and his people along with the Raikage and his people believed they would act when the first reports arrived regarding the undead. In fact, the Daimyo and the Raikage were fully prepared for the fact that the dead might rise from the mass graves. Hence, the attempts to solve the situation first with the mass grave burnings that were stopped by members of the more pious community that viewed it as a dishonor against the ancestors.

A loud explosion and flying boulders from the side of the mountain distracted both Ae and Bee from their thoughts. A large blue skeleton flew out of the mountain landing that encased an individual with ancient armor and long black hair on the ground. The Raikage stumbled out to the side of the recently made tunnel and stopped on the side.

"Fool!" the man inside the skeleton yelled. "This stops nothing! The coming darkness shall engulf this world. You merely delay the inevitable!"

The rest of the team members that were inside with the ink-encased opponents reached the end of the original tunnel to see a large black shadow dart away in the sky with a slowly disappearing giant blue skeleton. Ae and Bee were already on their way to the Raikage who was lost his Lightning Armor and coughed up globules of blood.

They landed quickly to support the falling Raikage who could no longer support his own weight. Before they could say anything, the Raikage raised his hand and sat against the tunnel wall. A large hole in the chest below the scar over his heart gushed blood. Blood dripped from the Raikage's right hand that he used to perform his Hell Stab techniques. While Ae still didn't understand how the most powerful man that he knew in the world was dead against some no-name enemy, Bee frowned in thought overhearing Gyuki's comments.

C arrived to the scene and immediately began applying pressure and attempting to heal the wounds with hands covered in medical chakra.

"The wounds are too deep," C announced with medical discipline. "He won't make it for longer than a few minutes."

Ae stepped forward with the intent of doing and saying something, but the Raikage interrupted him, "My sons, listen. My time has passed, and I die in great dishonor."

Hacking coughs followed to clear his airway from his own blood, "I leave this world in a worse state than I arrived. Learn from my mistakes, so that I may look down from the afterlife knowing that I have done something right by this village. Know this. Madara has returned from the grave to finish what he started centuries ago when the first villages were born. He seeks to destroy the Shinobi system and the world, so that he can rule over the ruins.

"This time, however, there is no Hashirama to stop his madness. When he returns to finish what he started here, Cloud must be prepared. Swallow your prides my sons for it will not avail you for the abyss that we look over. This was but an experiment - a test of his strength and capacity. With my own two hands I have destroyed the artifact he sought, but he will find a way in his hatred.

"My son of blood, you are now the Raikage, and you must move Cloud from the old ways like I could not. Bring the Elemental Nations together for we cannot weather this storm alone, and I will not see the Land of Lightning be destroyed for the sake of our pride and honor. You are stronger than me, and always have been. I have just been too blind. You just need to see it.

"My son of fate, you will be the Guardian of the Clouds to carry our village from the darkening skies that gather ahead. You have always been more than just Bee or the Power of Human Sacrifice. You represent the best of Cloud that I, in my folly, could not see. Your duty as the Guardian now is to teach the upcoming generations what I could not."

The Raikage gave a weak chuckle dotting blood on his lower lips, "Having both the ultimate shield and the ultimate spear simply means that I have always held the means of my own demise. I couldn't even see the contradiction in my own hubris. Only as I see the autumn leaves fall and winter come do I realize that I had no notion of what being a true Raikage means.

"It is neither being the strongest in the village nor being the most respected. It doesn't even mean making the decisions that no one wants to make. I watched three members of my own blood waste away as their own chakra ate them from the inside while being mentally tortured day and night by the very creature that I forced inside them in the name of power.

"In the name of power, I sought the blood of others. I saw convenient weapons to be controlled for the well being of the village. I saw weapons that could be forged with certainty unlike the Demons that plague our lands. Instead of gaining any power or making Cloud and Lightning stronger, I have done the opposite. I see my own people dying and starving and reduced to begging on the streets. Now when the enemy does arrive we are not prepared enough to even protect our ancestors.

"I was too weak to learn from the lessons of my predecessors and ancestors. We were never strong for having a particular demon or a particular bloodline. We were strong because of the people we were. We have spent too much time trying to be like others in our own false sense of jealousy and envy. I see the error of my ways when I see you my sons. When you tried to tell me of the error of my ways, Ae, I refused to listen and now I face the consequences. The way you care about others like I do not Ae and Bee makes you strong, and never lose your way in the coming darkness.

"When the perfect Power of Human Sacrifice comes from a no-name orphan at the Academy, I couldn't even open my eyes to the reality. I still deluded myself with the old ways of thinking. Not even the horrid deaths of my own nephews could teach me. Yet, I see know that we were ready for change not from tradition but towards true tradition of our ancestors."

The Raikage gave a particular harsh cough. C had sweat running into his eyes as he struggled to maintain the Raikage's life for as long as possible.

"My greatest shame is not my self-injuries, but not being brave enough to learn from my own mistakes. I pray that you, my sons, and the next generations look inward for their lessons rather than outwards in misplaced greed."

The Raikage looked forlornly outwards towards the hills and trees that surrounded the sacred mountain. He gave a weak smile and chuckle as the sun started to rise over the horizon.

"It seems that I stopped this madness before the next sunrise just not how I thought," the Raikage said. "Bee, tell the Eight Tails that I won't miss it, but I'll miss our fights. It at least made my strength worth something. Look at what sort of Raikage I turned into; my best friend was the Eight Tails."

The Raikage gave one last hollow chuckle before slowly raising his hand to C's wrist and weakly pushing it aside. He looked once more to the side at the sun breaking past the cloudy sky and sending a singular beam of light towards the group of Cloud Shinobi with a particular interest on the Raikage.

"What a bunch of romantic bullshit," the Raikage mumbled out as his head slumped against the wall and his eyes faded in focus.


	18. He Saw

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

HE SAW

* * *

A snap echoed through the underground chamber followed by a masculine moan. The Headmistress brought the leather crop to her shoulder and judged her most recent work of art. She cocked her head to one side in thought before glancing at the clock on the wall. The session was at an end.

"You've been a very bad boy, Councilman," said a feminine voice, "and I hope you've learned your lesson."

She went forward in her skin-tight black leather outfit to release the Councilman from his compromising holds. She didn't know what was wrong with most men in positions of power and under constant public scrutiny. She didn't object, though.

The hypocrisy that she held a similar public position didn't escape her. The difference existed in the small fact that she had all of her clients blindfolded, but that had the dual purpose of adding mystery and forced the body to rely on other senses. This particular client, for instance, represented the fourth commercial district of Leaf.

If the Headmistress were a gambling woman, then she would place her bets on the mid-forty-year-old man going through a midlife crisis. She gave one more perusal over the assortment of lash and paddle marks that crisscrossed the man's back, posterior and upper thighs before turning around and leaving the room.

Heading towards the private dressing room that came with renting a room at this particular establishment, the Headmistress transformed her face with a little application of chakra. It wouldn't do to be recognized for both parties should the occasion arise especially because she frequented the club on a near weekly basis.

Everyone had their guilty pleasure and wielding pure superiority and dominance over men was her pleasure just like some men desired nothing more than submitting to women. It was like fitting two puzzle pieces together.

Furthermore, she really needed this session to unwind some pent up stress this weekend. A string of incidents popped up over the past few weeks revolving around a variety of pranks perpetrated against a particular set of seventh grade bottles. The work reeked of a certain Naruto Uzumaki, but a lack of proof denied the Headmistress from dispensing justice.

It seemed that old habits died hard. Nonetheless, a situation would manifest itself where she could intervene. She just needed to be patient, and let the events unravel to their forgone conclusion. Boys would be boys and beat the snot out of each other soon enough.

The Headmistress chuckled softly to herself as she wiggled her feet from the black knee-high leather boots. While a shame that so much hard work on the part of Uzumaki-san towards becoming a better student would be lost, she should have expected a relapse. The transition of becoming the low man on the totem pole probably jarred Naruto's sense of self too much, and he felt the need to vindicate his sense of self.

While methodically removing the laces from her corset, she imagined various methods of punishment to deter such disgraceful behavior. Moving the less than salacious thoughts to the side, she looked to the riding crop on the countertop. Maybe, the situation required a return to more traditional methods of juvenile delinquency.

The boy still had too much work to catch up on in terms of his peers to be distracted by silly notions such as petty revenge. Distractions beset the path to success, and her job involved returning wayward sheep to the fold.

She was never one for temporary solutions, and it would take a lot more work on her side for even a partially permanent solution. The only real problem that demanded her attention consisted of breaking Uzumaki-san of his incorrect presumptions about the world. From her personal observations and what she could read from the boy's elementary school reports, his unique and diverse childhood distilled the boy with the most perverse ideas of societal norms and acceptable behavior that needed to be destroyed and rebuilt one by one rather than some patchwork job befitting one of Orochimaru's more abominable experiments.

While not a difficult job, Naruto's stubbornness necessitated the appropriate touch at the correct time with the right pressure. She simply had to be patient and wait for that time. If she acted too soon or too late, then the moment would be lost.

* * *

Naruto fidgeted in his seat and looked nervously at one corner of the Headmistress' office that he found interesting. Due to his growth spurt, he couldn't swing his feet and legs back and forth underneath his desk which became one of his nervous habits. Instead, he bounced one leg up and down in rapid succession. He just couldn't help it.

He refused to make eye contact with the Inuzuka bully to his left more out of sheer petulance than anything else. Naruto discovered after his introduction to the wedgie that the pain did not quickly recede. It seemed that puberty made certain parts even more sensitive than their previous delicate state.

After bottling up the pain and humiliation from that fateful day, Naruto dedicated himself to making the Inuzuka bully's life a living hell using the tactics and tricks he learned through experience in elementary school. His efforts created beautiful results. It reached the point where the Inuzuka became permanently paranoid of his surroundings like a schizophrenic patient at an insane asylum.

Apparently, his latest prank crossed the line that may or may not have referenced words and images that could be construed as bestiality by the more gutter-minded populace, but that was neither here nor there in Naruto's opinion. Nonetheless, the Inuzuka bully took particular offense to the potential allegation of bestiality because, apparently again, the Inuzuka clan did not tolerate under any circumstance accusations pertaining to less than platonic relationships with their Ninja Dogs.

Naruto will admit that he may have crossed the line, but that gave the bully no reason to begin beating the living shit out of him in front of the whole school. Granted, that may have been an exaggeration considering the fight happened after school hours. Minding his own business taking a day off from the Competitive Sparring club because he suffered a few too many blows to the head the day before, the bully confronted him with his face a berry patch of blue and black and red.

Despite being a year older and a clansman with the element of surprise, Naruto managed to land a nice shiner on the right eye that split the eyebrow. He originally aimed for the nose for the trifecta of face punches: two black eyes and a broken nose all in one hit.

Unfortunately, his blasted pup managed to jump five feet in the air and bite his wrist. Even the dog performed better at chakra-assisted jumps than he did.

The fight ended in a quick succession thereafter when the bully punched him in the cheek forcing his whole body to turn. With his back to him, the bully decided to go for the kidney punch rather than a wedgie. He would be pissing blood for a week now.

A teacher showed up after the kidney punch to drag them to the Headmistress' office. Thus, here they sat. At least, the teacher appeared this time with him appearing to be the victim. It would greatly help his alibi of being the victim.

Naruto already told his side of the story from the very moment that they met in the hallway. The overgrown fleabag at the moment blathered away on his distorted recollection of the events.

"I think I've heard enough, Inuzuka," the Headmistress stated in her usual cold tone. Naruto would have considered it a small victory if she hadn't used the same words and tone on him.

"You're both guilty for instigating and fighting on school grounds," she judged. "Traditionally, you would both have detention from now until some arbitrary date, but I've worked to have juvenile delinquents do some good for the community. You will both have to complete ten hours of community service as punishment. Here are the packets of information on how to do this. Inuzuka, your clan will be notified of your actions to do with as they please. Furthermore, I will be personally monitoring the class you have with Ryuzoji, so there will be no copying answers from other students. You may leave, Inuzuka."

While the community service would be a giant pain the ass, Naruto couldn't help a snicker at the Inuzuka's expense before he even left the room. He didn't have to worry about any punishment from a clan. It was nice to know that justice prevailed.

"Uzumaki, due to your emancipated status, you are in a unique position. My friend, the dear principle of Leaf's Kindergarten, has told me of your nefarious habits and uncanny ability to find loopholes to avoid punishment. I have already prepared for this eventuality, and with the Hokage's explicit permission, I'll be administering the punishment personally. First, let's have a talk. You have been doing so well recently, and it truly is a shame to see it all wasted," the Headmistress said with an imperceptible sigh.

Naruto's smile dropped from his face in an instant, and his face paled significantly. To say the least, this was not how this was supposed to turn out. The Headmistress scared him, and she gave off a vibe of the cat that got the cream. Plus, the wet dreams about her didn't help either. Unable to make eye contact for longer than a second, he looked at his hands that held his legs down from shaking.

"I-I-I'm doing good, Headmistress," Naruto all but whispered before remembering Mizuki's lessons and growing a backbone and making eye-contact over her shoulder. "I just felt like someone needed to do something to help Ryuzoji, and I realized that I am someone, so I helped. I just got a little over my head is all. And these hits were from the Competitive Sparring club, not him! Now, I'm going to have to miss another day in the ring."

"It is not your job or your duty to determine what needs to be done or what is right or wrong. Your duty is to obey the commands of your superiors. Should you be in doubt, then your job is to ask a superior for orders. You know where my office is, and I am always the last one off of campus.

"It saddens me to see you know better but fall into your shameful habits. I have received great reviews and reports on you from your teachers, coaches and club instructors-"

"You're spying on me!" Naruto shouted in shock.

"You will refrain from your outbursts, Uzumaki," the Headmistress chastised. "I have reports on every student. I merely read them when they are relevant, such as now. As I was saying, you have made significant improvements, which I wish to see continued. You have great potential. You just need to realize it."

Naruto blushed in recognition of the rare compliment, "Thank you, Headmistress."

"That being said, there is still a lot of hard work that needs to be done. You are only eleven years old after all. While puberty is difficult for everyone, you seem to be having a particular hard time with it. What that means is that you have to rise to the occasion, not be swept underneath it like a sewer rat in a flood.

"You must strive to do your best academically and physically while maintaining a proper image of a Shinobi of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. No body odor, no bad breath, no acne is simple basic hygiene of which you still need to work on. Being a true Shinobi, you must be able to endure pain in every form on a constant basis without showing it and allowing it to affect your ability to perform your superior's orders.

"After all, the only thing that separates us from beast is the discipline afforded to us by a chain of command. The honorable Lord Hokage will mention the Will of Fire that the First Hokage Hashirama Senju left us. The problem, as always, arises in the interpretation of the Will of Fire.

"As you can imagine Hashirama Senju belonged to a clan, and as you can imagine Hiruzen Sarutobi belongs to a clan. As a result, when they say the Will of Fire exists in the sense that everyone belongs to one large family, they are directly referring to their experiences as members of highly respected individuals in highly respected clans.

"Thus, about half of Leaf understands the Will of Fire as it is intended, while the rest interpret it as they wish. Why do you think we instruct students in the structure and protocol of the traditional clan? The idea is that the student would apply the structure into their understanding of the village.

"Of course, as instructors we go about this in a rather ham-fisted way, but your essay from fifth grade on the Will of Fire shows that it went over your head. What you believe the Will of Fire to be is your interpretation of the perfect family where everyone lives in a happy magical fairyland.

"It is not. The Will of Fire does not exist to bring back your dead parents. The Will of Fire does not exist to offer a substitute for how you imagine your life with your parents who just so happen to be perfect. The Will of Fire does not exist to make you feel included and special at the same time.

"The Will of Fire exists to bring the Shinobi clans that were once at each other's throats in the Era of Warring States to come together and to act with a singular goal. Hashirama envisioned this as if the whole village was one large clan - one large clan with a clear chain of command irrelevant to one's clan, but on the merit of the individual.

"This is where individuals who are not of some grand clan to step in with the Will of Fire. The Village Hidden in the Leaves is a meritocracy where promotions are dictated by one's capabilities, not heritage. Everyone has the ability to rise to the occasion as seen in a few of our esteemed Hokage of the past.

"You are a member of the Konoha clan. The clan does not exist to bring happiness to all of its members in a giant circle of caring love. The clan exists to protect the name. It's the name that lives one. That's all that lives on. Not your personal glory, not your honor, but family. When you and everyone you know has passed on and felt the heat of the pyre, the only thing that lives on is the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

"I hope you see this now, but you're probably wondering what this has to do with your earlier infractions. The chain of command exists, so everyone and their dog aren't running around doing what they believe to be right. We are one hand, one heart and one soul working together for a similar goal of peace and prosperity for the Land of Fire.

"You will eventually find that you may be at odds with a certain mission, but that does not give you the right to do as you please. The village exists to leash the terrible excesses of power that frequently plague Shinobi and Shinobi clans as seen with Madara the Terrible.

"By disrespecting the chain of command, you disrespect your superiors, peers, the village and the Will of Fire. Furthermore, you reveal your lack of discipline. If you lack discipline, then no one will trust you. A Shinobi that does not have anyone they can trust with their life at their back is a dead Shinobi in this world. No one wants to have the back of some knucklehead that runs with whatever whim passes his or her fancy.

"With everyone making the same sacrifices to acquire discipline, a link of understanding reaches across all true Shinobi of the Leaf that enables us to act as one hand, one heart and one soul. This, Naruto, is what makes us the premier Hidden Village.

"It is not the amount of techniques, the number of clans or bloodlines or the actions of a few specific individuals. It is the collective will of the Will of Fire that enables us to shatter our enemies no matter the odds.

"Thus, when you acted on your own volition with regards to Inuzuka and Ryuzoji, you weakened the Will of Fire and you weakened the village. I hope you can see now the error of your actions.

"You are neither the first nor the last individual who will seek to protect the weak from the strong. You will find, especially as a Shinobi, that it is not the strong who prey on the weak. Man preys upon his fellow man the moment the opportunity arises. The only thing that stops us from this bestial state, as you might guess, is the chain of command.

"Should you wish to dedicate yourself to this cause because you find yourself unable to tolerate such behavior in your fellow man, then become strong. Once you are strong, you can assert your power as a leader. Before you are a leader, though, you must be a follower, and a disobedient follower will never become a leader.

"Your duty as a student is to become as strong as possible to serve the Village Hidden in the Leaves, not for your own personal glory and honor. Once you establish your position in the hierarchy, only then can you hope to ever have a lasting improvement on the quality of mankind. Until then, you can only learn, grow stronger and obey.

"This world is a crazy place filled with mysteries within shadows hiding in enigmas, and it is the job of individuals such as myself to help guide the youth out of the darkness of ignorance and into the light of knowledge. Should you have any questions it is your duty as a student to ask, and any true teacher will help you as much as they can.

"Now, Uzumaki-san, I understand that this is harder for you than others, but I am here, as a member of our clan of the Leaf, to help you. Should you ever have any questions regarding any matter come to me no matter how trivial it may seem, and I will tell you."

Naruto blinked once. He shook his head once as he realized he was starring at her in the eyes for the past few minutes wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. The light of knowledge transformed into a hammer of knowledge in the first moments of that conversation.

While the speech had probably been the most educational thing he had ever heard since someone said to never trust a fart, he felt a distinctive need to slowly back away and run away. Naruto didn't much care for the truth of the world that the Headmistress just announced.

He firmly believed in the individual. He believed in himself. When he had nothing, he had himself. He might not have had honor or glory, but he had himself. He did not live his life to sacrifice it to be a cog in the machine.

He despised conformity. He despised self-sacrifice. The idea that someone should, given the opportunity, became a sacrifice for an idea. It is precisely the self that cannot and must not be sacrificed.

In his vision of the world, no martyrs died but lived to make the world what they, as an individual, envisioned the world. Naruto started this world with nothing but his understanding of the nature of his own loneliness. A loneliness that allowed him to view the world, and he did not see the world he imagined.

He saw apathy.

He saw a world apathetic to his plight. He saw a world that disgusted every fiber of his body just old enough to make a collective thought. A collective thought hardened by the years of knowledge and continued observation of life from the orphanage to the foster homes to his own apartment.

The apartment opened the next door in life after apathy. He had his greatest highs and greatest lows, not in the orphanage or the foster homes, but in his own apartment. He could create his own world in his apartment. He could do more and feel more in an environment where society could constrain him. Thus, when he opened the door, he rejoiced in pure joy.

He saw opportunity.

Thus, he started his life with a single absolute. An absolute that the world was his to shape in the image of his highest values and to never fall for a lower standard, no matter how long or how hard the struggle.

The Headmistress did not open any doors, but she provided clarity. She defined the struggle and gave it a face. The collective will be damned. Naruto refused to be a cog in the machine; he refused to be a number; he refused to just be another face in the crowd.

He did not struggle for that. He did not make the decisions that he did so that he could achieve his pre-designed place in life. The comfort that the status quo offered neither appealed to him nor appeased him.

He looked at the status quo and despaired. Nevertheless, an ambitious person needed to be a resourceful person. Growing up with nothing grew Naruto into an individual that could make the most out of every drop of the scraps he had and instilled with in him an ambition to improve his lot in life.

Naruto, however, in his quest for improvement lost himself. He treaded the path of no return, for he refused to fall back into the pit of despair he grew from, and he lost himself in the woods.

He wanted attention. He needed attention. He craved attention. He wanted everyone to know him and his feats and be amazed and proud. Instead, he received ridicule and flirted with the cliff of self-doubt, ever ready to fall over once more into the pit that spawned him.

Unable to cope with the sad reality of the world, he shielded his heart from the world. He would not allow his pure soul to be stained by the corruption that society spewed. His fellow man sought significance by climbing the bodies of their foes in a constant fight to be the king-of-the-hill.

The hill, however, never existed. The fallen and the vanquished became the hill for the victorious to stand upon. He would not fall for this mirage created by the perceptions of those who needed to feel validated in their existence.

Naruto would make his own existence. He would create his own legacy with his own two hands without getting mired and trapped in the collective will of a society that viewed him as a burden. He would succeed, like the Headmistress said, but he would do it for himself.

There would be no sacrifices made; no victims trampled; no enemies crushed. He would succeed without the machinations of politics of clans and villages. He would simply be the best because he was the best.

He would not deny the help that he has and will receive by the village. While the orphanage and the foster care homes didn't provide him with emotional nourishment, they did provide the most basic of needs in food, water and shelter. The monthly stipend from the village allowed him to pay for his apartment and his living expenses. The school system provided him with the ability to become strong and a basic education needed by everyone to succeed in life.

Naruto would not deny these services that the village provided him. He would embrace them. He would exploit these resources for all that he could, as they were meant to be. He took these resources provided to him by the village for granted but no longer.

If he were to make the most of life, then he would have to take the most from life.


	19. The Bottle

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

THE BOTTLE

* * *

"I'm tired of these games," Ino interjected into the debate about which game they should follow up with their dull game of 'would you rather'. Before that was truth or dare and before that was 'two truths, one lie' and before that was Ino's suggestion of 'never have I ever'.

They all turned out the same in Naruto's opinion. As it turned out, eleven and twelve year olds did not live exciting and earth-shattering lives.

"You're just upset that," Choji stopped mid-sentence to take another handful of chips from his bag, "you had to lick Kiba's face."

Both Ino and Kiba glared at Naruto, but for completely different reasons. Ino hated it, and Kiba liked it way more than he should. Naruto always had a special way of getting everyone to hate him.

"At least I let you wash his face first," Naruto said to defend himself, "or you would have licking Akamaru's tongue with the way he's all over him."

"Anyway, I was thinking -," Ino started to explain.

"- that you could put that tongue to better uses," Naruto interrupted with a lecherous grin.

Kiba didn't have the sole pleasure of enjoying to see Ino's tongue all the way out of her mouth. Kiba revolutionized Naruto's life when he handed him a box full of dirty magazines and his personal Come, Come Paradise collection. According to Kiba, his sister threatened to burn it all one day when she walked in on him 'going at it', so Kiba wanted Naruto to store them until things blew over.

Fortunately, Naruto didn't have to worry about that ever actually happening because Kiba always managed to piss his sister off somehow, and his sister had the stereotypical Inuzuka temperamental behavior. While the magazines and the centerfold girls worked the best for the quickie in the morning and evening, Jiraiya-sama truly mastered the art of prose in his divinely inspired works of art.

Naruto had no idea that words could be used in such a magnificent fashion, but he quickly became a devout follower of Jiraiya-sama's gospel of love. It came as no surprise to Naruto to learn that Jiraiya-sama also held the title for the world's greatest seal master. Naruto would sacrifice his left nut to be Jiraiya-sama's apprentice without hesitation, but Naruto's lackluster connections would make that a dream for another life.

Also, Naruto needed to confront Kiba about his heresy against the books and even the magazines. Naruto had to be careful to turn some pages, especially of girls dressed as cats, because the pages stuck together for some reason. He didn't really care too much about the Come, Come Paradise novels anymore because he quickly became a patron of the arts and spent his weak amount of disposable income on as much of the novels as he could buy.

While clear black letter laws existed banning adult stores from selling to minors, Naruto found a way to bypass the precautions. Where there was a will; there was a way. At the beginning of the new nine-week semester, the middle school taught the first ninjutsu known as the Transformation Technique. The ability to change one's appearance at will answered Naruto's prayers for salvation.

Unlike Kiba who could snatch the educational material second-hand from his myriad of cousins who probably got it second-hand from their elders in a weird coming-of-age male clan tradition, Naruto needed to acquire his sources from the actual vendors. Unfortunately, no one seemed to throw away his materials. While food stall vendors would frequently throw away the day's unsold merchandise or sell it at a deep discount for no apparent reason in Naruto's opinion, adult stores had no obligation due to their goods non-perishable nature.

It didn't really make sense to Naruto because even clothes stores eventually sold their goods at a discount, donated them or sold them to a discount store that Naruto to buy all of his clothes. While some people felt the need to wear the same outfit everyday, Naruto disagreed. What was life without a little color? Well, that explained his fetish for orange, but he enjoyed wearing different outfits, too. For instance, a nice sky blue or golden yellow never hurt anyone, but he was slightly biased on that account.

While the Transformation Technique would allow him in the door, he had to present a valid adult identification card at the check out. In terms of genjutsu, middle school courses only covered the ability to identify and dispel genjutsu techniques which Naruto could barely pass. The educational system determined that teaching a bunch of middle school children the ability to mess with other people's heads required a few more years of maturity.

Fortunately, Naruto's habit of going around the tables during lunch paid off when he explained his plight to the group of sketchy kids who liked to grow their hair out and have it cover their eyes all the time. Apparently, they had expired identification cards from their older relatives who passed them on their younger siblings for these exact purposes. Well, not exactly, as they used them to purchase alcoholic and tobacco products instead.

One of the dudes at the table even gave him one for free. Naruto had no idea why. When Naruto gave him a bone crushing hug and lifted the surprisingly thin guy from the ground resulted in a priceless facial expression. The Akimichi diet plan combined with the morning and afternoon exercise regimes he continued from Mizuki really paid off. Also, Naruto decided to ignore the rather vigorous assgrab that someone gave him in the middle of the hug.

While it wouldn't be the first time Naruto had caught a case of slight hands, Naruto had becoming increasingly wary of stealing. An increasing sense of morality had invaded Naruto's thoughts, and he currently treaded on thin ice with the Headmistress. His recent antics with the Transformation Technique to privately discover the female body had him over the Headmistress' knee and an inability to sit comfortably for a week.

The whole situation went way beyond awkward and embarrassing for his body going through puberty. He totally sported far more than a reasonable chub from the moment her infamous meter stick struck his bare bottom. Naruto had no doubt that the Headmistress knew, but made no reference to his little friend that couldn't keep its head down.

Furthermore, he couldn't help the images of his various wet dreams involving the Headmistress in similar situations from flashing across his tightly closed eyes. The scene eerily correlated with the first Come, Come Paradise novel that Naruto bought with his own money. Then again, the novel had the title 'The Headmistress' Punishment'.

Naruto barely had the time to pull up his pants and boxers before he ran out of the office when the Headmistress dismissed him. It didn't matter for long because he quickly found himself in the nearest boy's restroom stall discovering what it felt like rubbing one out while standing. He didn't like the feeling of almost going to his knees on a grimy bathroom floor. He didn't understand how girls could do it in the magazines. Then again, where were these unisexual bathroom stalls with conveniently placed holes?

Despite the awkward relationship that Naruto had with the Headmistress, he didn't let his gutter-thoughts get in his way. He frequented her office for advice on an almost weekly basis due to his difficulty with certain courses. Also, she had brilliant ideas all on her own to help Naruto specifically. For instance, she recommended that for his community service that he interned with one of her friends in the Sealing Arts department.

While the job seemed to consist solely of getting everyone in the office coffee at seemingly every hour of the day, his understanding of the Sealing Arts shot forward tremendously. Naruto's usual tasks involved procuring certain materials needed for the actual sealing process such as pigments for the ink, shipments of different quality parchment, books from other divisions and a variety of miscellaneous resources.

When they couldn't find a task for him to go complete, they let him shadow which meant that he could watch them do their work at making specific seals. If a Shinobi or a customer needed a certain seal and had both the clearance and funds, then they could make a request at the Hokage's Office in the same regard as a mission request. Shinobi, of course, received a discount, and the work would be free if required for a mission for good reasons.

Due to a lack of work one day, the Headmistress' friend toured him across the building filled with the machinery that mass-produced explosion and storage seals. The friend said that the Sealing division repurposed newspaper print machines, but the special ink and parchment required for sealing slowed down the process significantly compared to a simple newspaper.

In another building away from the insanely loud machines, Shinobi for extra pay would use their chakra to seal the ink to the parchment. Simply placing ink on parchment did not make a seal. Naruto also learned that day to keep his mouth shut and not offer information freely. He spent the rest of the day honing his sealing and chakra control skills walking away exhausted. The look of amazement on all of the adult's faces at his absurd amount of chakra, however, made the experience worth it.

Also, one of the higher ups in the division liked to talk out loud about his work while working. While his thoughts tended to be spotty at best, he did offer keen insights in the Sealing Arts that Naruto didn't think about that he could add into his Sealing Club reports. It would also help in his application to work at the division if the guy had a say in the application process. Nonetheless, that would be a long time from now because Naruto had every intention of working in the field when he eventually graduated from high school.

When Naruto described all of the success in his Sealings Arts development thanks to his pseudo-internship to the Headmistress, she claimed that Naruto must learn better through work than in theoreticals. This explained his ability to do better in science and math class after the experiments and word problems, but only so much could be actualized instead of theoretical.

Unfortunately, someone at the division sent a notice to the Headmistress about Naruto's tendency to get too handsy with the work. Apparently, they considered it bad behavior to look at the missives and seals for a little bit before handing them over. While the note wouldn't have him bent over the task for a paddling, a note about his tendency to stare for prolonged periods of time at one of the female worker's gigantic double-D bust definitely would.

Over the past few months, Naruto's discovery of his own sexuality had been putting him in more trouble than his pranks ever had. In other words, he would think with his other head, and his other head had all the wrong ideas. Naruto had no idea that women maintained such sensitive attitudes regarding his attention. They should be flattered really.

He didn't mind when he received any attention or admiring looks. In fact, he went out his way to accentuate his features as much as he could in his school uniform. Originally, he thought only boys cared about girl's butts, but after overhearing a few girls gossiping about their favorite features about men his opinion changed in a 180 direction. Apparently, everyone loved butts. He really shouldn't have been that surprised because he knew that the Headmistress liked to watch his tush jiggle a little after some swats.

Unfortunately, the rest of the conversation became disappointing when the girls rambled on about the weirdest features like a guy's height, jawline, forearms and back muscles. Naruto didn't know what that was about, but he didn't like it one bit. All of that hard work to get steel pecs, washboard abs and killer biceps, and they didn't even appreciate all the hard work. Girls, on the other hand, had it so easy. Just having an hourglass figure worked for him with an emphasis on the little bitty waist with a round thing in your face.

Hell, he had to hold back from acknowledging the assgrab from the guy because he had no intention of potentially stopping such actions in the future. Naruto might not be the same attention whore as when Mizuki found him, but old habits die hard. Plus, for a free adult identification card that allowed him to reach the promised lands of the adult entertainment store, he'd let anyone give his tuckus a few good squeezes.

It didn't escape his attention that his recent workouts and dieting gave him a massive bubble butt. A day didn't end or start without him spending a few good minutes checking himself out and posing in the mirror after a nice shower. He finally started to see some definition and bulk in his muscles after his body had time to recover from that growth spurt that only made him average in height. It took a month, however, just to get that because one would think he hadn't had a meal in two months. He looked like a twig ready to snap in the wind at first.

Nonetheless, the muscles still had the young muscle look because he still had some baby fat kicking around his features. They already started giving students that didn't have certain reactions alchemical concoctions to improve muscle strength, bone density, tendon endurance, the rate of healing and boosts to the immune system. While chakra acted as a natural improver for all parts of the body compared to an individual that didn't work out their chakra system, the study of alchemy provided significant improvements that couldn't be ignored in the hyper-competitive landscape of the Shinobi systems.

With the age of modern Shinobi medicine ushered in by Tsunade Senju, alchemical potions, doses and elixirs along with vaccines, inoculations and pseudo-steroids became a constant regime for Shinobi to take over the course of their career. Thanks to Tsunade, the average lifespan for everyone in the world increased by fifteen years with the average lifespan for Shinobi, especially in Konoha, doubling their life spans.

One of the biggest concerns for Leaf revolved around maintaining the medical secrets to have a competitive advantage. Of course, that went out the window, when Orochimaru abandoned Leaf for his own machinations and sold the secrets to the other villages for a hefty sum. Needless to say, Tsunade did not take the information well and placed a sizable personal bounty on the already world breaking bounty that the Hokage's Office placed on his head.

The real pain in the ass came with the thrice-damned injections. Naruto never liked needles in the first place, but he quickly grew a phobia of them. The phobia became so bad he lost his fetish for women in sexy nurse and doctor outfits and would instead run away and avoid the appointment at all costs.

He had a theory that female nurses and doctors learned a special ability to calm people down before they administer potentially painful medicine. How else could they convince completely sane and rational men into the devilry known as injections? Women didn't count because they never had sanity or rationality. They clearly used minor genjutsus on sensitive patients such as babies, and they probably still projected calming illusions on him that he didn't have the skills to break.

Unfortunately for both the medical professionals and him, the genjutsus did not have the proper strength to overwhelm his fear of needles. Also, it didn't help that he constantly flared his chakra and shouted 'Release!' all the time in the middle of a crowded hospital. Now, they resulted to taking advantage of his body going through puberty with their sexual advances, but they ruined that guilty pleasure of his.

He would gratefully assume the position in the Headmistress' office everyday if he could avoid taking his shots. He still had nightmares about that one needle that needed to be injected into his bones for some reason that Naruto didn't hear over the sound of his blood and heart pumping in his head.

To bypass the hell that Naruto raised, someone would just put a heavy genjutsu on him to make him more open to suggestion. They might have taken away the pain of the shot, but they didn't take away the fact that he couldn't use his left arm for a week. Naruto hated it when he couldn't practice in the Competitive Sparring club, and he especially hated it when he couldn't perform all of his morning and afternoon training sessions to their maximum.

Also, Naruto remembered making a fool of himself in the Headmistress' office and saying things he really shouldn't have said. Fortunately, he didn't remember exactly what he said, but he had this dull idea that whatever he said shouldn't have been said. Although some good came of it because she started doing a few things differently in their meetings that resembled the actions Naruto had in his dreams.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said when he came back to Earth. "Did you say something?"


	20. Season of the Wedgies

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

SEASON OF THE WEDGIES

* * *

Ino's eyes tightened into slits, and she trembled in barely controlled anger. Just as quickly, she straightened her back, waved her hair over her shoulder and tilted her chin up, "I was just talking about your meetings with the Headmistress."

Naruto's eyes grew into plates, and he trembled in barely controlled fear. Naruto found out that Ino did not make false threats, and the trick lay in catching the threats. Ino didn't fight fair. She used her barbed tongue and whispers behind people's backs to get her way. Also, she had this weird way of finding out everyone's hidden skeletons in the closets that made the perfect material for her gossiping habit.

Naruto might not have been the smartest person in the world, but he could learn his lessons. The first and last time he truly pissed Ino off his introduction to the world of middle school swirlies and wedgies became the topic of conversation for literally everyone in school. She didn't even hide the awkward state of arousal he suffered through the wedgie.

It got so bad that people didn't even try to hide the fact that they clearly talked about him in the hallways. Everyday someone tried their hand at pulling down his pants, giving him a wedgie or trying to give him a swirly. Granted, he always wore a belt according to the school dress code, and he could wiggle his way and make enough commotion to avoid any attempt of a swirlie.

He couldn't avoid, however, the stupid game that Ino probably made up to determine which pair of boxers he decided to wear that day. She could hold a grudge, too, he learned. Everyone felt the need to know the color and design of his boxers by giving them a harsh tug.

They wedgied him when he walked through the hallways, when he walked to school, when he stayed after school and when he changed in the locker rooms. He could be in class, and they would lean over their seats and give him a wedgie. It didn't matter the grade or the gender as some of the more butch-like women loved to give him a wedgie.

He had no doubt that Ino revealed his schedule to everyone. Fortunately, she didn't detail his morning and afternoon routines, or he would have snapped. While a social butterfly and general attention whore, he needed his private time.

His growing bubble butt didn't help either. He tried to recruit the aid of his friends like Kiba, but they couldn't even do anything. As Kiba said, they had better things to look after his ass, literally.

Within a week's time, he discovered that more than one type of wedgie existed such as the frontal wedgie that the girls preferred to give him. The all-around wedgie pulled his boxers in the rear, the front and the sides. The over-the-head, jock-lock and hanging wedgie on the coat hook of the woman's stall that Naruto already experienced along with the bouncing wedgie he first performed on himself to tear his own boxers.

The hanging wedgie also applied to fences and even the flagpoles in the back of the school Naruto learned with slight variations for doorknobs to classrooms and swings in the nearby playground for the elementary school. The chair wedgie happened a few times where they would wedgie him until his underwear went over the seat while holding him down in his seat.

Even the clans who usually considered themselves above the common rabble joined in on the fun with the exception of the Hyuga and the Uchiha that actually helped stop the incidents whenever they could. Unfortunately, the enemy had too many in their ranks, but the fact that they still tried to uphold the law, so to speak, caused Naruto to gain new amounts of respect and admiration for their job.

The Sarutobi clan would use their staves to give him twisty wedgies and propeller wedgies that usually hurt the most. The Akimichi liked to pour hot sauce, chocolate syrup, honey and other food items down his underwear before starting the wedgie. Naruto had no idea why they had such items on them in the first place. The Aburame could actually be rather cruel with their itchy and fire-ant wedgies.

The Nara clan liked the hog-tied wedgie to practice their binding jutsus, and the Yamanaka clan would practice their mind-techniques to have Naruto wedgie himself. The feeling of having someone else in his body worried Naruto far more than the wedgie itself, but they always found a way to make him look like an idiot in front of everyone. They would first have him pull his own belt off, pull his pants down and wedgie himself allowing for everyone else to join in a gang wedgie.

The stronger students would use him as a weird training device like the Inuzuka did with a few curls by performing a dragging wedgie, a sliding wedgie, the squeaky clean wedgie, the fireman's carry wedgie and the pile-driver wedgie. If they caught him on the training fields where middle-schoolers practiced in the Games reserved for seventh and eighth graders, then they would really use him as a training exercise with the special muddybuddy and nature wedgies where they would put mud, grass and leaves in his boxers. They also had no reservation to use the watering hose for drinking to give him a wet wedgie or use the ice in the cooler for a frosty wedgie.

Naruto's first solution to the problem didn't help out at all. Kiba's advice to pick the biggest guy in the school and punch him straight in the face to show dominance turned out to be beyond retarded. The guy and his friends just dragged him to the locker room and wedgied him senseless. He could literally taste his boxers because they put his waistband into his mouth.

The Headmistress and the fellow staff knew about the situation, and they gave out swift and decisive punishments to the guilty. Naruto also did not hesitate in using every ounce of his trickster capabilities to make as many people's lives hell as possible. Of course, that just made the wedgies worse and more frequent. Eventually, the school hobby subsided but only after more than a month of Naruto punching and kicking everyone that tried to give him a wedgie.

More than a few school brawls, broken noses and black eyes resulted from Naruto's lack of caring anymore due to frustration and the training from the Competitive Sparring Club. His friend, club members and the most of the sixth grade helped him out after getting their initial fill in the matter around the time the clans and the jocks joined in on the fun.

He forgave everyone with a few exceptions for the extremely persistent students that loved to be bullies Naruto guessed. An unintended consequence resulted from Naruto's personal amnesty program that the people he forgave helped him the most.

In the end of the Season of the Wedgies, Naruto replaced piles of ruined boxers with new ones and gained quite a few friends and acquaintances along the way. While he hated the wedgies and the embarrassments, he loved being the center of attention. Everyone now knew his name and met him even if under less than desirable circumstances or straight up adversarial.

He just didn't realize how much people he actually annoyed which they decided to share when giving him a wedgie. As a head's up, he liked to remind them that he didn't like them that much right now either. It seemed his innocent pranks that he pulled in elementary school didn't go so well against the general populace.

Naruto never really had a fear of showing his body, and with the recent changes to his height and weight, he wanted to share the fact with everyone. He liked to think the girls looked at him in a different light now especially considering their previous disgust for him they developed throughout elementary school for his less than savory image and habits. Also, chicks dig confidence he learned, and he had it in spades. If only he could have strutted his stuff without his ass showing every time, then it would have been perfect. Furthermore, he could have done without a few of the more intimate features that sometimes accidently revealed themselves.

Thus, the Season of the Wedgies allowed him to change his appearance to everyone, and a few people even acknowledged his improvements and congratulated him even if they didn't say those exact words. Naruto just wished it could have happened without all the pain.

In a form of apology without an actual apology, Ino gave him enough money to cover the replacement expenses he incurred along with a copious amount of decent clothes. Apparently, she considered herself a fashionista, and her father never denied his little girl anything. Hence, the clothes had better fabric than he ever would have spent the money for at his discount shops.

Naruto never looked a gift horse in the mouth, and he didn't plan on starting now. While he wore the school uniform like everyone else, he had to wear something for the weekends and before and after school. Plus, Ino actually did have a good sense of fashion if he ignored her obsession for matching everything to his blue eyes which she considered his best feature. Needless to say, he had every shade of blue possible in his boxers collection alone. One of which he properly had the pleasure of wearing right now.

Thus, he knew how to handle these situations, "I really like that outfit of yours Ino. Is it new?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes but dropped the issue anyway before Kiba could interject, "Hey, what do you mean his meetings with the Headmistress."

"As I was saying," Ino said completely ignoring Kiba, "We are going to be-"

"Spin the bottle: seven minutes in heaven for yes and piece of clothing, usual rules, for no regardless of gender," Shikamaru announced.

"Hey!" Ino snapped and pointed the empty soda bottle at Shikamaru. "Don't interrupt me. I was saying that -"

"Spin the bottle Ino-pig," the pink haired girl named Sakura Haruno said in mirth. Naruto in elementary school had a crush on the girl that quietly died as Naruto became more and more of a rebellious punk. She had an attractive physique and features especially her jade green eyes, but her personality type just didn't do it for Naruto. She had a self-confidence issue that Naruto could relate to that she had to answer all the questions in class that came off extremely annoying.

While the pot may be calling the kettle black, she unfortunately developed a mean streak from his friendship with Ino that Naruto really did not like. Also, her pencil-thin build she inherited from Ino didn't do anything to reignite Naruto's crush. He needed some curves on his women, and Ino and Sakura didn't have anything happening in the upstairs or downstairs department.

They haven't passed their development phase by any stretch of the imagination, but Kunoichi and Shinobi both had puberty earlier and finished earlier compared to those who don't exercise their chakra networks. Thus, Naruto expected a little definition somewhere. Hell, he hated a bigger butt than the both of them combined.

"Shut up, Forehead-girl," Ino shouted but put the bottle in the middle of the large group of sixth graders. Also, Sakura had a forehead the size of a globe. Naruto took an evaluative look around the group.

Some upper middle class kid's parents left Leaf for a business trip to some city or another and wouldn't be in town for a week. Thus, rich kids did what rich kids did. They threw parties. The kid had the smarts to invite Ino being Ino with her female clique and Naruto being Naruto with his male clique along with the rich kid's own clique of friends. The party would be a pool party in the day with a sleepover as an excuse to stay late into the night. A whole party without any parental supervision with everyone telling their parents some fib or another.

During the day, they all partied in the kid's pool in the backyard where Naruto got to show off and see a few ones himself. With middle school, the girls switched from their off-putting one-piece swimsuits into the super sexy two-piece swimsuits that left nothing to the imagination. He personally wore the tiger striped swimming trunks that Ino bought him. Although a little loose in the waist that he accidentally discovered when he decided to break-in the pool party with a super cool flip dive, they went just far enough down the legs to not be too short while still show off his quads.

Now, everyone sat in a large circle after drying off and unfortunately changing clothes and doing stupid stuff like putting on shirts. All in all about twenty people attended the party and just ate their fair share of pizza and soda they ordered. Choji, Kiba and himself ate a small pizza all by themselves, which ended up working because some of the girls claimed to be on a diet that didn't consist of pizzas or sodas.

"Wait!" some random girl shouted. "Let's all brush our teeth first!"

Everyone broke up and went to their separate sections of the house that just consisted of a guy and a girl section. All the boys and the girls started brushing or waiting to brush their teeth and spruce up, while gossiping about who they want to be their seven minutes in heaven with. Naruto had his eyes on basically all the girls, but Ino and Sakura because he really didn't want to have to put up with that bullshit.

In fact, he would rather just have all the girls strip anyway because then everyone could enjoy it. Naruto didn't plan on his luck of the devil to pay now when he had it all go up in flames with the Season of the Wedgies. He still couldn't believe how far that spread like wildfire.

He might be wearing his pajama suit that Ino also bought him at the moment, but he started sleeping naked after actually reading an article in one of those dirty magazines. Granted, he had no intention of getting that buddy-buddy with the people here, so he was just going to wear his boxers. In reality, though, he stopped being embarrassed by anything anymore thanks to the Season of the Wedgies.

This would allow him to show his alpha dominance in front of the men and show the new Naruto around the girls. He read it another article in one of the magazines. They actually had good stuff in them to read while on the toilet.

Soon, everyone returned to the circle after brushing their teeth, freshening up, applying liberal doses of mouthwash and deodorant and making sure no one put on extra clothes to wussy out. If the person the bottle landed on said no, then they would have to take off a piece of clothing. If the person said yes but the spinner said no, then the spinner would have to take off a piece of clothing.

"Host spins first," Ino declared acting like a queen bee before tossing the bottle.

While the rich kid went to the middle of the circle, Naruto decided to waggle his tongue suggestively to Ino who rolled her eyes. He stopped to give the cute girl across the way a wink. The bottle spun as the host jumped back to avoid bumping into the bottle. Of course, a battle soon followed on who it actually landed on because it landed half way between Choji and one of the blushing cute girls that the host actually invited.

A lose-lose situation in Naruto's opinion considering he had to intention in seeing Choji taking off any clothes, and the girl would clearly go for the seven minutes in heaven. The solution arrived when Shikamaru suggested getting a measuring tape, which hit the tip of the girl's knee.

Naruto nodded his head in acceptance and also at Shikamaru's understated genius. The dude's laziness gave the sin of sloth a new definition, but Naruto didn't mind pestering him until he gave him an answer. Of course, he didn't realize this until he asked him for a solution to all of the wedgies. His simple yet elegant answer, 'No underwear', made Naruto feel mentally handicapped, but he also grew a vast amount of respect for the pineapple hairdo.


	21. Seven to Heaven

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

SEVEN TO HEAVEN

* * *

While the two lovebirds sang in the closet, the group timed seven minutes. Naruto spent the whole time shamelessly flirting with the girl sitting next to him. Well, not really flirting, but after living his first ten years in relative isolation, Naruto loved to get to know people. Everyone had a story; he just had to ask and listen.

At the loud ring of the timer, a flurry of commotion from the closet could be heard all the way into the large living room. In the beginning, a brief argument over whether or not the spectators should just barge into the closet at the seven minute mark where Naruto definitely argued for not doing that. Partly to piss Ino off because she would thoroughly enjoy interrupting two in the middle of sucking face and partly because he had high hopes for what he could pull of in the closet.

The blushing and frazzled duo returned from the closet and sheepishly took their seats to the sound of Naruto, Kiba and a few others hooping-and-hollering. Naruto could tell something good happened in the closet judging from their wet red lips and slightly wrinkled clothes.

"So, how was it?" Ino said trailing off suggestively.

"Screw that," Kiba interrupted. "Did ya use tongue?"

"Kiba!" Sakura said in alarm with a few other giggles and gasps. Ino and Naruto just shrugged thinking that Kiba asked the real question.

"Well?" Kiba pestered. The girl tried to hide her head in her shoulders and looked at her lap with a face as bright as Sakura's red pajamas. The boy on the other hand tried to act coy but the giant grin and the slight nodding ruined the attempted effect.

"Nice, dawg, way to go," Kiba responded as the all the guys around the host started fist bumping and patting him on the back. Kiba, however, hadn't finished asking his impromptu game of twenty questions.

"Ya touch her, you-know-whats," he said while motioning towards his chest.

"Kiba!" Sakura really shouted in alarm. "Don't answer that question either!"

"Oh, don't be a bunch of wusses," Kiba defended.

"Keep your tongue in your mouth, dog-boy," Ino interjected to save the girl from straight up fainting in embarrassment. "You're getting your pervy slobber everywhere. Anyway, who gets the bottle next Mr. Lucky?"

The boy handed it to one of his equally rich friends who spun the bottle managing in a stroke of luck to have the girl next to Naruto take her top off. A few boys booed jokingly but quickly shut their traps when she revealed her decent pair kept in a tight bra. The pattern continued of all of the boys passing it to a next boy, and people taking their tops off or disappearing to the closet for their seven minutes in heaven.

Eventually, a shirtless Kiba got a hold of the bottle which actually landed on the host's girl who had regained her composure after a few pairs went to the closet. Kiba handed the bottle to Naruto that still had all of his clothes. Naruto rubbed the bottle in both of his hands nervously. This could be the moment he had his first kiss, and he knew it would be magical.

He stood up and moved the bottle to the topless girl at his side asking for good luck. She blew the top of the bottle making a slight noise which turned out to be way more seductive than Naruto intended and needed a few moments to regain his senses at Ino and Kiba's jest. Taking a deep breath, he spun the bottle as hard as he could without it flying off and hitting someone like one random boy previously did.

The bottle spun around the room, and Naruto crossed his fingers in hope. The bottle started to slow down more and more coming to the girl sitting next to Naruto. His eyes widened and his breathing accelerated in anticipation.

"Stop, stop, stop," he chanted far louder than he knew.

The bottle stopped just in time before it would have passed her. Naruto's first kiss had arrived, and he felt the adrenaline flowing through his yearning body.

"Seven minutes in heaven?" Naruto asked with a giant and open smile.

"Yes," she answered with a small smile and raised her hand up delicately. Naruto took the invitation and gave a little kiss on the hand-

"-Wait! Stop!" Ino shouted and stood up with all of her clothes.

"Stop what?" Naruto shouted back.

"Don't move!" Ino continued to shout before pointing at their sitting neighbors. "Make sure none of them move an inch. Pass me the measuring tape."

"Hey! Stop that!" Naruto pleaded with far too much desperation in his voice for his liking. "Ino just go sit back down. Everyone knows it landed on her, right guys?"

Naruto didn't like the answer filled with half shrugs. He looked back at the bottle. Yes, the bottle landed on the edge but no different than the very first spin. Naruto took a deep calming breath. Ino just wanted to rustle his jimmies, and she succeeded. Once this whole needless show ended and Ino got her revenge for his tongue remark, he would be on his way to the first step towards manhood.

Ino dragged the measuring tape out. Naruto didn't like the fact that she didn't even have to ask him to move. The tape stretched out and didn't hit anyone but Naruto's empty spot in the circle. Ino at that moment had a very punchable face.

"She, um, ya know, was sitting down, ya know, now she, ya know, moved and stuff" Naruto stuttered. "So really it would have hit her, ya know."

"I don't think so," someone else stated.

"I demand a second opinion," Naruto growled.

Kiba's uncontrollable rough barking laughter followed, "Here's your second opinion. It doesn't even touch her by two inches at least."

Naruto flustered, "That's not true, and y'all know that!"

Looking around the group, everyone shook their head no, and Naruto almost lost it when he landed on Ino's smug face. Naruto pointed in her face rudely, "You moved it!"

"No one moved anything including themselves, Naruto," Shikamaru interjected as the annoying voice of reason. "Just accept it."

Naruto looked back at the cute girl whose hand he currently held. She just gave a weak sorry. 'When did the injustices of the world end?' Naruto lamented in his head.

"Now's the real question," Ino said with a knowing smirk. "What happens if it lands on yourself? We never made that rule."

"Uh, nothing," a fully clothed Choji said.

"Oh, don't be boring, dawg," Kiba said with far too much energy for Naruto's liking at the moment. "Double the punishment!"

"Wait!" Naruto shouted waving his hands back and forth.

"Take off two pieces!" Ino yelled in exuberance.

"Yeah, double it!" the host said.

"Host's rules!" Ino shouted in glee. "Off it goes, Na-ru-to."

"Wait! Let's guess what Naruto's boxers are today. We haven't played that game in weeks," on of the other topless girls suggested. Naruto gave the girl an ugly eye, but she didn't notice while trying to gain support.

"Deal, let's place bets," Ino accepted immediately.

"Wait, you mean you've been taking bets on this," Naruto accused.

"How do you think you got all of clothes in the first place," Ino said.

"Wait, but we already know," Kiba said. "We all got dressed in the same room after the pool."

"It's a girl's only bet and no hints or suggestions or anything like that," Ino said off to the side as she pulled out a notepad and pencil from a previous game set aside. "How aboutcha?"

Naruto gave Ino a weird look, "Why would I bet?"

"Not you, you idiot," Ino said waving her hand around his side. "Try the girl behind you. We've got the classic orange, green and blue bets with medium bets on grey, white, pink, etcetera, etcetera with the long bets on red and black like usual."

"That's a good question," she said with a playful smile and looking him up and down. "I'd want to say blue, but he is already wearing a blue pajama set. Hmm. I would have to guess that he is wearing his lucky pair, too. Shame they weren't that lucky. So, really the question is what Naruto's favorite pair of boxers are-"

"This way too much information about Naruto's choice of underwear," Kiba interrupted with disgust. Naruto would have to agree, but hot chicks could talk about him all day long for all he cared. He needed to regain his control of the situation. He may have lost the battle, but he didn't lose the war.

"Shut up, Kiba," Naruto said with a coy smile and sticking his thumbs on his waistband while rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet. "They can wonder all day about what's in my pants."

Ino snorted, but the cute girl replied, "I'd image Naruto's favorite choice would be just that fish cakes, so twenty on white and twenty on pink."

"Bets in," Ino said after grabbing the two ryo notes from the girl. Naruto would totally make out with her. She had good looks, smarts, a sense of humor and just the right amount of daring. Like they said in the Competitive Sparring Club, roll with the punches.

Naruto started swaying his hips to some hidden rhythm from his position still standing the middle of the circle. He slowly unbuttoned his top while only making eye contact with his clothes or the cute girl in front of him.

"Get on with it already!" Kiba shouted to a chorus of yeahs from the guys.

"I've got more girls wanting me to take off my pants, then you will have in your whole life," Naruto retorted slapping his butt in Kiba's direction. "I'm taking advantage of it."

"Whatever, dawg," Kiba said. "Anyone want some water, while this idiot has his lime light."

Naruto ignored them as he shrugged his shoulders out of his half-unbuttoned top to show off his chest. Naruto had absolutely no idea what to do, but the key had always been confidence and that hadn't changed. He took the last three buttons off while undulating his somewhat defined tummy before throwing the shirt over Ino who scoffed.

With the shirt off, Naruto went back to placing his thumbs and dragging them across his pajama bottoms' waistband. He brought both thumbs to the front before he felt a pair of hands holding his wrists. Looking up in shock, he saw that the cute girl kneeling in front of him and looking straight into his eyes.

His body went limp as all thoughts left. Images of girls in similar positions in both the magazines and novels flashed through his head. She gently moved his arms to the side to hang limply. His hands percolated with sweat, his teeth worried his bottom lip and his chest rose and fell in quick succession. He could faint and die a happy man.

She undid the shoe-string-like cords done in a knot in the front with slow deliberate pulls. His heart hammered in his head. She raised her position from her knees to where the bottom of her chin reached his navel and looked straight down. She brought her hands underneath his navel to open up the pants to where only she could see.

He heard Kiba drop the waters we carried from the kitchen in the distant part of his brain, but Naruto couldn't care less. She briefly looked up into Naruto's eyes and dilated pupils before opening the front of his pants more and taking a peek.

She quickly looked up with a large smile that caused his heart to fly out of his chest as she screamed, "Yatta!" and promptly pulled down his pajama bottoms in one single motion. Naruto died with a lecherous smile on his face, his pants at his ankles and an extremely happy girl on her knees in front of him.

True to the girl's analysis the green boxers had spiky white fish cakes with pink swirls littered across them. Fortunately, the fly also had a button sewed into them because Naruto without a doubt showed some of his excitement at the moment with a slight hump. No one, however, paid any attention to that little detail as Ino started to dole out the concessions as the broker.

The girl got up from her position, grabbed Naruto's whiskered face with both of her lands and landed a loud kiss on top of his lips before running to Ino to collect her sizeable share of the winnings. Naruto felt completely used, and he didn't give a care in the world as his mind and heart fluttered in the clouds above his head.

By the time the appropriate girls received their winnings, Naruto had time to regain his bearings with the help of Kiba squirting some water in his face. Without any commotion, he just sat down in his spot looking at the bottle staring at him, and the girl walking towards him with a mega watt smile and counting her money in green pajama bottoms and a matching bra.

"Your turn, Ms. Pink and White," Naruto said with a huge smile.

She looked up at him from her earnings with a smirk and back down at the bottle. She bent down to pick it up purposefully scrunching her shoulders forward to grab the bottle. She brought it forward to Naruto's mouth who kissed it and blew on it for good luck. Going back to the center, she bent over giving Naruto a good look at her rear, gave a look over her shoulders at him and spun the bottle.

The bottle, of course, didn't land anywhere near Naruto but on a shirtless Shikamaru. Let the drama begin. Naruto clearly did not want her and Shikamaru to have seven minutes in Heaven, but Shikamaru could say no and strip to his boxers. Shikamaru could just as easily say yes, and the cute girl could answer yes or no which would force her to strip to her panties.

"Tch, troublesome blonde," Shikamaru said gave a long-winded sigh that take all the air out of his chest. He promptly stood up and pulled down his antler pajama bottoms to reveal a pair of drab gray boxer shorts. Naruto just shrugged in Shikamaru's direction with a whispered, 'Bro Code.'

The game continued in the hands of the girls, but the girls revealed their devious nature. If the bottle landed on another girl, then they would just have their seven minutes of heaven by just chit-chatting privately in the closet. Thus, the boys found themselves showing far more skin than any of the girls.

The tides evened out though as the bottle landed on some the guys, who unwilling to lose their last shred of dignity, would respond yes to all the girls. Naruto merely gave Shikamaru another shrug in a half-assed apology. A few duos had their seven minutes in Heaven returning with a severe blush and unlike the host unwilling to answer any questions.

Kiba somehow got a hold of the bottle and went to the front in his paw print boxers. With the bottle landing on a girl already in her panties, she had short internal debate and decided to go for the seven minutes of Heaven.

"Yatta!" Kiba shouted before grabbing her wrist and all but dragging her to the closet.

The seven minutes in Heaven turned into three minutes when a large smack sound emanated from the closet, and the girl marching out huffing and puffing. She didn't even acknowledge the silent group of eighteen boys and girls staring and went straight to the bathroom to run the water. Naruto briefly made eye contact with Ino who went after the girl, while Naruto investigated the closet.

Kiba lay curled into a fetal position with has hands clutching between his legs with a few whimper sounds. From the hallway lighting, Naruto could see the large and red slap mark starting to glow on his cheek. 'Nice,' Naruto thought. 'She put some chakra into it.'

"You really screwed the pooch now," Naruto said with his hands on his hips and a slight smile.

"Shut up, dawg," Kiba moaned in pain. "I didn't know she was so sensitive about a little grabbing."

"You don't even know her, and you expect to be able to get all handsy?"

"I thought that was the point of it being dark."

"That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works."

"Shut up, dawg."

"I'll go apologize for you," Naruto said walking away to leave the dog boy in his righteous pain. He could at least repay Kiba for his help in getting him down from all of his wedgies. Naruto walked to the bathroom door that still had the sound of running water from the faucet and knocked a few times.

Ino popped her head out and glared daggers, "What does he have to say for himself?"

Naruto ignored Ino and said through the door, "I know you can hear me, and I just wanted to say that Kiba is sorry for -"

Ino fully opened the door and dragged Naruto into the bathroom with herself and the now crying girl. 'What the fuck did I get myself into,' Naruto thought.

"He stuck his tongue down my throat and tried to lick my face and then started touching me!" the girl shouted while stabbing his chest with her pointer finger. "Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?"

"Um," Naruto said. "I'll give you the face licking, but did you expect him to be the best romantic kisser ever? I don't know about you, but these clan boys, especially from the Shinobi clans, are complete idiots about everything they are not. They are either complete geniuses with their special talent or complete dunces."

"That's not an excuse," the girl said with a few less tears in her eyes, and Ino nodded her head in approval.

"Look," Naruto said holding up his hands in concession. "No one here knows more about deer and strategy games than Shikamaru, but he'd rather waste away staring at clouds in the sky. No one here knows more about proper dieting, growing food, preparing food or eating food than Choji, but he couldn't find himself out of his own chip bag. And for Kiba. No one here knows more about dogs and animals in general than Kiba, but you put him around normal people like us. Well, you quickly realize he may have spent a few too much time in the kennels."

"Still," she said in a normal tone. "That doesn't excuse his behavior."

"Exactly!" Naruto said with slight frustration. "That's why you slap him in the face, knee him in the balls and tell everyone about how bad of a kisser he is. Boys only learn through pain. Hey, just look at me compared to the kind of guy I was."

The girl chuckled softly at his self-depreciation humor, "I guess."

"You guess? I was shorter and smaller than you were back in elementary school," Naruto said. "I wouldn't have even been invited to this shin-dig if it was six months ago. Now look at me. All the girls want me without my pants on. All I'm trying to say is that guys can change, so don't act like the world has changed just because they goof up. Now, lets get back out there."

Naruto turned around, winked over his shoulder and opened the door to rejoin the rest of the group with a deflated Kiba sitting back in the circle. Seeing a few of the sleepy eyes and a few people looking uncomfortable, Naruto felt the need to make a big yawn.

"It's been a long day, so I don't know about y'all," Naruto said, "but maybe it's time to call it a day?"

The host who looked the most uncomfortable about the situation immediately stood up in his pink elephant boxers, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."

Naruto offered his hand to the cute girl that sat next to him. When she stood up, he leaned in and whispered a few words in her ear in the commotion of everyone moving around and saying good nights. After the girls and guys separated to their sections of the house, all the boys sat lay awake in their sleeping bags or blankets with pillows.

At Naruto's insistence, he got the lucky few boys to open up about their times in the closet. Each one felt the need to one up the next about how great they kissed or how great the girl's body felt in their hands. The conversation turned into a giant mockery at Kiba's expense with everyone laughing even Shikamaru and Choji at the end at the dog boy's misplaced assumptions.


	22. New Discoveries

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

NEW DISCOVERIES

* * *

The host finished pouring the water from the refrigerator into his glass. He normally didn't wake up in the middle of the night especially after such a busy day. They spent the majority of it in the pool, and the sun always drained him of energy and left his shoulders pink. Initially, he felt nervous about hosting the party, but his courage paid off tenfold.

He squeezed the glass of water closer to his bare chest in unrestrained glee and happiness. He kissed his crush for the first time! His dreams came true during the appropriately named seven minutes in heaven. It felt like an eternity with their lips sealed against each other. She even let him cup one of her boobs. He could still feel the magic from the moment flowing through his veins.

As a single child in a big household, he became used to sleeping in darkness and silence. Thus, the constant soft snoring and breathing noises from the ten boys in a relatively cramped space. He didn't say anything about it and just accepted the fact. The blonde's comment about it reminded him of his time in the orphanage even in jest struck him. As he quietly opened the door to the room, everyone slept in he noticed a missing body in the darkness.

The blonde might have changed his life for the better, but that didn't mean he couldn't find or make trouble. His parents didn't know about the rebel party he hosted in their absence, and he intended to keep it that way. He wasn't about to let the punk roam around his house and mess something up to where his parents would notice something amiss.

Furthermore, his parents instilled within him a sense of unease around those of lower social rank. While they didn't outright say certain things, they heavily implied that poor people could be opportunistic with their hands. For instance, his mother would frequently hold her purse closer to her body and walk stiffly around people whose clothes had seen better days.

Thus, the host felt like the punk might not be able to restrain his uglier impulses. He knew that he lived a better life than most, but he had no intention of letting the punk roam unattended. He simply needed to make sure that he didn't appear vulnerable and open to temptation for the blonde to take advantage of him.

Going first around the part of the house that he let other people enter, he frowned when he couldn't find the punk and started to go to the rooms he told no one to enter. Not finding the blonde in the office or nursery room downstairs, he walked upstairs trying not to make any noise leaving the glass of water on the stairs' railing..

The upstairs contained the master bedroom for his parents, his own bedroom, two guest bedrooms and another study with three restrooms. Fortunately, his father kept his office locked at all times to protect his business' confidential information. A paranoia rightfully developed in the middle of a Hidden Village. While no civilian without spending obscene amounts of money could keep a sufficiently motivated ninja from their information, they could take the appropriate actions to ensure that the client partaking in corporate espionage would need to spend a significant sum of money to access the information.

Nonetheless, this still left four unlocked rooms for the blonde punk to infiltrate and reduce himself to his baser instincts as a poor, unconnected orphan. He might have been a little jealous of the boy's stature in comparison to his. He had been working diligently in both exercise and dieting his whole life, and the elementary school dropout managed to get a stronger body in just six months.

It didn't matter in the long run considering his subpar grades and lack of any connections. Really, the best the blonde could hope for would be a career as a glorified muscleman for Leaf. His father routinely lectured about the fact that someone has to do the dirty jobs such as picking up garbage.

When his father accepted his only son's decision to enlist in the Shinobi Academy, he looked through all of the possible jobs that the Hokage's Office employed. His father stereotyped like the majority that the life of the ninja revolved around being a kunai in the dark. He just wished that his father wouldn't always talk about carrying on the family business, and how to make the business more profitable and reputable through his future connections as a ninja.

None of his other peers and seniors in his same social ranking as a son or daughter of a successful member of the gentry class. In fact, he couldn't recite a single case of a business civilian family benefiting from having a member working any division or department of Leaf. Maybe, it happened, and no one talked about it.

The host checked his and his parents bedrooms, but he didn't find any sign of the punk. Maybe, the blonde went outside for some reason. He opened the curtains to his own room, and he couldn't make anything out in the darkness.

Well, the best cause scenario involved the punk rummaging through the connected guest bedrooms anyway. He wondered what the orphan's excuse would be anyway. Not like he would be inviting the punk back to any future parties. Hell, he wouldn't invite anyone back to his home if he found he or she prowling through it at night and betraying his trust. Civilized people deserving of respect and dignity just didn't do stuff like that despite the ninja rules regarding the need to do what must be done to complete the mission.

Walking through the first guest bedroom, he heard soft sounds coming through the connecting bathroom. 'Caughtcha,' the host thought with a certain amount of glee. He hurried his steps out of the first one, back into the hall and stopped in front of last unchecked room.

He placed his ear against the door and followed the Academy techniques to sharpen one's mind to focus on the chakra in the ears or, in his case, his ear. Pacing his breath and relaxing his body to focus solely on his ear, he heard the same sounds with more clarity. The problem, however, presented itself in that he didn't know what he could hear.

What would a thief be doing rubbing the bedsheets together? Why would a thief be breathing so hard or so fast? Was he tying the bedsheets together to repel down the window?

His curiously overwhelmed him, and he backed away from the door. Steeling himself for the confrontation with the blonde punk, he opened the door in a swift motion and silently charged into the room.

On the bed, the blonde in his infamous fish cake boxers lay on top of the cute girl that had no trouble rejecting two of his best friends for the penniless orphan. He continued to trail kisses up and down the side of her neck without pause while the hand not holding the other side of her face fondled her uncovered breast.

The girl, on the other hand, panted to the side causing the host to blush just hearing them from across the deceptively large room. Like the blonde, she had one hand gripping the unkempt blonde locks while another roamed up and down his golden back that frequently went down his boxers to grab his ass. It seemed both her hands worked towards either adding more pressure into his kisses or his incessant humping motions.

The punk and the cute girl didn't even recognize his presence in the room watching as the punk ground his covered hips against what he hoped was her covered legs that she had splayed to the side. He remembered reading about this in one of the Icha Icha books he kept hidden away from his mother and maid. 'Dry humping,' he thought with a small amount of pride for recognizing the move.

"I'm, ha, getting, ha, closer," the cute girl gasped out as she strengthened her grip in the blonde's hair and mounted her legs against the back of his legs. The blonde didn't stop from his motions to make a comment and started humping and kissing with increased speed and strength.

"No," she moaned. "Go, ha, the same. Nothing, ha, different."

The blonde obeyed and resumed his original pace despite the increased pressure on part of the girl. The return reminded the host about his presence in the room. He didn't know what to do other than leave and act like he didn't see anything. Without making a sound, he left the room dragging the door closed behind him.

Leaning his head against the wooden door, he could still hear the sound of some no name orphan dry humping one of the cutest girls at the party that rejected one of his extremely well-connected best friends. He had mixed feelings on the matter because the girl clearly harbored none of the same feelings as his friend, and his friend didn't even know her beforehand. During the day, they didn't even hold polite conversation, while during the games, the punk talked her ear off and back on again to talk it back off.

Furthermore, as a male, he recognized her nature as a complete tease. Bringing out the measuring tape might have been all Ino's idea, but everything afterwards ranging from pulling his pants down to shaking her ass and showing her cleavage had been the cute girls decisions to give his fellow male a giant case of blue balls.

Which brought up another point, what did they plan to do about the mess? Was the blonde just going to cream his boxers and wash the mess off? He didn't have any condoms in the house. Maybe he brought an extra pair or boxers? The blonde did have a terrible tendency to have ripped off his person in surprisingly brutal fashions. He personally saw the after results of an Akimichi messy wedgie followed by a Sarutobi practicing their curls by placing their signature wooden staves between the leg holes of the boxers and lifting him up and down from the ground, while they forced him to do the countdown and shoving bananas of all things into his mouth.

After a particular loud moan from the cute girl that he could hear without the aid of basic ninja training, he decided to leave them to it. He just needed to get rid of the tent in his boxers first. He normally wore his pajama set, but when Naruto and Kiba decided to sleep in their boxers he couldn't look the weak one as the host.

Another louder moan soon followed a set of loud gasps. She seriously made some sexy noises.


	23. More Discoveries

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

MORE DISCOVERIES

* * *

Author's Note: For every chapter update, I try to have the word limit within certain standards. I was and am unable to keep these standards for the previous update and the upcoming four due to the nature of the content of the chapters. As a result, I will be making updates twice a week until the end of Chapter Eight: Philosophies and Parties. Thank you for your continued viewership and reviews.

* * *

Naruto lay panting on top of the cute girl whose hair sprayed out across the pillows with sweat rolling across both their bodies. He held himself up by his forearms in a planking position with his face barely hovering over her own maintaining eye contact the whole time.

It took everything he knew from the magazine articles and his Icha Icha collection, but he managed to make a girl orgasm for the first time. He found just the right spot on her neck to abuse with his teeth and tongue, while his fingers and a little bit of chakra rubbed just the right way against her sensitive breasts. At the same time, the tent in his lucky boxers constantly applied friction for both of them with his non-stop humping.

He tried to have his tongue play with the rest of her skin and go a little lower, but she firmly kept his head attached to her neck thanks to the crazy strong grip she had in his hair. He thought he would be able to push the ground rules they established on this same bed, but she remained adamant. He would give her credit for that.

In the brief moment that he whispered into his ear and she said yes, he invited her to a midnight meeting in the kitchen. According to the magazine article, a man should always be prepared for a woman, and so he prepared. Brushing his hair and teeth again, applying even more deodorant he followed the advice for people that couldn't match his abilities and talents.

He applied a small piece of flesh-colored adhesive tape behind his ear that sealed a few condoms. The design and application couldn't be more brilliant and flawless if he tried. It epitomized his being as a Shinobi, an aspiring Sealing Master and as a teenage boy. Also, the priceless look on her face when he pulled some condoms from behind his ear when she asked if he had anything would go down as a memory of a lifetime.

In the kitchen, they decided to move their activities to an undisclosed location, aka, one of the bedrooms upstairs that the host told no one to enter. He had a case of blue balls that needed to be cured, and he had no intention of letting some rich spoiled kid's rules get in the way. Plus, as a dude, he would understand anyway.

Once upstairs in the bed, she put her hand on his chest and made her ground rules. Her panties and his boxers would remain on at all times. No accidents would be allowed to escape. No face licking. And most importantly, he would do everything she said. He liked the sound of that already.

First, they both sat on the side of the bed with each other's faces in their hands with lips locked. He swiped his tongue for permission to enter as according to the magazine's rules which she obliged. Once inside, he withheld himself from plunging into her mouth like Kiba did and the magazine specifically warned.

Naruto felt like he finally entered the gates of heaven, but unlike everyone else there would be no seven-minute timer to interrupt his state of euphoria. Eventually, Naruto got a little more daring and started to use his other hand to roam her body. She didn't flinch or seem hesitant about it, so he continued.

When they broke for air for the seventh time, Naruto leaned into her giving her permission to do whatever she wanted with his body. For encouragement, he brought her vacant hand to the middle of his torso and dragged it down slightly. Naruto didn't have the slightest idea how long this continued and couldn't care less.

The cute girl surprisingly enough leaned him against the bed, and they wiggled across it. Once in the middle, she straddled on top of him with his hands playing with her panty line as she unlatched her bra from behind her. Slowly dragging it away, Naruto saw the first pair of boobs that he could play with in his life.

He immediately reached for them, but she swatted his hands away and waved a finger in his face making tsk sounds. Naruto gave her the biggest case of orphan eyes and pouts that he could, but she just laughed and ground her hips on top of his.

He couldn't help the loud moan that bubbled up from the depths of his chest as she rubbed his covered piece against his lower abdomen. She gave a hearty laugh at the power she wielded over him. Here lay the strongest non-clansmen in their grade completely vulnerable to her slightest whims. She loved it.

He loved it. He didn't know what he did to attract such powerful and self-confident women in his life, but he wouldn't change it in the least. He could only stare upwards as she gyrated her hips against his little friend and wish forlornly at the breasts she accentuated by her hands resting against his pecs.

'Living the dream,' he thought with a large grin breaking across his face as he kept his hands motionless against her hips. After continuing the show for some undetermined amount of time that Naruto couldn't care, she leaned forward to start making out again. Her soft chest pressed against his chest in an understated feeling. Meanwhile, both his hands found her panty-clad bottom and gave generous squeezes before letting her simply go up and down to the sound of their moans and the rubbing of his boxer's fabric against her panties' fabric.

Soon, they broke their lip lock and continued their activities by sharing the same breath huffing in each other's faces. In no time, she had him singing a chorus of moans leading to one of the most magical moments in his short life. He could only stare up as she continued unheeded by the spoiled condom.

Regaining his senses after a few moments of her discovering the difference between a soft one and a hard one, he found his second wind and pushed his torso up. In a quick move he actually learned in the Competitive Sparring Club, he flipped their positions. Before she could protest, he shoved his tongue into her mouth. Meanwhile, he had both of his hands in his pair of lucky boxers and working furiously to remove the spent condom.

He broke away from the kiss to reach over the night table where he kept the rest of the condoms from his seal. Bringing the wrapper to his mouth, he tore it open. Going back to her mouth, we went about trying to put it on until she moved her hands from his back and butt to pull up on his hair.

Hovering down over her with a string of saliva between their lips, she shoved his head to her neck and pulled up on his arms. Taking the hint, he got to work looking for her erogenous zones with his tongue and teeth while he worked his hands against her breasts for the first time. They didn't feel like sandbags at all. They felt more like bundles of soft fat more than anything.

As she started to give off sexy noises that alerted Naruto to the level of his success, she used her hands to rub against his softness over his boxers. Now, he started getting short of breath again due to his momentary highly sensitive nature. Naruto didn't let that stop him but encouraged him to continue even more.

Soon enough, she reached into his boxers to Naruto's complete shock causing him to rear his head and give a large gasp. Undeterred, she grabbed a hold and started to put on the condom. Naruto didn't know what they taught girls in their after school sexual education classes that he missed, but they didn't skimp out.

Bringing her hands out of his boxers, she whispered into his ear, "Your dick in my hand doesn't do me any good."

Nodding his head, he realized for the first time that she hadn't made the noise described in neither the magazine articles nor the Icha Icha novels. Naruto frowned for a moment in self-consternation. He could be and do better than this even if she wanted to keep wearing her panties.

Without further ado, he went to using his mouth, hands and hips as best as he could to pull the most delicious sounds from her.


	24. A Girl's Life

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

A GIRL'S LIFE

* * *

After the blonde brought her to climax, he flipped over to the side and lay panting. She herself needed some time to get her bearings straight after being delivered to cloud nine. Her faith in the golden boy beside her paid off as she planned.

She, like everyone else, noticed the boy's unfaltering determination and passion for his tasks that he brought with him to middle school. The true story of a boy turning over a new leaf became all the rage in certain circles. Everyone loved a redemption story even if it didn't exactly come up to par with the romantic novels that she and her peers read.

Plus, he pleased the eyes with his new height and body. She could personally deal with a little more muscle and height, but he still had time in her books. No temple could be built in a day, and the monks considered the body a temple.

After a few more kisses, she patted him once on the chest and started to put her night gown and bra back on under the supervision of the blonde. She loved the attention, but so would any girl in her situation. She just happened to be one of the few who didn't shy away or reject it out of principle.

Her sister reared her better than that. She always claimed that nothing held higher importance that one's self-confidence, especially of one's body image for girls. Growing up with just an older sister six years her senior posed its challenges, but they managed together.

Their parents died in the Nine Tailed Demon Fox attack similar to the boy still staring at her body. Fortunately, both her parents had been ninja's; thus, both of their girls benefited from the generous social services offered by the village and Hokage's Office.

The village relocated them to the Orphanage for about three years according to her sister before a full time foster family could be found. At the foster family, she had her first memories that didn't have any particular fondness or dislike for the family. All of her loving in a rather selfish manner looking back on the matter directed itself towards her older sister that she adored with every bone in her body.

Eventually, she started the Ninja Academy like her older sister, and they moved without much fanfare to their family home that the state kept in relatively good shape by sponsoring a few D-rank missions from the high school students. In fact, the Nine Tailed attack sponsored the switch from D-ranks to high school students from recent graduates allowing for the much needed manpower and cheap labor to help rebuild the village and free up more qualified ninja to take place in the money generating C and B rank missions.

She only knew because her sister frequently lamented about the required amount of D rank missions that every student needed to perform every semester. She, however, did not mind the extra money on top of the monthly stipend they both received.

In the beginning, a social service worker would stop by their family home everyday to ensure they had all the appropriate necessities and that the house ran accordingly. Eventually, the checkups turned into weekly encounters to monthly encounters until the service became a requested one.

Her role model, her elder sister, during this time grew into a strongly independent woman capable of excelling in her own studies and rearing her little sister as best as possible. She inspired her through her actions and the occasional lecture.

They didn't have any fancy crane name or parentage to trace back for special skills or talents. They simply had two orphan ninja parents of no special background that fell in love at some point. Even her older sister, couldn't remember her parents other than a few photos that some friends of their parents had or could find throughout the house.

Apparently, their parents had the love bird syndrome judging by the type of literature they kept in their library. One day when her older sister perused the collection to determine the family heritage or inheritance in terms of ninja skills, she could only find a bunch of steamy romance novels and some inappropriate orange books hidden in a chest of all things. How the social workers or family friends didn't find and remove the stuff boggled her mind.

In the pile of smut, they did find oddly enough their mother and father's journals. In short, their father had a brain the size of a pea, but he did know how to be a ninja and rose to a high B-rank ability. Their mother, on the other hand, had unconventional opinions on the role of women. In her opinion, women held the true power.

She didn't know what possessed her mom to write some of the things she did. Her favorite reference to her claim that woman held all the power described her perfectly in both sister's minds: "Squeeze a man's dick and see who has the power" which generally followed with "But I can't do anything with a dick in my hand."

The saying became an inside joke amongst the sisters until her older sister decided to honor their mother's memory. As a strong independent woman with decent assets in the front and in the back, the task posed no true struggle. The results, however, blew their minds.

Her older sister netted her first boyfriend in the second year of middle school. She remember all the times the two of them would come over to the family house. While she originally didn't like him because she feared that he would steal her older sister from her, she changed her opinion after her sister's reassurances and even the boyfriend's reassurances. Apparently, she didn't hide that emotion well at all.

For the first time in a long time, she felt like she had an actual family. The boyfriend didn't run her out of the house, but he did the opposite. All three of them would play. Sometimes they would even play her stupid games that the sister, when alone, chastised as being too young for her.

For the first month anniversary of their courtship, he even bought her a gift along with her sister. Whenever her sister needed help with something, he would come running out of his way to help. Her sister's happiness, however, became the most important feature that she admired in the end.

While having a boyfriend didn't validate her sister's existence by any stretch of the imagination, it skyrocketed her self-confidence to a whole new level. Initially, she feared that the time spent with the boyfriend instead of doubling down on her studies would reduce her class rankings. Instead, her grades boosted to a whole new level because working with her boyfriend in their studies allowed both of them to improve.

Thus, her older sister proved that a strong, independent woman could both have her cake and eat it too in regards to having a relationship with a man. Her sister, however, did not keep the same boyfriend for more than two years. She had no intention of settling down or getting married anytime soon like those arranged marriages that all clans practiced to elevate her standing.

She didn't have much opinion for the stories of true love. She just wanted something real, and she had no qualms about getting it. She didn't see any reason why here sister should have all the fun. Plus, her older sister told her all about the pleasures of the body and she wanted to partake.

Other girls would romanticize about the hottest kid in the class or the grade or even the school, but she learned at an early age not to let the present pass for some fantasy. She also held the same opinion about all the girls who viewed Tsunade Senju as the role model for the ultimate modern kunoichi. People acted surprised and mystified that the first daughter of the main house of the Senju clan that claimed direct blood from the First Hokage Hashirama Senju himself.

So what if she didn't have the Wood Release ability? While an independent person, she didn't want to distance herself from her friends and other girls in her age group. She laughed at the jokes, got starry-eyed over some boys and planned her wedding ceremony. She just wanted a good man to keep her company and help her excel to the maximum of her own potential.

For these exact reasons, she found the blonde that she left in the bedroom attractive. More importantly, he symbolized a safe bet. She wouldn't be stepping on anyone's toes because none of the well-connected girls her grade showed the slightest interest in him. Furthermore, he didn't have any connections himself like her to step on either.

She noticed some attention she received from the one guy whose bottle landed on her. He didn't even have the nerve to talk to her beforehand. She couldn't really give the blonde much room either since their conversations during the day lasted for a few minutes, and the main conversations simply occurred because of their coincidental location. Still, she didn't want her seven minutes in heaven to be with a guy whose backbone grew by his family's name and connections to the host of all people.

Also, the kid looked like he would completely ignore her and treat her as an object as men in high positions frequently did in her older sister's experience. Well, they also bought nice gifts too, but she didn't plan on receiving a gift from seven minutes sucking face in a closet.

The blonde, on the other hand, had a magnetic personality around him. She didn't know where it originated either considering his humble origins and elementary school machinations. In his youth, he would cajole everyone about how great and heroic his dead parents according to the Hokage-Sama that he referred to as JiJi of all things.

No one so much as have his words another glance for the obvious reason that he had no talent in academics, couldn't land a Kunai on the board or even tie in a fight with a woman. When he started middle school though, he might as well have been a completely different person. He dedicated himself to his studies and his clubs rather than bothering everyone else in their respective fields.

While not noteworthy in its own right, he held the same air of self-confidence. While all of the clan children held a similar level of self-confidence, it came from a source of haughtiness that came off arrogant and unappealing. He didn't have mindless rivalries and pissing contests with others merely because of the relationship between his blood and another's blood.

At first, she didn't even know how to explain his attributes. One day the answer hit her over the head; he carried the rare candle of sincerity in a village run amok with politics and connections and bloodlines and money. He wanted to be as strong as he could on his own merits, and she found that beyond commendable.

The fact that she could have a relationship in any manner without worrying about potential repercussions later in life similar to her older sister. The social hierarchy resembled a quagmire of pitfalls and traps in just making friends regardless of gender, and The blonde distinguished himself away from the madness.

In fact, he notably had friendships all over the spectrum of all types. He had clan friends of both Shinobi and civilian along with orphans, single-parent children and families that recently moved to the village. He also had no reservations in throwing himself out there socially despite his poor beginning in the Academy system.

On top of it all, the idiot seemed completely oblivious to being outside the system. It scared her to think that out of everyone the blonde probably had the happiest understanding of the world. Sure the Nine Tails orphaned him, sure he almost failed elementary school, but once he got his shit together, his world became his to create and mold as he saw fit.

Tip-toeing over the sleeping girls, she found her sleeping bag and quietly rooted herself inside it. Ino could think herself and actually be the queen be for all she cared, but she, on the other hand, will have the pleasure of knowing she got the first boy in their group under her thumb. Thus, she won the kunoichi competition. The ability to manipulate the dumber gender would always be a skill set needed by the fairer gender.

She didn't control the fact that men could grew larger with increased muscles and chakra reserves. The idea of fairness did not change the reality of the matter. A ninja, especially a kunoichi, must fight with every weapon at his or her disposal. Like the idiom went: 'You dealt the hand life gave you, not the one you want'.

Traditionally, this reserved females for seduction purposes that casted the role of a kunoichi in a bad light, but strong examples of women over time debunked the fact in a mere option of the job compared to the virtual requirement it once had been. Something she could appreciate Tsunade for rather than outright praise and hero-worship like the majority of kunoichi and kunoichi in training.

She gave a smirk to the dark room. If the blonde didn't have the weird seal for condoms behind his ear, she totally would have had him cream his boxers twice in the time it took her to wet her panties once. Speaking of which, she rummaged through her sleepover bag to change her pair.

She made her mark on him. She just needed to wait for the fish to bite the bait.


	25. Job Well Done

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER EIGHT: PHILOSOPHIES AND PARTIES

JOB WELL DONE

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AN: Don't worry about the length of this chapter. I am starting a new chapter that will be uploaded this weekend to compensate. Thank you again for reading.

* * *

Naruto continued to stare at the door with a huge grin on his face a few minutes after the cute girl's ass swayed out of it. He totally made her wet her panties. Judging by the slight bend of her knees when she stood up for the first time since sitting on the bed, he did an excellent job at it too. In summation, he was the man.

He stretched his arms behind his head resting in the bed. He built up quite the bit of sweat, but he would have to just suck it up. Feeling a weird sensation down under he remembered, he still had a spent condom on his member. Also, he needed to pack up the other condoms he emptied out into the nightstand like an idiot and remove the other spent one that the cute girl placed on top of them.

How did he plan on getting rid of the used condoms without alerting anyone that he just came twice in some relatively random dude's house with a relatively random girl. Furthermore, he really needed to wipe down his dick. Why didn't any of the articles or books mention this part?

Well, he didn't attend the Ninja Academy of the Village Hidden in the Leaves for nothing. If he wanted to be a true Shinobi one day, then he would have to at least be able to get him out of sticky situations. Sometimes the saying could be taken literally.

Unrolling the condom still attached and grabbing the other one, he went to the adjoining bathroom and unrolled a load of toilet paper. Placing them inside the toilet paper, he set it aside on the night table in the bedroom where he lost his dry virginity and re-sealed the condoms back into the adhesive tape he re-applied behind his ear.

Making sure not to bumble down the stairs like he almost did up the stairs in his excitement, he went to the guy's section's bathroom. Fortunately, none of the boys needed to take care of any nightly needs, and he promptly threw the evidence in the toilet. Draining the one-eyed snake and cleaning it off, the commode flushed far too loudly, but he didn't care since he finished the job.

Walking out and towards the large room where all the boys slept, he went over to his thin blanket and pillow he brought. Thankfully, no one seemed to have woken up by his nightly ventures.

Despite his escapades that night, Naruto naturally woke up at his usual time for his morning exercises feeling lighter. Deciding that he didn't want to listen around to a bunch of fellow boys' breathing, he got dressed in his work out clothes and went off to his routine training ground.

When he returned, he smelt the beautiful aroma of bacon, eggs and toast wafting from the kitchen. His stomach rumbled pleasure and a grin broke across his face. Unfortunately, the other guests probably didn't want him smelling up the place from his morning sweat, so he quickly went to his bag and change clothes. He noticed a few figures still sleeping, but he couldn't make heads or tails of anyone.

Jumping into the kitchen, he saw Choji working over the impressive stove top. He never saw someone so graceful doing the gods' work. When Choji put down his latest batch of bacon, Naruto rushed behind him to lift the portly boy up and swing him around the room while laughing.

Giving a few mock kisses and smooches , Naruto said, "Choji-kun ! Have I told you how much I love you!"

"Yes, Naruto! You tell me every time I cook," Choji said trying to untangle him from Naruto's bear hug. "Now let me down!"

Naruto let him down and immediately snatched some of the freshly baked bacon, while Choji regained his bearings. Someone his size shouldn't be moved around like that so easily. His parents didn't even do that anymore.

"Sure thing Choji-kun," Naruto said with his mouth full of bacon.

Choji sighed at the blonde's antics, "Everyone's outside eating by the way and quit eating out of the pans."

"Where's Shikamaru?" Naruto asked. Choji and Shikamaru never separated themselves in public without a good reason. At first Naruto felt jealousy for the duo, he always wanted an older brother or a best friend in his youth when he gave up on the idea of ever having parents.

"Still sleeping like quite a few of the other boys and girls," Choji said preparing his latest batch of food.

"That's not very nice," Naruto said trying to sneak some bacon. "Everyone playing or sleeping while you work."

"There is no such thing as working in the kitchen," Choji admonished holding a greasy spatula. "Cooking is an art form."

Naruto nodded in agreement at the thought, "Why don't you just work your magic then, and feel free to talk out loud about what you're doing because I'll be taking notes, Choji-kun."

While the Akimichi nutritionist gave him the general instructions in preparing food, he spent most of his attention on Naruto's malnutrition. After eating relatively the same meals for eight or so months now, Naruto felt ready for some spice in his life. And who knew better than an Akimichi, especially the heir of the Akimichi clan. Naruto didn't simply knock at the door of opportunity; he shoved himself in and squeezed everything he could from behind the door.

Taking mental notes on Choji's special way of cooking breakfast meals and various other tidbits of information, boys and girls went in and out of the kitchen to be redirected outside and handed some plates of food. Some of them looked like they still needed some time to fully awaken which supposed Naruto. Ever since his lessons with Mizuki, he just woke up full of energy and ready to seize the day. These people looked strung around like cats on leashes.

Naruto smiled at Choji's back as Choji continued to ramble about culinary hints and tricks. He noticed someone standing at the door portal who made Naruto unable to stop the heat rising in his cheeks. Excusing himself from the kitchen, he followed her around a corner of the house into the dining room.

Standing in front of each other in the light of day fully dressed, they just looked at each other awkwardly for a few moments. Naruto decided that he needed to break the ice that grew between them since they last saw each other.

"So, ya know, I really enjoyed last night," he said unable to properly maintain eye contact despite knowing he should.

"Me too," she said softly looking at him through her eye lashes.

Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth for a few moments, he eventually asked, "If, ya know, you're not busy or nothing, ya know, would, ya know, want to, maybe, like, get lunch after this or something? If ya want."

The cute girl gave a small smile, "Sure. I'd love to."

"Yatta!" Naruto shouted in the silence of the room before shrinking down and poking his head out of the dining room. Turning around he whispered, "I'll sneak out first."

Naruto went straight back to the kitchen to help Choji with some of his final preparations. Eventually, a fully dressed Shikamaru walked with his typical slouch and hands deep in his pockets. The Nara looked apathetically at Naruto in response to his overactive waving and good mornings.

Shikamaru mumbled, "Troublesome blonde."

"Did I wake you up, Shikamaru-kun?" Naruto asked. "Aw, I'm so sorry."

"Good morning, Shikamaru-kun," Choji said going out of his way to take his eyes from the stovetop.

"Good morning, Choji-kun," Shikamaru responded. Not feeling the need to get in the way of the two lovebirds, Naruto grabbed the recently finished special plate of bacon, toast and eggs just for him to bring outside with some silverware and a glass.


	26. Return on Investment

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER NINE: THE GAMES

RETURN ON INVESTMENT

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Naruto jumped over the leafless tree limbs grown from the enemy Senju and continued his charge towards the enemy holding the Earth scroll. Naruto could trust that human nature would have his back. In other words, the Uchiha on his team would keep the pressure on the rival of the Senju claim. Furthermore, he could count on the Senju not getting distracted from the fight. Naruto gave a grim smile at enjoying how easy some people could be.

The Uchiha behind him appeared from Naruto's shadow and began his offensive against the Senju as the two of them shouted various clan insults. In a break from tradition, the other offensive member of the team originated from the female species that at this particular moment Naruto didn't care about considering his soul-sucking ex-girlfriend. While the Uchiha planned on outright ignoring the girl for Naruto to go straight to the defending enemy, Naruto immediately rejected the plan for multiple reasons.

One should never underestimate the enemy especially since the girl clearly had some ability in order to be an offensive member at the cost of the defensive member's ego. Second, their defensive member consisted of Sakura Haruno of all people who looked like she had trouble holding her Kunai up with those pencil thin arms of hers. Third, Naruto didn't want a two-on-one fight should the aspiring kunoichi decide to help their defending member. Lastly, he really wanted to end this match, go up in the tournament rankings and get completely shit-faced at the after party some rich kid would be hosting. Thus, a simple nice-and-easy fight floated Naruto's boat just right.

He attempted to engage his designated opponent by making a chakra side jump, but the female already sped through the gap straight for their Heaven scroll. Dropping a Kunai with a special seal at his location, Naruto focused on the other Kunai he laid out for this situation. While fast, she couldn't outrun a proximity-triggered seal linked by genjutsu covered sealing script to exploding seals.

Ha, he wished. He didn't have time for that since this particular game didn't allow time to make traps, but he could still dream of the pretty explosions. Instead, he simply focused on the single Kunai with the special seal that allowed for him to successfully perform the Transformation technique without using an absurd amount of chakra.

The Substitution technique required chakra depending on the difference in mass between the user and the selected object. Unfortunately, the difference between a Kunai and a 13 year old boy took a pound of flesh in terms of chakra to perform. While Naruto had some of the most ludicrous chakra reserves for his age in existence, the drain on his reserves put him at a disadvantage that he didn't want to sacrifice. For ninja, the slightest difference in ability, perceived or real, meant the difference between winning and losing.

Thus, Naruto dedicated himself to performing a perfect Substitution technique with an object of similar body mass like a training dummy. Over time and far more work than his peers, Naruto managed to do the Substitution technique on the Academy regulation log that his chakra teacher used as a benchmark for grading students. At first, he covered the whole field in chakra smoke that originated from a technique that performed technically correctly but expended more chakra than required.

Chakra smoke offered itself as a very good tool for teachers and students to judge their performance and for a ninja to judge another in the field. For Naruto, it became the bane of his existence after many sleepless nights and bouts of near chakra exhaustion. Nonetheless, he persevered and got the technique to acceptable standards through sheer practice and doing every last chakra control technique he could whittle away from the Headmistress, chakra instructor, Sealing Arts Club, the Sealing Arts division and from good ol' JiJi himself.

In the end, he could add the Substitution technique into his repertoire of techniques alongside the Transformation technique that he used all the time although for less than admirable purposes. While the Transformation technique had a sensitive nature, Naruto discovered that apt amounts of chakra made it more resistant. In fact, it became resistant enough for the usual pinch test frequently employed at the hot springs and resistant to the hot water itself.

Ever since his bitch of an ex-girlfriend left him, he found the female hot springs a comforting source of rest and relaxation. Also, the girl's side had better amenities like better towels and better floors and cleaner water.

He digressed.

In order to compensate for his lack of talent or even average skill in the majority of chakra-related activities, he used the Sealing Arts to their full potential. While the average Sealing novice would use the arts to amplify their abilities, Naruto used the arts to, in some cases, completely make up for his faults. The majority of practitioners frowned upon Naruto's interpretation of the Sealing Arts, but he couldn't give two shits. If it worked, it worked.

During his summer break, Naruto used the Headmistress' connection to land a temporary three-month job at the Sealing Arts Division similar to the one he held for community service purposes. His sealing abilities rose to the next level every other week. Also, the extra pay and the discounted high quality materials from the Sealing Arts Division allowed him to make his own seals for personal use.

Furthermore, he could use the money to buy better food for himself and take his ungrateful ex-girlfriend on dates more often. She always complained about how he paid more attention and spent more time on his sealing than her. He had a nine to five job and liked to spend the nights using what he learned for his own development. It's not like he didn't offer his sexual services every night or so.

Thus, his summer schedule became almost the exact same as his school schedule, but he still spent more than enough time with her on the weekends. She could have at least broken up with him on the weekend when he had time to worry about her than on a busy weekday when he held himself on the verge of a giant project that he had the privilege of being involved.

Naruto still didn't fully understand what problem she had with their relationship. He had no problem taking it to the next level in the bedroom, but she always managed to find five intermediary steps between what Naruto considered the next level. She had no trouble with him going down on her, but all of a sudden her knees always grew stiff when he wanted to reverse the positions. Not to say she never did, but she could have been less prudish about everything.

Also, she broke up with him right before they ran out of non-penetration techniques. Hell, Naruto even used his extra money to buy the only book on the damn subject. As it turned out, a man could have an orgasm a lot easier than a girl. Anyway, she turned into a distraction, so he felt relief from her departure. His hands still worked just as well.

Well, he did miss the dry sex, and he couldn't find any no-strings attached girls in middle school. Women, for some reason, didn't like the 'I only need you when I need you' relationship. He could make himself available for a little morning, midday or afternoon delight at a moment's notice if the girl needed him, so he didn't see the difference.

After she left him, Naruto did feel heavier and little less happy-go-lucky about everything, which, in turn, inspired his greatest sealing discovery. The weight seal in common tongue or the gravity seal for the more sophisticated individuals made objects weigh more by increasing the force of gravity by increasing the weight of gravity, a relatively simple equation that Naruto learned in his middle school science class during the physic's portion.

Due to the fact that raising the weight of gravity had a multiplicative effect on the force of gravity, the gravity seal required a high level of intricacy and good measuring to make sure the weight met the user's expectations. Thus, the seal, after the basic storage seal, became a quintessential learning device for aspiring sealing artists in learning, understanding and practicing the intricacies of the sealing arts. The seal gave Naruto more than a few weeks to become sufficiently skilled enough to pass the rigorous standards of the Sealing Arts Division.

When the time came for the next school year, the chakra teacher instructed the Substitution technique. Naruto, having seen his cunt of an ex-girlfriend in the hallway, thought that her soulless heart made it easier for her to perform the technique compared to his heavier heart's recent failure in the technique. Thus, Naruto in an epiphany realized that he could artificially increase the weight of objects. Interestingly enough, the chakra needed to perform a Substitution technique on a heavier object took significantly less, if performed correctly, than a Substitution technique on a lighter target done incorrectly as Naruto did in overcompensation.

Putting theory to practice, Naruto in a mockery of the legendary Flying Thunder God technique weighted a Kunai with the absolute minimum needed for him to perform a perfect Substitution technique. In one the greatest moments in his young life, the damn thing worked! The feeling of joy resounding from an achievement created by one's own hard work and ingenuity overwhelmed his senses and had him feeling better than dry sex with the she-devil. Running straight into her face and telling her that could have been handled a little better, though, in retrospect. She had the nerve to say congratulations rather than sulk in regret for breaking up with him.

Proud of his accomplishment, he wrote a stunning dissertation on the matter in proper form and everything. He even cited sources and did all the proper formatting. In the throes of ecstasy from his success, Naruto did the proper thing and shoved his paper in everyone's face even tangentially related to the topic including everyone in the Sealing Arts Club, the Headmistress, JiJi, every single teacher and instructor he had in elementary school and middle school regardless of the subject they taught, even some of the ANBU members he knew, especially Weasel-San and Dog-San. He succeeded and shouted it from the rooftops. He bet that soulless bitch regretted dumping him now. Well, he could dream.

From what he understood from the friends he made in the Sealing Arts Division, the paper went all the way up to the top of the food chain to the guy who made it his business to turn the Arts into a Science. He made his honorary Uzumaki name proud, and he never felt better in his life.

Granted, he had to spend the first half of the paper actually explaining the gravity seal, the equation for the force of gravity, and the traditional applications of the seal such as making training weights that he even used or preventing an object from being stolen. He didn't let that hold him back, though, and started regaling the Flying Thunder God technique to attract the reader's attention. Afterwards, he detailed the gist of a different use for the gravity seal not previously used and how it could be used like a replication of the Flying Thunder God technique. At the end, he detailed the pros and cons and hypothetical situations about the use for the seal. Actually writing the paper and putting thought down on paper contributed a surprisingly large amount of knowledge in and of itself regarding his "revolutionary seal" that "could be used from a fledgling ninja trainee to a kage; thereby effectively creating a new E-rank jutsu provided by the Sealing Arts." Uzumaki, Naruto, _The False Flying Thunder God Technique_ ,31 S.D. 79, 80 (2015).

Now, in the field of the Games, he would use his derivative of the Flying Thunder God by performing the hand signs for a Substitution technique focusing on a weighted Kunai to save his team's scroll from the clutches of the enemy along with the damsel in distress as the two greatest clans continued their eternal rivalry in the background. There could be no moment more magical than this. Also, fuck his ex-girlfriend.

Finishing the technique at the right time by judging the speed of his target, he appeared without a flash of smoke in the middle of an in-air roundhouse kick. Her reflexes managed to perform a rough cross block with her forearms and slid across the grassy grounds by a meter. His twice daily exercise regimes and monthly visits to the Akimichi nutritionist paid off.

In the process of landing on the ground, he launched a trio of shuriken at the enemy before launching himself. The girl, a member of a minor civilian clan turned Shinobi clan, used her flexibility to twist and turn out of the way, but the process delayed her ability to make a proper defense. Naruto's initial chaotic salvo of punches and kicks using his feet, hands, forearms, shins, knees and elbows took a toll on the girl as she continually backpedaled and took a few blocking and glancing blows.

After personally discovering the heartless nature of the female race, Naruto stopped even pretending to hold back from his blows. If she couldn't take the heat, then she could get the fuck out. The classical problem with Naruto's taijutsu revealed itself as the kunoichi found a glaring opening and stroke with clear precision at the solar plexus.

Bending down and lunging forward, he ensured the strike would hit his sternum without reaching the full power of a true hit. At the same time, he stopped his chaotic attacks and focused all attention on grabbing the same arm. Seeing the trap, the kunoichi reeled backwards with a controlled haste with her hand shrinking backwards with the same speed as she dealt the potential blow.

The slippery woman evaded the attempt at capture, but Naruto managed to barely touch her with the tips of his glowing fingers. Sealing did not necessarily require ink and parchment, but the ability to properly mold chakra epitomized by the Summoning technique. While all seals had the potential to be almost instantaneously transcribed, some posed more difficult problems than others.

A gravity seal with a specific force of gravity could pose such a problem, but Naruto simply needed to add weight as much as possible as quickly as possible. The short time that Naruto's fingers glazed her skin could increase the force of gravity sufficiently enough to make an impact on her performance with the arm. In fact, he made a significant impact judging by the way she clutched the affected arm with her other arm from where she managed to distance herself.

Naruto loved these moments on the battlefield where the enemies stared at each other after the first exchange. He had been on the other side of the coin many a time, but today he stood tall. With a cruel smirk, he gave a wink before releasing another trio of shuriken after applying a seal to each one with the respective fingertip.

The shuriken soon started emitting copious amounts of smoke due to the faulty and chakra-intensive seals he placed. Grabbing the weighted Kunai at his feet, he threw it at the direction she sidestepped to dodge the shuriken. Coming out of the smoke, she deftly dodged the weighted Kunai with a mid-air spin.

With her eyes away from him, Naruto used the hours of doing his Substitution hand seals as quickly and accurately as possible to the test. Facing Naruto's previous position, she only saw a Kunai falling to the ground. Exhibiting above average instincts and intuition, she immediately turned back around forming another cross-block.

The weighted arm, however, couldn't rise quickly enough to block Naruto's mid-air roundhouse kick that slammed into her side ribs with full force. Her body bent into the blow before spinning with the momentum. Landing on the ground and behind her, Naruto punched her straight in the kidneys bending her body to his blow before placing her into a submission hold. With a free hand, he grabbed a regular Kunai and put it against her throat and used the other hand to keep her face pinned into the grassy field.

A proctor appeared in a displacement of air. According to the rules, a contender could surrender, but the proctor held final judgment whether a contender couldn't continue the fight should a victor appear obvious. The Games did not allow for fatal blows, and all potentially fatal blows would be instantaneously blocked or prevented by one of the six proctors watching a fight.

The problem, however, usually came in a contender unwilling to surrender out of sheer stubbornness and not a contender dealing fatal blows. The village frowned significantly on such behavior but also had to accept the reality that ninja would be ninja and clans would be clans. Naruto had the pleasure of being particularly renowned for his refusal to ever quit no matter the dire straits.

He also had the pleasure of getting his ass grilled out by all six proctors, the Headmistress, the Officer of the Games and even JiJi himself in regards to his reckless and endangering behavior. Naruto made it abundantly clear, however, that he would fight until the proctor forcibly removed him from the field or he fell unconscious for whatever reason. They returned with unending threats of removing him from the Academy-sponsored tournament along with a scroll-long list of demerits and punishments.

The matter dropped when the same Uchiha and Senju members had a particularly deadly combat that far exceeded even the worst of his behavior. They performed techniques on each other with the clear intent to harm and maim to all viewers, and they continued their spat while ignoring the Officer of the Games ending the fight in a double disqualification. When neither of them faced any repercussions other than a slap on the wrist because the guilty parties would be punished by their respective clans, Naruto marched into the Headmistress' office, the Officer of the Games' office and Jiji's office lambasting them and very vocally and very publicly calling bullshit on his perceived clan privilege.

Oddly enough, some dude who managed to look older than JiJi and had a missing eye and lame leg and dressed like a mummy took his side on the matter for what he heard in some of the various council meetings that Konoha seemed to have an endless number. Naruto only knew because Kiba heard it from his sister who attended the meeting in lieu of their mother whose mission disallowed her. When he heard this, Naruto tried to get in on the councils and task forces and meetings that the village hosted, but he quit as soon as he started once the whole quagmire gave him a massive migraine and distracted him from his busy schedule.

Apparently, the dude held him as an example of what the average student should act in regards to the idea of surrender. In fact, the dude argued that more kids should be like him after making some speech wailing about the softening of ninja that seems to occur every generation. Naruto didn't know about any of that nonsense, but he liked the idea of someone having his back on the matter even if the dude sounded like a total nutjob.

With the proctor ruling the girl out of the fight, Naruto immediately started towards the enemies' scroll as the medic-nins rushed into the field to gather the girl who had trouble standing. The Games, also, served as a wonderful source of training for ninja in the high school medical service and freshly graduated ninja's. Naruto could have joined the Uchiha in his fight against the Senju, but Naruto only needed to have tried once in getting between a clan rivalry to learn his lesson.


	27. Reversal of Fortune

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER NINE: THE GAMES

REVERSAL OF FORTUNE

* * *

AN: Happy Thanksgiving!

* * *

One could not win in such a situation, and Naruto didn't like to lose. Furthermore, such fights had an infamous nature of lasting far longer than needed. One time after defeating his foe, Naruto simply watched the endless battle of a Sarutobi and an Aburame of all people engage in a personal feud over a girl. He had trouble identifying an Aburame's gender due to their full-body clothing and rarity of speech, so it was rather a surprise that the Aburame turned out to be a male. Also, it turned out that when they do talk; they literally won't stop until they diagnose the issue, the answer, and the reasoning for the rule in one extended type of formal logic. Naruto found the situation so ridiculous that he couldn't help but stare and watch. He got poor rankings for doing so, but he found the up-close and personal experience more than worth it. Life didn't have to be about ranking all the time.

Jumping in front of the remaining enemy, he assessed the lanky and thin guy standing in front of the scroll's container. A simple seal that opened the container with a three second application kept the scroll from being snatched with ease. He couldn't remember anything special about this guy, but the dude's physical stature made Naruto anxious.

Unfortunately, the warning in his head didn't overwhelm his itching fingers that really wanted to try out the freshly inked exploding tags in one of his jacket's many hidden seals. While frowned upon, the exploding tag could be used in a non-lethal nature. Granted, that made all uses of the exploding tag apparent and obvious as a method of distraction or disorientation, but Naruto didn't care so long as it got the job done.

In a rapid succession of unsealing three hidden seals and throwing the appearing Kunai with exploding tags on the back, loud explosions that rocked Naruto's teeth from his position ten meters away sent ripples across the grassy field. Naruto dashed forward sending one last Kunai with a dampened explosion not allowing the defender time to regain his senses.

In the smoke and ash, he found the boy with a slight sheen of soot on his spandex attire. Bells rang in Naruto's ears, but he ignored them in his unwillingness to sacrifice the measure of advantage he created from himself. Lunging forward, he started his chaotic taijutsu, but the boy expertly weaved and dodged through the blows not completely dissimilar to the girl before him.

The boy, however, had a more fluid and elastic nature in his dodged and weaves as if he didn't have bones. In sudden clarity, Naruto abandoned his attack barely dodging an inhumanely extended limb and threw a quickly summoned exploding Kunai at the ground. Using the distance he created, Naruto rushed towards the sealing container and slapped his hand on the top.

Ticking the seconds in his head, Naruto used his unoccupied hand to throw regular shuriken at the incoming elastic boy. Naruto barely managed to yank the scroll out to prevent the seal from sealing itself back up before dodging the extended punch straight at his face. Unable to afford the extra second to secure the scroll, Naruto tossed it out and temporarily disengaged from the fight.

The two of them stared at each other with the scroll harmlessly resting in the grass waving in the subtle breeze of midday. Naruto carefully regulated his breath and felt the sweat dripping down his face. While he expended no more energy than a thirty-minute warm up, the stop-and-go nature drained energy quickly, and the constant mental awareness of fighting exhausted him mentally.

He tried to think of any tools, tricks or seals he had at his disposal, but he came up blank. In any lifestyle, a one-hit winning technique never existed, or everyone would have it. The Clone technique would be taught in the upcoming semester, and the Sealing Arts Club and Division both refused to allow him access to elemental chakra related seals that he desperately craved in his thirst for information and quite frankly power.

He accepted not learning the basic five elemental chakra techniques until high school, but he didn't need see any sense in delaying it for sealing as well. For instance, an electrical seal placed around his body would be perfect for the eventual long-limbed submission hold from the elastic boy.

Naruto loved traps like that. Giving the enemy a sense of victory and then stealing it away from them and squashing it with his own two hands in front of their misbegotten faces gave Naruto some of his greatest moments of euphoria. He was never exactly considered a graceful winner or loser. Unfortunately, today wouldn't be one of those days. He would have to trudge it out through sheer force of strength and will against his foe.

Accepting his fate, Naruto steeled himself for the fight and dual wielded regular Kunai from his leg pouch. He still sucked as much as he did in one of his training sessions with Mizuki between elementary and middle school, but he didn't need to be an expert of Kunai techniques for this battle.

Still looking at each other, they both saw a leaf blowing in the wind and conveniently falling between them. With a very subtle nod of the head, they both let the leaf fall to the ground before launching themselves across the gap. Activating the purposefully faulty smoke seals he added with his hands during the waiting period, he swirled the Kunai in slashing motions against the elastic boy to create the largest smoke cloud he could.

For some reason, Naruto excelled at fighting with one or more impaired senses compared to his peers. With having absolutely no talent in anything at all, the discovery came as a longstanding answer to his prayers. Even his instructors that always held their compliments to themselves noticed his preternatural abilities in the field. And if one had an advantage in a certain field, one turned the literal field into the field they had an advantage. For instance, he planned on limiting his opponent's vision as much as possible.

In a flurry of blows and counter-blows, Naruto eked out an advantage and exploited it to the fullest. The flexible nature of his opponent allowed him to avoid the stabs and slashes of the uncoordinated Kunai, but Naruto endured like a true Shinobi.

The fighting continued without much progress on either side meaning that Naruto only managed to even the playing field and not actually create an advantage. Naruto bared his teeth in recognition for the fight ahead of him. This would be one of those fights that Naruto won simply by having the most stamina and wearing his opponent down.

He had done it in far more fights than he wanted to admit, but he didn't have insane stamina and chakra reserves for nothing. He didn't plan on discounting the advantage either simply because of the hard work involved. As the chakra smoke dissipated, Naruto kept reapplying and releasing the seals. He attempted on multiple occasions to place a gravity seal on his opponent, but the slippery nature of the beast wouldn't let him.

All of a sudden Naruto realized how much of an idiot he truly could be at times. Opening himself up to a submission hold, he let the opponent latch onto him and start wrapping himself around Naruto with a few needless comments. Faking an expression of shock on his face, Naruto reached with both of his hands for the boy's constricting body and began applying the gravity seal.

The fake expression of shock quickly passed for real shock. The gravity seal couldn't be implemented with the boy's growing body because it stretched the seal beyond functioning parameters for even the lousiest of seals. All of a sudden Naruto realized how much of an idiot he truly could be at times.

He tried to alter the way he normally implanted the seal with his chakra by changing the seal, but his changes wouldn't function and didn't properly even out with the growing boy's body. At moments like these, Naruto realized just how far he still needed to go before even calling himself a journeyman of the Sealing Arts.

"Fuck this shit," Naruto growled out in frustration.

Grabbing the fucker's body with his hands as harshly as possible, he tugged and struggled against the freak's body. The clan didn't even have a fucking bloodline limit. The ability to stretch limbs could be learned by anyone, and every single blasted village had a clan that specialized in the stupid technique because it could only reach its maximum potential if reared appropriately from a young age.

Naruto didn't know how he had this particular ability, but if he got sufficiently pissed, he could grow his fingernails into claws and canine teeth into fangs. He asked a JiJi about the condition, but he insured Naruto that the feature didn't pose any problems. In fact, JiJi even suggested using the ability if properly presented with a situation that could make use of fangs and claws. A ninja uses every tool at his or her disposal.

Although when Naruto asked about his obvious Inuzuka heritage, JiJi all of a sudden grew serious and denied the allegation without hesitation. He even pulled some nonsense about blood tests they ran during his childhood when he became inconsolable about his parentage. Naruto shrugged at the bad mood JiJi always had when he made references to his potential parentage. He grew out of caring about his stupid loser parents whose greatest accomplishments involved dying to the Nine Tails like the other scores of Shinobi and civilians. If everyone dies a hero, then no one is a hero.

Channeling the harsh thoughts inappropriately running through his head, Naruto embraced the anger and frustration to struggle against the constricting hold of the enemy. The two wrestled across the ground with Naruto's claws digging into the weak flesh of his foe and his mouth seeking purchase as well. With a roar, Naruto sought to tear the serpent apart like a mongoose, but the boy continued his stretching and stupid fucking comments on the futility of the matter.

After giving his 'give up on me giving up' catchphrase, Naruto reached for his Kunai and shuriken pouches, but the elastic boy quickly covered up the openings. Naruto, then, went for any of the hidden seals on his jacket, but the elastic boy quickly covered up those openings as well. He just wanted to shank the bitch in his frustration, but the bastard wouldn't even let him do that.

The freak started the final step in his submission hold by wrapping around Naruto's thrashing neck. Giving up on his claws finding purchase on his opponent's body or a Kunai, Naruto brought them up to his neck to prevent the bastard from choking him unconscious before his opponent's body could tie up his arms. They continued to ceaselessly struggle against each other. Naruto didn't exercise twice a fucking day everyday and eat himself to poverty to lose in a competition of strength.

"So the mongrel shows his claws," the piece of shit said above him.

"All the better to eat you with," Naruto hissed. "I hear snake filet is seriously underrated."

The fucker just squeezed harder in response, while the scroll lay somewhere in the distance from their struggling bodies. Naruto could only imagine the stupidity of his random teammates for the match. The Uchiha would no doubt be continuing his self-righteous campaign against his eternal rival, while Sakura wet herself at the thought of sucking the princess' piece after the Uchiha eventually and heroically saved the day for the whole team.

It amazed Naruto how a simple and easy match such as this could change so quickly because of one useless teammate. When this match ended, he would praise his female opponent for her prowess in actually fighting like a legitimate kunoichi from every venue possible while Sakura buckled her knees in fright like a bee. Dear gods, he prayed that one day he would have a fight against the pink haired disgrace to fucking pummel the rich bitch into dust. Channeling the anger into his resistance, he started to make some progress before the elastic boy redoubled his efforts.

A sharp whistle broke out across the clearing attracting the wrestling boy's attention away from their ceaseless struggle. Even the rival clan members stopped their fight and threw their spiteful glances at the proctor standing the middle of the field on the left side. Burning wood continued to fall down from the sky as they cancelled their renewed salvo of ninjutsu to match their recent taijutsu exchange.

On their side of the field, Sakura stood bashfully by their seal container with both the Heaven and the Earth scrolls raised in the air. She made eye contact with her Uchiha crush before wilting against his glare for interrupting his fight. Naruto found the situation beyond hilarious and started laughing uproariously, while his claws and fangs shrank back into his body.

With an exasperated sigh, the elastic boy unwound himself from Naruto and returned to his normal human form before walking away from the field. The Senju soon followed to their side of the field where Naruto's first opponent remained a little dizzy from the medic-nins running their healing chakra through her body with a particular refocus on her ribs that he kicked and her kidneys that he punched.

One problem with his "abilities", however, was that his physical manifestations disappeared far quicker than his actual state. He had yet to recognize the effects of the mental residue of his triggering mechanism. Then again, the idea that one's thoughts aren't one hundred percent one's own thoughts is a scary thought in and of itself, and not a thought accepted easily.

"So you actually can do something," Naruto shouted from across the field while rubbing some of the sorer parts on his body. "When someone does all of the work for you, you can actually move your worthless self and do something productive for the team instead of standing around like a complete fool! It's a fucking miracle! Praise the Gods!"

Naruto threw his hands in the air and looked around at the surprisingly stacked stands. He forgot that the Uchiha and Senju match would drag the largest crowd for a 7th grade Games match. Even some of the older members of the clans showed up for the direct family line showdown with a few high ranking Shinobi from the village.

Hell, the majority of their grade showed up. Both the elastic boy and the speedy girl's clans showed up in large numbers along with the majority of the Haruno clan. The girl shrank within herself bringing her arms back down and tucked her chin into her chest looking at her feet and shining everyone with her giant forehead.

Naruto's hackles rose at the sight of such a weak-willed creature. He worked his ass off every day to get to this very moment. To be able to stand toe-to-toe with one of his clan-born peers and not lose, yet here stood some girl in a perfectly clean dress taking responsibility for winning the match.

He pointed his finger and opened his mouth to shout at her but brought it back shaking his head. She wouldn't even be worth the effort. Nonetheless, he felt the need to say something on the matter regardless of how many enemies he might make in the village. He couldn't care less about their opinion; it's not like they have done anything noteworthy for him. He got here from the help of a select few and his own willpower and determination, while this pathetic excuse for a kunoichi rode on the coat tails of other's hard work.

"Fuck this shit. You might have won the damn Game, but the only real kunoichi on this field was her," Naruto said pointing at the other female contender with his voice carrying across the field and the stands, "who actually fought. Who actually bled. Who actually sacrificed something for her team other than fucking taking a few steps and carrying a scroll across the field!"

All eyes on the stadium went to Naruto's first opponent before returning either to Naruto or Sakura. The pink-haired girl looked up from her bangs around the stands and her shoulders started shaking uncontrollably and tears slipped down her cheeks. She reached into her Kunai pouch and slid one out.

'Dear fucking gods, this woman is crazy,' Naruto thought.

She weakly held it up with the blade facing down before releasing her grip. The Kunai fell far faster than a regular Kunai. Naruto internally groaned and looked across his shoulder at the enemies' sealing container where the other weighted Kunai lay stuck in the ground.

It didn't take him long to figure out that she used his own weighted Kunai to substitute herself. She must have used the weighted Kunai he left in the middle of the field for the substitutions and just picked up the Kunai at their scroll to impress him after she finished ogling the Uchiha. He automatically brought one his hands up to pinch his nose in frustration.

He really dug his own hole that he subsequently used to bury himself. Peering over his hand, the he immediately saw his ex-girlfriend sitting in the stands shaking her head in clear disapproval. Fucking judgmental bitch.

Haruno gave a painful hiccup in the ensuing silence and ran out to their sidelines and promptly left the field with her hands rubbing her eyes. The rest of the audience started mumbling to each other loudly and getting up to leave. Meanwhile, the Uchiha walked past unaffected and whispered dumbass as Naruto fetched his Kunai and shuriken he used in the battle.

Unlike everyone else, apparently, he didn't have the funds to casually replace perfectly decent weapons. It embarrassed Naruto to be picking up his and everyone's battlefield scraps particularly after this bout, but he had thicker skin that that. Naruto sighed to himself as he picked up the weighted Kunai that Sakura dropped and looked around the deserted stands.

Sometimes one could lose while winning and vice-versa. He also had no doubt that he would catch a lot of flak for his actions when everyone returned to classes after the weekend. Furthermore, the proctors would find a way to dock his points or some other petty action. Sometimes it felt like the Games were more about proper behavior on the battlefield rather than pure victory.

A movement from the right and towards the opposing team's sidelines caught his attention. His female opponent clutching one side of her body held out three of his shuriken.

"You know you're not wrong," she said with a sassy smirk. "You're just an asshole."

Naruto couldn't help himself from laughing again, "You've got me there."

"I just wanted to say that I don't some orphan trash defending my honor as a future kunoichi of the Leaf, but it was nice to hear anyway," she said with the same irritating smirk.

Naruto felt his humor immediately leave his body. He reached for the shuriken nonetheless to swipe them from her hand and disengage himself from the situation before he punched this bitch in her ugly mug. She pulled them back immediately with a little strain in her arm from pain in her ribs.

"Oh, someone can't take the medicine they deal, I see. Why don't we talk about it over the dinner that you're going to be buying me?" she asked, not faltering in her facial expression.

'What the fuck is going on right now,' Naruto thought to himself.

Naruto raised his eyebrow and blinked rapidly at the question that came out of nowhere, "Are you asking me on a date?"

"If it helps your sensitive ego, sure," she replied with a one-sided smile.

Naruto shrugged giving up on trying to deduce where she made that truly outstanding leap of logic, especially considering what she just called him. He truly didn't understand women. He just made a complete fool and ass out of himself in front of their grade and five respectable clans, and the girl he trashed stood before him asking for a date. Maybe, if he played his cards right, he might even relieve some pent up tension.

"Sounds like a date to me," he said with a soft smile and gave a short pretentious bow. "Would you like to have dinner with me, future kunoichi of the Leaf?"

She held out the shuriken with a laugh, "Look at me. I even brought flowers."

Naruto grew a shit-eating grin and stuck out his elbow for her to take while using his other hand to bring the shuriken to his nose and gave an exaggerated sniff, "They smell beautiful."

"I'm glad you like them," she said. "I just picked them fresh from the field."

Noticing her arm weighing to the side, he bent over and traced his fingers up and down his bare arm to disable the gravity seal, "They're just what the doctor ordered."

"Oh, I've never had a date with a doctor before," she said stretching her arm out, "Are they all as touchy as you?"

"I find in the medical profession it's more about the quality of touch and not the quantity of touch," Naruto said leaning into her side. "When I touch, I want my patients to really know it."

She touched her forehead dramatically with the back of her hand, "I'm swooning doctor, and we haven't even eaten yet."

Naruto looked down at her from his extra inch of height, "Have you heard about this place called Ichiraku Ramen?"

"I thought doctor's only ate at fancy-shmancy restaurants?" She asked.

"Doctor's orders, ya know," Naruto said with a little chuckle as they walked away from the deserted field as the high schoolers working on their D rank missions fixed the field with their basic understanding of elemental chakra.

"That doesn't even make sense," she laughed softly.

Naruto winked at her, "I thought the goal was to make the patient senseless from the doctor's touch?"

She gave a louder laugh, "I don't think that's how it works, doctor-san."

"Oh, no," Naruto said in false confusion. "I guess I've been reading the wrong books on the matter."

"Ah, a literary man," she asked before slightly crinkling her face. "You wouldn't happen to read those disgraceful books?"

"My favorite color is orange," he said in a shrug.

She slapped him to the shoulder with a bark of laughter before leaning against him as they walked down the street. "Don't get the wrong idea," she said. "I'm just a little sore."

Naruto couldn't help himself from remarking, "I'll have you limping in no time, believe it!"

The girl snorted and punched his shoulder again, "Perv."

"What can I say? The ladies love me," he deflected.


	28. Development

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER NINE: THE GAMES

DEVELOPMENT

* * *

"One more dawg, you've got it, one more," Kiba chanted as Naruto's arms and chest muscles struggled to lift the bar up from his chest to the rack. Heaving the heavy weight up, the distinct sound of metal-on-metal resounded through the weight room with other boys and girls lifting various weights. Naruto slid underneath the metal bar in his tank top ripped all the way to the waist band practically revealing all of his torso.

"Ha," Naruto panted as he worked his arms out, "Ready for the next station?"

"Water first," Kiba chided as his growing ninja dog companion circled around his feet.

Taking some large swigs from his water bottle, Naruto shook his head in humor before getting up and moving to the squat station. At their age, the Academy with current developments in modern medicine ruled that moderate weight lifting wouldn't detrimentally affect developing ninja as it would children without developing chakra systems. Naruto liked the new weight lifting class because it gave him the ability to see how other people worked out and their exercises unlike the ones he still performed from Mizuki.

"So," Kiba asked as he changed the weights. "How are you and your latest smash piece."

Naruto leaned forward to the girl duo nearby performing an incline press to say unnecessarily loud, "She's the best woman a man could ever have."

"What sort of stupid answer is that?" Kiba asked as he got underneath the bar without padding.

Naruto got behind the bar to spot Kiba, "What sort of stupid question is that? Asking me in public about my private life. Do you clans folk just air your dirty laundry in front of each other's faces?"

Kiba grunted before starting his preliminary squats, "What's the point of having a girlfriend than other to share the dirty deets."

"I don't know Kiba the Facelicker," Naruto asked, "What else is there?"

Kiba huffed, "You made a fucking girl cry in front of like five different clans and half of our grade, but I'm the bad guy for licking a girl's cheek for the rest of my life?"

"Dude, shut up about that," Naruto chastised, "I apologized to her and her family and did my community service bullshit, so it's all over. Plus, it happened like three months ago."

"So, my one precious moment of seven minutes in Heaven happened like two years ago," Kiba argued. "And you fucking love your sealing crap anyway. The point of community service is to like suffer and shit. You're ruining the whole entire point."

"Are you forgetting the part where the proctors demoted me a rank in the tournament?" Naruto asked grabbing the bar from Kiba as he back stepped to the rack.

Kiba barked laughter, "You should have seen your face dude at the boards. It was priceless."

Naruto and Kiba switched spots adding a little weight due to Naruto's strange ability to gain body mass at a quicker rate than even his clan peers. Naruto couldn't complain too much about that fact. Some instructors issued minor worries about Naruto's size due to the fact that Shinobi should be a more wiry muscle compared to pure muscle bulk.

People, however, didn't have the ability to control how their muscles built. They could only control how much muscle they built. Kiba's muscles, for instance, grew similar to Naruto's, and he had enormous leg muscles especially his hamstrings expected of Inuzuka males.

While Naruto and Kiba had never had a match together, Naruto saw all of Kiba's matches as he did for Naruto and saw firsthand the famous Inuzuka Fang techniques in action. The dude packed a punch without a doubt.

Starting his reps, Naruto said, "Yeah, well, apparently, I 'displayed clear unsportsmanship-like behavior unfitting of the Leaf's Academy's principles' or some bullshit. You should have seen the proctor remarks, though. I got top marks for my False Thunder God technique and quick neutralization of my first opponent."

Kiba snorted behind him, "I can't get over that retarded name. It's not even a technique. You're literally just doing a Substitution with one your fancy-shmancy Kunai."

"Hence the False," Naruto quickly pointed out.

"Anyway, what comments did they have on your gay-ass wrestling match with Stretchy Dude," Kiba retorted.

"Yeah, well, we can't all be perfect," Naruto answered.

"Yeah, keep saying that hotshot," Kiba said helping Naruto racking the weight. Naruto zoned out while Kiba started his next set using Naruto's weight increase for his next set. He couldn't be too mad about the punishment he received for his actions against Sakura during the match. While Kiba did make good points, he didn't know why Naruto really didn't care.

His new girlfriend made sure of it. His previous girlfriend thought she had an adventurous and sensual side of life, but she could only compare herself to her rather prudish older sister. His ex-girlfriend felt like she had a duty to not do certain things despite making it more than clear that he could handle taking the next step.

His new girlfriend, a member of a rather small civilian-turned-ninja clan, did not have the same reservations. In fact, he still had wet dreams about their first date. Over the past months, he came to terms with her public fetish. On the way to his favorite restaurant ever, he regaled her with how much he loved the place and the people especially who treated him so kindly even during elementary school.

The old man always talked about how when he started as a young kid with his father the place only had six bar stools for customers. Over time, however, the place grew and expanded by eating up the neighboring store owners. After ordering food and making the proper introductions with the kind old man and his granddaughter, they grabbed a corner booth in the surprisingly large restaurant judging from the front.

Naruto guessed looking back on the situation that he talked about the old man's granddaughter too much because his date sat on the same side of the booth as him. From there, she started rubbing up on him and making quick work over his pants underneath the customary napkin. When the owner or granddaughter came by to fill up their drinks or deliver the succulent bowls of ramen, she didn't even stop her movements causing the two to suspect an illness judging from the redness of his face.

His previous girlfriend gave him multiple over the pants handjobs and teases but absolutely never in public. This clan girl, on the other hand, did it in front of the people he openly admitted acted as close as real parents Naruto had. He didn't like to talk to people about his relationship with JiJi because they always asked too many noisy questions that he would rather not ask or even really think about in regards to his abnormal relationship with the leader of the strongest Hidden Village in all of the Elemental Nations.

While Naruto initially didn't think highly with non-penetration orgasms, his tune changed after a little experimenting and putting his resourceful nature to good uses. His new girlfriend had the same adamant opinion as his ex-girlfriend on a non-penetration rule. Naruto wondered if all the girls in his grade made some creed on the matter. Disregarding the notion of more than two teenage girls agreeing on something, his new girlfriend added an extra spice with her public flair.

After they finished their meal and Naruto paid for both of them, Naruto had massive blue balls and a hard-on that he hid underneath his waistband. He couldn't even pleasure her because she told him to keep his hands above or on the table at all times. As they exited the building with Naruto not profusely thanking the owners enough as always did in his opinion, she suddenly dragged him into the alleyway nearby and then behind the building slightly.

Naruto didn't mind the spontaneity at all, and he liked the passion that his ex-girlfriend stopped exhibiting even in the slightest bit later in the relationship. Not even letting Naruto the potential to ask what's up, she threw her arms around his neck and started making out with the taste of ramen being exchanged between them.

Naruto might as well have been in heaven. He had no idea why she even acted like this around him. He ruthlessly hit her without holding back in the slightest with his roundhouse kick and that kidney shot didn't even really need to happen. Naruto learned early on with his first girlfriend not to question female motives and expect a reasonable answer.

After an incredibly hot and passionate make-out session, they broke their kiss before diving straight back into it. While his hands roamed her sides and back, she went to unbuckle his belt. Not expecting the quick development, Naruto froze while she continued to unbutton and unzip his pants in the back alleyway of Ichiraku Ramen nipping at his frozen tongue. Right when Naruto started getting back into it, she disengaged with a peck on the lips before crouching in front of him dragging his pants to his ankles.

Naruto could only mutely watch as she felt up the tent in his boxers. With a foxy smile, she dragged his boxers' waistband down to above his knees and started rubbing his shaft up and down. Naruto crashed his head back against the brick wall with a loud moan.

As he tried to regain his bearings, she kissed the tip before licking up and down the shaft with both of her hands working him. He placed both of his hands in her hair after pulling up to bite his shirt to not attract any attention with the noises she elicited from him. Soon after, she gave another kiss before encasing the first few inches into her mouth.

Working him up and down using the roughness of her tongue while adding suction, it didn't take long for Naruto to start panting and drooling around the shirt in his mouth. Suddenly, the street alleyway door opened with the sound of one of the helpers carrying out bags of garbage to the alleyway dumpster. Naruto froze all movement, but the girl only stopped momentarily before continuing her divine work.

The little devil even took in more of his length into her mouth. Furthermore, she used one of her hands to rub up and down what she couldn't fit into her delectable mouth and used the other hand to fondle his family jewels. When the bastard finally went back inside the restaurant, Naruto let out the deepest moan he had ever held inside him.

He looked down at the sight beneath and in front of him to see her outstretched mouth around his member and looking up with eyes shimmering in amusement. He couldn't handle it anymore and warned her. She simply continued her work before grabbing the base of his pulsating length and squeezing.

Naruto felt a silent scream bubbling up from the bottom of his chest before she took him out of her mouth. The cool air hit the moisture on his member sent pleasant shivers through his whole body. Without any warning, she released her grip and with some encouraging pumps had him spewing across the small alleyway on to the neighboring wall behind Ichiraku Ramen.

She caught him as he slumped against the wall without care for his knees giving out underneath him. It took him a minute or two to regain his senses enough to continue to lean his head against her shoulder while raggedly breathing. In the mean time, she pulled his boxers and pants back up even zipping and buttoning him up.

Naruto voiced his only lucid thought, "How's a date tomorrow sound."

She laughed heartily, "Where to?"

"My face," Naruto responded without hesitation.

She continued her laugh, "Aw, I wanted to watch an empty movie in the back of a theatre."

Naruto moaned in pleasure at the thought, "Deal."

"Naruto!" Kiba shouted in his face. "Earth to Naruto!"

"Huh?" Naruto said snapping out of his memories.

"I said it's your turn," Kiba said in his face. "Thanks for spotting dawg."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment and trying to get rid of the blush he knew he had on his face, "Sorry, sorry, was just daydreaming."

"Uh-huh," Kiba said non-plussed until purposefully raising his voice. "I think everyone here knows about who too."

"Hey now," Naruto said in good faith and getting underneath the bar. Maybe they could do it in the weight room or a gym next time?

"I stop talking to you for one set, and you get all dreamy about your girlfriend on me," Kiba complained. "Bros before hoes, dawg."

"Yeah, well, the moment you start sucking," Naruto stopped himself from committing a major fuck-up. "Never mind."

Kiba laughed all the while Naruto did his set. Naruto, on the other hand, tried to desperately ignore the situation and a few knowing looks from the girls just waiting for him to finish his thought. It didn't help that the girls continued staring at his ever increasing rear that popped out every time he performed a squat in his perfect form.

"Right," Kiba said. "That's not the kind of bone I fetch. Anyway, excited for summer? It's like a month and a half away."

Naruto looked down. He had apprehensions about summer. He would without a doubt continue his summer associateship with the Sealing Arts Division that he ensured last fall. He just felt nervous that he would screw up with this girlfriend as well.

During one of their more serious talks, he came clean about his part in his ex's breakup. She nodded in understanding and told him not to worry. Her parents had her working this summer anyway as an assistant track and field coach for a summer camp program which would have the added bonus of increasing her sprint speeds and overall flexibility.

If he played his cards right this summer, he'd be able to continue testing out her delicious flexibility. He had bought a book of 101 positions to try out and shared it with her on their one-month anniversary. She laughed, and they tried one out later that night. Unfortunately, they quickly discovered that the non-penetration requirement disqualified all of the positions.

He, of course, used that as a prime of example why they should disregard the rule, but she remained just as adamant. Finishing his set and starting to really feel the burn, he switched spots with Kiba.

"Yeah," Naruto said without any inflection. "What are you doing?"

"Working for the clan like usual," Kiba said without much energy and starting his set. "Hopefully, Mom will finally let me learn another technique and stop treating me like a pup all the time."

"No offense Kiba," Naruto said in earnest, "but Akamaru still only comes up to your knee at least. He probably can't handle some of the more strenuous techniques."

"Ugh," Kiba groaned. "You sound just like my mom and sister. He's just a late-bloomer, right Akamaru? Hey! You would know about that more than anyone else."

"Yeah, I would," Naruto acquiesced, "but look at me now. I'm doing more weight than you on the squats."

"Yeah, well, Fate's a tricky bitch like that," Kiba said. No one in their class felt more pride and joy at Naruto's turn-around in life. They used to be really good friends in elementary school before Naruto got into a real funk and pushed everyone out of his life and just kind of collapsed socially, physically and emotionally. Kiba tried to avoid mentioning it because he, like Naruto, would rather just ignore the past Naruto.

"Amen," Naruto answered. "Okay, one more rep Kiba. You've got it."

Kiba racked the weights in a slightly clumsy rush, "I'll catch up to you yet."

Naruto laughed getting underneath the bar, "That's what you said when I beat you in sprints and long-distance last semester."

"You've always been ungodly with your stamina so that doesn't even count," Kiba defended. "I have no idea how you beat me at sprints."

"Fate's a tricky bitch like that," Naruto retorted.

"Ha. Ha. Ha," Kiba said.

"Hey, by the way, does your mom still hate me?" Naruto asked from his vulnerable position squatting in front of Kiba.

"Oh for your bestiality comments you little shit," Kiba said with a little heat. "We Inuzuka aren't quick to forgive or forget, but we've seen how you talk to everyone else regardless of authority or prestige and just took it as a Naruto kind of thing. Plus, everyone knows that bully of yours is a total douche bag. Oh, and that Season of the Wedgies sure smoothed things over."

Naruto groaned at the phantom pain in his crack at the mere mention, "Well, that's good to know."

As Naruto racked his set, Kiba asked, "So what color is it today?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked.

Kiba pulled up Naruto's long tank top and reached into his athletic shorts grabbing the boxers' waistband and yanking upwards, "Wedgie!"

Naruto immediately went into his self-created wedgie protocol and maneuvered out, but the damage had been done. Spending a few minutes to dig the wedgie out, he let everyone see his camouflage boxers with a roll of his eyes. He gave Kiba a glare before rushing to return the favor, but Kiba simply backed up and waved his finger in his whiskered face.

"We won't be having that in my gym class, Inuzuka, Uzumaki," their butch of a weight trainer said.

"I'll get you back," Naruto promised.

"We'll see," Kiba answered.

"If you're done with your sets boys, next station," the weight trainer yelled over the random reverberations of metal-on-metal from kids removing and racking weights.

"So, my mom said there's some weird shit going on in the Land of Rice at the moment," Kiba said.

Naruto rolled his eyes at the obvious attempt at changing the topic from Naruto's imminent revenge plot, "And what would that be?"

"I don't know," Kiba answered. "She didn't say."

"Thanks for the update then reporter Inuzuka," Naruto said as he prepared the leg press on one side.

"How's your Clone technique coming along," Kiba asked instead diverting the conversation once again.

"Fucking terrible, dude," Naruto answered situating himself in the seat and beginning his leg press. "I can't fucking do shit with it."

"Yeah, it's really not that hard, dawg," Kiba answered, "but then again. All Inuzuka have to know it to do our Four Legs technique and the Fang Passing Fang technique."

"Lucky clan son of a bitch," Naruto growled under his breath as he finished his reps.


	29. Weakest Link in the Chain

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER NINE: THE GAMES

WEAKEST LINK IN THE CHAIN

* * *

Naruto stared unimpressed across the field with the same Uchiha at his side as the Game when he met his on-going girlfriend who sucked his soul in all the right ways. To finish the three-man team, they had the Hyuga heiress of all people. Now, Naruto knew some cold-hearted bitches in his life like the Headmistress, but this girl could freeze an Uchiha wildfire with her gaze.

She performed the highest of all Kunoichi hence her presence on the last Game of the 7th grade season, which Naruto squeaked into by, due to an incredible upset in the match of his best friend Kiba Inuzuka, some bug boy and the Hyuga heiress against the latest Ino-Shika-Cho trio. Shikamaru managed a plan that actually won, but none of his teammates and himself had the stamina to make the last few moves to actually win the match.

While everyone received high scores, the first place score went to the Hyuga heiress compared to Ino whose previous matches under different teams didn't net enough points to move into the next round. Fortunately, none of the four boys made enough points to defeat Naruto's standing, which already netted him fourth place in the overall standings.

First and second place tied with the Uchiha and the Senju, of course, with the third place going to a Sarutobi. The second place kunoichi went to a girl hailing from the Hatake clan who created the fight between the same Sarutobi and the Akimichi that Naruto enjoyed watching. Apparently, her father had her out of wedlock or something but considered her his own child nonetheless. There was something about an elopement, too, but Naruto didn't care much for clan politics or family trees.

As the natural black sheep of the family due to her technical illegitimacy, she carried a heavy chip on her shoulder, but she used her mother's and father's good looks and natural talents to make things work. Her father descended from the main family line and a direct descendent from the White Fang of the Leaf himself. Her mother descended, on the other hand, from a very successful Kunoichi from the Land of Wind. They met at a diplomatic meeting during the reign of the late Minato Namikaze, where the Kunoichi, according to the Leaf clans, seduced Hatake.

As the final match for their grade and tradition dictates, the Headmistress reserved the Leaf Stadium for their match. Due to the prestigious nature of all the contenders except for Naruto, the Officer of the Games had no trouble filling up the first tier of seats and even sold extra tickets for non-Shinobi interested in watching this set of Games. Naruto didn't care that the eyes didn't gravitate towards him naturally, but he took what he could get.

He even convinced JiJi to show up and watch it to get him away from his boring paperwork. Also, Naruto totally wanted to show off how far he had improved. The fact that the opposing team had a Sarutobi member only made it slightly awkward in Naruto's opinion.

Even better, his girlfriend promised to pamper him with a day of rest and relaxation should he not make a complete fool of himself. In other words, they would be doing it like rabbits without the penetration, but still Naruto bought a whole box of condoms in preparation. Nonetheless, she imposed a rather tough task for him to complete taking into account his nature to frequently make a fool of himself, especially given the circumstances.

Despite all of this, Naruto stated unimpressed across the field. The heiress of the Hyuga clan apparently felt too high and mighty to take the defensive position. The Uchiha didn't even entertain the idea of not dueling with his arch-nemesis of the Senju clan. Thus, he stood by the sealing container making it at least three times more difficult not to make a fool of himself.

He really needed to apologize to Sakura again because he finally understood what it felt like to be the defensive chump. He might as well do it right now since he didn't have anything better to do.

Placing his hands around his mouth, he shouted, "I'd just like to make an apology to Sakura Haruno for the comments I made a few months back. I realize how much it sucks to be the defender now!"

He took the general laughter of the crowd as a good sign although he didn't really care about they thought on the matter. Eventually finding the girl in the crowd by the direction of everyone else's eyes, he turned and gave an apologetic bow to girl who mimicked a turtle hiding in its shell. Finding his girlfriend sitting with her civilian-turned-Shinobi clan, he gave her a thumbs up to the girl who palmed her face and shook her head in the negative. Did he already fuck up?

"Anyone else have any extremely late announcements to make?" the Officer of the Games and head proctor for this match asked the six contenders. "No? Good. The match will begin in 3, 2, 1, Fight!"

While the Uchiha and Senju fought using Naruto's nicknamed Burning Wood technique, the Hyuga heiress engaged the Sarutobi. The Hyuga's world famous Gentle Fist fighting style clashed in sparks of pure chakra against the Sarutobi's staff made from Hashirama wood. Naruto felt the urge to pick his nose and scratch his ass in boredom but decided to think like Sakura by taking advantage of the quickest opening.

Luckily, Naruto's orphan upbringing instilled him with an opportunistic mindset. If his weighted Kunai helped Sakura, then surely they would help him. With that mind, he thanked his girlfriend's advice to bring a dozen pre-sealed Kunai. Activating the hidden seals in his jacket, Naruto threw a flurry of his weighted Kunai across their half of the field. Looking back on it, he should have probably asked the offensive members of his team to carry some to throw out.

With a shrug, he jotted the mental note down for later use and watched the two fights ensue. Unlike his fights that frequently bogged down into a fight stamina, the clan fights bogged down until someone made an error. If a ninja from a clan made an error, then the enemy would capitalize on the error and effectively win the match assuming he or she didn't make an equally bad or worse error themselves.

This effect resulted from the clan's techniques revolving around flawless form perfected over countless generations of practitioners. Thus, a complete novice could spot a mistake, and the performer of the technique could not easily rectify the mistake in the next move and usually took three or four moves to regain equilibrium of form.

Naruto, on the other hand, opened himself up to all sorts of faults in his form when his opponent outmatched him with the reasonable expectation the enemy to capitalize on it. When the enemy did, Naruto sprung the trap and hopefully ensured his own win by taking advantage of the hubris of the enemy. While simple in theory, having an adequate trap and pulling it off developed a whole web of potential errors. Hence, Plans A through K existed.

To be honest, Naruto knew his team would win without trouble. The Uchiha and the Senju would fight to a standstill increasing both of their fighting skills dramatically. The Hyuga, on the other hand, would defeat her Sarutobi opponent after a decent bout that allowed the boy to show some skill with the staff. Unfortunately, the Hyuga's special Eye Prowess couldn't be defeated without serious misstep on the part of the practitioner, massively outnumbering the Hyuga or simply waiting for chakra exhaustion despite the Hyuga's strong chakra reserves and light drain of chakra in their Gentle Fist and Eye Prowess.

Thus, the only way Naruto could get a good showing would be to just trap their side of the field to the teeth with everything Naruto could. He had a new seal combination to try out that he couldn't in his latest matches. The mere thought of showing it off in front of everyone had Naruto's blood running through his veins and heart beating at an accelerated pace.

He tried to keep his calm and dilly away the time on their side of the field, but he couldn't stop the feeling. The feeling became a little overwhelming, and Naruto felt sweat dripping down his brow. He frowned in consternation. He didn't realize how hard waiting would be because the Sarutobi managed to continue halting the Hyuga's endless assault of hand strikes.

He tried to get more aware of his surroundings and actually think, but he started getting dizzy. He felt different. He felt unusual. He felt wrong. He felt off.

Coming to a realization he brought his hands together and expelled chakra through his chakra points and yelling, "Kai!"

His surroundings changed slightly, and his senses returned to normal. He brought his hands up to perform a Substitution technique, but a Kunai blade flirted with his Adam's apple.

"The reports were right," a female voice from behind him said. "You are atrocious at genjutsu."

Naruto frowned. He had been caught and defeated by the enemy simply doing a little research and exploiting his weakness, which was odd considering his spot on the totem pole. Then again, exploiting the weakest link the chain wasn't a revolutionary tactic either. Regardless, the fact infuriated Naruto that all of his work could mean nothing. He couldn't make hand signs for a Substitution, and he couldn't perform a Substitution without hand signs like the more advanced ninja.

"If you think a Kunai to the throat is enough to stop me, then you didn't finish your reports," Naruto growled through his elongating canines.

"That's what the poison is for," she whispered as she titled the Kunai up below his chin and forcing him to lift his chin up to avoid being punctured.

He tapped his finger against the nearest piece of fabric and let his chakra flow across the hidden pathways of seals. In case of emergency, he linked all of the seals on his jacket and pants with a script of kanji. This would trigger all of the seals that littered his jacket and pants. Nonetheless, he still had plenty of smoke and container seals littered throughout his outerwear.

"I only let my girlfriend talk to me like that," he said while fully tilting his head up and sinking to the ground by collapsing his knees after activating the myriad of seals. Smoke, Kunai and shuriken of all types shot out from his person like a mythical porcupine. The Hatake immediately disengaged, while Naruto tried to touch her to apply his gravity seal.

He failed in the touch, but he didn't let up and followed her in his own ball of smoke. Her genjutsu forced him to just release all of the tricks in his arsenal on to the grassy field, and he planned on making it count for as much as he could. The smoke would make him stick out like a sore thumb, but if he kept her in it, then he could impair her senses.

Naruto rained blows down on her, but she continued to backpedal and evade the strikes with only minimal blocks and parries. He couldn't win a match like this. As the smoke in his seals ran out, he felt more sluggish. In the opening, she jumped with the aid of chakra backwards to create a ten-meter gap.

With harsh breathing unnatural for him so early into a fight, he brought his hands up into the proper seal and dispersed his chakra through his system. Feeling slightly better, he took a better look at his opponent who had shuriken and Kunai slash marks scattered across her body with little trickles of blood escaping from some of the wounds.

He grinned, "Despite your genjutsus, I got first blood."

"Oh really now," she replied unfazed and tapping underneath her chin once, "I wouldn't be too sure about that."

Naruto frowned and felt underneath his chin to feel a droplet of blood hit his fingertip, "I stand corrected."

"You can already feel the poison running through your veins. Can't you?" she asked with a light smirk.

His breath stuttered in realization. He felt abnormally tired and weak of breath due to the poison and not a genjutsu. He brought his palm up to the bottom of his chin and focused his chakra to the wound. While an individual's body's chakra could act as a healing mechanism, Naruto's body's chakra did so to significantly higher degree similar to actual Uzumaki. He of course disregarded the implications about his parentage.

He tried to remember what he could about poisoning in one of his survival classes. He could only remember warnings against sucking the venom out, seeking immediate treatment and bringing a sample of the poison, living or otherwise. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't have any of those options in the heat of battle. In fact, his accelerated heart rate from the taijutsu exchange spread the poison through his veins.

While a medical ninja could separate the poison and bad blood from the rest of the body, Naruto could not. Giving up on that idea, he released his chakra into the inside of his body unable to differentiate between veins and organs. Chakra had naturally healing effects and his especially, so he felt like he should make the most of his absurd reserves. Flooding his body, the chakra acted like a weak antibody to help identify and neutralize the poison.

Not allowing her opponent the time to either recover or worsen, she began her own assault marked by the traditional salvo of shuriken. With his sluggish response and internal chakra system in shambles, she passed by his weak defenses and started an uninterrupted chain of blows against his body. Fortunately, she didn't seem to have another poison Kunai as she left it during her flight and currently lay in a pile of his own weapons.

Pushing back, he took all of the excess chakra in his body and exploded it out of his chakra points creating a fine cloud of visible blue chakra. She backed away in caution before showing slight sign of visible shock of Naruto's latest stunt. Naruto stood on the other side heaving his chest at the vast feeling of emptiness and wellness from the neutralized poison.

He had never expended such massive quantities of chakra at once. He felt in his navel a strong powerful flame usually silent in the ocean of his chakra, but now it became apparent to Naruto. Assuming it to be his core chakra point as it was in his stomach, he pulled on the power to renew his reserves and strength with fresh chakra. The euphoric feeling he received sent him lumbering back with dilated pupils.

Looking around with a crazed look in his eyes, he stared down at his clawed hands. He didn't remember activating those. His mouth felt full with teeth, which was odd because his mouth was always full with teeth. Bringing them up to his face carefully, he pricked his finger against a protruding fang laying against the bottom of his lip. He stared down at the crimson droplet oozing from his pricked finger in a perfect vividness of the image surprised Naruto. He had never seen reds so red or his own skin or blood in such clear detail. He could see his skin healing underneath the wound. He had never healed that quickly.

He looked up and around the battlefield and stands again seeing everything differently. The grass swaying from the concussive blows of the Hyuga and the Sarutobi. The grass swaying away from the air displacements caused by the elemental releases of the Uchiha and Senju battling. Oddly enough, he couldn't hear any of the chaos surrounding him including the girl across from him making some comment.

He sent some chakra to his ears in an attempt to reawaken his ears or something. The moment his chakra hit his eardrums surrounding sounds flooded his ears in a cacophony of noise. He couldn't handle all the noise. He couldn't. Grabbing the sides of his head in pain, his claws left bloody scratches in his scalp, but the pain in his head numbed the pain he caused inside his head. He couldn't help the scream that ripped out of his throat from the sheer unending agony of it all.


	30. The Finale

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER NINE: THE GAMES

THE FINALE

* * *

AN: Please remember the rules of the Games. Victory is when both scrolls are on the same side of the field without any opponents present.

* * *

He curled into himself crouching against the grass chanting out loud to focus instead of something useless like stop. He focused on the sound of his own breathing that he tried to regulate. After a few breaths, it worked. He just had to focus his ears on a specific noise.

Standing tall, he vividly saw the girl's movements towards their scroll. He brought his fingers into the proper hand seals for a Substitution technique, but his chakra felt wrong. Abandoning the idea as futile, he dashed towards her, but his movements also fell wrong. Going with what felt right and natural, he started rushing forward like an Inuzuka on all fours.

The speed and rush of air passing him made him feel beyond powerful. Within no time, he intercepted her and swiped his claws at her torso instead of performing a proper taijutsu move like a punch or a kick. She immediately stopped her course and tried to jump backwards, but her momentum acted against her wishes. His claws scratched through her long-sleeved blue shirt and into the armored vest and mesh underneath it.

Despite the small trickle of blood coming from on his clawed fingers actually puncturing the vest, she threw a salvo of shuriken. At the sight of the incoming projectiles, Naruto did what felt natural compared to his years of training. Focusing his strange new chakra into his vocal cords, he roared, and the resulting air shockwaves pushed the projectiles out of the way.

His opponent had to dodge one of her shuriken. The energy from the roar, however, took the unfamiliar chakra out of his system. He regained his senses, but the vivid colors and sounds went away. His claws and he assumed his fangs remained. Naruto straightened his back and popped a few joints that felt strange after acting like a feral animal.

Glad to being back to normal, Naruto performed a Substitution to his pile of tricks. While the girl started to rapidly bandage her wounds in a mutual standstill, he quickly sealed everything back into their proper place. In the meantime, his normal chakra filled back up, and he felt like he did at the beginning of the match more or less.

Ready to engage, he noticed the girl veered away and back towards her side of the field. He followed her path to a victorious Hyuga dashing for the enemy's scroll and a motionless Sarutobi on the ground with his staff a few meters from his body.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders at the inevitable conclusion. The Sarutobi put up a good fight, but he couldn't hope to actually defeat the heiress of the Hyuga clan. While in the beginning of the match, he probably would have chased after the fleeing girl leaving their scroll completely open. Instead, he remained in his defending position like Sakura. If he couldn't trust the heiress of the Hyuga clan to pull through for the team, then he didn't know whom he could trust. In fact, all of this nonsense about the Games drilling a sense of camaraderie and teamwork with fellow ninja of the Leaf would be all for naught.

Without even acknowledging her defeated boyfriend, she dashed to intercept the Hyuga who had released the seal from the container. Deciding to be like Sakura some more, Naruto ran to the center of the field ignoring the dueling Uchiha and Senju and threw his weighted Kunai at the location that the Hyuga tossed the scroll. Surprisingly enough, the Hyuga actually helped Naruto out by diverting the Hatake's attention away from the Kunai and scroll.

Substituting himself with the kunai, he appeared in a flash and in a flash disappeared with the scroll under his arm. The Hatake realized the duplicity but couldn't pass through the Hyuga's relentless Gentle Fist. He landed on the halfway mark and barely avoided a slash from the Senju's disturbingly sharp wooden blade.

Naruto avoided and dodged the series of slashes, but he couldn't make enough distance to perform another Substitution. Apparently, the Uchiha failed just like Madara did against Hashirama. Naruto didn't find it surprising; he just wished the Uchiha picked a different match to lose.

Naruto dodged the blade again, but he couldn't dodge the second blade that the Senju just made from his hand. The blade, however, never reached Naruto's shoulder as the Uchiha appeared with two Kunai in hand.

"You're fight is with me!" Naruto's newest hero shouted in glee. "I've achieved the Sharingan, and you shall not defeat me again!"

Naruto decided to completely ignore the Uchiha's maniacal glee and perform a Substitution with one of the many weighted Kunai littered around their contained scroll. The Senju, for some inane reason, ignored the Uchiha and performed one of his clan's crazy Wood Release techniques to trap Naruto in a thorny wooden cage with an equally crazy name Naruto didn't even bother to remember.

A weird look flashed across Naruto's face at the futility of the matter. He could just as easily perform a Substitution inside a cage as he could outside a cage. Making the hand signs, the thorns of the cage grew and punctured the skin of Naruto's hands forcing him to drop the scroll.

"What the fuck?" Naruto asked.

The Uchiha outraged at the perceived slight against him and his clan for ignoring him in favor of the trash off of the street ignored Naruto's situation and foul comment to engage once more in combat with the Senju. Furthermore, Naruto's solution of getting mad and getting angry during events like these didn't help. In fact, the wood of the cage seemed to sap the anger and hatred out of him. He felt calm and peaceful instead.

"The fuck is this bullshit," Naruto said in distaste. He didn't want to be calm and peaceful. He wanted to be angry and mad, so he could channel those feelings into positive actions like ripping himself out of this damn cage.

He didn't have time for all of the bullshit in this match. Despite being the final match that he originally felt honored to be in, Naruto distinctly wanted out of this match. Too much weird shit was happening in and around him for one day, and he just wanted out. He wanted out. He wanted out now. He wanted out right now.

He grabbed the wooden bars of his cage and strained the bars outwards. He didn't work out two times a day for the past few years to not pull himself out of a stupid little cage with some chakra hungry thorns.

An odd synchronization of feelings occurred between him and his deeper self, as a psychologist might say. The feeling of claustrophobia was striking his mental health, and Naruto started to feel increasingly panicked. He didn't care about the Games. He wanted out of this cage. He didn't belong in a cage. He wanted to be free. He wanted out.

His actions only proved a test in futility as the thorns attacked his biceps when he started to power chakra through his muscles. Giving up on sheer strength, he pulled out a Kunai, but the wood ended up just dulling his Kunai. Backing into the middle of the cage, Naruto thought about blowing the piece of shit up with an exploding tag but decided that he liked his skin on his body. He could place a gravity seal but that would drag the cage on to himself. A container seal had potential, but it would still collapse the cage on to himself.

He looked up and then down at the grassy field underneath his ninja sandals. He learned the chakra-powered digging in a mockery of the high school required Earth Release: Hiding like a Mole technique in elementary school as one of the techniques they taught children due to its childlike nature.

What child didn't like digging in the ground and making sand castles? Naruto absolutely loved it and did it all the time during his lonely childhood. The somewhat peaceful reminder gave him the brief clarity of mind to create an escape plan.

He placed relatively weak gravity seals on the wood and the thorns to weaken the response time, hopefully. He activated the seals with a little bit of chakra despite his fears that the wood would absorb the chakra instead. He really didn't expect the wood to go suicidal on him and start stabbing itself. Unfortunately, it didn't chop itself up into kindling for Naruto to just walk away.

Praying that the masochist nature of the wood would deter itself long enough, Naruto cracked his neck twice and properly maneuvered his body into prime digging position. He just hoped the wood wouldn't follow him underground as well.

In a rush of motion and chakra, Naruto dug like a mole with the scroll tucked into his pants. Naruto popped out of the other side a few meters. A familiar wooden sword descended right by his emerged position. Too pissed off to think straight, Naruto captured the next swing with his two flat hands like a sandwich and pushed the sword away from his body. In the same motion, he reared his head back and cracked it hard against the Senju's forehead.

He didn't belong to a clan. He didn't have to fight with any sense of misplaced honor. With a ringing in his head, he punched the reeling Senju straight in the nose breaking it and without a doubt leaving two black eyes. When the Uchiha finally returned with his glowing red eyes, Naruto decided he had enough of this match's bullshit and substituted with the closest weighted Kunai to their scroll's container.

He placed his hand on their container, while digging through the backside of his pants to fetch the enemies' scroll ironically labeled Earth. Not in the mood for catching humor, he started to pull up their Heaven scroll before a steel half blade crashed into the container with Naruto pulling out at the last second but having to throw away their scroll in a knee jerk reaction.

"How the fuck did you even get back other here!" he yelled at the Hatake girl who kept swinging with her tanto blade. Jumping back, he unsealed a handful of smoke bombs and threw them at the ground after activating them. With a quick look back, he saw the Sarutobi reengaging the Hyuga.

He grabbed their team's scroll on the smoky grass and ran out of the smoke with both scrolls in the air to finally finish the match. As he exited the smoke, the Hatake appeared with her tanto in both hands and stabbed him in the abdomen with superb precision to avoid piercing any organs or the spine. He stared her straight in the eyes and disappeared in an illusion. At the same time, a trio of Kunai with exploding tags ripped through the clone's dispersion and exploded.

On the other side of the smoke, Naruto appeared with both scrolls in hand shouting out to the head proctor. The Hataka girl in the meantime flew through the air and back on to her side of the field. The Uchiha and Senju continued their duel on the opponent's side of the field, and the Hyuga heiress defeated the Sarutobi boy again.

The Officer of the Games shrieked his whistle bringing the match to a close and announcing a victory for Team Heaven. Naruto didn't care that he didn't heroically defeat one of the enemy contenders representing the pinnacles of their clan's techniques and teachings. Naruto couldn't care less. Their team won. He won.

He ignored the furious and cold eyes from the Uchiha and Hyuga, respectively. The enemy team stared at him in flat out anger especially the Hatake girl who he winked at to piss her off even more. He found Sakura in the crowd and pointed both scrolls at her before turning to his girlfriend and blowing kisses. He found Mizuki, the Headmistress and JiJi in turn giving respectful bows in that order. Lastly, he just started waving at everyone in cheering crowd except for some sections reserved for the clans.

Unable to retain his happiness, he ran a lap around their side of the field waving and grinning like an idiot with special attention on the Sarutobi, Hyuga, Uchiha, Senju and Hatake sections of the Leaf Stadium. Seeing a cameraman entering the field, he rushed to his two teammates that stood in mutual silence accepting their victory in grace and humility.

Naruto, instead, grabbed them in a dual headlock and faced the cameraman with the biggest and widest grin of his life. His eyes became no more than slits from the width of his smile showing practically all of his teeth while he held out both hands in a 'V' sign for victory. He could feel the internal rage of the Uchiha and the cold derision of the Hyuga radiating from their bodies, but it made him just act like a bigger fool.

After letting up and having a few more serious pictures with his teammates, he felt an absurd feeling to start streaking across the field. He looked over to the Hatake girl who glared daggers at him while ignoring the comments from her Sarutobi boyfriend. Releasing some chakra out of his system to get rid of the feeling, he stuck his tongue out at her in petulance further enraging her and causing the Senju to roll his eyes. Turning around, he saw a reporter asking a question into a microphone with a different cameraman behind him.

'Dear Gods,' Naruto thought, 'I'm going to be on the television.'

Completely ignoring the dude's question to his whole team, he grabbed the microphone placed in front of them and said, "I'd first like to thank JiJi for always believing in me. You know who you are ya old monkey. Thanks to Mizuki for kicking my ass in the right direction. Thanks to the Headmistress for always pointing me in the right direction when I get lost on this crazy road. Thanks to the Sealing Arts for being the most awesome art of them all along with the Sealing Arts Division and club. Special thanks to Sakura Haruno for inspiring me to victory and once again totally sorry. I'd also like to thank my teammates of course for, ya know, being there and stuff. Oh and shoutout to the hottest girlfriend a boy could have in all of the Elemental Nations."

Taking the mic from the blonde, the reporter said, "Thank you, Uzumaki-San, for that inspirational quote. Now, as we all saw, Uchiha-San, you activated your Sharingan during these Games. Could you please talk about your feelings on the matter."

The question thoroughly bored Naruto and took the wind out of his sails with a clear look of disinterest crossing his face. The equally bland and rehearsed answer from the Uchiha did not make Naruto's mood any better. No wonder these clan folk could hold these jaded expressions all the time with questions as stupid as these. Also, why did the reporter hold out the microphone, and the Uchiha didn't take it?

"And Hyuga-hime," the reporter asked. "Could you tell us about your successful duel against Sarutobi-San?"

Her equally rehearsed answer really sealed his mood. The questions and answers made him glad that he had his few minutes in the line light earlier. When did people start calling her a princess of all things?

"And last but not least, the underdog himself, Uzumaki-San. We all thought you were a goner with Hatake-san's genjutsu and poison Kunai, yet here you are victorious. Please do tell."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly at the guy's hidden compliments and insults before answering, "I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the greatest in any of the arts especially the field of genjutsu, but with my individual studies into the Sealing Arts and daily hard work. I am able to overcome these faults. My seals allowed me to overcome a Kunai to the neck and successfully capture the enemies' scroll."

"Ah yes, your famous False Thunder God technique and sealed jacket," the reporter answered in good faith, "but what I feel like everyone here is wondering about is your stunning display of ferocity with Hatake-San."

Naruto blinked at the reporter's question a few times. He had absolutely no fucking clue. He, however, didn't have the pleasure of telling the truth without looking like a total dumbass on the television. Instead, he pulled a magnificent lie out of his ass.

"I'm afraid that the poison that Hatake-San used had unintended side effects that I don't believe she foresaw. As I'm sure everyone saw, the poison wrecked havoc on my mental state along with extreme pain. I believe the pain specifically targeted my brain to render me into a feral state that would allow Hatake-San the ability to neutralize me while my brain was out of sorts.

"Unfortunately for her, I proved more than up for the challenge. I would like to say that I would like to have a fight on fair terms. As ninja we don't have that privilege, but I'm proud to have had the honor to compete against her. That being said. I came into the Games with a lot to prove to myself and to others, and I am glad to have had the pleasure and the honor to do so. Oh and one last thing, I would like to apologize to Sakura Haruno again."

"Beautiful words and truly inspiring words from Uzumaki-San," the reporter said before turning around and talking into the camera itself about replays of the match.

Naruto looked over to his girlfriend and winked before going through all of the other motions of finishing the last match of the Games for his grade. It would be a pain especially considering what he had to look forward to tonight, but he would find a way to push through the pain somehow.


	31. Hell Week

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TEN: THE FRATERNITY

HELL WEEK

* * *

AGE 15

GRADE 9 (FRESHMAN HIGH SCHOOL)

* * *

AN: Merry Christmas (Eve) and Happy Holidays.

* * *

Naruto stood looking forward in perfect military posture. An egg flew across some part of the large wooden room and hit one of his pectorals and exploded in a mixture of yolk and eggshells to drop down his uncovered torso. Soon after, an intimidating high school senior approached and opened his pink frilly thong to dump his cup of ice only to snap the tight piece of cloth back.

Another senior took a plastic squeeze bottle of mayonnaise and sprayed it over his face after demanding that Naruto stick his tongue out. Naruto ignored the abject humiliation thinking that maybe he suffered worse earlier in life and remained standing in perfect military form.

"So this faggot-ass cocksucker wants to be the Captain of his pledge class, huh?" one of the two pledge class trainers. At dusk, Naruto and fellow like-minded boys graduating from middle school and ready to start high school signed up to join the fraternity organization known as Root. Root accepted any interested Academy students seeking to become gentlemen of an esteemed organization held in the same regard as any noble or bloodline clan.

Root's typical members came from orphans in the foster care system, but it frequently accepted applicants from families for any multitude of reasons. They even accepted boys from clans who decided to breakaway from the clan for any reason although it mainly resulted from the boy being a bastard child or the black sheep of the family. While it meant that the boy usually performed at the bottom rung on his clan, the fraternity did not discriminate based on birth, talent or skill.

The Second Hokage Tobirama Senju founded Root as a secret sect of the Hokage's ANBU that would take part in the less savory aspects of running the top Hidden Village in the Elemental Nations. A key aspect of the organization revolved around the complete deniability of Leaf in terms of Root's actions. Thus, members of Root epitomized the meaning of ninja being tools of the Hokage and required members to be stripped of all sense of identity to willingly sacrifice themselves for the village without cause.

While this feature did not differentiate itself from what all Hokage expected from their ninja, ninja did so with their names being remembered on the Memorial Stones, and deeds remembered through the ages. A member of Root could only hope for a simple ceremony of incense burning by fellow members at his or her passing.

Over the years, Root, however, grew out of the Hokage's reach and acted as a third-party to the Hokage with its own unknown commander similar to the ANBU commander. The Hokage reasoned that even he shouldn't know certain facets of operations of Root to not be burdened with the guilt despite flying in the face of a Shinobi meaning someone who endured.

Root as the years passed and their metaphorical roots expanded started acting more and more hardline against the Hokage's Office. Root commanders viewed war and conflict as a natural and righteous conclusion that should be sought. In fact, Root believed war and strife bred the Hidden Villages; thus, war would continue to be the bread and water of the Hidden Villages to survive.

Eventually, a pacifist Hokage after a costly war initiated by a Root commander decided to pull up the weeds by the roots. The process took much out of Leaf with wounds that took three generations to heal from the initial bloodshed of Leaf turning against brother and sister. Once the leaves settled, information about Root's activities became public in an unprecedented breach of intelligence by a high-ranking member in the Root organization who thought to use the information to start another righteous war.

Reports of human experimentation, stripping young boys and girls of their humanity and assassinations even in the Land of Fire and directly related to the Daimyo's family could be read on every newspaper. All of the Hidden Villages and the Daimyos of every Elemental Nation decried Root's activities as barbaric, bloodthirsty and utterly reprehensible. The Hokage publicly and loudly agreed and issued for the first time apologies to every Daimyo and Kage in one of the rare Five Kage Councils.

The Hokage spent the rest of his term running damage control with the next Hokage cleaning up the mess. The weeds had been pulled but had revealed a rotten core that perverted Tobirama's vision of Root. Over time and after the third new generation, a Hokage took office in a conservative reversal of Leaf's apologist policies. In fact, he reconstituted Root as an organization that it became today with abundant transparency.

A fraternity and sorority built to arm boys and girls that granted them the ability to truly practice Hashirama's Will of Fire who couldn't do so originally. Over time, Root overcame its terrible legacy to becoming a respected and public institution that turned boys into men of the Leaf and girls into women of the Leaf.

Nonetheless, the lessons of the past had not been forgotten, and Root invited constant supervision from the civilian and ninja councils of Leaf. This had the added benefit of giving Root a good name in the civilian and ninja circles allowing for increased budgets and lessened restrictions. Furthermore, Root became a proud heritage for Shinobi and Kunoichi that went through the ranks allowing for even more funding via alumni.

As a result, Root boasted a high success rate in turning below average and average Academy students into high quality members of Leaf's forces. While Root couldn't boast of producing ninja as on par to clans as individuals, a Root three-man team could fight just as well as any team of average clansmen.

Furthermore, Root opened doors and networking connections for members far more than any single regular clan due to the sheer quantity of Root. Thus, Root epitomized the idiom of strength in numbers. Also, Root produced many high caliber ninja with one even rising to the rank of Hokage.

To create these results, Root had to be willing to make harsh calls and judgments. To this end, the tradition of hell week emerged to weed out the weak and those unwilling to properly embrace the sacrifices required to achieve true teamwork. Root could not allow weakness of spirit to drag them down, and it couldn't allow members to think of themselves as anything other than equals.

True teamwork came from understanding, and understanding could not be achieved from individuals standing in different perceived tiers. To accomplish this, Root lowered all applicants to the same level during Hell Week and booted out those who could not make the sacrifice.

In conclusion, the organization represented a perfect opportunity for Naruto who had never had a clan or even a family. He, however, refused to be a follower or a face in the crowd. Fortunately, Root evolved from its distasteful workings to utterly remove members of all emotions and allowed for a hierarchy similar to ninja teams and the village itself.

Hence, Naruto stood in military pose with raw egg dripping down his chest, ice in his tight pink thong and mayonnaise splattered across his face like a two-bit whore. He wanted. He needed to be his grade's pledge class president, and he wanted the opportunity to prove that he could be worthy of the honor.

After he graduated middle school, he heard about the organization during the ceremony when a highly respected ninja spoke about the merits and requirements of Root. Naruto recognized the crippled and slightly mummified man as the same individual who defended Naruto after his harsh remarks about Sakura that he still regretted although she did confront him to stop apologizing especially at large public events.

The man according to his introducer had the privilege of fighting in a team side-by-side with JiJi. Also, the Daimyo and Jonin debated the merits of having him as the next Hokage instead of JiJi in their youth and after Namizake's mutual defeat of the Nine Tailed Demon Fox.

Naruto dreamed of raising his station in life. Root would give him the ability to make that possible. After the ceremony, he approached the Root recruiting officer and submitted an application and did the proper paper work. During the summer, the rush captains gathered him and other like-minded individuals to planned activities like fishing in the lake on some of their giant boats to show off Root's resources.

They even had some lunches and dinners with influential alumni during meet-and-greets to show off their political clout and help with recruitment. After accepting his bid, Naruto and others had the privilege of getting an invitation to Root's famous bid ceremony.

Root's previous freshman class would host a giant party for the incoming freshman filled with endless booze to get shitfaced while watching the hired pole dancers, strippers, mudpit fighters do their work. After getting all the horny teenage boys shitfaced and blue balled, they would bring in the dirty girls and their toys.

The real show started when the naked girls would start playing with each other with a very clear rule about no touching. The girls performed very erotic and very lesbian acts leaving the boys in a vulnerable state of mind. When the show stopped, the girls would offer the boys an opportunity to a private room at a love hotel. In exchange, the lucky and select few boys had to prove themselves worthy.

Of course, the suggestion had every blue balled and shitfaced teenager high on dreams of swimming in sex once in Root and in high school where all the girls dropped their panties clambering over themselves to prove themselves. The girls then took advantage of the boys by asking them to do a wide assortment of extremely embarrassing activities usually of a homoerotic nature.

Naruto, reeling from his latest girlfriend breaking up with him that February, threw himself into the task. He fortunately had the pleasure of avoiding licking whip cream from semi-naked boys and showing how far he could shove a banana down his throat by standing up and yelling out loud that he wanted the dominatrix chick of the girls to drown his face with her pussy.

He thoroughly enjoyed that stay at the love hotel. He had never had sex with toys beforehand, but he could scratch that off of his bucket list. When she walked into the room with him tied to every corner of the gaudy bed dragging in a black heavy chest trunk, he knew that night would be special. She discovered this magical button inside of him called the prostate with her finger just as she brought him to climax with her vibrating wand and releasing the ring preventing his climax in the first place.

"Well!" the pledge trainer yelled. "None of you worthless pussies have the balls to stand up and contest this whiskered piece of shit's bid to be your pledge class captain?"

Bringing Naruto out of his flashback that probably triggered from the same chick making him wear a similar thong, he looked around at his peers. No one stood up as according to the mutual agreement when everyone met up before arriving at the Root complex together. The agreement worked solely on the basis that no one wanted to put with the extra bullshit and had Naruto's martyr syndrome.

"And what's your name, pledge class captain?" the quiet pledge class trainer asked.

"Naruto Uzumaki, sir!" Naruto shouted while maintaining his pose.

"Sir!" all of the seniors allowed on the first day of hell week clamored in outrage.

The loud pledge class trainer invaded Naruto's mayonnaise covered face and yelled, "Sir? Do I look like a fucking sir? I'm four years older than you, you worthless piece of shit. In Root, you're an equal, a subordinate or a superior. To make this easy for your dumbass, that means you are my Kohai, and I am your Senpai. Do I need to repeat myself, Kohai?"

"No, Senpai," Naruto shouted.

"There might be hope for you yet," the loud pledge trainer said.

"I wouldn't count on it," the quiet pledge trainer responded.

"What about vice-captain, huh? If this blonde bimbo the only one with the balls enough to be your captain, then whose willing to at least carry the little things. Which means by the way you pussies have shriveled little raisins compared to his pathetic grapes because that's where we are right now!" the loud pledge class trainer continued.

The tricky part began because the pledges didn't know how many vice-captains the pledge class captain needed due to the close-mouthed nature of Root. Three boys of various backgrounds stood up in genuine interest for the position that had equally different levels of charisma. The rich boy who had a new money father and mother had the best merits but no charisma, and the other boys progressed in different abilities from there.

He also happened to be the host that Naruto first had his first private party invitation. The pledge trainer demanded all three to stand up and explain why they'd be best. Naruto didn't pay any attention but focused his chakra to help with the burning in his crotch from the ice.

When they all arrived at dusk for the first night, the pledge trainers and other seniors hurried them into a dark hallway where they forced everyone to strip and throw their clothes in a large heap. Afterwards, one of the pledge trainers brought in a cardboard box and told everyone to get dressed. The naked middle school graduates dug through the box filled with what they discovered to be things. Naturally, only a few boys got the right size from sheer luck unlike Naruto's tight pair.

The Akimichi bastard couldn't find a proper pair, but after the pledge trainers told them to run to the cafeteria, they pulled him aside along with some scrawny nerd in a pair too large to go back and switch. Naruto took it as a good sign. After the three gave their speeches to be vice-president, the quiet pledge trainer told the one boy who could barely complete a sentence to just sit back down.

"We don't need two vice captains for a pledge class of what? Seventy-two? We've got like twenty other positions to fill for you cocksuckers. Anyway as vice-captain, how would you help your captain when he needs your help?" the larger and louder pledge trainer asked.

In a surprise to Naruto, the host didn't start giving a speech like his competitor but walked from his spot near to Naruto. While everyone else sat on the empty cafeteria floor forming a chain with their arms, Naruto had to remain standing as a show his worth to his peers and superiors.

The rich host without hesitation tug the bottom of Naruto's thong to let the cold water and ice fall out. Naruto could have kissed him. The seniors started laughing before both pledge trainers started clapping.

The loud one yelled shaking the rich boy by the shoulders, "That's what I'm talking about. You're fucking it, kohai. Have your pledge brothers' backs at all times. Rule number one. Have your pledge brothers' backs. If one of you fuckers can't remember rule number, then get the fuck out. We don't have time for your stupid ass."

"One of you fuckers finally did something right, congratulations, but this night is far from fucking over," the quiet pledge trainer said.

The night continued with various positions needing to be filled for their pledge class. Some kids had some serious work to do to make it through hell week in Naruto's opinion. A third of the boys sounded like they would die from mortification taking off their clothes like they don't do it in a lighted locker room every day of school. Hopefully, they would understand that everyone had to go through the same exact thing.


	32. Pledge Class Captain

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TEN: THE FRATERNITY

PLEDGE CLASS CAPTAIN

* * *

AN: Happy New Year!

* * *

Naruto stood tall throughout the whole ordeal. In the middle of boys getting assigned positions, the current office holders of the senior class entered the cafeteria in a dramatic fashion with insane music. After introducing themselves, the pledge trainers went around asking random guys to repeat their names and positions.

Naruto rattled off the names with no issue thanking the gods for his ability to remember everyone's names for some reason. Fortunately, everyone managed to get the student Root commander's name right who reported directly to the elder executives actually in charge of Root's connections.

A few kids missed some of the more vague positions to receive different condiments to the face. When the pledge trainer started twisting one of the boy's nipples until he said the name, Naruto shouted out the name. When asked about why he did it from the commander himself, Naruto simply recited rule number one. Naruto would have smiled at the good reaction he received if they wouldn't have immediately sprayed his face with more mayonnaise or something. He still couldn't get the taste of it out of his mouth.

Towards the end, the officers left and a few more seniors entered the room clearly drunk. The seniors started messing with the pledges with Naruto getting the brunt of it as everyone stood up still chain linked with their arms. The pledge trainers turned the lights off and started playing some insane head banging music really loudly.

With the lights off, the seniors started having a giant mosh pit in the middle running against the human chain of pledges trying to break it. The chain broke a few times, but Naruto expected it considering that some of the kids used their brains far more than their muscles. The seniors apparently planned for it as well because even in their drunk state they didn't make a big deal of the matter.

After a few minutes, Naruto started to get in the mood and started joining into the festivities by getting excited and getting the rest of pledges excited. This could be fun if one made it fun at the right times. Plus, Naruto got the distinct impression that it would impress the seniors more if the incoming class could assimilate into the fraternity without sticking out like sore thumbs. A major part of Root revolved around fitting into place with the rest of the organization's brothers.

After a while, the pledge trainers cancelled the music. The seniors then started one of the many Root chants that they frequently sang during the Games and other events. Chanting it once more, Naruto joined in with a few of the other smarter members leading it on part of the pledges with the seniors still shouting the chant on repeat.

Naruto couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face. He had never felt more alive in the sense of having some sort of connection with these seniors and fellow pledges. He could already feel the bond forming with Root, and he couldn't help the happiness flowing through him.

He could take whatever the seniors dealt because he would not be giving up this feeling no matter how much Kiba and some of his clan friends tried to convince him not to be one of those Root douchebags. The common argument Kiba gave revolved around his belief that Naruto didn't need Root.

Yes, Naruto didn't need Root to become a great Shinobi, but he wanted to finally be a member of something other than just the vague ninja corps. Kiba just didn't understand as a member of a clan - a son of the direct family of his no less. How could he possibly understand? Plus, the friendships and connections he would gain while in Root and from Root afterwards would skyrocket his abilities as a Shinobi and his career too.

The chanting stopped after a few more rounds. The quiet pledge trainer pulled out a pocket flashlight and started shining it at each pledge's face. He pulled out all of the pledge office holders including Naruto as the rest of the seniors with the loud pledge trainer went crazy again with the music and threw himself against the pledge chain wall.

The office holders went into what Naruto remembered as the chapter room that had no lights on except for a few floodlights facing the wall. The pledge trainer went into the darkness and told them to line up against the wall. From the darkness, he told them to get on their knees and keep their mouths open.

Following the orders, small pieces of food started randomly flying from the darkness. The pledge officers tried to catch the food with their mouths, and the pledge trainer told them to eat it off the ground without her hands if they failed to catch it in the first place. After a while, they stopped

"On to the real business you bitches," the distinct voice of the Root commander said. "You have all volunteered and been chosen for positions of office in your pledge class. This by no means makes the positions permanent. If you fuck up too much or too many times, we'll take it away from you just as quickly as we gave it to you.

"The whole point of hell week is to break you fuckers with your own little special snowflake personalities and make them into something useful. You will each be tested to the breaking points of your abilities. If you see a fellow brother fall down or unable to continue, then bear the weight for him in his time of need. By no means are you to let anyone coast by this experience, or it becomes completely useless.

"If the captain falls, then the vice-captain takes his place until the captain gets back on his feet. If a social fails, then the other social steps up. If the treasurer can't, then get an assistant. Am I making myself perfectly clear?"

"Hai, Senpai," the pledges in the floodlight said like an off-key chorus.

The vice-commander's voice spoke up from the darkness, "In case any of you don't understand from basic common sense, when we tell you something, you then tell the rest of the pledge class. No one in the pledge class should know more than the next. Everyone must be replaceable. If we take all of out, then the rest of the pledge class better be able to function just as well. Root does not function based on the magic of one person and neither shall your pledge class. Am I making myself perfectly clear?

"Hai, Senpai," they responded again with a little more unison.

"You will die. You will die this week," one of the socials said. "That's the whole point of this week. Weakness will be purged, and strength will take its place. If you're a literary nut, then think you're a Phoenix or some bullshit. Root in the beginning was a fucked up place worse than the Era of the Bloody Mist. They had you bond with a fellow brother and then fight to the death as the final test. This isn't like that all. In fact, it's the exact opposite. It's a test to see how many brothers you can bring into the fraternity.

"As officers, it's expected of you to excel above the rest. This doesn't mean you show off your talents and flex your muscles. This means when you get out of the mud and the piss and the blood you go right back in and help your fellow brothers out."

The other social joined right after, "That doesn't mean everyone is going to make it through. Some missions some people don't make it back. You have to except that as leaders. Root isn't meant for everybody, and everybody wasn't meant for Root. We have no room for super star egos who get their nut off at the thought of being better than everyone else at the expense of everyone else.

"Same thing with freeloaders. Everyone has their weight to carry it just comes in different shapes and sizes. In the beginning, I thought every nerd and weakling was a fucking disgrace to the pledge class. I'm the first to admit that I wouldn't be where I am today without those same exact people I bitched and moaned about helping them in their time of need."

"Did they make themselves perfectly clear?" The pledge trainer asked.

"Hai, Senpai," they responded in unison.

"Good," the pledge trainer said. "Now everyone get back out to the cafeteria except for the captain."

As the rest of the officers scrambled out the door in their pink thongs, Naruto remained staring out into the darkness. He could feel a cold nervous sweat trickling down between his shoulder blades as he knelt in the middle of the wall in the floodlights. The mayonnaise still rested on his face with raw egg on his chest and his only form of clothing taking the form of a soaking tight pink thong.

"What's your name?" the Root commander asked.

Naruto opened his mouth to reply, but the Root commander interrupted, "I don't fucking care what you think your name is. You're name is my personal bitch. You're the pledge trainers' bitch, you're the seniors' bitch and you're Roots' bitch. All being captain of the pledge class means is that you are bitch number one. When someone needs shit done, they call on you. In other words, you are the personal bitch of everyone in this organization.

"I could have you turned into this fraternity's personal glory hole, and you would spread your ass and keep your mouth open as everyone fucked you airtight. I could make you wear a sign that said 'Five for oral and ten for anal' and drag you around like the bitch on a leash you are. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Hai, Senpai," Naruto responded without showing any emotion.

"I hope I did because no one in your pledge class is going to be tested more than you. Some people want to be leaders. Some people should be leaders but don't want to. Some people are born leaders, and some are made leaders," the Root commander continued. "We have no idea who in your pledge class is the best leader. Just because you're the leader by omission doesn't mean we won't replace you the moment you fuck up too much.

"You will fuck up. There is no doubt, but can you fuck up just enough to survive and keep your mantle of responsibility? I'm feeling generous to my personal bitch because he did such a good job reciting rule number one. Learn how to delegate orders.

"Everyone in this fraternity is going to throwing orders at you left and right you. Also, I'm going to be telling you stuff to tell your other pledge class members. You think when alumni or executives or Danzo-Sama himself gives orders that he gives the same orders to everyone. Hell, no. He gives the orders because he trusts me to get the job done because the whole fraternity believes I can get the job done.

"This is not a task taken lightly, and you will not take your task lightly. Trust me. Everyone has something more important than micromanaging you fuckers' lives. In fact, all of you worthless bitches should be worshipping the ground we tread for the time we spend with you. I hope I made myself perfectly clear."

"Hai Senpai," Naruto answered.

"Good," the commander said. "Now kneel there as we try to throw food into that giant fucking mouth of yours."

They started to all throw food at him as just knelt there and let it hit his face or go into his mouth.

"Anyone have any fruit? I want to see if he can get one of those giant oranges from that new colony into his mouth. No? Maybe another time," the commander asked as they continued without pause.

"Answer me this," he asked from the shadows. "How many dicks do you think you could fit into your mouth? The treasurer needs to know how much you'll make us for your services as a cum dumpster."

Naruto swallowed the unknown food in his mouth before replying with some hesitation at the disgusting thought, "One Senpai."

"Oh don't be so humble," he chastised. "Maybe one of my dicks, but what about the average dick size. Like what about your puny little prick.

"Two Senpai?" Naruto answered in more of a question.

"Are you asking me or you telling me bitch?" The commander responded.

"Two Senpai," Naruto answered firmly.

"Are you sure because you ain't packing shit, and we've got a lot of dicks that need to be sucked and a lot of money to be raised," the commander asked in a regular tone of voice as if asking about the weather.

"Three Senpai," Naruto answered hoping to get past this awkward line of questions.

"Three, what, bitch?"

"Three dicks, Senpai."

"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it all out loud for all of us to hear. My personal bitch needs to know its place around here."

"My huge mouth can suck three dicks at a time to raise money as Root's cum dumpster, Senpai," Naruto said. Originally, he felt outraged at the idea, but for some reason his thought pattern on the situation changed as the questions turned absurd. This was funniest thing Naruto had ever done. He just had to keep the laughter out of his voice.

"Good bitch," the commander answered. "Here's your reward."

Three bananas flew through the air and landed in the assortment of food in front of his knees. Naruto already had a bad feeling about this, but he had no doubt it would be hilarious.

"Well bitch?" the commander said. "Get to work sucking those dicks. Don't forget to use your hands. We aren't renting you out for cheap. We have standards to keep after all."

Naruto picked up the three bananas and tried to put them in his mouth. He could only get the tips of all three in his mouth. Trying to make up for his failure, he started pumping both his hands up and down them.

"What a stupid fucking whore," the commander reproached. "You peel the skin back first you dumbass bitch. See. This is why we have to do stuff like this before we send out our number one cum dumpster."

Naruto took them out of his mouth oddly feeling like an idiot for not thinking about that earlier. Although in his opinion, the tip of his skin felt the most sensitive during the few times a girl went down on him. Peeling all three bananas back, he went back to mashing all three into his mouth at once while rubbing them up and down.

"There we go," the commander said. "Now look straight up and ahead like a good bitch."

The crowd of seniors started making more remarks about Naruto's skill at it and asking about his experience. Naruto almost choked on them when the pledge trainer asked if his whisker marks acted like guidelines for dicks to his mouth. They stopped making as much comments but went with suggestive grunting sounds and banging underneath tables with their fists.

"Take them out of your mouth and keep it open with your tongue out," the commander said from a closer position. "Oh, and close your eyes."

Naruto fastened to comply as mayonnaise bottles ejaculated from a dozen bottles from different locations. While half went to his face, mouth, tongue and hair, some seniors aimed the mayonnaise at Naruto's thong or all over his torso. Naruto started to feel an intense disliking for mayonnaise. In fact, he had never been the biggest fan of it in the first place.

The pledge trainer got up and ushered him out back to the cafeteria where the rest of his pledge brothers chanted the previous song. The pledge trainer placed Naruto in the middle of the floor on his knees in front of the other pledge trainer.

"Holy shit, you were gone for what thirty minutes by yourself, and you sucked everyone's cock like a cum slut?" the large pledge trainer said towering over him. "Well, did you?"

"No Senpai," Naruto answered looking up.

"Really? So that's not cum sprayed all over you? I knew the moment I saw your bitch ass you would suck dick to get anywhere in life," the pledge trainer yelled. "You all voted for this cock sucker to lead your pledge class? What did you have a contest on who could suck the most dicks off and this faggot won?"

"Aw, their too shy about their gay orgy they had last night," the other pledge trainer said. "Maybe they'll relive it tonight. Everyone up and out to the backyard."

The pledges hustled out the door and ran to the grassy backyard of the giant Root complex where all of the 250 or so Root members lived. The pledges didn't have the privilege of living at the complex until sophomore year. Naruto would miss his apartment when the time came but living with a family would be worth it. He just knew it.

The pledge trainers pulled out two separate hoses and started spraying the pledges with water like plants. After a while, they told them to make two lines to remove the various eggs, flour, condiments and assortments of food from their body. The pledge trainer would then spray down the pledges one by one adding pressure to the hose for everyone's thong. At Naruto's turn, both pledge trainers hosed him down to get rid of the caked on egg and mayonnaise that covered him from his knees to his head. Naruto always did like being the center of attention.

The pledge trainers then instructed to sleep in the backyard under the stars. Tomorrow, they would be joining in the daily calisthenics that every Root member performed before breakfast to merge them with the actual members. The pledge trainers then discussed the need for every pledge to do what any member asks them with a focus on the seniors.

Also, they explicitly said that they would be asked to do stupid shit all the way through their three-month pledgeship, and the pledges should do the stupidest shit to be funny and to be funny about it. No one likes a stick in the mud that can't handle a little self-deprecation humor.


	33. Activation

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TEN: THE FRATERNITY

ACTIVATION

* * *

AN: I've learned many lessons while writing this fanfiction such as note writing while hungry, horny, or high on pain medicine from having my four impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed. This chapter would happen to be the latter.

During this delusional time, I have been receiving and reading the reviews. I am honored to have people take time out of their way to read something that I write as a hobby. I am even further honored to have people take time to review the story. I wish to say that I read all reviews and acknowledge them. I am by no means a professional or even a high quality hobbyist, but please rest assured that I do take them into serious consideration.

I will always seek to improve my writing style, plot, characters and other literary devices. Your reviews offer me the (much needed) insight into my own writing because no one is editing ("beta-ing") my work for me, so your reviews are the only source of criticism. I am writing this long-winded author's note to give thanks.

I would also like to mention that nothing I write in these stories comes from "expert" or "first hand" knowledge. I am Jon Snow. I know nothing. I know nothing about alcohol, drugs, sex, fraternity, military, ninja, Japanese culture, etc. I know nothing. In other words, I am literally making this up as I go.

In regards to the point of view, the writing style is third-person limited. Thus, the story is being told from the perspective of the main character in the chapter. This means that the chapter is not written from an objective point of view, but a subjective point of view from the main character.

For instance, this chapter is written from Naruto's point of view. Naruto, as I hope I have made obvious, is not always correct in his observations, assumptions and logical conclusions. In fact, he is frequently wrong. I hope that my writing makes it obvious enough when he makes these incorrect statements.

One example is his habit of grouping people in stereotypes (which is ironic as he seeks to break the one stereotype that people place on people without bloodlines and honorable parentage). For example, the vice captain is that rich guy, the Uchiha is that Uchiha, the Senju is the Senju. He doesn't expect these people to have personality characteristics separate from their stereotypes. Furthermore, he doesn't give people the opportunity to have personalities.

Thank you - sincerely,

Adoredra Fal'Naelra

* * *

Naruto bent down in his pledge class uniform of black long sleeve and black pants to grab his ankles as one of the last rituals that he and his pledge class needed to perform. The three months of pledgeship came to an end with the final inaugural ceremony initiated by the officers of the senior class in the chapter room. Naruto's big brother in the fraternity tapped his bottom with a large paddle a few times to get a proper swing before pulling back all the way and slamming into Naruto's fortunately covered bottom this time.

Baring his teeth, Naruto endured the swat for the final time after receiving more than enough fraternity paddlings in his lifetime. During the end of hell week, the pledge trainers decided to run an invitation only event with the sorority arm of Root along with some other boys and girls from high school.

To raise money for the parties that Root hosted over the year along with some money for Naruto's pledge class' mixers, all the pledges walked across the stage in their thongs for the cover-charge event. Afterwards, Root hosted an auction event where the pledge trainers would sell the pledges out to do various embarrassing actions like deepthroating a hotdog, dressing in drag or dancing on a pole.

Naruto had the privilege of doing all of the events thanks to the endless pockets of Ino, Kiba and Sakura. He tried to think on the good side of the humiliating events as raising money to get shitfaced at every party Root hosted. Then, Naruto discovered how many enemies he made from kids in his grade and the grades above. The pledge trainers had all of the pledges assume the position in a long line with all of the pledges grabbing their ankles.

In exchange for ten notes a swat, the consumer could paddle any pledge. Needless to say, all of the people that Naruto pissed off during elementary and middle school emerged from the woodwork to throw money at the pledge class trainers to swat Naruto's ass as much as their wallets allowed. Apparently winning as many of the Games as Naruto did including both championships, Naruto made a fair share of pissed off clan children. Pissed off clan children also had deep pockets and strong arms. Even Kiba gave him a swat claiming he couldn't pass up on the opportunity.

The Hatake girl had a particular vengeance to take out on Naruto's backside while the Senju and Uchiha gave a swat each in response to Naruto winning a championship with the Uchiha in the seventh grade and the Senju in the eighth grade. The Inuzuka bully a year older than Naruto showed up and gave a few swats. The worst paddles came from the Sarutobi kid that the Hatake girl dated for a few months before breaking up after the latest game that Naruto's team won. Naruto guessed all of the work with the staff gave the Sarutobi the best form for a paddle.

Naruto couldn't sit down for half a week. Fortunately, the rest of his pledge class offered themselves as tribute in place for Naruto's paddlings from the senior class of Root during the rest of hell week. He didn't bother holding his glare against those who wronged him when high school started.

Unfortunately, the glare didn't do Naruto much because everyone knew that the Root pledges had to wear their pink thongs all day everyday. Every pledge had two pink thongs provided to them, and they had to wear them even to school. Thus, Naruto and his fellow pledges couldn't hold much weight in the locker rooms, and people couldn't take him seriously at all on the field or in the weight room knowing what he wore underneath his high school uniform for academics or athletics.

During the past three months, Root had the pledge members perform a variety of random and embarrassing acts for mostly the seniors. Otherwise, the pledge class built the parties that Root hosted for both the fraternity and sorority arms. They allowed the pledges of both the fraternity and the sorority to join in the parties that they helped built. To help raise funds, Root would have a cover charge for non-Root members who wanted to join the famous and outrageous parties.

Every week the pledge trainers had the pledge class perform a bonding experience. The first week had the pledges marching to the other side of the city in the middle of night. Without any direction, they told them to take off their thongs that the pledge trainers burned using one of the high school required fire techniques. Thus, the pledges had to find their way back to Root naked with no light from a new moon. When they returned, the seniors started spraying ice cold water to then run through the sorority complex with their hands on their head and the sorority pledges outside to watch. Naruto thanked the gods that the infamous elephant march simply turned into a bad rumor that clansmen created to give Root a bad name.

During pledgeship, Naruto's game with the girls became non-existent in the sense of an actual relationship. Naruto discovered in the place of a girlfriend the one-night stand. The pledges had to live at their residences off of the Root complex, so Naruto could at least bring girls back to his place when they didn't need to sleep in the grass at Root. Something about the sorority and high school made girls abandon their non-penetration creed because Naruto had absolutely no trouble losing his virginity despite having two girlfriends in middle school.

While alcohol didn't become a solution, it sure as hell didn't hurt. Being the pledge class captain took a lot out of Naruto, and the moment that the pledge trainers allowed the pledges to drink during the party, Naruto started chugging alcohol like a man lost in the desert. He also did the same during all of the pledge class mixers with the sorority pledge class.

Unlike some of his peers, Naruto could actually hold his alcohol. According to everyone, he became a crazy party animal when under the influence with a penchant for throwing himself at the girls. Somehow, it worked because Naruto would find a new girl in his bed and a few used condoms scattered across the room. At least, he had enough sense to do that.

After the first month, every pledge received a bigger brother. After getting shitfaced drunk with one's older brother, the pledge would become their big brother's servant. The situation proved beneficial to both parties. While a pledge couldn't offer much to the big brother other than performing menial tasks, the big brother had been chosen based on similar interests and skills as the pledge. In a manner, the bigger brother became the pledge's master, and the pledge became the older brother's apprentice.

For Naruto, he received the exact opposite of a physically strong sealing student. He received an extremely intelligent bigger brother who specialized in the medical arts due to his superb chakra control. According to his superiors in Root that reported directly to the alumni executives who made the decision, Naruto didn't need to get better at punching harder or making more intricate seals, but he needed to get better at his horrendous chakra control that held him back in his sealing arts, taijutsu somehow, ninjutsu for sure and genjutsu without a doubt.

Thus, Naruto's older brother worked him relentlessly and without break to improve his pitiful chakra control. Naruto quickly discovered that he viewed himself as a hard worker at sealing arts and exercising his body because he loved doing both of those things. When it came to tasks that Naruto didn't have a passion for, he didn't meet the hard working image that he gave himself. This became a fact that his big brother had no trouble saying every hour of every day. The constant complaints worked on Naruto because at the end of the day it made him realize that he lied to himself, and he hated deluding himself no matter the circumstances. In the end, he grew to like Kabuto.

Through it all, Naruto didn't regret joining Root for a minute. He loved the camaraderie and brotherhood he shared with not only his pledge brothers but the rest of the fraternity as well. Even when he died during hell week and couldn't go on in the physically and mentally gruelling activities, his pledge brothers had his back despite failing on them. Despite no showing or telling any emotion, that one event had one of the greatest impacts on Naruto in his life. The undeniable fact that these boys, these friends, these brothers had his back meant much to the boy who always questioned his worth in the eyes of others.

Thus, when his older brother told him to assume the position, Naruto had no trouble grabbing his ankles and awaiting the swat. Naruto, however, didn't expect his big brother to reach into his uniform pants and start tugging his pink frilly thong upwards. The senior kept at the wedgie bringing it down and then up again in an extremely painful manner for Naruto's family jewels. After a few minutes of the continuous tugging and Naruto's face contorting in pain, the thong ripped off.

His senior blew well-controlled fire on the shredded thong and threw it into the sky to burn. Naruto looked around to see that the sounds of pain coming from his pledge brothers originated from the same source of pain. Apparently, one last tradition to the final ceremony involved ripping off the thong in a wedgie. Naruto really couldn't have been too surprised by the turn of events.

Snapping back up into proper military posture, Naruto enjoyed the free feeling of not wearing a constricting thong. He could only take the thong off when he got back at his apartment at ten at night. Every pledge had to join in on the morning calisthenics and the afternoon personalized training regime after the pledges finished with their clubs. Then, the pledges showered in the Root communal showers under constant threat from the actual members before having study hall from seven to ten. During this time, the pledge trainers monitored the pledges to make sure they continued and excelled in their studies without any interference.

Only during the morning, afternoon and study hall hours did the actual members of Root treat the pledges like human beings. Otherwise, the pledges, as the Root commander called Naruto the first day, had the pleasure of being Root's bitches to use as Root pleased. Those moments allowed Naruto the opportunity to ask and received advice from Kabuto in Root regarding both his developments athletically and academically. Despite all of the demanding activities of Root, Naruto managed to skyrocket his growth in his studies and the literal growth of his body up and out.

The big brother's escorted the now new members of Root from the dreaded backyard into the giant courtyard of the fraternity complex. On the way, the other Root members started clapping and cheering at the new members as they assembled in the middle. Naruto felt his heart rising in happiness at having both the honor of becoming a member of Root but leading his pledge class as their captain and number one bitch through all of the obstacles and challenges that Root threw in front of their way to becoming members.

Suddenly, the first floor doors opened, and the new members of the sorority arm of Root flooded into the courtyard holding platters of sake like professional waitresses. Naruto found the girl with the biggest jugs and largest bottle of sake. Grabbing the sake, he proved once more that no one could chug alcohol in his pledge class faster than him. He held the bottle upside down afterwards above the girl's mouth to let the last few drops fall into her open mouth. Naruto then grabbed her gently by the back of the hair and started making out without hesitation in front of everyone in broad daylight.


	34. The Test

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER ELEVEN: WIND

THE TEST

* * *

AN: Happy first week of spring semester to me.

* * *

Naruto swaggered up to the front of his second semester freshmen elemental manipulation class. The teacher had finally called his name to collect the special chakra sensitive paper that allowed people with sufficiently large enough chakra reserves to determine their chakra nature. The elemental affinity assigned by the paper would dictate which of the five classes that the student would be placed into during sophomore year. For this semester, the instructor would go over the basics of all elemental natures, the basic techniques, the proper synergies and other strategies.

He took the paper respectfully with his new founded gentlemanlike behavior that he accredited to his time during Root's pledgeship. Also, it helped him with the ladies to offset his reputation as a total manwhore. Naruto didn't care too much; he loved the ladies. He just regretted that the characteristic gave him a bad name in the female circles. Apparently, his self-proclaimed ability to give unending female orgasms in bed didn't make up for his numerous conquests.

Naruto didn't have to give much thought to which elemental chakra he would get from the paper. With a name like Naruto Uzumaki that literally meant Fishcake Whirlpool, a water elemental chakra nature simply came with the name. Also, his research into the mysterious Uzumaki clan that had been dying out over the past two centuries since the defeat of their home village turned up the Uzumaki's affinity for water consistently.

While water didn't exactly have the same level of excitement as giant balls of fire, he liked to think that water could be the most useful for Naruto considering his resourceful personality. Furthermore, he could exploit the resources available to him in Root's vast repertoire of elemental chakra techniques that boasted the exact copies of the Second Hokage Tobirama Senju's techniques as the original founder of Root and his own clan the Namikaze. Also, as luck would have it, his big brother had a water affinity, which helped Kabuto in his medical studies.

He already had dreams of being the next God of the Water like Tobirama or the Goddess of the Whirlpools like the famous founder of the Hidden Village in the Eddies. He would even surpass the God of the Waves that united the disparate clans of the Land of Water into the Hidden Village in the Mist. Water would heed his call and wash over all those who stood in front of him.

Just like Tobirama, Naruto would use his superb water prowess to wash aside the petty flames of the Uchiha clan and shove it in their aristocratic and perfect porcelain features. He didn't have anything against the Uchiha clan, but the Uchiha that he won the championship with and against and that swatted his bottom decided to fuck two of his ex-girlfriends – both of which wouldn't let Naruto penetrate.

Of course, Naruto confronted the giant fucking asshole despite everyone's advice. Naruto didn't get the overwhelming victory of pummeling the smug and perfect face black and blue but instead got his own ass handed to him with a few nasty comments about Naruto's pledgeship experiences and his conquests with Naruto's ex-girlfriends.

Apparently, the duels between the Uchiha and the Senju actually merited something. Their rivalry made them both giants walking amongst mere mortals. That combined with the main bloodline Uchiha's porcelain and perfect features gave him the ability to woo any woman just by looking in their direction. Thus, he would use his destined water affinity to rain on the Uchiha's parade and deflate his sky-high ego.

He really should count his blessings for having a water affinity. Leaf maintained the second largest reserve of water elemental techniques in the Elemental Nations thanks to Tobirama, the Namikaze clan and Leaf's relationship with Whirlpool. Naturally, Leaf contained the largest and most extensive techniques for fire nature releases with the third largest class of nature techniques being earth thanks to the Senju clan. Thank the gods he didn't have to worry about having a lightning nature or worst a wind nature.

The Hatake clan boasted a few lightning techniques with the Namikaze clan having half a dozen or so wind techniques related to their clan name meaning "Waves and Winds". The problem for an aspiring student like Naruto arose from the issue that Naruto didn't belong to either the Hatake or the Namikaze clans, so he couldn't exploit their withheld knowledge claiming them to be clan techniques.

"Uzumaki-san," the teacher asked. "If you would be so kind as to channel chakra into the paper like everyone else before you."

"Oh, right," Naruto chuckled and started to channel his chakra into the paper without any real care for seeing what he already knew.

When the paper split in half, Naruto blinked a few times with a blank face, "Well, that's the weirdest water nature I've ever seen."

"That would be because it's not water, deadlast," the Uchiha said with malicious humor in his black and soulless eyes. Naruto had no idea why the Uchiha kept calling him that name despite elementary school being like a century ago.

"No," Naruto said steadfastly. "It's water. Trust me. It has to be water."

The teacher touched Naruto on the shoulder, "I'm sorry Uzumaki-san, but you clearly have a wind affinity and a very strong one at that judging by how well and fast the paper split."

"I refuse," Naruto said unwilling to comprehend getting the worst elemental nature in all of Leaf.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Uzumaki-san," the teacher said with a sweet voice over some of the class' chuckling at Naruto's petulance. "You will be able to support the fire natured member of your squad. In fact, you'll probably be assigned with the strongest fire user in your grade, so you get to already know your other teammate. You get to be the wind behind the flames of Leaf. It'll be a very prestigious position. I assure you. Every good hero needs a sidekick, and you get to be that sidekick, Uzumaki-san."

"Wait," the Uchiha and consequently the strongest fire user in their grade said. "What?"

"Sidekick," Naruto whispered under his breath. He didn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I'm water natured. I demand a retest. This is a cruel prank. Nothing more. Give me another piece of this damn paper."

"I'm afraid not, Uzumaki-san," the incredibly insulting teacher said. "No elemental chakra nature test in the history of the Hidden Villages has proven wrong. Your nature might in the future allow an addition such as water, but right now your affinity is pure, one-hundred percent, unadulterated wind."

Naruto looked up into the glaring ceiling light and screamed at the top of his lungs, "No!"

"Uzumaki-san!" the teacher chastised. "Control yourself this instance young man."

"I don't see how this changes anything," the Uchiha said. "You've always been the sidekick anyway."

Naruto saw red.

* * *

"Headmistress?" Naruto asked, as he looked around the room seeing the Uchiha with a shining black eye. "What are you doing here? You know we're in high school now, right? With a Headmaster and everything."

The Uchiha audibly rolled his eyes.

The Headmistress gave Naruto a flat look at the stupidity of his question, "As I was about to say Uzumaki-san, the Headmaster of the high school has brought me in for this dispute, and all future disputes that involve you. The Educational Board has seen fit to make me your personal keeper in matters regarding your education due to my high efficacy rating with you compared to my peers."

The Uchiha audibly raised an eyebrow from his side. Naruto decided to look over the books on the Headmaster's bookcase while twirling his hair in one of his hands to a small whistling sound. He had no idea why a blush stained his cheeks. No idea at all. The Headmistress' wicked gleam in her eyes said that she didn't miss the sudden change in attitude at all.

"It's such a shame that I had to be pulled away from my pressing matters to discipline you Uzumaki-san. You've had such a great record lately, and it is such a shame to see it stained for such a trivial matter," the Headmistress said in fake sincerity.

She wanted to paint his bottom red with her infamous meter stick. Naruto knew it. The Headmistress knew Naruto knew it, and Naruto knew that the Headmistress knew that he knew. He had to bite the side of his lips a few times to get his bearings straight from the sexual tension between them. Furthermore, the fact that they needed to actually act normal in front of the Uchiha added far more fire to the passion compared to their roleplaying attempts in middle school.

"Trivial?" Naruto said with true sincerity. "I find nothing about this trivial."

"You are right Uzumaki-san. This is no trivial matter at all. You are the only wind natured student in Leaf in over a decade," the Headmistress said. "This is a very big deal, Uzumaki-san, and the upper echelons of Leaf have taken notice. The last wind natured ninja from Leaf was a bastard from Sand who became a successful Shinobi before being assassinated by what everyone believes to be Sand. Before him was the current honorable Hokage-sama's second son who has the very rare and prestigious honor of being one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja for the Fire Daimyo himself. A position that you might one day inherit if you continue to work hard.

"Unlike Cloud, every other Hidden Village does not have the luck of having ninja from every pool of elemental chakra. Then again, no other village pursued Clouds barbaric kidnapping policies and breeding programs. This is seen by the fact that every land and village other than Earth and a defunct Land of Water have severe sanctions against the Land of Lightning and the Village Hidden in the Clouds.

"Yet, here you are upset that you don't have water nature of all things. I thought you didn't want to be like every third student. In Leaf, in a given group of three ninja students, one is bound to have a fire nature, one is bound to have a water nature, and the third is a toss up that is usually earth or lightning.

"Thus, being a wind user makes you a very lucrative Shinobi to have on any team. It's good to be wind natured because it's good to be wanted by everyone, right Uzumaki-san. We've frequently talked about how you want people to notice you for the right reasons instead of the wrong reasons. Here is a right reason, and it literally fell into your lap. Of course, in your typical fashion, you threw the gift out the window the moment you got it because of your silly preconceived notions."

"I know Headmistress," Naruto said under his breath before perking up, "but I am no sidekick, especially to that Uchiha prick!"

The Uchiha made a motion to start speaking before the Headmistress picked up her finger and gave him the signal not to talk. The Uchiha frowned at the derision. When did he get the opportunity to talk? He felt like he was watching this conversation through a one-way mirror in a Military Police interrogation room. Did the blonde idiot even know he sat right next to him and could hear everything he said?

"The elemental instructor misspoke Naruto," the Headmistress said with sincerity. "I apologize on her behalf as a fellow educator. She had never received a wind nature user during her career as you could imagine, and she didn't know how to properly handle the situation. She is also a fire natured individual herself which gave her the disposition to consider a hypothetical wind-natured user in a support or ancillary role. A wind user, like every other user, can act in any manner of roles, which she will soon teach you.

"Also, and this is a secret between us, she comes from a noble family that believes highly in the sanctity and purity of bloodlines. You see. She naturally considered someone of your, lets say, heritage would be more than honored with the opportunity to help someone from a higher pedigree. I am in no way trying to justify or defend her behavior in this regard. I'm just saying how she thinks and how this affected what she said in the classroom."

The Uchiha didn't find anything wrong with the teacher's correct understanding of the world. No said the world was fair, and the simple fact of the matter is that some people are born of higher station than others. Some people are better than others.

Naruto, on the other hand, frowned heavily at that fact pattern and instantly disliked the elemental teacher even more than he previously did. Nonetheless, he knew that some people thought that to be true, and Naruto could only prove them wrong to dissuade them from their ways.

"I understand, Headmistress," Naruto said solemnly.

The Headmistress gave a small smile, "I'm glad, Uzumaki-san. It's good to see you have matured along with your body."

Naruto gave a coy smile and blushed while deliberately flexing some of his muscle groups underneath his high school uniform long sleeve shirt and pants, "You think so, Headmistress."

"I know so, Uzumaki-san," she said sweeping her red tongue against her dark red lips, "but I'm afraid that your understanding of the matter now does not excuse your previous behavior. Such naughty actions have to be punished."

Naruto squeezed his legs together while placing his hands in his laps to strategically cover himself. The Uchiha started looking back and forth from the Headmistress and the dumb blonde with unease. Were they doing what he thought they were doing? Were they flirting with each other?

"Don't think I've forgotten about you, Uchiha-san," the Headmistress said. "I'll be writing a very strongly worded letter to your father over your indecent actions by edging Uzumaki-san during a moment of personal crisis. Such behavior is inexcusable in future teammates whether you want to admit it or not. Wouldn't you have to agree, Uchiha-san?"

"Hai, Headmistress," the Uchiha said plainly despite not believing a word of any of it. His parents would express disappointment, slap him on the wrist and tell him to focus more on his studies instead of the kids around him.

"For you, Uzumaki-san, I will also be writing a letter. I find that the honorable Councilor Danzo Shimura-sama of the Hokage's private council and head commander of Root should be notified of your reaction to being wind natured. Granted, he probably already knows, but still. As you may or most likely don't know judging by your actions earlier today, Shimura-sama is one of the foremost wind users in Leaf who became famous for his combination techniques with a late Uchiha. An Uchiha who died in battle, by the way, while the enemy separated him from Shimura-sama," the Headmistress said killing Naruto's bulge and causing his face to go pale at the thought of getting his ass rimmed out by the geriatric cripple who had a stare that could kill.

The Headmistress continued, "Also, due to your violent actions Uzumaki-san, I will be personally punishing you."

Naruto snapped his neck to make immediate eye contact, "In the high school Headmaster's room?"

"Hai," the Headmistress said with a sly smile.

The Uchiha felt like throwing up at both the obvious threat on the part of the Headmistress and the Headmistress' relationship with the empty-headed blonde. His family knew all about Danzo Shimura's partnership with the respected Kagami Uchiha. If he remembered correctly, then the third member hailed from the Akimichi clan. It would be just his luck to have the knuckleheaded blonde on his team.

He might have improved dramatically from his elementary school days, but no one ever really changed who they were as a person. Naruto would simply be always living a punk's life, and Sasuke would be burdened with it for the first few years of his career as a Shinobi. Also, the idiot still believed he had sexual relations with his two ex-girlfriends. Sasuke didn't stain the honor of his clan and the main family by whoring himself out like the blonde.

The Headmistress looked unimpressed at Sasuke, "You're dismissed Uchiha-san."

Uchiha got up and left without any hesitation or a backwards look.

Unfortunately, he didn't exit fast enough before the blonde decided to open his ridiculously large mouth that could probably fit one of those oranges from the latest Fire colony, "Have I been a naughty boy, Headmistress?"


	35. Lazy River

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER ELEVEN: WIND

LAZY RIVER

* * *

Naruto stared down at the leaf resting innocently on the grass from his kneeling position. His bent head dripped sweat from the mid-summer heat onto the leaf and Naruto's enemy number one. He hated how it looked up at him as if nothing could be wrong in the world. It looked up at him as if it didn't mock his very existence. Naruto snarled at it.

A wood cane made from ancient Hashirama wood crashed into the back of Naruto's head. Naruto couldn't stop himself from snarling back up before realizing his place and looking back down subserviently. His mood must be really bad if he even as much as almost snarled at the honorable Shimura-sama. As the true commander of Root, the man literally held Naruto's future in his hands. In other words, this geriatric fool had his balls in his hand and wouldn't hold back from smashing them into pulp like one of those oranges from the latest Fire colony.

He had big balls.

"Forgive me for my insolence honorable Shimura-sama," Naruto said still facing the leaf.

But his balls weren't that big.

"A calm body, a calm mind, a calm soul are all the ingredients needed to make a true ninja," the partially mummified man said. Naruto had a strong inclination to believe he had an Akimichi as his other teammate based off of the dude's continuous use of food metaphors. "And you have none of them."

"Hai, Shimura-sama," Naruto said with no sincerity. If he heard it once, then he had heard it a million times. His body did not do calm. His mind did not do calm. His soul did not do calm. Naruto could make the wind like a tempest around him, but he couldn't so much as cut a stupid leaf.

"Don't get smart with me boy," Shimura-sama said. "You might have a lot of chaotic power, but it is all useless if you can't focus it. I'm telling you to focus the wind in your chakra to cut a simple leaf. What are you going to do when the Hokage actually asks something of you? Curse at it all day hoping the work will finish itself?"

Naruto had to admit that his hard working personality had a selective nature in that it only applied to topics he had passion. Unfortunately, wind nature chakra did not give him any passion. When the Headmistress' letter reached the aging councilor, he stuck his scarred chin into Naruto's personal affairs. His first order of business reneged Naruto's Sealing Arts Division summer application. Naruto made his first mistake by confronting the commander of Root on the matter.

Thus, here he knelt in the grass with a leaf in his hands in the mid-summer heat. He could be working on mastering his Sealing Arts. He could be improving his chakra reserves and chakra control. He could be pumping weights or doing sprints to improve his physical prowess. Instead, he worked on his elemental chakra nature that would - at best - work to help his destined Uchiha teammate's mastery of the fire release. Naruto felt sick at the idea. All of this precious summer time being wasted for a spoiled son of the main Uchiha line.

Feeling the towering man's gaze on the back of his head, Naruto's nuts tightened up into his body. Naruto took steady breaths pushing to the side his fated Uchiha teammate and accepted his wind affinity. Then, he transferred the thoughts he originally he had about being a master of water to being a master of win. After clearing his head, he focused solely on the feeling of the breath leaving and entering his nose. Then, he stretched his body's senses to focus on the touch, taste, smell, sound and vision of the wind around him.

After the appropriate amount of time to get acquainted with his asshole of a brother, the wind, he took those feelings and searched for them inside of his chakra. The vast ocean of his chakra diluted these senses, but Naruto continued to search. As usual, he found the sharp and violent feeling he associated with his assumption of wind, but he ignored it this time. He needed to find the quiet in the storm. He thought along the lines of the eye of a hurricane or tornado that one of his science classes taught about in a lecture over natural disasters.

He continued the search throughout his chakra system. He ignored the gravitational pull of the dark flame in his navel that frequently distracted Naruto's efforts and tainted his mind. He searched through the vast currents of chakra that swirled throughout his body like a whirlpool. He needed to find the center of the whirlpool, but the very same currents pushed him away.

In his senses, the leaves moved downwards with gravity, but at the same time the leaves moved with the wind, not against the wind. He had been moving against the wind in a sense. He had just been finding the first or second or third feeling of the violent wind nature in his chakra system and tugging it out and throwing it at the leaf through his hands. Maybe elemental chakra didn't react properly through Naruto's bullheaded attempts to just get this insanity over and back to sealing.

A thoughtless chuckle escaped his lips as he entered the slipstreams of the violent and hostile nature of his internal whirlpool. He followed the stream in relative bliss despite the absurd speed of the winds. The sensation reminded him of the few times he went tubing down one of Leaf's lazy rivers. A shame he didn't bring a six-pack for this ride. The inherently violent chakra winds didn't buffet his senses this time, as the wind naturally pushed or maybe pulled his body forward.

It almost felt like wind blowing through his hair, but he couldn't tell from what direction. Without a doubt, Naruto had never felt this way before in his life. He could get lost in this internal whirlpool he just discovered despite a week of stubbornly just yanking at it like a child. Deciding to see how far down the rabbit hole he could go, he stayed on the jet streams of his soul.

The further we went down the tube; the faster the rapids dragged him. The whirlpool transformed from a violent lazy river to the motion of a stopper being pulled in a near empty bathtub. He supposed he could also represent the sensation as a toilet flushing but that would make him the turd, and Naruto didn't want to be the turd in the metaphor.

He started to struggle in the rapids trying to keep his head above water. A thoughtless chuckle escaped him again. The sensation reminded him of the early middle school memory where the Inuzuka bully introduced him to the swirlie. He maneuvered his metaphysical body in the swirlie to keep his head above water and felt his chakra pass him by over and over. He supposed he was the turd in the metaphor.

Suddenly but not in a jerky motion, the slipstream deposited him in a void of nothingness as he let the momentum continue to push him in gentle circles. Slowing down, he stretched his out-of-body but actually in-the-body senses out from the void to embrace the maelstrom of wind that existed hidden in his chakra system. He felt like an explorer in one of those Fire colonies that he watched in the cinema every now and then.

If he had to guess, the maelstrom and the dark fire in the pit of his navel probably struggled against the ocean of chakra in his body causing his poor chakra control. Thus, he had his large chakra reserves, maelstrom of wind and the dark fire all working against his chakra control. His previous chakra control exercises most likely only took into consideration his large chakra pool and not the two sources that created dissonance in his system. Maybe he should tackle these problems afterwards, but first he had a task to do.

In the void, he thought about what the next step should be to get the pure elemental chakra to rip the leaf in between his palms. His previous attempts involved ripping out a piece of the maelstrom and hoping it would do the job. He had a week of experience to realize that would not be the case. If a piece of the pie didn't work, then maybe the whole pie would work. Naruto realized his attempts at figurate speech could use some improvement.

Using his normal chakra, he pulled from the quiet lake that the maelstrom deposited him into just recently. He pulled, but he didn't pull anything. Switching tactics, he pushed the eye of the storm outwards but nothing happened. The feeling reminded him of lifting weights that didn't budge because he lacked strength. Surely, the problem didn't come from his inability to pull or push strong enough in his chakra. He discovered during learning his Clone technique that pulling or pushing his chakra harder made the technique backfire in a vast haze of chakra smoke.

He needed to pure wind chakra that materialized itself as a maelstrom in his body somehow. What if he just continued the whirlpool to his hands to cut the leaf. He latched his chakra to the tail end of the river that emptied into the still lake. He started to drag the wind chakra but met immediate resistance as the wind rejected his attempts to manipulate it. It did not give into his knee-jerk reaction to tug the wind

He tried to remember the sensation of the wind outside of his body. What would he have to do in order to make that wind go where he wanted? If he built a tube with a giant funnel on the outside, then he could get the wind through that contraption. Naruto gave it a thought before dismissing it. He wouldn't really do that inside his own body, or could he? He thought again on the matter and envisioned moving all of his regular chakra out of the way as if parting a sea and allowing the wind chakra to flow through the artificially created tunnel in his own chakra system.

Likewise, Naruto analogized the situation to when his apartment had the main door opened, and the emergency exit door open. The long hallway that stretched through the ground floor turned into a giant, howling wind tunnel of sorts. Maybe, he could try to create such an effect by opening 'both doors.' The problem, of course, came to light when Naruto couldn't even really identify what the 'doors' represented in his chakra system.

The problem never changed in that Naruto needed to cut the leaf with his wind chakra, but first he needed to get the wind chakra to his hands so that he could manipulate it from there. While a simple task in theory, the practice proved quite difficult. Naruto struggled and tried a variety of different tactics of pulling, pushing, moving, suggesting and guiding the wind chakra through the sea of his regular chakra with no tangible success. Some tactics moved it more than others, but in the end the wind chakra always reverted back to the gravitational pull of the maelstrom inside him.

In one of his attempts to just do anything with the elemental chakra and see what happened, Naruto discovered that his chakra system didn't act in the two-dimensions of the x- and y-axis. There existed a z-axis that he didn't even think about despite his foresight declaring such a feature as obvious. In the textbooks and lectures, the material always presented the chakra system as a flat picture with the important chakra points, the eight gates and which chakra locations to focus for specific types of abilities.

Inside the chakra system, however, proved to be a living-breathing animal similar to one of the autopsies of the dead frog. The veins and arteries had a height, a minimal height, but a height nonetheless because the experiment involved taking measurements of every feature. Naruto felt the need to palm his face. The teachers and textbooks always related the chakra system to the circulatory system of the body, so of course the chakra pathways always compared to as veins and arteries just for chakra would have the same dimensions as the circulatory system.

He lifted, pulled and pushed the ending stream of the tornado to meager success before it snapped back into place. Naruto moved his senses back to the eye of the storm before trying the other direction. He moved his ethereal body through the bottom dragging the wind nature behind him while cutting a path through his regular chakra.

He found success as his body swam through his pathways with an unnatural fluidity as the wind chakra remained connected to him. Never letting go of the chakra, Naruto moved through the twists and the turns of his chakra pathways. He felt his senses within his own body in a contrived and odd fashion to navigate himself up his torso and down one of his arms.

In an equally odd feeling, he exited the main chakra point in his right hand dragging the wind chakra with him. Upon hitting the leaf, he dispersed his senses and returned to his natural state of awareness. Naruto opened his eyes and opened his hands to the leaf in his palms. A small hole the size of Naruto's chakra point in his palm almost penetrated halfway through the leaf's thin membrane.

A smile blossomed across Naruto's face as he jumped up from his kneeling position screaming, "Yatta!"

'I can totally do this now!' Naruto thought in exuberance. 'And to think I thought badly about wind natured chakra. I can do this all day!'

Naruto felt the passion for mastering his wind affinity swell through his body. Looking up, he took measure of his surroundings. The waxing moon hung partially in the sky as the night creatures continued their symphony. Naruto looked behind him to see no crippled geriatric and frowned. He didn't even leave a note.

He must have really lost a significant portion of the day, while he toured his own chakra pathways. It must have lasted quite some time because he started practicing right after lunch at Root. Getting up, he felt and heard his stomach roar in upset at being ignored. Patting it in apology, he headed towards of the late night diners hoping he could get a decent meal.

The smile didn't fade from his face despite losing track of time. He had work to do. He needed to figure how he would split the elemental chakra in equal halves and travel at the same speed down both arms to then release the same amount of chakra. Once in his hands, he needed to then properly disperse the chakra through the proper chakra points to release the chakra in such a manner as to cut the leaf in a straight line just like Shimura-sama demonstrated every day.

'It's going to be a long summer,' Naruto thought as he now understood how perfecting one's wind nature took a lifetime of theory, meditation and practice.


	36. Introductions

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER ELEVEN: WIND

INTRODUCTIONS

* * *

Air blasts shot from Naruto's open palms blew the incoming shuriken out of the way. Naruto blinked the sweat out of his eyes as he pulled out a kunai to block another set of shuriken according to his trainer's instruction by yelling out kunai. After blocking them, the instructor ordered a Substitution, so Naruto performed a Substitution with the designated weighted kunai.

After the Substitution, he had to blast away another set of shuriken with his palm blasts. Then, he formed the hand seals for his latest ninjutsu, the Wind Release: Great Breakthrough, to blow away the swarm of shuriken heading his way. Next, he performed the same ninjutsu after releasing his own shuriken empowering the shuriken to speeds that could only be achieved by the strongest of Jonin without help.

He danced to the tune of his Root trainer's instruction without falter or hesitation despite his muscles aching and both his natured and regular chakra depleting. He had been the performing like this for the last month everyday for his after school sessions during his first semester as a sophomore. For the first time, Naruto felt like a clan child by being naturally ahead of the class due to the extra training he did in the summer to Shimura-sama's instructions.

Due to his wind nature, Naruto didn't get a specific class for his affinity like the other four more common affinities. In order to make up for this, the Headmaster and Jiji got involved to have a revolving door of active and retired ninja that had the pleasure of a wind affinity or at the very least had a solid understanding of wind techniques.

The host of characters that Naruto saw stretched from Namikaze members that gave him weird looks to Jiji's last living son that was cool to that Hatake's girl's mother from Sand that constantly teased Naruto with subtle touches and looks. Needless to say, Naruto would have hit that ass and married it too despite the perceived dishonor of a main family clan member marrying a foreigner without a proper arrangement between both families.

The little sand witch knew it too, which didn't help him focus at all. Fortunately, she didn't hold Naruto's victory in seventh grade against her daughter against him. Oddly enough, he learned more with her than the other instructors, but Naruto attributed it to her knowledge of wind from Sand.

His after school training regimes hosted by an active Shinobi that worked for Shimura-sama had multiple purposes. The training exercises simultaneously improved his physical and chakra endurance, speed and reflexes. As a side effect, the continuous switching between regular and elemental chakra greatly improved his chakra control for both types to where he no longer had a cooldown period between using a wind technique and a regular technique- a skill that Naruto learned through grueling daily sessions of being punctured by legitimate shuriken.

Shimura-sama believed that pain served as the greatest motivator for improvement, and Naruto would have to agree in that respect. He, however, compensated by buying a pair of bracers for his wrists that he then augmented with seal work that hardened objects to an absurd degree without increasing the weight. As it turned out, the instructor had been restraining his throws and didn't take to kindly to Naruto's smart-ass solution.

Shuriken hit shuriken in a clash sending all six of them down. Naruto dashed forward, caught each in mid-air between his fingers, threw them back out and performed a Wind Release: Great Breakthrough. Landing on the ground, he brought his bracers up to block the three more incoming to fall around him. The training session didn't end until Root served dinner at the complex he now lived at with his fellow brothers. After dinner, he would dedicate himself to his studies along with the new class of pledges. He would rinse and repeat the schedule everyday of the week with extra long sessions on the weekends.

As a wind user, a sealing journeyman and a physical and chakra powerhouse, he had more potential than the rest of his orphaned and bastard peers. As a result, Root shelled out the resources to turn the two time middle-school champion of the Games into its poster boy. By performing well, Naruto would increase the pledge class for incoming grades and bring in more donations and political clout for Root as a highly successful organization that could turn devoted orphans with no special parentage or upbringing into ninja that could fight toe-to-toe with their clan peers.

Furthermore, the last semester elemental manipulation teacher didn't lie when she said that Naruto had been gifted with his wind affinity because he would be on the same team as one of the greatest students of their grade. This would allow Naruto to get in on the special missions and tasks that would be requested from an Uchiha main family member. Naruto could use these opportunities to boost his own connections along with those for Root as its ambassador by example.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them an ancient poet that they read in the language arts class. Ultimately, greatness didn't matter from its source because great equaled great regardless. Naruto found that quote to be particularly correct compared to some of the readings they did. He personally didn't care much for the famous samurai and ninja death poems that always dealt with something or another falling.

* * *

Naruto slammed his Root-provided lunch down onto the table in front of the Uchiha and sat himself down pushing aside some the other minor, side-family Uchiha. Deliberately ignoring the affronted looks around him, he gave the Uchiha a Cheshire grin. Every lunch table had a specific clan or clique of kids. Root, for instance, had a corner of the cafeteria for both the fraternity and sorority arms. Breaking the unspoken rules of social hierarchy had always been a guilty pleasure for Naruto.

He grabbed the large red apple from his tray in one hand and asked, "How are you, my new best friend."

The Uchiha returned a flat stare without making any recognition towards the idiot blonde. The blonde's ridiculously large mouth showed even more teeth as the red apple suddenly split itself into perfect slices.

While shoving the apple slices into his mouth, Naruto cooed, "Aw. Are we still upset about losing the championship in middle school? No. That can't be it. Maybe you're upset that I won the Game before that for our team before you show off your magical eyeballs? Or are we upset that we never really had the chance to show the Senju who the true greatest clan in Leaf truly is?"

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes in clear derision of the blonde and his inane comments. The idiot grabbed one of those new oranges from the most recent Fire colony. Sasuke compared the size to the dead last's mouth, but he couldn't get a good reading on if it would fit. The blonde instead held it in one hand and perfectly peeled it without any effort.

As the large single peel fell to the table, Naruto continued to talk while eating, "I personally think it's because you have daddy issues, but that's not my place."

"Excuse me," Sasuke said through gritted teeth at the blonde's nerves. The idiot clearly never improved in his social skills despite his middle school developments and participation in the respectable Root organization

"I'm sorry," Naruto said as he licked the orange juice from his fingers. "Did you say something?"

Sasuke restrained himself from activating his Sharingan and beating the blonde to a pulp like that orange. He didn't want to give the blonde the pleasure of getting a reaction out of him. Furthermore, the blonde would probably enjoy the punishment. Every time the idiot gets punished, he turns it into a good thing and comes back stronger than ever.

Finishing licking his fingers, Naruto pulled out a banana to peel with his wind chakra and said, "Anyway. I was thinking since we are star-crossed lovers and fated to be best friends forever. I thought we could get to know each other and stuff. I'll start. My name is Naruto potentially of clan Uzumaki as the some born son of who knows and so what."

The Uchiha maintained a blank expression at Naruto's introduction. Did the idiot not know his first name even when he, Sasuke Uchiha, knew his first name? He understood that while Naruto perverted the ultra-traditional introduction that Sasuke only used once or twice in his life, Naruto actually didn't know his parents.

Furthermore, the debate still existed in the female rumor mills about Naruto's actual parentage. The Hokage didn't help by giving the same vague answer that he had always given that made it sound like Naruto had Uzumaki blood but at the same time the Hokage couldn't identify the Uzumaki parent. He only knew because of the research he performed on his teammate and later opponent in the championship games.

It would be improper of Sasuke as a descendant of the main Uchiha line not to return the same courtesy to Naruto despite his extremely insulting tone and mannerisms. After all, as an Uchiha, he had the mantle of responsibility to act proper in a sea of barbarians.

He replied without inflection, "My name is Sasuke of clan Uchiha as the second son of Fugaku and Mikoto."

"Nice to meet ya, Sasuke," Naruto said pleasantly as he used his finger to slice his large sandwich in quarters. "As I'm sure you are aware, the Games are about to start again for the first time in our high school career. During freshman year we couldn't participate because it would distract us from performing our D-ranks that we had the option of signing up for on a first-come first-serve basis. Now, however, we won't have that privilege come next semester. And it doesn't take a sealing genius such as myself to figure out that they are going to be giving us the same D-ranks."

"And?" Sasuke asked wondering where the blonde thought this conversation headed.

"And I think it would be nice to get to know each other first, my best friend in the whole wide world," Naruto said with a cheery smile as he took a giant bite from his sandwich quarter. "I'll start. I still hate you for fucking my ex-girlfriends."

"I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriends," Sasuke said diplomatically. He had no intention of having Naruto's leftovers or sticking it in anything that walked.

"So you're telling me that those two soulless harpies got together to prank me," Naruto said in sarcasm in the beginning but changing his tone to one of realization. "The cunts."

Sasuke didn't react, but of few of his more traditional and safeguarded cousins coughed fitfully.

"I still think you are a pretentious asshole whose greatest claim to fame is coming from your mother's vagina," Naruto said anyway.

"I think you're a dead last punk who uses his streak of good luck to hide behind his true nature as trash picked off from the streets on the Hokage's whim," Sasuke said without changing his tone before taking an innocent sip of his tea.

While the rest of the Uchiha table had minor strokes and heart attacks, Naruto grew a little grin and even licked his lips before saying, "See that wasn't so hard. I like ramen and hate mayonnaise."

"I like tomatoes and hate sweets," Sasuke replied taking a bite from his bento box.

"My favorite color is orange," Naruto said around another bite from his sandwich.

"My favorite color is dark blue," Sasuke said taking a small bite with chopsticks

Naruto nodded sagely, "I believe that is enough for this week. Well, until next time."

Naruto took a final large bite from his sandwich before chugging his water bottle and packing up his trash. Getting up, he threw the ball of trash into the nearby trashcan and swaggered back to the Root corner of the cafeteria with an over-the-shoulder dismissive wave.


	37. Remnant of the Past

AN: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TWELVE: NEW AND OLD

REMNANT OF THE PAST

* * *

AN: Happy President's Day, Valentine's Day and my brother's and mother's Birthday

* * *

Fireballs raced through the sky towards a charging Naruto. He dodged them each in a series of quick sidesteps while continuing his advancing position on the enemy's location. Reaching the enemy's position, he engaged in a tight and controlled taijutsu match with his kunai. Within three blinks of an eye, the enemy's kunai flipped through the air as Naruto disarmed him and followed up with a submission hold exploiting his own superior mass.

The proctor arrived to take the surrendering high school student away from the field with post haste. Naruto frowned. With the advent of elemental ninjutsu techniques, many students fell into the trap of believing a ninja battle became a pissing contest of who could use the most and the biggest and flashiest techniques. Naruto didn't have the ability to fall for that trap because his wind techniques would literally blow up in his face with every fire user in every match facing against him with the common belief that a fire user always trumped a wind user.

Also, he felt bad for so quickly defeating a fellow Root pledge brother in one of the first Games matches as a high schooler. Naruto's high school games uniform proudly had the Root emblem stitched into the back of his high school Game's uniform just like his previous opponent, but Naruto also had the Uzumaki crest on one shoulder.

While in his youth he had a very low opinion of his potential Uzumaki heritage along with a very large sense of abandonment, over the years Naruto had loosened his harsh opinion. Like he always said to himself, it didn't matter, but Naruto couldn't change his last name. Furthermore, he had to play the cards he had and not the ones he wanted.

Thus, he decided not to run away from his last name given by blood or by honor of his unknown parents' sacrifice but to embrace it and make it his own. At least Naruto didn't have to worry about any actual Uzumaki with red straight hair and purple eyes calling him out on it, since according to Jiji they all died or separated to the winds. Naruto frowned at his casual dismissal of an entire clan's premeditated and systematic genocide that he may or may not belong.

Ignoring it nonetheless, he rushed towards his fellow teammate combating his opponent that belonged to the Namikaze clan. While many strong and alive ninja belonged to the Namikaze clan, this particular boy belonged to a fringe of the side family whose barely Jonin mother married for love to some no name peasant farmer that cared for her after a mission went to hell in a handbag.

Naruto firmly believed that one's parents didn't completely determine one's abilities and potential in life, but it sure as hell helped. This belief, however, didn't change the fact that the boy's minimal chakra reserves, thin and short stature and no particular wit to rely on like Shikamaru. His clan's abilities and techniques allowed him a leg up for his opponent that had the equal set of problems as one of Naruto's nerd friends that joined Root.

Naruto managed to convince a large share of the nerds who didn't have a large family or group of family friends to help him in life. Naruto's sudden burst of charisma led to one of the main reasons for him volunteering as the pledge class captain. One of his friends made a joke that he had a natural silver tongue because none of them ever thought they would actually go through with the infamous Root pledgeship.

Everyone liked to give Naruto a hard time on his literal and metaphorical big mouth and loud voice. After his seventh grade championship match, people frequently asked him about his sudden feral disposition especially his roar that managed to block the Hatake girl's shuriken barrage.

In jest, he practiced adding chakra to his vocal cords. Despite pulling his chakra every which way, the feral state never returned nor did the shockwave-inducing roar. All the attempts simply gave Naruto a sore throat. When he talked to the people with the residual chakra, people mentioned feeling an odd compulsion to do as Naruto said similar to a suggestive genjutsu.

Considering it a worthwhile ability especially due to his inability at performing genjutsu, Naruto always kept the fact in the back of his mind when he had free time. Unfortunately, he never had free time with his busy schedule. Furthermore, he couldn't do anything with the ability in a match where all the contestants kept their chakra systems strictly monitored for genjutsus.

The nerdy pledge brother performed the hand signs for Fire Release: Fireball despite facing a water natured Namikaze. Naruto frowned. Ninja who lacked a proper amount of confidence and courage had a tendency to throw out their abilities and hope that something worked. Also, they hid behind their long-range techniques and shuriken to avoid direct combat where their lack of confidence and courage became obvious especially coupled with their general unimpressive physical stature.

Naruto would admit that he hadn't met but one or two clan children that suffered from such weaknesses in personalities needed by ninja. Clearly the clans did something right in instilling or distilling such behavior. His limited understanding of behavioral psychology highly suggested that such behavior developed during childhood and couldn't easily be changed. It could be changed, but if hell week and three months of pledgeship didn't solve the issues, then Naruto didn't really know what would.

Seeing the exchange end in his pledge brother's demise, Naruto threw his weighted kunai at increased precision and speed granted from months of training sessions. From the moment the kunai left Naruto's hands to puncturing the grassy field, Naruto flew through the Substitution hand seals. Appearing behind the passing fireball, Naruto performed the hand seals for Wind Release: Great Breakthrough in rapid succession.

The fireball clashed with the continuous stream of water spewing from the Namikaze's mouth resulting in boiling steam. Naruto had the foresight to see the natural conclusion offered by the clear head he had on his shoulders despite being in a ninja battle that the nerd couldn't see because he let the battle get the better of his nerves.

Before the high-powered water stream overpowered the fireball and probably knocked Naruto's pledge brother unconscious, Naruto's wind release arrived to boost the remaining fireball's flames. The wind release also pushed the resulting burst of boiling steam towards the surprised the Namikaze who immediately disengaged the ninjutsu clash to avoid the boiling steam.

Without hesitation, Naruto sent out a weighted kunai to the direction that the Namikaze headed from the cloud of cooling steam. While he probably could have just sent a weighted kunai at the Namikaze's location in the first place and knocked him out during his ninjutsu counter, where would the flash and the pizazz be?

Plus, he so rarely had the ability to show off his wind ninjutsu that he spent all summer working of in lieu of his Sealing Arts Division summer associateship. Also, this way he wouldn't have to worry about his pledge brother freezing in action, and Naruto got to be the hero showing up in the nick of time to save the day. It's the little things in life after all.

Performing the Substitution technique, Naruto exited the space-time ninjutsu in a classic roundhouse kick. He practiced other moves, but he didn't want to give away that tidbit of information to potential enemy observers. The Namikaze performed a weak cross block due to keeping his focus on the incoming cloud of rapidly cooling yet hot mist.

One of the Root instructors explained in his lecture regarding the difference between good ninja and great ninja that a great ninja examines his or her flaws along with the enemy's flaws. Thus, an individual could learn both from their own and others mistakes. In the case of the Namikaze, he should have had the confidence in his own abilities to dodge the ball of superheated mist and pay more attention the enemy's next move.

In a quick taijutsu exchange, Naruto had the fellow blonde enemy in a submission hold causing the Namikaze to surrender when the proctor promptly arrived. Naruto frowned though because his pledge brother didn't arrive in time to help defeat their opponent and would suffer when the judges posted their scores. He wanted the best for the people he cared about, but they needed to be willing to put the hard work and effort into it.

Then again, life and the village system of ninjas evolved past the point where every ninja needed to be well versed in open combat scenarios. The Games existed in the modern era to differentiate without a doubt who could excel in open combat scenarios and who couldn't handle the pressure.

Leaf had no interest in losing able-bodied men and women who could serve the interests of Leaf and the Land of Fire just because their temperament didn't allow them to excel in such high-pressure scenarios. Leaf unlike some of her peers evolved past the point of all sources of income and employment revolving around assassination, kidnapping, protection, extortion and other covert operations. Leaf acted more often than not in the public eye as highly qualified civil servants that existed to serve the people of the Land of Fire, her territories, her subjects and her allies.

Leaf became well known for churning out highly qualified and professional ninja as a result of their efforts to place ninja in their own niches and specialization rather than forcing everyone into cookie-cutter molds of a covert operative. Thus, if a potential client had a problem no matter how specific with the right amount of coin, then Leaf had an answer. For instance, his pledge brother would excel behind a desk as an administrator and part of the bureaucracy of both Leaf and Fire to make sure that the government responded accurately and efficiently to social, civil and military issues, while Naruto would wither away in such a post.

Weaving through the last remaining girl's shuriken, Naruto kept advancing on her location without halting to dodge or block the shuriken eerily similar to some of his practice sessions. When in range, he placed her into a submission hold after defeating her meager taijutsu defense. With the entire opposing team eliminated, Naruto's team won by default.

Naruto looked around the field in surprise at his own abilities. He just single-handedly won that match for his team without even breaking momentum in his relentless assault.

'Started from the bottom,' Naruto thought in humility with a slight chuckle before joining up with his teammates.

* * *

"This is nice," Naruto said with a smile on his lips. "I get to know more about you, and you get to know more about me. Could it get any better?"

Sasuke continued to walk down the streets deliberately ignoring the dumb blonde jabbering away behind him.

"I'm not sleeping with you," the purple-haired girl said through gritted teeth. She had a palpable aura screaming that she wanted nothing to due with the blonde at all.

Sasuke thanked the gods that the Hokage's Office finally assigned a girl that didn't want to be in Naruto's pants or want Naruto in theirs. While Naruto and to a lesser degree Sasuke foresaw their high school D-rank missions as a pair due to their elemental natures, Sasuke underestimated the extent to Naruto's desire to put his dick into anything with two legs and a pair of tits. Thus, the majority of missions constituted of Naruto's flirtations and the girl's blushes.

Naruto's smile didn't slip for an instant, "How daring. Nobody said anything about sleeping. I don't need a bed to-"

"You're not touching me-" the girl interrupted.

"You can do all the touching if ya want," Naruto immediately offered.

"No one is touching anyone," the female chunin instructor that supervised the group's D-rank mission said in clear derision of Naruto's habit.

Naruto kept the few smart-ass comments in his mouth. It seemed like his running luck with the third female teammate and uncaring chunin instructors would hit a small little pothole. Naruto could handle the dry patch because his optimism saw the rain clouds coming back.

Looking up the street to his perpetual teammate on these D-rank missions, he jogged up a little to walk side by side with his new best friend. Just like he predicted, the Hokage's Office constantly assigned them on the same missions. Their tasks ranged from chopping wood to being gophers for someone to painting fences.

"So I was thinking," Naruto said casually. "What do the Uchiha do to give back to the community, ya know? The Senju build houses for the poor, the Akimichi feed the hungry, even the Aburami and Hyuga clothe the cold, but you don't hear anything about the Uchiha. Because I can tell you right now that if y'all's job was to heat up the soup at the soup kitchens, then you did a piss poor job at the one I used to visit."

"We police the poor to make sure they don't steal and kill innocents to feed their opium addiction and because they're too lazy to work," Sasuke said tonelessly and added with false cheer. "And the fireworks displays during all of the festivals."

"Oh, well that's cool," Naruto replied ignoring the stab at his childhood when he didn't want to put in any work for anything because he felt like the world owed him everything.

The helping hand of the social progressive that Leaf idealized without a doubt helped Naruto, and he would always be grateful. Looking back, however, he really needed Mizuki to get his ass into gear and take a fresh look at the world that Naruto believed oppressed him unfairly due to an unending list of circumstances. The world owed him nothing, and he didn't owe the world anything. They just existed in the same plane.

Once Naruto felt he had a chance in life to be something he could feel proud to be, he set out with the help of his superiors to change his life for the better. His easy victory on his latest Games match forced Naruto take perspective of his life compared to where he had been in life.

"How'd the soup taste?" Sasuke asked. He felt the need to get his future companion at least a little better like his cousins and older brother suggested. They frequently lamented their regret at not getting to know them better in the beginning out of pride or something. Plus, the topic intrigued him to glimpse into the life of an orphan without even an inheritance.

Naruto didn't let the comment show despite getting under his skin a little, "It tasted good when the Akimichi showed up, but other than that it was just tasted like watered down broth. Oh, I remember this now. They made the bowls look bigger by painting the bottom red – that way you couldn't tell how watered down the soup was. And people wonder why I always want more. I've been scooping at the red bottom all my life expecting more than there was in the first place."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow at the blonde's philosophical view that emerged from his answer to his question about the soup from a soup kitchen. The idiot talked too much.

"Luckily for you, knowledge is a well that you dip into every time you learn something," their chunin instructor for this D-rank mission said changing from her no-nonsense attitude that she previously exhibited in response to Naruto's whoremongering.

Sasuke guessed that the female Yuhi clan member with their unique red eyes and raven-black hair that she kept long and untamed actually liked teaching. Sasuke inwardly shivered at the thought of having to teach. While he didn't mind playing ninja with all of his cousins unlike his big brother did for him, he couldn't be with them for longer than an hour without losing his mind. He would leave task to people who could stand being around idiots like the blonde for more than a few hours.

"Oh, really now?" Naruto said looking over his shoulder at the instructor. He felt genuinely impressed at her ability to turn Naruto detailing his soup kitchen experiences to the clan snob next to him into an educational opportunity and life lesson.

Plus, if he played the good student eager to learn, then maybe she could teach him a few things in a horizontal tango. First, he needed to do his magic. Although he refused to use his mysterious ability to affect people with his speech if he added the right amount of strange chakra to his vocal cords to get ladies bend over, he could be more than persuasive without cheating.

"Oh I'm so silly," Naruto said feigning ignorance. "You must be Kurenai Yuhi that I've heard about so much. The girl flying through the ranks of chunin to become a Jonin-sensei for us newbies."

"I don't know about that," the pale girl said with a slight blush and putting a lock of hair behind an ear.

"Oh don't be so modest, Yuhi-sensei," Naruto admonished putting emphasis on the 'sensei'. "I hear about it all the time."

Naruto didn't even have to worry about lying about that statement. One of his wind affinity trainers, Asuma Sarutobi, had the biggest crush on Kurenai and couldn't stop talking about it if triggered. Returning from his tenure as one of the Guardian Ninja to spite his father for some internal issue that Naruto couldn't care less about, he must have had daily wet dreams about this chick. He literally wouldn't shut up the moment Naruto made the slightest mention of the female species.

She chuckled seductively, "Thanks for the compliments. Uzumaki-San."

'Holy shit,' Naruto thought. 'This is actually working.'

"Please, just call me Naruto. Uzumaki-San always feels off to me," Naruto offered with a pleasant smile.

"Oh look, we're here," the purple haired ice bitch announced.

Naruto turned around in curiosity. The address of the D-rank mission to help some old dude with his house scratched the back of Naruto's brain, but he couldn't exactly remember. The worn-down house on the outskirts of the village past the second wall built after the Ninth Hokage ringed more bells, but he still couldn't place his finger on it.

"I didn't pay for this blonde pussy to fuck everything up," a grungy voice from smoking too much cigarettes and drinking too much hooch yelled into the deserted cobblestone path.

Naruto felt his hackles rising and his sensibilities degenerating, as he locked eyes with the demented old man that served as the longest-running foster care family as a single grandfather, "How the fuck ain't you dead you geriatric old coot?"

"Ha," the old man barked without humor. "Did you finally learn a new word and feel all fancy now, ya cocksucker?"

"I learned it while dreaming of pissing on your grave," Naruto retorted.

The old man threw one of the empty bottles of beer that surrounded him at Naruto and said, "How could you with that acorn you call a pecker?"

"I don't know. You tell me. You're the one busy jacking little boys off," Naruto hissed.

"What did you just say, boy!" the man roared from his porch.

"I said: You jack off little boys!" Naruto roared back without missing a beat.

"Why you little fuck! I'll beat the shit out of you again, boy!" he threatened.

"I'd love to see you try to get out of your wheelchair, you shitty old man and watch you roll down the steps like the has-been drunk you are, " Naruto yelled.

The old man started laughing uproariously, "So your balls dropped, and you think you're the kage of the village, huh?"

"Sorry," Naruto said without sincerity, "that I'm no longer your type, but I'll let you lick my balls instead now."

"You want to know how I know the Nine Tails is truly evil?" the enraged old man said rhetorically. "It didn't fucking kill you after finishing off your whore of a mother and faggot of a father."

"And I wish everyday that the Nine Tails would have killed you instead, but we don't all get what we want," Naruto said before turning on his heels and marching away.

"Ha," the old man barked in cruel laughter. "You don't even have what it takes to be a real Shinobi you fake wanna-be. A Shinobi has to do the mission no matter what it takes."

Naruto turned around in an instant with a cruel smirk of his own and pointing at him, "If being like you is what it takes to be a real Shinobi, then I never want to be a real Shinobi."

At the old man's silence, Naruto walked away from the situation with his chin held high. He didn't need to put with this bullshit and refused to take it. He didn't care what every one of his superiors and the ninja rulebook said about abandoning a mission. Naruto would sooner be demoted than work for his abusive foster parent that sought his enjoyment from being one the devils in the hell that characterized Naruto's childhood. Naruto should have known better to bring bad luck by talking about his childhood with his off-the-cuff reference to a soup kitchen.

"Uzumaki-San! Uzumaki-San!" Yuhi-sensei said, but Naruto refused to turn. "Uzumaki-San! I demand that you turn face."

Naruto continued to walk away regardless, until he felt a feminine hand on his shoulder. Turning around to the silent feeling, Naruto saw Yuhi-sensei, but she never moved from her original location. He frowned at the feeling. Didn't Asuma always brag about her prowess with genjutsu like the rest of her clan?

Naruto resisted palming his face at the obvious genjutsu, but he noticed the old man acting strangely by not yelling and shouting at Naruto. He looked over at Yuhi-sensei with a raised eyebrow.

"Doing whatever it takes to finish a mission has many different interpretations depending on the situation," Yuhi-sensei said.

Nodding his head, Naruto didn't block the calming waves she sent through his body. He didn't even resist the highly suggestive thoughts and feelings that she sent to his head and accepted Yuhi-sensei's plan to finish the mission.

"No one will be writing anything but a regular report, and I will not be having a mission scratch hold me back from raising the ranks, Uzumaki-San," she said with finality.

"Hai, Yuhi-sensei," Naruto said with a detached feeling to the whole matter.

He couldn't remember why he acted so silly and disgraceful earlier. He should have acted better and not fall to the level of someone acting poorly. He should apologize to his teammates and sensei before acting appropriately and finishing the mission according to his sensei' every direction.

Blinking numbly, Naruto followed the instructions floating through his head and went about following the orders without even knowing what the mission truly involved. After the haze in his head passed, he found himself in a random apartment with Kurenai rubbing a finger down his uncovered chest. He felt the genjutsu running through his chakra system sending electrical sensations throughout his body.


	38. Plus One

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER TWELVE: NEW AND OLD

PLUS ONE

* * *

AN: WARNING: Intended for mature audiences only and contains scenes of a sexual nature of dubious consent. Reader discretion advised.

* * *

"So," Kurenai said seductively. "Do you consent?"

Naruto blinked uncertainly, "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Kurenai said looking Naruto in the eyes.

"Hai, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto said without hesitation despite not having a clue as to what she previously said. When a hot woman who practically mind controlled him and had him take off his shirt in her apartment asked him for consent, there could only be so many options that all ended in different methods of sex.

Under mild suggestion, Naruto kept his arms to his side as Kurenai traced his chest down his visible abdominal muscles to his belt buckle. With new foreign thoughts running through his mind, he moved his arms to carefully and precisely unwrap and remove her dress that looked like a series of bandages wrapped around her thin body in the most needlessly convoluted ways.

While still feeling a little out of his head, Naruto didn't really care about the more than suggestive signals he received through her genjutsu techniques. He did have to say that she could improve her techniques because they obviously came from a foreign source rather than his own internal voice. The voice didn't have the same mannerisms and tone that he normally associated with his thoughts.

Partially removing the dress turned it into an open robe that revealed her dark red bra and panties that: highlighted her pale skin, contrasted her black hair and matched her eyes. While orange remained his favorite color for him, he preferred dark red on woman. Unfortunately, not enough redheads resided in Leaf for Naruto's taste, but instead the village drowned out by brunettes.

Unzipping his pants with her delicate and long fingers with a dark red nail polish, she cupped his growing bulge. Slowly, they brought their faces together to kiss over the lips. As their kiss heated up, she grew bolder with her hand, and he pushed her dress off her shoulders causing it to pool against her bare feet.

Breaking apart to share their low pants for air, she backed away taking her hands away and seductively walked with a skip in her step down the apartment and through a door on the right. Following her, he got the thought to remove his pants on the way and followed it without question. He liked the trail of clothes cliché in his ever-growing collection of Icha Icha books from the almighty Jiraiya-sama.

Entering the room, he saw Kurenai lying on her dark red comforter that looked like it came straight from a brothel. Keeping his ideas to himself, Naruto crawled up the bed on his hands and knees to reach her position all the way at the top before she brought her leg up and stuck her foot on his forehead and pushed it down. Getting the physical hint and loving her very assertive personality, he bowed his head down low while spreading her legs further.

He pulled her dark red panties down her alabaster legs and threw them to the side of the room staring at her inner warmth. Leaning back in, he sniffed from the bottom to the top. Although the smell didn't do anything for him, he exploited his natural animal magnetism stemming from his whiskered cheeks.

Placing his chin against the comforter and waving his boxers-clad ass in the air like a dog before jumping a bone, he looked up: past her privates, up her bra-covered BB breasts and into her alluring eyes. He normally scoffed at fellow Root members who claimed that anything other than a girl's ass or breasts as their best features, but Naruto had to admit he had been wrong because Kurenai's eyes literally hypnotized him with or without genjutsu. After all, the best genjutsu techniques-like lies-had a connection to the truth no matter how stretched.

"Itadakimasu," Naruto said cheerfully before rushing his mouth to her inner opening and running his tongue all around her folds avoiding immediate penetration.

Like a good bowl of ramen, the meal had to properly enjoyed through patience and devotion to the details of the sensations. Instead of taste though, Naruto would be focusing on the equally delicious noises of pleasure emitting from those beautiful dark red lips. He could tell from experience that this lady held back her moans, but Naruto loved a challenge. Furthermore, this would be his first time to actually have sex, even if oral only, with a Chunin, so he wouldn't be rushing anything.

He had long matured sexually past the point of just mindlessly getting his nut off as soon and as much as possible. Every boy could offer that. Nonetheless, he liked to think his impressive package and experience differentiated him from his competitors of the male species. Thus, Naruto dedicated himself to gifting the most pleasure for as long as possible to his female partners. It required no small amount of self-restraint, but Naruto found the long-term rewards paid ten times over.

Naruto quickly received a reputation as a more than generous lover, which in turn opened the oysters up quicker and rewarded him with lovers that had passions to share. Furthermore, women became more generous based on how generous Naruto made himself in the bedroom resulting in a healthy serving of his public fetish for receiving oral. He should probably not be thinking about how that one green haired chick blew him one late night on a busy park bench after getting some ice cream at the local twenty-four hour convenience store.

The hands tangled in his unruly golden locks pushed him slightly against her pelvis. Taking the hint, Naruto swirled his tongue a few times around the opening before suddenly jabbing his tongue at her clitoris. Naruto soaked in her delicious gasp of air that he stole from her mouth. He started sucking on the part of the female body that he affectionately referred to as the 'orgasm button'.

Done abusing the button for now, his tongue started to trace patterns through her insides. Naruto particularly liked tracing his own full name in kanji with his tongue followed by his catch for the night's name. Later, he would just starting tracing whatever word or phrase crossed his mind with a fetish for 'little death' before he would bring the lucky girl to orgasm by abusing her button.

A hand brushed across his boxer-clad rear still in the air catching Naruto by surprise. Rearing his head up, he looked backwards to see a woman in a fish-net body suit that didn't leave anything to the imagination with a purple pineapple for a hairdo that reminded him of Shikamaru. She gave a Cheshire grin before Naruto felt Kurenai's hands tugging him back down and a genjutsu racing through his chakra streams suggesting him to get back to work and let the new arrival pleasure him.

Naruto followed the advice. The only original thoughts racing through his mind all connected to the idea of having his first threesome. The tent in his already tight boxers could only get so hard.

"A new toy, Kurenai-chan," the strange but equally welcome lady said. "It's been so long. And a hunk too."

"You know how I like them, Anko-chan" Kurenai gasped.

"Full of muscle and empty in the head?" this Anko suggested. Naruto couldn't even care about the insult. She could say whatever she wanted about him, so long as this threesome occurred.

Kurenai gasped out even louder in response to Naruto moving his tongue rapidly around in a whirlpool in his classic mark.

"Hmmm," Anko thought as she continued to rub her hands all over his body that wasn't pressed against the dark red comforter. "Blonde too. I thought you like brunettes with beards."

"Anko-chan," Kurenai weakly chastised as Naruto sped up his whirlpool technique.

Anko laughed heartily, "Just teasing, Kurenai-chan. Now let's have our fun. Oh, wait, I forgot about our new rule. How silly of me. Did he consent?"

"Huh?" Kurenai said in confusion as Naruto started finishing up his accelerating technique. "Oh, yeah, yes. Yes. He said. Yes. Yes. Yes! More! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Kurenai grasped Naruto's hair and pushed down as she began uncontrollably bucking her hips. Naruto would normally hold them down to not have their knees squeeze his head like a watermelon, but the other girl currently had his arms pulled back for some reason. When Kurenai released her death hold with her knees, Naruto gasped for air as her juices dripped down his lips and his chin.

Meanwhile, Anko had shimmied Naruto out of his last remaining vestments and rubbed his muscles up and down his back and thighs. Regaining her senses, Kurenai slid underneath Naruto to play with his neglected member. Anko didn't move from her spot as she started to aggressively squeeze and separate his cheeks. As Yuhi-sensei guided him to her warm mouth, Anko started rubbing up and down his most private part and his perineum.

Naruto didn't mind trying new things in bed, and there would be many new positions with two girls instead of one. He, however, didn't by any stretch of the imagination like where Anko planned on taking things. His worries tripled as he felt some soft yet scaly animal coil itself up one of his legs. Kurenai stopped her movements but quickly returned as a soothing and calming sensation drugged his body.

Unfortunately, it didn't work enough because he now felt three coiling movements up his legs. Anko started to describe her children of all things that made absolutely no sense as proper conversation in bed, but when she started describing how each one had a different bite, Naruto got the feeling that he wasn't even on the same chapter as this Anko lady. She answered his unspoken questions as he yelped in surprise when two distinct fangs punctured his skin around his upper thigh.

"Aphrodisiac," Anko said in his ear. "I want you to feel every last sensation to the maximum of human enjoyment and then a little more."

Another set of fangs pressed through his skin as Anko leaned back down to lick up the snakebite and some of his blood. Naruto couldn't help to think that he should have asked Kurenai to explain what he consented to in the doorway.

"Temporary muscle relaxant for what I have planned ahead," Anko said as she moved to the newest set of wounds in Naruto's buttock this time.

Naruto tried to find the humor that this random lady literally kissed his ass, but he couldn't ignore his body reacting according to the venoms racing through his veins to beat of his increasing heart rate. Either way, his body had a superb immune system discovered by the doctors introducing him to his first regime of antibodies for common poisons and toxins like every other aspiring ninja.

"Trust me," Anko said as she massaged his back and grasped his balls and rolled them in her hands while Kurenai continued to suck him up and down his shaft.

Unable to say no in such a situation, Naruto vigorously nodded his head as sweat started to percolate on his forehead.

"Good," she said stretching the word out.

The third snake slithered up his crack and started to rub himself around his sphincter. Naruto whimpered at the sensations rushing through his body both new and old. Shifting his focus to Kurenai's skilled mouth, he couldn't completely ignore the snake edging itself inside him slowly. Naruto felt tears accumulate in his eyes from the pressure applied by squeezing them shut.

A flash of white crossed his starry vision as his eyes opened as wide as his mouth. A shout that transformed into a long moan ripped from the bottom of his chest. Naruto lost control of his upper body and collapsed his head against the red comforter and between Kurenai's legs leaving his ass in the air for Kurenai to have room to suck.

"Looks like she found it," Anko said gleefully. "The male G-spot, known as the prostate."

Naruto didn't make a comment as his opened mouth drooled out the side with his tongue hanging out like a dog in heat. The powerful sensation that completely overwhelmed his body rendered him senseless and the continued motions by Kurenai furthered his state of euphoria. He couldn't even warn her about his upcoming release.

The snake pressed against the magical spot inside him that only one other girl attempted to press during one exploratory oral session. Anko grabbed Naruto by the hair and got in front of his face with a devious grin.

"You like that?" she asked.

"Yes!" Naruto moaned when the snake hit it again.

"Good," Anko said stretching the word out again. "Now do everything I say."

Naruto complied with the best of his remaining senses.

* * *

Sloppy noises of flesh on flesh resounded throughout the apartment bedroom. Naruto mindlessly thrust himself into one of the two women as the other licked his member or the other's clitoris. Somewhere in their hedonistic pleasure, one of the girls snapped something in Naruto's brain. The pleasure brought by Anko and her snakes mixed with Kurenai's actions knocked him unconscious through sensory overload on his prostate, phallus, balls, nipples and all of his sensitive spots.

When he awakened the next second, he lost all control and turned into a beast seeking his own pleasure. He hated being an ungenerous lover, but he couldn't help it with his new state of mind and the genjutsu still running through his chakra pathways. At this point in their activities, neither of the two girls cared too much because they were lost in their own carnal desires.

Judging from the sounds slipping through the woman's uninhibited mouth from their doggy-style position, she didn't care too much about Naruto's change. Then again, Anko didn't mind blood play judging from all of the times she licked his quickly healing wounds resulting from the endless snakebites to compensate for his unnatural healing abilities.

He felt the coil building in his stomach, but something felt off. He felt too good. Naruto didn't know what with his brain only working at the bare minimum, but something should have been somewhere. He didn't know what. Pulling all the way out, he noticed the distinct lack of plastic wrapped around him.

He started to freak out until the girl pushed back against his member noticing its absence. Unable to restrain himself, he submitted to the blackness clouding his vision and thoughts. Thrusting in faster than ever, he released his seed uncontrollably inside of her. Unable to handle the sensations and thoughts in his body and head, he rolled off to the side with his chest heaving up and down.

The girl underneath both of them started sucking his deflating staff back into life and started riding him. Hopefully, they would take care of the matters afterwards because he could only let himself be used by the two relentless girls. Even when he couldn't do anything, they would start pleasuring themselves in front of him which, without fail, got him worked up to join in on the pleasure.

For instance, the other girl started hovering above him fingered herself to an orgasm that spewed over Naruto's face as the other continued to ride him. Afterwards, she got up and went to the kitchen with an assortment of edible goods like honey and whip cream to trace over him. He lost awareness at the point that both of them started the lick up the edibles and bodily fluids covering his muscular body.

The next lucid thought arrived as he stood underneath a hot shower with both girls on their knees in the tub licking up and down his shaft and balls. He could only moan at the sight and sensation with his hands gently massaging both of their heads. Quickly, he nutted for the millionth time on both of their faces, and they started exchanging his seed between their lips. The erotic sight before him had him slumping into the tub watching his cum wash down their faces due to the spray of shower no longer being impeded by his back.

* * *

A distinct smell wafted through his nose. Naruto groggily opened his eyes to see a piece of bacon being waved underneath his nose. Instead of seeing Anko or Kurenai, one of the pledges from the incoming class smiled at him before placing the plate of food on Naruto's uncovered chest. Looking around, he found the similar surroundings of his room in the Root complex along with a few other characters.

His pledge class vice-captain announced far too loudly, "I knew the bacon trick would work."

Naruto opened his mouth to talk but only weak groans emitted from his abused vocal cords. Accepting the cold glass of water that the pledge offered, Naruto swallowed it steadily in bliss. Anko and Kurenai had used his lips, tongue, mouth and vocal cords in every imaginable way and more just like the rest of his body. He felt thoroughly tired and used from their last night's activities that he couldn't even shift in his bed without it being a struggle.

While he continued to chug the water as fast as he could, his big brother now a junior announced in his medical drone reserved for patients and Naruto's idiocy, "We discovered you early this morning in the courtyard in your birthday suit unconscious. Upon further investigation, I and fellow medic ninja in training at Root getting ready for early morning medical rounds at the hospital discovered you to be affected by an arsenal of venoms administered by snake bites along with an extremely potent genjutsu affecting almost every part of your nervous system.

"After removing the venom and the genjutsus, we then ran another diagnostic without the heavy interference from the genjutsu and snake venom. You suffered from extreme exhaustion and hypersensitivity. Furthermore, you exhibited certain irregularities in your chakra system and body. After an hour of amateur treatment, your body returned to normal and healthy parameters to allow the body to heal itself through rest and restoring proper nutrients."

Naruto blinked through the haze of his vision at his big brother. He should know better than to show off with his long-winded answers through their hours of combined practice honing Naruto's chakra control. Opening his mouth to accept the piece of bacon from the pledge's hand, Naruto closed his eyes in bliss and having solid food for the first time since lunch yesterday.

He sent his senses throughout his body to get a better understanding of Kabuto's diagnosis. Basically, every muscle suffered soreness, especially his rear. The lack of aphrodisiac in his system allowed Naruto for the first time since Anko to use his senses rather than have his senses bombard him with sensations, albeit very pleasurable sensations.

"Judging by the damage done to your rectum and anal passage, we have to ask if you would like to file any charges with the Military Police?" his big brother said in his usual deadpan.

Naruto choked on the bacon in his throat at the nature of the question and the horrible timing of it, "No! And don't stay stuff like that Otouto."

The sarcastic smile and slight chuckle from his big brother told Naruto everything he needed to know about the real purpose of the question. His vice-captain on the other hand broke into hysterics, and the pledge did his best not to laugh.

"Well," his big brother said. "We'll have some pledges come up regularly with food and drinks to get you back to normal. Knowing your body, you should up and at it in no time. Now get some rest, and I'd like to suggest that you give little Naruto some time to rest as well."

His vice-captain kept on cackling, while the pledge turned around to put the plate of bacon on the nightstand. Soon enough, the three of them left. Quickly thereafter, Naruto passed out to the blissful recollections of everything that happened last night.


	39. Yagura's Ascension

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: CIVIL WAR IN MIST

YAGURA'S ASCENSION

* * *

Yagura stared over the field in front of him with a light mist blowing across the clearing. Broken and distorted corpses littered the field drenching it in their blood with some of their comrades still remaining alive. His latest barrage with the help of the few fellow ninja in his sector proved successful against the latest wave of usurpers that charged the Village Hidden in the Mist. Due to a perceived weakness from the foolhardy Kaguya attack, the Demon of the Mist, Zabuza Momichi, rallied the traitorous filth that sought to displace the current Mizukage, his father and master.

In recent months, especially after the Kaguya fight, weak-willed cowards in the ranks of Mist fled in droves to become missing-nin fighting as mercenaries on the continent or joining the Demon's movement. After failing his assassination attempt, Zabuza fled, but the damage had been done. Hiding like a coward, the head of the Momichi clan recruited fellow traitors and power-hungry clans that sought to dispose their rival clans and horde more power for themselves.

Done licking his wounds, Zabuza attacked en masse with his cohorts against the village itself. Currently, Yagura defended his sector outside of the village to make the most of his area-of-effect water ninjutsu abilities granted by the Three Tailed Demon Turtle that resided in his body. His father had acquired the Demon after the idiot plan, hatched by the previous Mizukage to get rid of the Three Tailed Demon Turtle and annihilate the Village Hidden in the Leaves in one fell-swoop, failed miserably.

Disgusted by the continued existence of these traitorous vermin, he spun his custom-crafted flower staff in the appropriate movements he learned by himself and moved the demonic chakra through his body. Reaching the pinnacle of his maneuver, he slammed his staff against the ground and yelled, "Water Release: Floral Burst!"

High-pressure geysers exploded from the ground like flowers bursting open to release their pollen. The traitors tired from their previous engagement moved out of the way, but many of their worthless lives finally came to an end. As the survivors descended, his two relatively rested TIDE squads assigned to him by his father rushed forward in flashes of steel and ninjutsu releases.

Wanting to satiate the passive blood thirst of his prisoner and for his own enjoyment, Yagura dashed forward as well with his staff ready to crush the opposition. Cutting through the stragglers, he engaged in combat with the head of this wave of attackers from one of the bloodline clans that sided with the usurper. Many bloodline clans including every founding clan remained loyal to the Mizukage, but the lines of who remained loyal and who turned traitor depended mostly on the multitude of rivalries that existed between the bloodline clans since the founding of Mist.

In reality, Zabuza simply brought the issue to a head just like he did when he slaughtered his whole entire class. In that regard, Yagura would like to thank the fool for cleaning the ranks of disloyal ninja and cowards alike that fouled and corrupted the ranks of Mist. In his opinion, these unworthy ninjas held all the responsibility for Mist's failure in the previous war because they couldn't make the hard decisions necessary to mold Mist into the strongest power in the Elemental Nations. They had the potential, but the autonomy of the clans weakened the resolve of Mist to act as one village like the other villages with the exception of Earth. Then again, Earth did everything different due to their inferior blood and upbringing.

The traitor's clan techniques paled in comparison to Yagura's abilities granted to him by the demon within him. Swatting the techniques away like flies, he quickly overpowered the champion of their clan and ended his pitiful existence that weighed Mist down like an anchor.

Finished with his sector, Yagura signaled to his two squads to return the village and help cleanup the streets of the filth that managed to make its way through the defenses. Unfortunately, too many ninja had turned coat or simply deserted the Mizukage, and they could not maintain a proper defense. Nonetheless, the loyal ninja could repel the attack and bring an end to this madness.

Rushing back, the ninja ran over the damaged aqueducts that crisscrossed the multi-leveled city killing any traitors wearing their telltale grey cloth that distinguished themselves from the loyal Mist ninja. Yagura frowned. They shouldn't have penetrated this far in the city without meeting greater levels of resistance.

Passing the first outer ring of the city, Yagura signaled his two squads to halt. A sizeable force of ninja in dilapidated uniforms moved forward in jerky motions not befitting any ninja – even a filthy tratior. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that a few of the ninja wore outdated uniforms with some dating back further than Yagura could even remember. Sneaking up on their position, Yagura saw more and more striking features. They looked like the walking dead with some having rotting flesh showing their bones and some had coral and barnacles associated with veteran boats.

Yagura did not know what foul technique raised these ninja from their resting places, but he would not stand for such great disrespect against Mist. Clearly, a move orchestrated by Zabuza and his lackey's in their desperation. They would sink this great village to the depths just to rule over the flooded ruins.

He waited as the shambling mass moved forward in a mockery of basic ninja training. What purpose could these foul beings possess other than a pitiful attempt to scare the younger and more superstitious lot of ninja that came out of the revolutionized ninja academy from Zabuza's slaughter. Once they reached his hidden location, he tugged the demonic chakra inside him and materialized it as coral, the flowers of the sea.

The sharp coral bloomed from his hands on the ground that grew at an explosive rate. The coral trapped their feet painfully and grew up their legs puncturing their rotting skin all the way up. Yagura noted that the corpses clearly didn't feel pain like the other victims of Yagura's specific ninjutsu techniques.

Not bothered by the lack of screams, Yagura powered more demonic chakra through his system to encase the dead Mist ninja in coral. Once satisfied with the results, he activated the last bloom with the coral exploding inwards. Spreading his hands out quickly in a cutting motion, the coral exploded into raining shards leaving only rotten body parts covered in coral. He moved forward with his squads further into the city.

Past the second outer ring, Yagura heard familiar explosions sending clouds of dust up into the sky from the streets on the lower level of the multi-tiered city. He diverted himself to the sounds. While no plan survived contact with the enemy, the loyalist faction had been pushed far too back in the city despite Yagura cleaning the outskirts of the city of both incoming pretenders and the undead. Some of the undead had a living rebel amongst their ranks that improved the undead's performance threefold, but it posed no threat to him and his eight TIDE members. Yagura washed away all enemies of the one true Mizukage.

Giving the symbol for friendly, Yagura and his followers dropped into the street to come face to face with his best friend, Utakata, and his two TIDE squads. Looking around, Yagura took note of the devastated surroundings and the bloody remains of the usurpers. Nodding in contentment, Yagura turned around to see his best friend messing with his legendary pipe that allowed him to master his bubble techniques provided by the Six Tailed Demon Slug.

Together they made up the two Power of Human Sacrifices of Mist. After the death of the previous Mizukage in the last Great War and his terrible decision making that caused Mist to lose both of their demon hosts needlessly, the new Mizukage, his father, ordered the demons be placed into two new containers, his own son and the son of one of the founding clans of Mist that had a newborn child. Growing up, they rose through the new ninja academy and the reformed ranks of the Village Hidden in the Mist together.

As hosts to demonic creatures that threatened the existence of entire cities and the hidden village itself throughout history, both of them had a tremendous burden within them, but they triumphed together. Furthermore, his father commissioned the legendary weapon crafters of Mist to develop weapons specifically for the Three Tailed Demon Turtle and the Six Tailed Demon Slug. While initially considered a tremendous waste of resources and talent, the weapon crafters took up the task as a test of their abilities. After all, what weapon could humans create that could be used by powerful demons?

In the end, Yagura received his Flower Staff, and Utakata received his Bubble Pipe. The village, like always, ridiculed Yagura and Utakata in their achievements. Granted, it didn't help that Yagura's techniques revolved around growing flowers, and Utakata's techniques revolved around blowing bubbles. Nonetheless, a ninja played with the hand they had and not the hand they wanted.

Yagura firmly believed that the reason why previous Powers of Human Sacrifices had been largely unsuccessful in Mist originated from the way the human hosts manifested their demonic powers. No one expected that large beings that could drown cities in the waves or boil them in acid did so through flowers and bubbles. As a ninja, however, even the most innocent of objects can prove fatal. Yagura and Utakata simply took it to the next step.

"Good to see you again, nii-san," Yagura stated

"You as well, nii-san," Utakata replied. "Something is amiss. Zabuza should not have breached our defenses so easily."

"Agreed," Yagura answered. "They have evoked the help from a foreigner that dabbles into necromantic techniques. The cowards send the dead heroes of Mist as fodder to tear down our defenses and strike our exhausted defenders."

"You have seen this?" Utakata asked.

Yagura shook his head, "No, but it is the only logical conclusion. I have fought the dead myself, and they pose no true threat to a prepared ninja."

"Still," Utakata said. "Something else is amiss other than the undead. There is a chill in the air that not even the traitorous Yuki clan could be responsible for, nii-san."

"Hmm," Yagura pondered. He hadn't personally felt any chill, but the demon slug inside of him granted Utakata sensitivity to his surroundings much the opposite of Yagura's demon turtle. "We must get to the bottom of this. Let us go to the inner city. We cannot afford for Zabuza or his tainted dead defile this city any longer."

* * *

The Mizukage stood defiantly surrounded by Zabuza and his treacherous ilk. The fool had sought aid from foreigners that wished to watch Mist sink itself like a mutinous ship. He would go so far as to dishonor the dead in his lust for power. Individuals like Zabuza reminded him far too much of the slimy worm of the previous Mizukage that tarnished the reputation of Mist for generations.

His famous Four Pearls technique ravaged through the ranks of the usurpers, but Zabuza saw nothing wrong with sacrificing his tools so that he could wear a fancy hat. Ninjas traditionally viewed themselves as nothing more than fancy kunai in the hands of their kage. Zabuza considered himself as such in his life and viewed his subordinates as such. Somewhere along the way, however, Zabuza viewed himself as outside the cycle and attempted to assassinate him.

He would not watch Mist drown in the sea of its own failures. He could rest easy in the afterlife after this battle ended in his death alongside Zabuza and his cabal. Already the bloodied corpses of his followers soaked the city with their foulness, but they continued relentlessly. From the reports he could gather, the undead bogged down the majority of his forces while the living usurpers struck a hole in the defenses to flank the defenders or continue onwards.

Too many good men and women of Mist died in this disgusting charade for one man's lust for power. With that in mind, he summoned all of the pearls in his repertoire of techniques to defend him as he prepared his suicide technique. He sent out one last silent regret that he couldn't watch his village and his child grow up under his proper guidance, but he had done his part. He reserved the next chapter for the next generation that he knew he could trust.

Zabuza and his cohorts taunted him, but he would not relent. Ironically, he felt like he learned more from his son and his best friend than he taught them. In spite of all the ridicule and disparaging remarks, his son and best friend continued forward despite the stigma associated with Powers of Human Sacrifice. If they could handle their whole life like that, he could handle them throwing his name in the mud despite the utter hypocrisy.

From inside his shell of pearls, the Mizukage bite his thumb and performed the Summoning technique. An unassuming small black clam appeared in a puff of smoke. With a small pearl-shaped tear running down his emotionless face, he stuck out his pointer finger glowing with blue chakra and cut the mollusk along the seam. Picking up the clam in both hands, he opened it up to see the pink meat with a giant pearl sac in the middle.

With two glowing fingers, he carefully plucked the pearl from the clam summon. Washing away the slime with a quick water release technique, he peered at the black pearl in the bioluminescent light of his Pearl Shelter technique. Taking a deep breath, he placed the black pearl into his mouth and swallowed it. He exploded the Pearl Shelter technique to look each of the traitorous and power hungry ninja in the eyes. He would willingly sacrifice his life to remove these barnacles that dragged down the ship of Mist just so they could be in power for a second of a sinking ship.

He had nothing to say to these betrayers and continued to focus his chakra and his life force into the black pearl inside him, but Zabuza felt the need, "We shall return Mist to its rightful place the right way according to tradition."

"Just because you felt the need to slaughter a bunch of children," the Mizukage retorted. "Doesn't mean everyone else must go through the bloody trials that we all went through."

"Your reliance on the demons shall avail Mist nothing," one of the clan leaders said. "Your predecessor had the right idea to get rid of the foul beasts that hid in their human shells. You look down on us as bloodthirsty savages, but you yourself sacrificed your only son's soul for power."

Another sounded off, "And then you let them play with flowers and bubbles."

"And bring dishonor to the legendary weapon makers of Mist with your foul commissions," someone else yelled in the half-circle.

"Enough," the Demon of the Mist circled, "You cannot reason with fools."

The Mizukage gave a snort of derision as the Demon himself entered combat in order to prove his stature before his allied clan heads. For a demon, he sure knew his politics. Luckily, the other clan heads moved a little closer to get a peek at the action. One could only see a kage fight in true form so often. Unfortunately for them, this kage had no intention of letting anyone leave this place alive.

"Pearl Release: The Black Pearl!" the Mizukage shouted.

The legendary Executioner Blade cut through the air in a horizontal motion to bisect him. With a small smile on his lips, the Mizukage contorted his body in just the right motion sensing the black pearl activating within him. The blade cut perfectly in honor of its wielder and its creator, until it reached the small black pearl residing in his body.

Blood dripped down the sides of his smile. The black pearl shattered against the force of the Executioner Blade releasing the dense and raw black chakra harnessed over centuries in the Pearl Banks where his summons resided. His additional chakra provided the catalyst for the black pearl to create an explosion similar to a Tailed Beast Ball. He simply needed to break the powerful membrane of the pearl that kept it under control in a natural state.

"The haft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes," the Mizukage coughed with blood running down the sides of his mouth.

Zabuza roared in fury as he continued his bisection. In the Mizukage's last thoughts, he welcomed the siren's call to enter the Throne of Water alongside the heroes of the Land of Water and the Hidden Village in the Mist while cursing the usurpers to the Abyssal Depths. Most importantly, he prayed that his son's future reign as Mizukage of this fractured village would be better than his failure as the Mizukage who had to sacrifice himself to end some petty rebels.

* * *

Yagura watched silently at the scene that he just arrived to with his companions. The Demon of the Mist just bisected his father and his kage. Yet, why did his father have a smile on his lips? What foul joke did he miss? He felt his control on his demon's passive bloodlust slipping and his mind descending into madness.

A hand clasped his trembling shoulder. Looking over, he saw Utakata looking ahead. Gaining control of his emotions, Yagura noticed the traitors attempting to flee the scene as his father had black beams of light emerging from his orifices and wounds. Soon, his whole body glowed black before exploding into a giant black pearl similar to a Tailed Beast Ball. Yagura watched in pleasure as none of the traitorous leaders of the coup escaped despite their best effort from the growing sphere of pure blackness that didn't even let the light escape.

The Black Pearl technique reached its apex before coming to a shuddering halt. The frontier of blackness moved back and forth for a few seconds before pulling back in a rush back to the center of the technique like a rubber band snapping. Everything in the sphere disappeared into a small black pearl that hovered in the air for a few moments before falling down into the ground. The black pearl's density landed into the crater's center causing the land to crack and lower even further.

Yagura rushed forward with tears down his cheeks. His father and the true Mizukage of the Village Hidden in the Mist died before his eyes. Reaching the bottom of the crater where once stood one of the busiest streets in Mist, Yagura kneeled down to the black pearl where his father and his last enemies remains existed. He tried to pick up the result of his father's ultimate technique but couldn't make it budge.

Frustrated with the failure, Yagura stood up and walked backwards looking down at the pearl. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to mourn his father's passing. The usurper's lackeys and their foul techniques continued to bring ruin to the village. He could not let this corruption seep any more into Mist's well. He would eradicate the pollution personally and with the aid of all true sons and daughters of Mist.

He looked up at the sky that seemed a little darker than usual. The temptation of being mired in revenge surged through him. He immediately dismissed the notions. Revenge or vengeance would not satisfy him. Carrying on his father's legacy of creating a first-rate Hidden Village not held back by the anchors of tradition would fulfill him, but first he needed to forcefully remove the anchors from Mist.

Tradition did not make a village strong. The people made the village strong, and the traditions made the people weak. Yagura had no need for weak people. From this day on, Mist would act as one with the full might of her people acting in concert and not in derision. His father naively thought that these dissenters and their ilk could see reason; instead, they tore Mist apart in their thirst. Yagura would assure that no one would domestically hold Mist back from its rightful place like a surgeon removing an infected limb to save the body.

"Our kage has been slain in battle," Yagura stated softly. "The greatest honor that a kage could perform for his village. Where was the honor in this? Slain in battle against usurpers. Usurpers that would have eaten themselves like sharks in their mother's womb. There is no honor in being slain by your own people, but victory wipes away dishonor.

"I shall wash this dishonor clean with the blood of the usurpers. Join me if you feel how I feel when you see these fools sinking Mist into the seas of their own greed. I shall make our kage's dreams of a united Mist, most treacherously slain by those too blinded by their own ego, into a reality. Follow me into the greatness promised on the next horizon and wipe away the corruption that besieges us."

Finishing his soft-spoken speech, he turned around without looking or waiting for recognition, not even for his best friend Utakata. Taking one last deep breath, he extended his senses through the water in the air to find the nearest source of conflict. Eradicating corruption required a personal touch that Yagura found all-too-pleasing to attend.


	40. The Search, The Find, The Catch

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: THE PANGS OF ENVY

THE SEARCH, THE FIND, THE CATCH

* * *

A Year Later

* * *

Naruto slammed his closed fist against the desk in his room in fury. The ink containers and other miscellaneous objects rattled ominously as he abruptly stood up from his chair. His face contorted into an ugly scowl, while he paced across the room twice. Yanking the door to the outdoor hallway open, he trudged down the outdoor stairwell heading towards the nearest open training ground.

While a vocal minority found emotions to be nothing more than a hindrance upon a ninja's performance, Naruto firmly believed that emotions represented a double-edged sword. To this extent, he always attempted to channel his energies into a more productive manifestation. On his own, he developed a series of chakra, physical and spiritual exercises into a near flawless routine that calmed his nerves.

Unfortunately, it would seem that it would be a late night. One of the interesting facets with training to be a professional ninja is that everything felt different when a different emotion coursed through one's veins. His chakra molded differently and not in a good way. His strikes lacked precision in exchange for pure brutality.

As a result, Naruto learned the importance of regulating one's emotions so as to avoid slipping into bad habits that might one day be the difference between victory and defeat. In other words, it would mean the difference between life and death. It nagged the back of his mind that something as a simple, yet complicated as an emotion has the potential to dictate something as important as the length of his life.

Naruto worked tirelessly to ensure that such a mistake would not happen and at least minimize the impact of acting like a human being. Like the majority of his training, it did not come natural to Naruto, for he was an emotional being. He felt an emotion and acted upon it. No one claimed that Naruto lacked in sincerity. They just claimed he was an idiot.

His old friend, envy, returned from the nether in force. As a child, Naruto always had jealousy as a constant companion. He would look longingly at other children in pain wishing that he could have what they had.

After meeting Mizuke, envy fled to her wretched chambers, as Naruto focused on himself and not on others for the first time. He focused on improving himself to become stronger in every measure possible. Naruto had the pleasure of knowing and admitting that it worked. He felt true confidence for the first time in his life, but someone has come along to ruin everything that he worked so hard to build.

A new threat that sought to topple the empire. His future teammate - Sasuke Uchiha.

While Naruto did not seek to transform into an image of Sasuke, he did notice some key attributes that Naruto desired. The worst part of Naruto's envy revealed when Naruto tried to diagnose the problem with his head rather than his fists that flew through the air to pound upon the training dummy. Naruto's problem, in the grand scheme of things, didn't even matter. It didn't even make sense to Naruto, yet he yearned for it so badly.

Many ninja functioned perfectly well without it. For instance, his role model, Jiraiya, and even Tsunade did not use them. It wasn't money, or fame, or fortune, or respect, or girls, or some particular skill or attribute. What he wanted wasn't even new to him. In fact, that represented the largest pain because he always wanted it from the beginning.

He yearned for a weapon.

He didn't even really care what type of weapon. His only real thought on the matter related to wanting the weapon to be pointy. Voicing his concerns to anyone who lent an ear to the matter, no one could properly answer it because no one ever had that problem to the extent that Naruto did, if at all. While the desire drove Naruto up the wall, everyone else shrugged at him. They paralleled his want for a weapon with a crush for a girl, and they would tell him that he would outgrow the need.

The problem that still haunted him a few weeks later started on the day that Sasuke walked into one their private training sessions with that brand new sword, a chokuto. Sasuke claimed that the Uchiha clan gifted him the freshly crafted sword for his latest birthday. Previously that year, Sasuke had been trying out the usual assortment of Uchiha weapons such as swords and unique gunbai.

Due to Sasuke's rare affinity for lightning that actually dominated over fire, he decided to go for a weapon particularly suited for his lightning affinity. To that end, Sasuke found that the chokuto fulfilled this purpose the best. Of course, the weapon exemplified perfection in craftsmanship and blacksmithing.

Naruto couldn't care less about the actual sword or about Sasuke. He just wanted his own weapon. When Naruto tried his hand at weapons for the first time since his disaster with Mizuke, he found that his clumsiness with weapons did not improve. In fact, he felt like it got worst.

While kunai and shuriken technically classify as weapons, Naruto wanted expertise in something else. Sasuke's older brother with the excessively deep tear-troughs told Naruto not to worry about a weapon but to focus on perfecting what could be done with shurikenjutsu and kunai. While Naruto felt nothing short of pure amazement at Sasuke's brother's prowess with shuriken and kunai, it didn't eliminate his desire for a weapon. Oddly enough, Sasuke grew very catty with him the during the following training sessions.

Nonetheless, Naruto's largest obstacle to weapons became the same problem that Naruto had with kunai and shuriken for the longest time. Weapons felt unnatural to him. All the trainers and teachers in Naruto's life always talked about making the weapon an extension of one's body. But no matter how often they said that, the lesson never worked for Naruto.

In classic Naruto fashion, he hamfisted his way to being decent with shuriken and kunai. Honestly, he became good enough with them as he needed for his own False Flying Thunder God Technique and to use the tools as a means of defense. There existed a large difference in skill between using weapons offensively and defensively, and Naruto found that defense worked best with him.

Naruto no longer had the delusion created by movies, shows and the such that he would magically pick up a weapon that would talk to him and feel like an extension of his body. He still liked to think that when he used a weapon it wouldn't immediately become a greater threat to him rather than the target.

Furthermore, his misplaced passion for using a weapon exasberated his increasingly complicated and convoluted schedule. His obsessive nature with sealing only grew with each passing day. The classes at school grew in intensity every semester with his continuing battle with chakra control, complicated taijutsu techniques, private wind lessons, and his miserable aptitude with genjutsu.

Despite what some of his more pleasant peers said, Naruto could not be described as a prodigy in the Sealing Arts. The only thing that separated him and his fellow peers in the Sealing Arts Club and Division existed in his unparalleled obsession, devotion and zealous hard work in the arts. As he continued to refine his form, expand his repertoire and revolutionize the practical applications of seals, his nights became smaller and smaller.

The strain on his body showed. His consumption of coffee and caffeine products skyrocketed. He lacked his normal energy and drive that existed in all of his affairs. Just the other day, he took a nap in the middle of class, and he didn't even notice falling asleep. His friends, peers and superiors told him to take it down a notch and get a good night's sleep, but the overpowering and overwhelming pressure from the tasks that he stubbornly continued would not end.

To stop would be to admit defeat, and he would not admit defeat. Restoring his resolve, Naruto wiped the sweat on his forehead with the gym towel and took large gulps of water from his bottle. He started to perform his breathing exercises after shutting his eyes closed.

Walking back to his dorm room in the Root complex, he planned out the rest of his night to involve a quick rub out, a shower, and another night wistfully dreaming of himself using a variety of different weapons in combat. As Naruto entered his room, a distinct smell invaded his senses. His slightly watery eyes noted the presence of around half-a-dozen of his pledge brothers laying around his room.

"What the hell are y'all doing here," Naruto asked in a conversational tone.

After taking a toke and releasing the smoke into the air, the richest member in the pledge class passed the joint, and said, "It's an intervention, man."

"What the fuck?" Naruto asked, perplexed at the word.

Another pledge brother noted, "It's usually reserved for alcoholics and addicts. But we are doing it for you because you are a workaholic, dude."

"A workaholic?" Naruto said in confusion once more.

"Ya know, like someone who works too much," another said.

"What the fuck?" Naruto repeated.

"Look," Josefu, the richest said, "We are here to help ya, brother. You need to learn to chill - to relax, man."

"Yeah," another said, "You only live once, man."

"What the fuck does that even mean?" Naruto asked with a little more heat than usual.

"Ignore that," Josefu said. "The point is: What is the day of the week?"

"Well, school's not open tomorrow, and I have a tutoring session with Asuma. I'm also going to research some more weapons. I think I have a date too, which I need to check up on come to think about it," Naruto rambled. "And then the day after, I believe I - look, just let me find my calendar."

"No one gives a shit, Naruto," Josefu remarked as he watched the joint go across the room. "The point is that you couldn't answer the question. Today is Friday. You need to take a break, dude, or you will just crash and burn. And we don't want to see anyone crash and burn, when we have the power to stop the madness."

"Hey!" Naruto tried to say in his defense before the joint was placed in front of his face.

"Chill," the joint-bearer said.

"Look," Naruto defended as his offended nostrils flared. "I don't care if you all smoke whatever, but I just don't want that."

Josefu said, "Trust me."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed, "Don't smoke this in here. The whole place will smell like weed."

"Afraid your new slampiece will find out," one of the pledge brother's said.

Another said, "It's that sensitive nose of his."

"All I'm saying is that it smells like a skunk sprayed all over the place," Naruto explained.

"Okay, okay," Josefu said starting to stand up, "We'll take it to Room 200, if you join us and smoke that joint."

Naruto debated the idea looking around the room as the smoke rose from the joint. Finally, he took a large breath, shrugged his shoulders and pressed the joint to his lips like a cigarette. Squeezing his eyes shut, he inhaled the joint into his mouth puffing it up like a chipmunk before swallowing it down his lungs. Coughing up the smoke, he partially doubled over, while he practically tossed the joint to the next guy.

"No, no, no," Josefu tutored. "That was the worst first attempt at smoking a joint I have ever seen. Give it back to him. He couldn't even get a second-hand high from that."

Naruto stared at the joint placed in his hand expecting for some out-of-body experience to rush through him. Not catching one, he looked around for answers. He didn't really anticipate there to be a process and procedure to smoking a joint.

"Have you ever smoked a cigarette?" Josefu questioned.

Naruto shrugged, "I've taken a puff once or twice."

After giving a nod that turned into a series of head bobs, Josefu responded, "Okay. Well. Listen carefully, my young student as I teach you the enlightened ways of smoking a joint. First, think of a vacuum. Now, suck it in with all your might, and don't stop until you can't take it anymore. Only then will you let go."

Blinking a few times, Naruto followed the instructions and placed the joint to his lips. Like a vacuum, he inhaled. The smoke burned through his throat and his lungs, but he kept up the pressure. Naruto would never allow himself to appear weak.

The group chuckled, as they got up from around Naruto's room. They made an exodus to the storage room where a series of couches, chairs and a movie projector and screen had been placed as an impromptu movie theater. Naruto's surroundings didn't change in a weird series of hallucinations that Naruto believed it would. Instead, he felt a little light-headed. Sinking into the nearest couch, his eyes roamed the room and the people inside it without moving his head.

One of the pledge class fixed the projector and explained, "This dude from Lightning describes the cosmos and everything. Best show to watch while high, I promise."

"Oh yeah, I've heard about that. It's crazy, I heard." another pledge brother said.

Naruto's eyes felt restless and dry as he looked across the room continuously. Noticing the joint in front of his face again, Naruto went after it. This feeling felt so completely different. While not quite out-of-body so to speak, he felt a little lighter; as if he hovered above his body and witnessed everything in third person above his head.

Taking the joint, Naruto made another large inhale. It really did take the edge off from the thoughts that earlier swarmed his head. After being reminded to pass it to the next pledge class member, he started noticing the weight of his clothing, his sweat and even the lack of his ability to think as quickly.

When the show ended illuminating the cosmos for Naruto, a few joints had been passed and extinguished. The group lay in silence and awe and the information and beautiful imagery used to depict the known universe through the highest-grade telescopes.

"Still haven't found your magic weapon to come whisk you away on a sea of glory, yet huh?" another asked without any contention.

Rolling his loose neck over to face the guy, he blinked a few times before answering succinctly, "Nope."

"You know, Naruto," Josefu said. "I might have the answer to your search."

"Ha!" Naruto barked far louder than he intended. "And what would that be, Josefu?"

"The answer to all your questions," Josefu said pulling out a bag filled with purple colored breath strips.

Naruto's hesitancy kicked in similar to his resistance towards the marijuana out of habit. He couldn't smell anything specifically strange from it although his senses seemed to be dulled to a mute.

"Those must be some strong breath strips then," Naruto remarked with a chuckle that ended up into a coughing laugh that he couldn't seem to stop. Reeling his head back, he started laughing uproariously at something that could best be described as a light joke that didn't even merit laughter in the first place, yet here he sat gasping for air.

Soon, everyone started to laugh joyously, as Josefu shook his head in mirth, "Maybe we can just have half."

Regaining his composure as best as he could, Naruto wiped the tears in his eyes away, "Sure thing, bro."

Josefu gave a small smile before passing the bag around filled with the purple breath strips. Everyone pulled one out and held it in a finger carefully before returning to Josefu. Before he could give the go ahead, Naruto decided to crack another joke, "It's a good thing we have these breath mints because it probably smells like skunk in here."

Josefu just smiled once more at Naruto's antics, "Sure thing, Naruto. Here's how we do it. Stick out your tongue and gently place the strip on your tongue. Then, just let it dissolve."

Naruto felt the pressure of the breath strip against his tongue in a numb sensation as his eyes roamed across the room trying to discern everyone else's reactions. After a while, everyone started to look around smiling like fools.

Nothing particularly strange occurred. Sometimes it looked like the walls constantly moved. No. It felt more like the paint on the walls moved in a constant motion like water running down a river. The off-white sheetrock continued to move like an organic being that could not stop. Naruto found himself staring at the wall in a mesmerized state.

He felt a presence against his shoulder and turned to look at the guy next to him on the couch.

"You can put your tongue back into your mouth," the guy said.

Naruto just stared at his face that did not contort. It took him a while to acknowledge what the fellow said and then react based on his words. Furthermore, the words themselves felt very pronounced and slow as if talking to a newborn.

Slowly turning his head back to the wall, Naruto continued to stare. Some people got up and started trying to get the projector working again to watch some nature documentary. The screen filled with black and white static, while the rest of the room moved organically.

Naruto felt his chest pumping up and down as he continued to stare endlessly as the static begin to escape the movie screen projector. Furthermore, deep cracks emerged from the off-white sheetrock like a rundown apartment. Pure black water trickled down the wounds in the wall like blood.

The black static infected the air itself and consumed all in its path leaving only ceaseless white lights that flashed endlessly like stars in the sky during a new moon. The black blood of the wall oozed melting the sheetrock and revealing pale yellow stone. At the same time, the walls ceaselessly expanded in all dimensions.

The room itself began to expand in all three dimensions as the static grew in a whirlpool fashion. Soon, the room stopped its growth with the pale yellow stone forming the walls, the roof and the floor. The black ooze slid down the walls and dripped from the sealings on to the floor turning into standing water that slowly trickled outside what used to be the only door into Room 200.

The black and white static formed a giant rectangle in the middle of the wall Naruto faced before receding into the wall. In its place, the wall left a series of large iron bars that reached from the floor to the ceiling. Reddish water flowed in chaos behind the bars that turned increasingly translucent as the water ebbed naturally out of the bars clearing the black ooze.

Throughout the whole ordeal, Naruto's head and eyes stared in awe at all possible vantage points as his breath became increasingly rapid. Naruto now stared at his sandaled feet and the pale yellow stone as the water ever-so casually lapped at his feet like a koi pond river stream. Restoring a facade of calm, Naruto's breath rate and heart rate lowered to quasi-normal levels

Despite having a parched throat, Naruto dared not drink the water. For the first time, Naruto noticed the intricate seals that bordered the edges of the portal to the red water. Furthermore, the bars seemed to meet in the middle with a large faded parchment and some illegible kanji.

Naruto noticed to his extreme fright that the bars actually rested on a henge that could open all the way out like a set of double doors. He could only pray that he belonged outside the cage and not inside the cage.

"That was one helluva breath strip," Naruto announced in awe at the whole ordeal.

The red water behind the bars started to boil viciously. The increasingly redder water grew in viscosity resembling that of congealed blood that continued to grow like a bubble bath out of control. The blood-like water pounded against the bars against an invisible wall.

"Oh no, why did I have to open my big ass mouth," Naruto whined.

The imprisoned room started to swirled chaotically as the waves of blood splashed ruthlessly against the walls in an imitation of ocean waves crashing against a sea wall. The darker and darker water continued to build up with geysers and sprays of water reaching almost to the tall roof of the whole chamber clad in pale yellow stone.

Reaching past the top of the seal, the water continued to build up as if in a glass cube prism. Eventually, the water stopped rising and began condensing. Shrinking into itself, the boiling blood continued to take shape. For the first time, Naruto truly appreciated the size of the imprisoned chamber as the water continued to form itself all the way from the front of the bars to the back.

First, needlessly long ears that continued to boil formed. Next, the general contour of the surprisingly thin figure structured into a thin and long dog-like creature. The extremities of a face and legs separated from the massive blob of boiling red water.

As the facial features of glowing eyes and black lips framed the face, tails began sprouting from the back and waving restlessly. The red water calmed from a boil to a simmer to a stop as the final features coalesced. Nonetheless, the body of the beast never stopped moving like the sheetrock wall. The body did not move, but the poor imitation for fur waved as if under the current of a strong fan.

At long last, Naruto released his first breath, while the glowing yellow eyes gained awareness. The sclera retained the glowing yellow flames that continued to burn in a fashion similar to the scarlet red fur. The iris matched the fur with a stark never-ending red, while the pupils turned into slits of pure darkness.

The red fur around the eyes and down the snout boiled black. Unlike the rest of the beast, the blackness did not move. It remained like the void of space as the blood rolled around it. The blackness reached the mouth as it curved around it forming lips.

The beast stretched its mouth into a macabre imitation at a grin that turned cheshire showing every tooth as extraordinarily long canines. At the same time, the tails waved through the air, as the alabaster claws of the beast scratched pointlessly against the pure and smooth pale yellow floor.

"Who- What are you?" Naruto asked in unmitigated fear.

"I," the Beast growled. "I am hatred, incarnate."

"I- I- I don't understand," Naruto claimed as he backed further away from the Beast.

The Beast's grin grew even wider as it lowered its head towards the ground, "I am the weapon, unstoppable."

Naruto frantically shaked his head back and forth, "No. No. I would never ask for something like you. Never."

"You would turn down power, unending?" the Beast questioned.

"Deals are not made with Demons," Naruto spat.

"Your thoughts, insipid," the Beast leered.

"I wash my hands of you. Begone!" Naruto said making the motions with the clear water.

"Your attempts, meaningless," the Beast snarled.

Frustrated, Naruto started his largest ninjutsu combination, "Fire Release: Orb of Flame! Wind Release: Great Breakthrough!"

The small orb of fire sparked with the rush of elemental wind creating a wildfire that surged through the large pale yellow room crashing against the Beast's rolling fur. Naruto could see the fire affect the Beast's mockery of fur. As soon as the fire burned, however, the blood red miasma boiled and congealed into being.

"Your failures, absolute!" the Beast roared.

"Sealing Arts: Eternal Darkness!" Naruto yelled as he unrolled one of his recent seals that a legendary Nara sealer created a hundred years ago. Black spikes similar to the blackness in the Beast's fur dashed across the submerged floor and attempted to pierce the Beast.

"Your existence, insignificant!" the Nine Tails boomed as bloody tails smashed the black spikes in a cacophony resulting from the two distinct chakra types shattering across the watery floor.

"Gods have mercy. It's the Nine-Tails," Naruto whispered in despair.

"Your prayers, unanswered," the Demon Fox snarled as he lowered his head to stare into Naruto's wavering eyes with a Cheshire grin.


	41. Demonic Complications

A PUNK'S LIFE

BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

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AN: Due to real life events, I no longer have the time to continue writing this story. This chapter is basically everything I had written before I became swamped with other work. I would first like to thank everyone who has taken the time out of their days to read this story despite there not being a real plot or whole lot of action. Instead, it was merely a vignette into the life of an orphan named Naruto Uzumaki in my envisioned universe of the Naruto Canon. Thank you and enjoy.

* * *

Naruto awoke in a start to the blackness in startled breaths. Assessing his situation, he determined his location in his own bed in his apartment. Sneaking a peek through the shades, the midday rays beamed through the window. After catching his breath, he felt the cold sweat that covered his body from the soles of his feet to the hair on his head.

Throwing the covers off, he marched through his dirty room to the bathroom. For a few breath, yet significant moments, Naruto stared at himself in the mirror. Rather than a casual perusal like he normally performed every morning and night, he contemplated the image. He stared himself in his eyes and did not waver. He recognized not the blackheads on his nose, the fuzz on his chin, or the whiskers on his cheeks, but his whole face in the aggregate.

And he despaired. His face looked terrible. He appeared unnatural in his own eyes. The sickly pallor of his skin tone and the deep bags under his eyes belayed more than any words that he could use to describe himself. When he noticed that his lips pouted without any conscious effort, but through sheer will of his body expressing his beliefs without permission, Naruto compensated by beginning to splash water on his face.

Nonetheless, water could not wipe away the superficial effects of the real thoughts coursing inside of him. More specifically, the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox that haunted him. Before he could even begin the process of comprehending his prolonged nightmare, his stomach curled. Briefly mistaking the feeling for hunger, Naruto quickly realized the reality of the situation as the pain roared throughout his body like an earthquake.

Rushing to sit on the toilet within a step's reach, his hands pressed into his stomach to offer any sort of assistance to the roiling in his gut, no matter the futility. The pain, however, did not cease nor relent. Without even the most basic of thoughts, Naruto's body curled into itself, despite the awkward position of sitting on a toilet. His body betrayed him, for it would not obey his pleas to stop this insanity.

His gut continued to reject its place in his body, and the rest soon joined the revolt. Unable to even muster a modicum of dignity, his body expelled in a watery mess as his knees pressed into his chest. Naruto tried to assemble a defense to sooth the unrest, but he couldn't access his chakra system that seemed to be in the same state of revolt.

Naruto never felt more betrayed or powerless in his life. The betrayal of another did not affect him as much, after he quickly learned to manage his expectations as a child regarding the placement of trust and optimism in others. This, however, was his own body. If he could not trust even himself, then what could the word trust mean other than to give name to an ultimately false state of mind.

For the first time since he meet Mizuki, Naruto questioned his place in life. An evaluation of all of his recent life choices and future goals raced through his mind as a petty distraction from the roaring pain of his innards. A pain that despite all of his hard work, he ultimately could not stop nor relieve. Naruto felt more than just physical sickness at the thought and the reality.

He heard the door open to his room, but the door to bathroom could not be closed from his position without risking making the floors permanently unclean.

"Hey, bro," Josefu called out. "How you holding up?"

Rage crossed his vision. Naruto's body strained against itself before he flushed the toilet and responded, "Get the fuck out!"

"Wow," Josefu said, "I'll catch ya on the flipside."

Fortunately, the door closed before Naruto released a massive groan and another movement. Naruto took the moment to reassess his current position and only felt a disgusting sense of pity. He hated pity, and he would not tolerate it in himself nor others. After all, like trust, it existed as a useless emotion.

This philosophy, however, did not prevent him from sullenly proclaiming to his empty bathroom, "I'm going to shit myself to death."

* * *

Naruto, for the first time, cursed the lack of locks to the room, and the lack of a door to the bathroom. After a few hours had passed with no sight, someone sent a pledge to check out Naruto's location. Naruto knew that telling the pledge off wouldn't have the desired result of no more interference in his most vulnerable moment, but he could still hope.

"Naruto," Kabuto said from the doorway of the apartment.

"What," Naruto snapped without meaning to act with such bluntness.

"I am under the impression that you are not feeling well," Kabuto said with the same tone.

Concentrating his hardest on maintaining his dignity, Naruto gritted, "Yes"

"For how long," Kabuto asked.

"Since I woke up," Naruto said. "I don't know. All day."

"Can you describe where the pain is coming from," Kabuto asked.

"My gut," Naruto bit out hoping that his big brother could get to the point.

After a brief moment of silence, Kabuto questioned, "Can you describe the pain on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest?"

"Ten," Naruto said as his will faltered.

"Any other symptoms," Kabuto asked.

Naruto's control failed.

A few seconds later, Kabuto stated, "I see," and left the apartment.

With shame, Naruto rested his clammy forehead against his knees. Unable to have even the most basic notion of time, Naruto brought his head back up with a groan as someone entered the room.

"I'm back," Kabuto announced. "May I enter to perform a medical evaluation on your chakra? I will be professional."

Naruto faltered temporarily in making a decision, but he couldn't ignore the desperate need for help, "Yes."

As Kabuto entered the bathroom after another flush by Naruto, he said, "Are you able to access your chakra?"

"No," Naruto ground out with sharp pain lancing his gut once more, "It's in the shitter like everything else."

"Okay," Kabuto commented as his hands glowed a minty green. He placed them on Naruto's hunched upper back with Naruto's head still bent on his knees. Kabuto's eyes widened discernibly within the moment that medical chakra contacted his patient's chakra. His chakra system existed in pure chaos. It would be impossible to get any sort of worthwhile reading; furthermore, foreign chakra infected his system.

Despite this knowledge though, Kabuto would be unable to discern whether the foreign chakra caused or affected Naruto's current state. Nonetheless, the medical deferential for foreign chakra never ended well despite no known motive for the chakra poisoning of Naruto Uzumaki. Although Kabuto intensively studied psychology, he did not have a comprehensive knowledge on all of the political plots of the world. Furthermore, Naruto, despite all of his achievements, did not register as a target for such an expensive poison.

With the only two facts being uncontrollable bowel movements and foreign chakra in the differential, Kabuto knew what to do despite the relative lack of information.

"Naruto, listen to me very carefully," Kabuto started. "We need to get you to the hospital as soon as possible."

"Oh," Naruto said without inflection.

"I'm going to go call a medical team now. Stay here," Kabuto warned as he left the room.

The promised medical team arrived at an undetermined time later with a stretcher. Naruto didn't bother to gain a sense of time.

"Naruto Uzumaki," the head of the medical team announced from the doorway to the room. "May we enter?"

Naruto sighed in resignation and flushed again. He couldn't even bother to lie, since the pain didn't relent in the least. So, he said, "Yes."

"I am Captain Takase Kouji of Leaf's Medical Ninja Corp," the doctor said, "We need to transport you to the hospital, but first we need you to wear this garment for sanitation purposes."

Naruto looked from the corner of his eyes to see the man holding out an adult diaper. Naruto died a little in the inside. Holding his arm out to the side, Naruto replied, "Hai, Kouji-sensei."

By the time properly situation himself, the rest of the medical team entered the bathroom with the stretcher. With even greater shame, Naruto realized that he didn't have the strength to even stand up. With the aid of the others, Naruto rested on the stretcher as they exited the room and rushed to the hospital with ninja speed.

Naruto kept his eyes closed through the whole trip, until they deposited him in a room of purely white color and stringent smell. He didn't even have the backbone to look at the people crowding around him as his head rolled to the side to look outside the window into the courtyard of the hospital. He didn't even respond when needles pierced recently wiped skin. A strange thought that fear required strength of will.

"Although we cannot determine for a fact, we highly suspect that you are suffering from extreme dehydration," Kouji diagnosed. "We have placed you on a saline drip filled with proper nutrients to help alleviate any secondary problems. There is a bell on the table if you need any help from the nurses or myself and my team of doctors. Please do not hesitate if your situation worsens."

Naruto grimaced at the thought of his situation getting any worse but respectfully answered, "Hai, Kouji-sensei."

His doctor took a deep breath before continuing, "Upon further, let's say, investigation, we discovered that you have also lost an unhealthy amount of blood. We will be restoring the level as you may continue to lose more blood"

"Oh," Naruto murmured with a pale face.

* * *

Kouji rubbed his temples in exasperation before a white board filled with worsening symptoms and another filled with various diseases with a stark line crossed through it. The bags under his eyes weighed down his whole face and exasperated his lines and wrinkles that shouldn't be there based on his age.

His fellow three associate doctors continued to melt in their chairs in sleepless exhaustion. Giant medical textbooks involving any and every gastrointestinal issue littered the glass table with dozens of coffee-stained glasses and mugs filing the extra space. Their prototypical two male and one female composition brought its usual drama, but the supposed competition it breed to aid the patient seems to have failed.

He knew he hit a new low when he started blaming his assistants for not solving this mystery case. As a diagnostician, this wasn't by any means his first tough case, or a case that he ultimately did not solve. The nature and characteristics of his patient was not altogether unique, but it brought the extra and unnecessary stress to the situation.

Furthermore, for some thrice-damned reason, the Hokage has some personal relationship with the patient. Kouji had never that happened, and of all the patients it had to be this one. The patient was slowly bleeding to death out of his rectum, and his intestines refused to work. As a result, the patient couldn't digest nutrients through food, but only a specialized injection.

Obviously, the patient through the loss of blood, water and calories affected the picture-perfect example of a healthy and youthful ninja. His golden hair faded. His bronze tone paled. His blue eyes dulled. His muscle bulk slackened. With the intense pain coming from his intestines practically dying, his upbeat personality disappeared into a heavy opiate haze that still left the patient in constant pain.

The blonde male associate switched her seating position with her elbows now wresting on top of her medical textbooks and an arm sticking out in exasperation, "We have no idea what's wrong with him. That's been made obvious. We should change from seeking a cure to looking for a manageable treatment. He can't live the rest of his life on heavy opiates dying in a hospital bed, as if he would let us."

Kouji felt like his female assistant would burst her own intestine in disdain of such a thing, his brunette associate said, "You're just going to give up. Just like that?"

Before the blonde could retort, the surprisingly attractive female associate bypassed her fellow associates and immediately attacked him, "For once, ignore all of your male prides, and actually think about the patient for once."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," the blonde defended. "My whole plan involves around doing what's best for the patient."

"Correction," the brunette countered. "It's what you think is best for the patient. And how is curing the patient not good?"

Kouji didn't even bother entertaining his female's notion because he already knew what she would say.

She detailed, "We don't know how to cure the problem! That's the whole entire problem we are having - we can't cure it! What's even more ridiculous is the idea of 'treating' it. Your treatment plan is just as ridiculous."

"So what's your plan?" The blonde demanded. "Just go ahead and end it all now?"

"No!" The affronted female said. "We are going to get help, you oafs! Just because none of you can solve it doesn't mean someone else can. We need more help."

"Yeah, more cooks in the kitchen is just what we need," the brunette rolled his eyes.

"You all do this every single time we have an issue we can't solve," the female said expressing her frustration. "What about the last patient we had that we didn't do anything for before it was too late? What about the next patient? You all are just going to let him die high on opiates? That's your version of a cure, a treatment?"

"Oh my gods," the brunette stood up. "Are you just going to let that haunt you forever!"

"Enough!" Kouji yelled. "You are all acting like children. Unless someone here all of a sudden has a cure or even a treatment plan, we could use a consult."

After saying that, Kouji wanted to throw up. He abhorred asking for a consult except when it dealt with a specialist. They had already spoken to every gastrointestinal specialist in the Village, and they have ruled out every disease through treatment or lack of symptoms. The fact that she even suggested the idea and no one knocked it away for that fact showed the desperation of all the doctors in the room.

As the female associate doctor reached the door, Kouji turned back to look at the dry erase boards. As she reached for the handle, the door burst open as small heels clicked harshly against the floor. Kouji didn't even bother turning around as his worst nightmare came to life.

"Why did I just have the Hokage in my office asking why one of his precious aspiring ninjas is dying?" the hospital administrator asked with the usual heat in her voice only receiving silence. "Anyone? Anyone know why?"

She continued to make her way through the room with her assistant as his female associate sat back down.

"Kouji," the hospital administrator said in false calmness. "Do something useful and get out of the way. You've had your week."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama," Kouji's said as he complied with his face distorting in hate.

Moving behind his team that all of a sudden grew backbones in their chairs, Kouji stood with his arms crossed. Meanwhile, her assistant, apprentice and niece-in-law, Shizune, flashed a sympathetic look towards the team. How she always managed to do so with sincerity and not being demeaning boggled his mind.

Tsunade's honey-brown eyes flashed across the white boards. She purposely ignored everyone's reactions to her actions. At this point in her life, it became so automatic she barely even recognized their existence. All she saw was a human being dying, and she was now their best hope for having a future.

While she didn't deny the use of a good differential, she needed far more information. She, like all the previous doctors who performed the differential, focused on the fact that this kid's ridiculous chakra network. It was always noted in all of his annual checkups, but even a normal chakra network shouldn't be warring with itself.

By far the weirdest thing of the whole situation was the boy's body's reaction. Ignoring his intestines, his muscles lost bulk but grew tension. His bones grew in density. In reaction, the team decided to up all of his vitamins and nutrients, and the body soaked it like a sponge. This reaction couldn't be more wrong. His intestines didn't work, yet reactions that could only occur with a fully functioning intestinal system occurred at an unnatural rate.

"Unnatural," Tsunade said in summation.

Shizune looked around the room before asking, "I'm sorry Tsunade-sama?"

"Unnatural," Tsunade repeated louder. "Everything is unnatural."

Kouji's face drained of all emotion upon hearing the stupidest medical opinion in his life. Pale blond pigtails swirled, and her eyes locked on to his. Seeing the fire in her eyes, Kouji evaluated the situation again. Then, she had the nerve to smirk.

"Finally, a good case," Tsunade said incurring a large gasp from Shizune. "I want all of his charts in my office now. Time to go see Mystery Boy."

* * *

Naruto groaned in his haze. His body tossed and turned as the multiple wires linked to his veins pushed and pulled. His head felt dim and unaware. His hands lay chained to the rails of the bed after a period of delusion where he attempted to claw his stomach to shreds. He needed to get it out of him before it caused any more damage. The late Hokage, Minato Namizake, might have failed in the end despite the stories and the festivals, but he would not. He would kill the Nine Tailed Demon Fox and save this world from its terror, permanently. He promised.

No one could know his great shame. That his achievements and great successes had been nothing more than a normal boy with the latent help of the greatest being in existence. Knowledge of the Beast may have forever tainted his actions, but he would not let anyone bring him down as well.

Naruto knew very little about the Powers of Human Sacrifice, but it would seem he had joined that most unholy group. His body was nothing more than a vessel for a Demon. A Demon that sought its escape from its prison every last second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of every decade of every century of every millennium if need be.

He could not fail in this task bestowed to him at birth by the late Minato. He neither asked nor wanted this duty, but it was neither offered nor conditional. He would kill the Beast and ensure that no one would ever suffer the fate that he has. There would be no more Human Sacrifice or the alleged Power that came with it. There would only be Man and his sins, but there would be no Demons.

The steady footsteps outside of the hall distracted him from his musings. The Demon affected his senses to even surpass the opiates coursing through his veins. Even Naruto admitted that it definitely did not help his recent flirtations with paranoia. He constantly feared they knew, but once the complete haze of the opiates passed, he realized that the doctors truly had no idea what ailed him.

Although his life and the quality of his future might hang in the balance of the information he refused to share, he refused. Naruto firmly believed that the Demon would not be simply released by his death. If it was so, than the Beast would have ended his existence by flooding his chakra network with his poison.

While the Beast was currently messing with his chakra network, it was not destroying it or his body. In fact, it was making it stronger like a clay urn entering the furnace. He could feel it in his very bones. Mostly, as a result, of how painful the damn process was. Once again, Naruto neither asked nor wanted, but his opinion, as it frequently was, similarly was neither asked nor wanted.

The door opened faster than usual as a relatively tall woman with an extraordinarily large bosom entered without the customary doctor's coat. She immediately hovered over him looking down into his eyes with a searching gaze. Naruto stared right back into her discerning eyes.

"Naruto Uzumaki," she started. "I am Doctor Tsunade, and I run this hospital. I am hereby taking your case to get you out of here and back into school."

After licking his parched lips, he replied in a mechanical tone, "I look forward to that Tsunade-sama. Please take care of me."

"It would seem that your chakra network is in the shitter," she continued looking for a reaction.

Naruto cracked a smile for the first time, since his visit, "Indeed."

"Would you be able to tell us why," Tsunade asked. "Your life hangs in the balance."

Naruto remained silent before slowly saying, "No. I'm afraid not."

"Shame," she replied. "It would seem then that some rather unorthodox testing procedures will be needed to find the source of this craziness. I'll need you to sign some waivers."

Naruto's steel face remained, as he moved his chained hand to scribble harshly on the line. Her eerie smile didn't faze him. Her poking and prodding would be nothing compared to the Beast's ham-fisted experimentation. As it turned out, a corporeal being of Demonic chakra shaped into a large fox with nine tails did not fully understand the intricacies of a physical human body shaped like a male teenager.

"Good," she said. "Let's start by taking you off this. We actually need you to sign it, while not high. I'm sure we can round some more of these waivers up."

Naruto's jaw tightened. He would miss the happy juice. His doctors looked various degrees of uncomfortable at this new doctor's 'treatment' plan.

"In the mean time, let's talk," she pushed. "I'll be performing a diagnosis when your system is clear of all these needless painkillers. Like the monks say, pure body, pure mind."

"What?" Naruto asked as his whole body winced from regaining its senses.

Tsunade waved her hand to the side, "Don't worry about it. Currently, your deadened nerves are coming back after being dulled from all those opiates. We need to be lucid after all."

"You're Tsunade Senju," Naruto remarked.

She gave a brief fake smile before replying, "It would seem your senses are already coming back. Beautiful."

"Senju," Naruto drawled as his teeth clenched harder and harder. "Some good your bloodline was."

"I believe we are ready," Tsunade said focusing on that non-sequitur against her family, especially the past tense of it. "Do try to keep still."

Her hands glowed a minty green as her chakra turned into a medical chakra capable of entering a foreign chakra system without causing the effects currently ongoing in the boy's body. In honesty, the opiates didn't affect her expertise at performing a medical evaluation, but the boy was clearly hiding something. Something that she would find out. As it turned out, the boy was terrible at hiding secrets judging by his needless dig against her clan.

As she knew, his chakra system was in turmoil. As she suspected, the chakra focused on his bones and muscles. An issue became clear that the chakra changed as it got closer to the extremities with the hands receiving far less transformation. It would seem that the needed chakra type for the muscle and bone strengthening reduced rather rapidly in effectiveness and turned into regular chakra.

The chakra definitely emanated from his abdomen, specifically the chakra gate that resided there. The volume at which it appeared caused massive internal damage to the intestines residing below. The toxic nature of the raw chakra hadn't been tempered and diluted by the boy's own chakra. The natural solution to the problem would be to cancel the flow of this raw chakra.

The problem was that chakra shouldn't exit a gate this quickly unless the gate has been broken for some reason. Furthermore, this isn't the first gate that should be broken. In fact, more than a few had to be broken before this one could be. All of this proved to be mute because despite the abnormal behavior the gate was actually quite intact and not even ruptured in the slightest way.

It seemed as if the chakra gate was working perfectly fine despite its current functioning. She couldn't fix something that wasn't broken. She couldn't shut a shut gate. She would need to consult whoever in the blasted Village knew the most about Chakra Gates, which would force her to talk to people. People who she probably wouldn't want to talk to in a social environment, much less a professional one. Nonetheless, the boy presented a mystery, a puzzle, and she would solve this puzzle, get her momentary high and wait for the next patient as she increasingly ratcheted up the quality and quantity of the hospital she loved with all of her heart.

As she finished her medical evaluation technique, she announced, "I know what's wrong with you, but I can't fix it at the moment."

The boy snorted in derision, "It's not meant to be."

"Right," she said. "It's not meant to be like this, specifically your chakra gate in your abdomen shouldn't be like this."

The boy harrumphed before turning over and mumbling, "So that's where it is."

* * *

Tsunade weighed the First Hokage's necklace in the palm of her hands. Repeatedly making a fist with her hand, she watched as the glowing light green rays glowed in the shade of her fingers. She first gave it to her younger brother, Nawaki, who hoped to be the Hokage one day.

During the most recent Great War, he, as a genin, decided to courageously engage fleeing enemy. All he managed to do was heroically enter into an explosive trap. His fellow female genin and a civilian who had a crush on the boy and envisioned herself as the next Lady Senju sacrificed herself for him. After that day, her younger brother recanted on his dreams of being Hokage in his melancholy.

Instead, he settled on being the next head of the Senju clan. Despite the progressiveness of the clan, it would be a patriarchal institution at heart. Therefore, a male, regardless of age, would have a stronger claim to the position. Furthermore, she did not have the de facto requirement of the Wooden Release. Not that there would be a dispute because Tsunade had no intention of being the head of the Clan. Her free spirit refused to be chained down to tradition.

She cursed the days when it became apparent that her direct descendancy from Hashirama Senju and Mito Senju nee Uzumaki did not bring the Wooden Release nature. Now, she couldn't be more thankful for its absence. She would never have been able to surpass the legends of her father, but as the greatest medic that has ever graced this pitiful world, she developed the healing arts beyond all recognition from a mere generation before her.

Thankfully, it didn't all change when the Nine Tailed Demon Fox came to the Village sweeping aside all that stood in its way. The combined forces of the Senju and the Uchiha couldn't stand against the Beast's rampage. When Tsunade first felt the vile chakra overwhelm her senses, she immediately remembered the legend of the necklace empowering Hashirama with the ability to capture the Tailed Beasts of yore.

To that end, she rushed to bequeath it upon her younger brother. Even with its assistance, he couldn't stop. She thanked the gods every day that her lover and husband, Dan Kato, used his Ghost technique to save her brother. Her younger brother was never the most talented individual in general and especially not with the Wooden Release. The deaths caused by the Nine Tails compounded with his depression regarding his female teammate. It didn't help that his spouse of an arranged marriage with the Hyuga had the personality of wall plaster, and that his eldest son, in her patient's class, had the personality of her mother despite the looks of his father.

For his perceived failure with the Nine Tails, Nawaki threw the necklace at Tsunade and cursed it for being responsible for the death of his female teammate and the villagers. His bitter hatred for it at that moment forever haunted Tsunade. Nonetheless, she refused to sell it despite being offered three mountains containing gold mines by the Wind Daimyo for it. The necklace may be cursed, but it would remain in her possession. She would bear the burden that she so foolhardy tried to delegate to others.

She watched as a ray of sunlight penetrated through the leaves of trees that waved in the wind. It caught the crystal gems and refracted into a rainbow effect across her body. How could something so beautiful cause such heartache and misery? She ignored the philosophical questions for the scholars or monks, or both.

For the past two sleepless nights, she delved all the history of her patient as per her custom with enigmas of patients. A disrupting influence from a perfectly functioning chakra gate could be caused by the environment or internally. She dismissed the environment as the chances of a never before seen poison affecting an Academy student of no real clan family as too improbable despite his early successes and sealing prowess. Furthermore, the only two Villages that could have developed such a poison was Sand, Leaf's ally, and Mist, a village undergoing on the bloodiest civil wars in the history of the Village system.

Therefore, she was left with internal reasons. After her extremely thorough routine of examinations and tests, she debunked every last chakra network disease. Next, she had every assistant along with the team of doctors performing every last genetic disorder test that could be causing the situation. All of them turned up negative.

In frustration, she went back to square one asking the team of doctors to describe the patient as if he just entered the emergency room. At that point, Kouji allowed Tsunade to discover the needle in the haystack - the boy's birthday, the day of the Nine Tails attack.

Even as the greatest medic in the known world, she still came from Leaf - the only village without the Power of Human Sacrifice since Tamiko the Mad thought she was immune to fire. As such, she only knew of the human vessels for Demonic chakra constructs in theory. And the majority of the information came from her adventuring teammate, Jiraiya, during his brief fad with them during their time in the Great War after their team had to face the current the Demon Ape and Demon Horse.

Furthermore, her theoretical information would do little good with a child suffering from the secondary effects of being born during a massive infusion of demonic chakra that permeated the Village. While the effects would most likely depend on the location of the boy's birth to the Beast, it was clear that his mother must have been extraordinarily close. Another theory is that the Demonic chakra in the air at the time of the attack must have been beyond previous recognition at the time and dissipated rapidly as no other child seems to have been affected, at least as significantly.

Nonetheless, her knowledge of the Tailed Beasts at least had value unlike her vagrant teammate. Some good he was galavanting across the Elemental Nations, while she needed him here. Then again, she would never tell him that she missed him, or gods' forbid, needed his advice and counsel.

Ultimately, she analogized the situation to the effects of second hand smoking on a new born. The analogy became hollow, however, because true effects on the child could only really be accomplished from use of first hand smoke from a pregnant mother. With the Nine Tails, the baby only received Demonic chakra radiation for at least a few hours, not nine months in a human incubator.

It did make sense in light of the fact that the majority of modern Powers of Human Sacrifice were created during infancy, or in the case of Sand, in the last month of the pregnancy, which turned out a disaster for everyone involved, especially the late wife of the Kazekage and mother of the Power of Human Sacrifice. In Lightning, they postpone the decision in order to gain a better understanding of the potential of the child although that proved to have only a slightly higher success rate than choosing at birth based on notions of the power of blood, specifically noble blood.

Nonetheless, here she stood under the cherry trees in front one of the many creeks by one of the many parks in the Village Hidden in the Leaves grasping a necklace with supposed powers over Tailed Beasts. Here she stood with a patient with a relation, ever so briefly, with the Nine Tails. She chuckled at the dour fact that this boy probably represented the last symbol of the Beast's existence, once the last of the people who remembered the Beast's victims passed away in time, just like her and just like her patient.

She put a lot of work in a theory based on coincidences and conjectures that had only the smallest of threads to reality. She must have really been losing it in her age to come up with this potluck theory, but to her great shame, this was all she had to work with it. Whether it proved right, wrong or somewhere in between, this puzzle of a patient would be the best thing that has happened to her since the birth of her first nephew.

Even that thought made her pensive. She hoped that he would have turned out like a younger version of his father and her brother. A child that was cheerful and ambitious and a dreamer. Instead, she got some Hyuga machine. She shook the thoughts away and gave the necklace one last grip before donning it.

Walking to the hospital and her patient's room, she watched the boy's face steel to prevent from showing the pain that stabbed his abdomen. Pain taught. Usually, it taught the one in pain, but it quite frequently helped well-trained doctors as well. Furthermore, Tsunade knew too many doctors who hid behind opiates to give them time to come up with a theory, or not.

A doctor needed pressure, and drugging the patient to a comatose-like existence relieved far too of the pressure. On top of that, Tsunade has seen too many of her ex-patients that she had under pain treatment plans addicted to opiates. With the client seemingly predisposed to drugs judging by the marijuana and LSD in his bloodstream, Tsunade felt the need to not further his addictive personality.

Witnessing the whiskers on his pallid face, Tsunade, for the first time, recognized it as the potential influence of the Nine Tails. Her eyes dimmed at the remembrance. She hated the Beast for the depression it but her younger brother in and for all the lives lost. Like she previously thought, the boy symbolized the last vestige of the Beast.

Reality slapped her across the face, when she realized that the Beast claimed responsibility for killing the boy's parents and, apparently, his entire family that fateful night. What a cruel fact that it also scarred the boy's face as a permanent reminder.

"Sadness doesn't suit your face, Princess," Naruto said. He prepared himself for the news. Not even the greatest doctor in the world could save him from the Nine Tails. He knew he shouldn't have raised his hopes that he could somehow live with the Beast inside of him. The idea that his parent's killers lived inside of him didn't

Meanwhile, Tsunade had a minor panic attack. She thought Jiraiya had entered the room. Instead, words uttered by her teammate came from the boy's mouth verbatim. Thankfully, she didn't believe in reincarnation, or she would have thought that Jiraiya died more than a decade and a half ago. Upon seeing the defeat in his eyes, Tsunade steeled her determination. If her theory of a Demonic radiation at birth syndrome didn't prove successful, then she would at least notify the Hokage and bring a monk to begin the last rites, even if she would refuse to give up like always.

"Shush now," she replied motherly. Her hands glowed as she performed her evaluation. As she did so, the First Hokage's necklace slipped from her cleavage and dangled outside of her green robe. The crystal gem shining in the light grabbed Naruto's attention like a cat with string.

He watched as it swayed from her neck instead of her breasts like he normally did in his last few days. He would miss all of his new friends and brothers, but he had a last few good years with them. That and the parties and the sex and the drugs and the championships.

Meanwhile, Tsunade focused on the raw chakra emanating from the boy's healthy seal. She forced her medical chakra into the pathways and tried to push it away to dilute it. Unlike her last treatments and that of the other doctors capable of such raw medical power, the raw chakra pushed itself further down his chakra system alleving the pain in his intestines and even reach the furthest extremities, his hands.

As she performed the treatment with the aid of the necklace, she mimicked a moussue. With her eyes shut and focused entirely on the boy's chakra network, she didn't realize her position relative to the boy. Eventually, the position became one which the necklace dangled on top of the boy's head.

Entranced by its beauty and its enchanting song, Naruto raised his head up until his forehead touched it. He couldn't help the moan of relief that shuddered from his entire body from his doctor's treatment and the flesh-to-gem contact. Tsunade first noticed the development as his entire chakra network radiated in an emotion of calmful bliss as compared to raging hatred that defined his previous condition.

Opening her honey brown eyes, she immediately made far too personal eye contact with the boy's sky blue eyes that had tears streaming down the scarred whiskers of his face in rapture. Feeling a sense of obligation, she pulled the necklace over her head and to the temporary displeasure of her patient placed the necklace over the boy's afflicted chakra gate.

Naruto elicited the greatest moan of ecstasy stronger than any previous in his life. Tsunade felt a blush heat across her deceptively aged cheeks at the wantonness of the noise. Stunned for the first time in a very long time, she simply watched as the boy cried in such unadulterated happiness.

After a few moments, Naruto blinked through the tears in his eyes to attempt to make eye contact with Tsunade. He began laughing uproariously in pure elation. Without hesitation, he performed his first sit up since arriving to give Tsunade the biggest hug he could. Fortunately, Tsunade had the record as the strongest woman, and possibly man, in the Elemental Nations to withstand the boy's extreme underestimation of his absurdly paradoxical, yet very much real strength.

Tsunade gave one of her first honest smiles in a long time under the crushing weight of her relieved patient. Even she felt a little water in her eyes, as she felt the boy's tears dampen her hair. Her she was, the greatest medical mind in the Elemental Nations, curing a never before seen case with crystal therapy. Every doctor since the age of bloodletting and leeches, and possibly even before that to shamans and druids, would be rolling in their graves, but what worked, worked.

As the boy finally let go and rested against the bed, Tsunade stretched her hand to wipe the tears away from one of his whiskered cheeks. Smiling out of embarrassment, Naruto wiped the other side away. Looking towards the sunny window, Naruto stared longingly.

"I'm not usually this emotional," Naruto hedged.

Tsunade chuckled, "I'd beg to differ."

Huffing, Naruto crossed his arms, "I'd like to go outside. I'm sick and tired of staying in this bed."

"That could be arranged," Tsunade said. "But I would have to go with you. We can't let it build up too much or it could cause more damage."

Naruto pouted and then frowned, "But I thought that was the weird part - that it simultaneously damaged and healed my guts."

Tsunade simply shook her head, "While you're right, just because it heals itself does not mean that it is good from the pain it causes alone."

"Ah," Naruto said. "Forgot."

Tsunade raised her eyebrow, "How do you forget the part of you being in gut-wrenching pain for five days?"

"Eh, I had bigger worries," Naruto dismissed. "How about that trip outside?"

Tsunade chuckled again, "You remind me of my little brother."

"Oh," Naruto said as he maneuvered himself to get out of the bed. "How so?"

"Well, first, he's as knuckleheaded as you," Tsunade teased as she helped him stand for the first time since his admission.

"Hey now," Naruto defended, "Hey! What about a cover up for my rear?"

"Eh," Tsunade dismissed. "How about that trip outside?"

* * *

"-and then I decided I had enough of her micromanagement with my clothes, so I ran outside naked and wasn't stopped until those sticks in the mud called Hyugas got a hold of me," Naruto finished his latest story.

Tsunade snorted in her fist as Naruto carried out a theatrical recreation of one of his many antics as a child. While Tsunade initially reminisced about Nawaki, Naruto took control of the conversation. He declared it as an apology for being a sore patient despite clearly not being apologetic at all. It further became clear that the boy lived his life with his heart on his sleeve and felt no shame for his sincerity.

As the conversation naturally lulled, the duo took in their surroundings. The sun had started its descent into the horizon. Tsunade found it odd that the boy had yet to complain about his stomach, but she didn't want to push him. While she was a doctor, she understood the importance of enjoying time out of the hospital.

Naruto stared at the bright green crystal around Tsunade's neck. He found it odd that something like a gem would be the solution to his problems with the Nine Tails. Nonetheless, he could not deny the crystal's power. His gut had started to feel sore, and Naruto feared a relapse.

"Can I, umm, wear the necklace?" Naruto asked with rare hesitance

Tsunade looked down at the cursed gem and cupped it in her hand, "I'm afraid its a priceless family heirloom."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock briefly as his eyes casted down, "Oh? Do you have any more of them then?"

Tsunade couldn't help herself from laughing at the notion of her just having a drawer full of the First Hokage's necklaces that she handed out willy-nilly, "I'm afraid not."

"Then how are we going to handle this?" Naruto asked crossing his arms already preparing to not like the answer.

"You seem awfully sure about what 'this' is," Tsunade questioned. "I haven't even diagnosed you, much less given you a treatment plan."

"Well, its obvious what 'this' is," Naruto said. "And we aren't discussing it out here. Just as obvious is the fact that that necklace is the key to, at the very least, managing my, ummm, permanent, ummm, disease."

"Currently the necklace merely amplifies my medical skills allowing for the break in treatment needed to get you at least moving again," Tsunade answered as she slipped back into her natural mode of a doctor. "We still don't have a cure, and I - quite frankly - don't believe we will ever find one because there are none for such a, let's day, situation."

"I can't remain chained to this hospital for the rest of my days," Naruto said. "I plan on doing stuff outside of these walls, like, I don't know, ninja missions that I have spent all my life preparing for."

Tsunade resisted the temptation to rub her temples, "True. But as you have seen with my fellow doctors, even someone who is not the best doctor in the world can perform the treatment without the necklace."

"I guess," Naruto said not feeling too comfortable about the fact.

"Did you know that I have lead a near lifelong campaign to have a medical ninja in every single ninja squad," Tsunade asked rather out of the blue.

Naruto gave a passing glare before answering, "No, but please tell me more as I sit here dying a little faster every day."

Tsunade huffed, "Don't be so melodramatic. What I'm trying to get through your thick skull is the fact that I will be recommending that you have one of the best medical ninjas of your graduating class in your ninja squad."

"Or, instead of having a brand new medical ninja worrying about my ass all the time, we could just have a medical ninja be my squad leader," Naruto said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I suppose," Tsunade started, "But I try to keep every medical ninja that has the capacity to teach leading a team of doctors at the hospital, not running around doing some town or noble's favor of the day. The last thing I need is a medic to die during duty, especially with the way they are targeted. Also, by the way, I don't think there are any medical ninjas seeking to be regular Jonin-senseis at all, so you are just shit out of luck there."

Naruto whined, "But I already know who is going to be on my team being the only wind user of the generation. Where is the surprise of graduation day dreaming about who's on your team? Where is the excitement? Everyone's taking that away from me."

"Ha!" Tsunade barked, "You are ruining the surprise all on your own. First with wind, now with whatever this is."

Naruto frowned, "Is there even any good medical ninja in my grade? I don't really keep up with that kind of stuff."

"Too cool for people working hard to literally save people's lives?" Tsunade questioned with a little heat.

"Eh," Naruto shrugged.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, "As it just so happens, this grade seems to have some top ranked medical ninjas in training all set and ready to practice to their heart's content on this piece of meat and chakra network."

"Hey!" Naruto defended. "I'm a very handsome piece of meat at that!"

"Eh," Tsunade shrugged.

As the two of them cracked up at the banter, Tsunade stood up and offered her arm in a patronizing manner, "Time to go back to bed, ya old geezer."

"Ha!" Naruto barked. "That's rich coming from someone who can be my grandma, Tsunade-baa-chan!"

Feeling a nerve twitch above her eyebrow, Tsunade immediately let go just as Naruto leaned his weight against her forcing him to fall to his knees, "Hey now! That's not how doctors are supposed to take care of their patients"

Tsunade merely looked down raising an eyebrow, "And?"

Naruto huffed as he started to stand again wincing as he reached for his stomach before looking back up at Tsunade with puppy-dog eyes, "Will you touch me in my special place?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes before hauling Naruto back to his hospital bed, "Don't be such a baby."

As she set him in the bed like an overgrown baby with 'ews' and 'ahs', she asked, "I think you'll be ready for student examination, and I guess visitors if ya got them."

"That's good news and all mommy," Naruto said. "But what if your prodigies of the medical arts can't help me with, ya know, it?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, Naru-chan," Tsunade dismissed. With the aid of the First Hokage's necklace, Tsunade began distributing the excessive concentration of chakra that clogged Naruto's pathways across his body from his toes to his head. She planned on making another snarky comment before noticing the constant and steady breathing from the boy. Finishing the last remnants of 'congealed' chakra, she turned the lights off and prepped to go home to her husband.

* * *

Naruto grudgingly awoke from his dreamless, yet deep sleep from the sunlight penetrating the large window shades. Feeling like he could perform his morning ritual without a pan and a tube up his ass for the first time in a week, Naruto with far more joy and excitement about the little things in life than would be socially acceptable went to the bathroom.

Relieving himself, he walked out of the bathroom, in his revealing hospital gown, to Tsunade and Kouji with his team of associate doctors. Tsunade transferred Naruto's shit-eating grin from him to herself as she began slow clapping with Kouji's fellowship following suit nervously. Unwilling to give up the last laugh, Naruto decided to make an elaborate bowing display with an extension of his arm while keeping the other squarely behind his lower back.

Naruto walked his chest high, chin up and ass bared to his bed and entered it with great emphasis on each movement, noting how all of the acts occurred because he willed it and without assistance. Tsunade, however, called him out on his childish notions with an inflection to a baby or a puppy, "Who's a big boy, now. You are. Yes, you are."

Lifting his chin in derision, Naruto noted, in an exaggerated whine, "Mommy, you are embarrassing me in front of all the nice, and real, doctors."

"Why you little -," Tsunade threatened.

Naruto quickly interrupted, "But mommy, you said that I can't tell them about how you beat me."

As Tsunade took a menacing step forward with her heeled shoes resounding from the sterile floor, Kouji loudly coughed into his hands. Halting, Tsunade straightened herself out and waved her hand at the bed, "As you can all see, the patient has reverted back to his original personality."

"We noticed," the brunette associate said without pause.

All of the associates, and Kouji specifically, could not help but notice the stark contrast from the boy wonder who was slowly wasting away on the bed, and the playful brat who beat the greatest medic in the known world, since ever, at her own game. Furthermore, everyone found the playful relationship between an orphan with no family and the Tsunade Senju an extraordinarily odd match. Kouji, unlike his associates, was not taken aback by the relationship, for he had personally met Jiraiya, who had no family name at all, and Orochimaru, who had an un-noteworthy civilian family.

"If we could get back to the medicine," Tsunade said in sarcasm. "I would like to discuss my most unusual findings. Now get around and watch this. I am moving the high concentration of chakra from his lower abdominal gate throughout his body like a massage for the chakra network. Of course, we attempted this to limited success, but with the aid of the First Hokage's necklace the process is greatly augmented.

"Nonetheless, as you can see without the necklace, efforts can be made to have the similar results. The key to the diagnose is the ability to properly catalyze your medical chakra, so that it resonates with the latent chakra that is emitted by the lower abdominal chakra gate. As previously noted, the chakra has different properties, so to speak, which is why he have inconsistently referred to it as 'raw', or 'congealed', or 'latent'.

"If you would now perform the medical examination technique on the boy, as I attune my medical chakra with the aid of the crystal, then you may begin to attune your own medical chakra to the appropriate frequency. I hope you learn quickly because I don't plan on doing this all day."

"It's okay, Tsunade-baa-chan," Naruto said with a smirk. "I'll let you touch my special place as much as needed."

Kouji and his fellows could not help but notice the sudden change in the 'feeling' of Tsunade's chakra, as she, not so quietly, murmured, "Ungrateful brat."

"Aww," Naruto whined. "But I'll always be grateful for your special touch!"

"You make me question my decision to enter the medical field," Tsunade said darkly.

Ignoring the not-so-subtle warning, Naruto ploughed on, "For -"

Naruto could not finish, if he began at all, his reckless statement because Tsunade has temporarily disabled his vocal cords. Kouji was not particularly fazed, but his student's eyes widened to the size of petri dishes. As it turned out, Tsunade broke more than a dozen hospital codes and general business regulations without a second glance.

"Ah, don't worry," Tsunade said brushing aside the situation. "I'm sure he'll find a way to run his mouth enough. That's why we're letting in visitors today for you, brat. So you could run someone else's ears off."

Naruto's initial surprise and anger at her inability to continue the verbal spar quickly replaced with the real prospects of seeing all of his friends. Furthermore, he could totally tell that Tsunade was the type of person who only wanted to have a battle of the wits when work was not the primary concern. Naruto could respect that, even if begrudgingly.

Although Tsunade found Naruto's knowing grin disturbing because of the simple fact that there was nothing to know, she continued her lecture. She did not regret her action. She could already tell that her colleagues would need more time than anticipated to get comfortable with the process.

Medical techniques focused primarily, if not solely, on concentration and chakra control. This one required sheer will, chakra strength, and endurance. While the prototypical medical technique required precision, this just needed blunt medical chakra to move extraordinarily viscous chakra. Chakra about as stubborn as the boy it afflicted.

The First Hokage's necklace acted as a catalyst making the raw chakra malleable enough to react under the normal precision associated with medical techniques. Unfortunately for the afflicted, Tsunade did not have the time to constantly perform this individualized treatment plan. Furthermore, she had no intention to convey an item of such grave importance even if it would improve another's livelihood.

If she acted under such selfless terms, she would have sold the heirloom and donated the proceeds to some charity or organization, like a new hospital and medical school. The last thing Tsunade would be in this life is a bleeding heart. One of the most annoying features of being the greatest medic in the world, similar to any medic, is the ceaseless requests for her services the moment anyone has a terminal loved one.

She tried the pro bono route and the paid healthcare route. Ultimately, it served the same purpose. She had no time to do anything other than act as some machine for the masses. The livelihoods and lives of others should not come at the cost of one's own livelihood and life. Furthermore, anyone could become a medic. It was the sole profession that the Village and the Daimyo publically and privately funded.

While she never considered herself a terribly charismatic person, she had a passion to spread everything that she had learned. Hence, her voluminous and expansive writings, journals and textbooks on the medical profession. She personally designed curriculum for medical schools across the Elemental Nations. She zealously advocated for the largest expansion of clinics, hospitals and schools dedicated to the healing arts.

She expanded the relatively obscure art monopolized by monks, wise mothers and snake oil salesman. As it turned out, ground-up tiger bones and rabbit paws did not treat, much less cure, any disease in the known world. She changed an art into a science rather than a hodgepodge of medicine originating one's father's mother's mother's father. The scientific method applied to medicine because medicine, as Tsunade revolutionized it, was science.

Her success created, like a ripple in a pond, waves throughout all studies, arts and pseudo-sciences. The latest victim would be the rather recent appointment of the Head of the Sealing Arts Division in Leaf, the foremost organization in the preservation, deciphering and advancement of the Sealing Arts brought to Leaf through Tsunade's forefather, Hashirama Senju's, marriage to Mito Uzumaki.

In her fruitless study of the boy under her hands, she, like every patient, dug up the history of the boy, not just the medical history. And what an illustrious history she discovered. While she obviously knew that not everyone had the same fortune and privileges that she had as a Senju, she did not ever envision such an early life could exist in the Village, especially for someone with the surname of Uzumaki. Oddly enough, his parentage could not be verified with a DNA test with the latest technology and advances in medical history. The best she could do was eliminate large swaths of the population due to his bloodtype and other genetic features.

This presented another topic of interest for Tsunade. While the boy publically and rather strongly denied the claim, Tsunade had suspicions of the Monkey's story of Naruto's surname being an honor for his parents sacrifice defending Leaf from the Nine Tailed Demon Fox. First of all, no one heroically died before the Nine Tails. They were slaughtered, even her clansmen. It would be a stretch of the imagination to claim that the death of any single ninja delayed the beast but a fraction of a second. Then again, she supposed that such a fractional amount of time in comparison to the Nine Tails could be seen as monumental.

When she finally put aside the boy's surname and all of its implications, she started to actually see the boy and not his potentially extinct clan. It was not hard to see the boy as an individual based on his childhood alone. While the first, second and possibly the third abandonment by foster or adoptive parents might lay responsibility on the parents, all of the subsequent abandonments clearly revealed that the boy had an issue, if not issues. The issues that the boy had problems with would probably be just as infinite.

Everything changed around the time between fifth and sixth grade. She could make this judgment with complete faith just by looking at his pediatrician's charts. His height, weight, blood tests all showed extraordinary growth. Tsunade found it extremely troubling that a boy who was always below average in all areas of physical development quickly became normal and then surpassed them by just as large margin as that of which he had a deficiency.

Just how badly did the boy suffer from malnutrition to create such ominous results? Even Tsunade felt partially shameful that such a child visited her hospital every year, and yet the hospital did nothing other than the usual recommendations that had no teeth. If such a thing could happen in Leaf that had the greatest medical and hospital program in all of the Elemental Nations, what occurred outside these walls? While she didn't really care what happened outside the walls as a self-avowed isolationist except for her medical revolution, she found it troubling that such an outlier existed within the walls of her hospital. What happened inside her child as her husband described the hospital.

And now this boy's troubles have developed, not physically, but in his chakra system. Assuming the build up of chakra does not reduce, his chakra gate would obviously be classified as a permanent problem. A problem that could prove problematic should the boy ever be in the field for an extended period of time.

"It seems like you are finally get a hold of the problem," Tsunade announced as she stopped her technique. "Continue to work on it as necessary. This actually is a wonderful exercise for expanding your chakra pool which of course helps with endurance and some of the more forceful medical techniques. We will keep him in the hospital until the end of the week. Afterwards, we will most likely require him to visit the hospital every day for a daily monitoring, unless we find an alternative solution.

"I expect a full report with charts on his needs of this new technique on this development and possible treatment plans. Congratulations everyone we have discovered a new disease and a new treatment. All that is left is the cure. Good work, everyone.

"As for you, don't take drugs, m'kay?"

Naruto nodded.

"Good," Tsunade said, and she waved her hands over his throat reactivating his vocal cords. "See ya later, punk"

Despite a large initial voice crack, Naruto said with a needlessly loud voice, "Hai, Tsunade-baa-chan!"

Tsunade did not even bother turning around to face him, but she silently held up her middle finger over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.

Naruto yelled, "Love you too, Tsunade-baa-chan!"

* * *

"The kid's a mess," Tsunade said as she stared through the Hokage's window staring at the most recent stonehead.

Behind her leafing through a long medical report, the wizened Hokage puffed his pipe, "Oh."

"Like mentally," Tsunade continued. "Like in the head. His head isn't screwed on right. Like he doesn't live in the same world as everyone else. Like he doesn't react like a normal, reasonable person should. It's scary really."

"What about his health," the Hokage casually asked with another puff of his pipe.

Tsunade shrugged despite the fact that the Hokage could not see her, "He is getting better, I suppose. His chakra system is wrong. It shouldn't be doing what it is doing, but it does. Fortunately, the severity of the problem is dying down, which makes it both easier on the boy and a trained medic ninja."

'"This," Sarutobi said, "Tailed Beast radiation syndrome is most alarming."

Tsunade needlessly noded, "The first of its kind and probably the only. The circumstances of the Beast's presence and the boy's birth are too narrow for there to be any other individual who has a recorded birth in the Village."

"Hmm," Hiruzen said stroking his small pointed beard once. "Are there any other side-effects than potential implosion of the chakra network?"

"Not that I have seen since he has been in the hospital," Tsunade dismissed. "Unlike manga would have this world believe, radiation does not give super powers - just cancer, illness and eventually an early painful grave."

"I wouldn't be so easy to dismiss the notion," the Hokage cautioned. "I have read more than a anomalous amount of reports of eye-witnesses in the early Games regarding bizarre behavior and characteristics of Naruto-kun. As you noted, his medical examinations are exceedingly thorough."

"While yes, his whiskers and enlarged canines lend themselves to Nine Tails' radiation rather than a bastard parentage, I do not believe it gives him power," Tsunade said. "We had him attempt to perform every chakra exercise available to man to help with him when we couldn't even find a treatment. His chakra couldn't do anything. It didn't recognize the raw chakra as foreign, just recognized the physics of dealing with a heavier liquid in a lighter liquid medium. He had no control over the latent chakra."

"Nonetheless, he will be under medical surveillance in his training sessions, spars and matches," the Hokage ordered. "We must know if there is anything. We can't allow anyone to come into contact with the most diluted of the Nine Tails chakra. You know most of all what happens with an individual not properly acclimated to Demonic chakra makes contact. The last thing we want is for the boy to innocently ruin another's future or, at worst, life because he, like us, doesn't understand his powers, much less if he has any."

"He isn't a Power of Human Sacrifice," Tsunade scoffed. "I'm not suggesting we don't observe, but you need to tone it down, old man. He's not a threat."

"Better safe than sorry," Hiruzen said lightly.

Tsunade needlessly rolled her eyes, "The child, which is what he is by the way, is nothing more than a big ol' black bear. Scary at first glance but no bite. The real shame, to be honest, is that he doesn't act more like a fox. That would be funny."

"Tsunade," Sarutobi patronized.

"Oh please," Tsunade dismissed. "You were thinking it too, ya Monkey."

Hiruzen puffed his pipe and flipped the page, "Whatever you say, Slug-Princess."

Tsunade didn't even bother responding to the reminder, "I was afraid that I would have to call upon Katsuya for aid in this case, by the way. It was that dire."

"I'm glad to see that we were able to solve it on our own," Hiruzen said. "You know how the summons are, especially the heads, even the slugs."

"Yeah," Tsunade said. "We can't all have Kakashi's nin-dog pack."

The two remained quiet for a minute as Hiruzen continued to read the report as Tsunade stared at Minato's stone head.

"You know," Tsunade said to the comfortable silence. "The boy is really something else, and I'm not just talking about the radiation."

"Oh," Hiruzen said with a puff of his pipe.

"He is the most annoying brat I have ever met in my life, and that is saying a lot," Tsunade began, "and that's including your grandson and my little brother."

"Konohamaru is doing better in his studies these days after he got out of that phase," Sarutobi defended.

"Right," Tsunade dismissed. "Speaking of unbelievable transformations in body, mind and soul, the blonde punk is truly something else. Just looking at his charts from fourth to sixth grade would cause anyone to see if the charts had the wrong names. Fortunately, the chart had a note explaining the Akimichi diet. Speaking of which, the Akimichi nutritionist is coming in to re-evaluate the meal plan."

"Healthy body, healthy mind," Hiruzen noted.

"We'll need more nutrients to take into fact the Nine Tails' influence," Tsunade noted as well.

"Which is an S-Rank secret by the way," the Hokage reminded.

"Of course," Tsunade noted. "All hell would break loose if that idea reached the masses."

"They are your people," the Hokage reminded once more.

"Eh," Tsunade dismissed. "Same thing. Well, that's one thing the boy isn't, a part of the masses."

Sarutobi asked, "How so?"

"Once you stopped acting like he was dying, which, I mean, he was, but still," Tsunade began, "I explained the situation and asked for him to detail what happened. He just says everything that passes his mind. It's disgusting really. Such sincerity. Makes me sick."

"Just because the taste is new doesn't mean it's bad," the Hokage said. "Plus, I find sincerity a trait very lacking in society, and I find it very refreshing."

"You should have heard him describe his first time taking acid, which apparently catalyzed this whole mess," Tsunade chuckled. "What a tool. Jiraiya has spiked my drinks with far worse, the damn Toad sage. I mean it's just LSD. So what, everything just moves a little."

"Tsunade," the Hokage chided.

"His trip was so bad he hallucinated the Nine Tails," Tsunade announced. "Which is exceedingly strange for a someone his age, but it makes sense once you acknowledge the fact that he was born on that date and considering his late parents. He wouldn't be the first one to mentally break because of the Nine Tails, though."

Hiruzen stopped reading, "He hallucinated?"

"Yeah," Tsunade said. "I wrote the whole thing in the report. You should probably ask him if you are more interested. He wasn't making a lot of sense. Why would there be a giant gate involved? But everyone is entitled to their own hallucinations, I guess."

"Are you sure you didn't find a seal on his body," the Hokage asked.

"We attempted every single known method for seal detection," Tsunade explained. "Our main diagnosis revolved around him giving himself a tattoo seal, which would screw everything up. Not a thing."

"We still know nothing about what happened that day in regards to Minato-kun's defeat of the Nine Tails," Hiruzen reminisced. "No one was present at the final battle other than Minato and the Beast. We merely found his body at the site. We have absolutely no idea how he defeated the Nine Tails. I suspect the use of the Dead Demon Consuming Seal, but that would require a seal upon Minato-kun's body. And the autopsy never found a seal on Minato-kun's body.

"A Hyuga and his team found the newborn Naruto in an abandoned hunting lodge owned by my own clan near the last fight. The lodge is only used for a hunting trip, but no one would be there at that time in the year. The only reason we know the child's first name is because his name was etched into his cradle.

"We had a Hyuga, Inuzuka and Aburame group track the footsteps that led to and fro the hunting lodge. Women's footprints eventually stopped. Judging by the devastation to the local landscape, the woman had a desperate fight with an unknown combatant that had ice or snow techniques."

"We should keep an eye on him," Tsunade suggested after the silence that followed the story, and she moved to leave the Hokage's office. "Plus, he needs better friends. And he has the worst taste in girls."

"Of course, Princess," Hiruzen said as he began reading the report again.

Nodding to herself in conviction, Tsunade whirled out of the room with a mission.

* * *

Naruto continued to rub circles with his thumb against the smooth skin of the back of her hand, "I've missed you and your touch so much."

"I've miss you too," Naruto's latest girlfriend said as she sat on his hospital bed. "I'm upset that I wasn't able to see you first."

Naruto continued his smile, "I know, me too, trust me, but you know how my friends are."

She frowned a little but continued, "With you in here and not hearing anything other than the doctors, I was scared for you. I realized how much I miss you."

As Naruto leaned up to give a kiss, she backed her face away, and Naruto said, "What's wrong, bae?"

"I don't know," she said. "I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't love me. Do you love me?"

Naruto stopped his ministrations and made distance between their heads, "What the heck? Where did this come from?"

The girl sniffled before explaining, "With you in here, it made me worry about you. I don't want to have to go through this again without knowing the person I am fretting over loves me. And then. And then, all of your friends saw you first, and not me - your girlfriend!"

"Don't you think talking about love is a little early in the relationship now," Naruto said. "It's only been like three months."

"Three months, two weeks and four days," the girl corrected immediately. "I don't want to be one of those girls who looks around after two years and realizes the man who she devoted all of her time to doesn't even love her."

"Umm," Naruto hesitated. "I don't love you, now."

"My parents were right," the girl said more to herself than to Naruto.

"Okay," Naruto edged.

The girl stood up mechanically, "I'm sorry Naruto, but this is over."

"Okay," Naruto said. "But you do realize how bad this will make you look right?"

"I waited until you recovered," she stated. "My parents say that is all society really expects for someone with your position in society, whatever that means."

"I'm taking it that I didn't make a good impression on your parents at dinner," Naruto asked.

"Oh," she said. "They never liked you at all. They always kept talking about how you treated that poor Sakura girl. A man should never treat a girl that way, and I agree."

"Yeah," Naruto defended. "I apologized like a million times."

"You can apologize all you want, but you already revealed your true nature," the girl responded like a recording.

"Umm," Naruto said wondering why he kept talking to his ex-girlfriend. "Bye."

"Bye, Naruto," the girl said before opening the door and leaving.

The moment the door started to close, a familiar pedicured hand gripped the door in a deceptively strong grip and pushed it back out. An exceedingly pleased Tsunade entered into the room and crossed her arms. Naruto had no idea why she always did so underneath her breasts, but he did not feel the need to complain about the habit.

"Good news, doctor?" Naruto asked.

A perplexed look crossed her face before she dismissed it, "No, not really. We will be releasing you tomorrow under constant medical supervision, especially for your exercises dealing with chakra. Also, you will need to come to the hospital daily for a personal examination by your's truly."

Ignoring everything she just said, Naruto asked, "So what's with the smirk?"

"Oh, nothing," Tsunade dismissed but kept eye contact.

Naruto blinked, "Oh, okay."

"No, you idiot!" Tsunade yelled. "I just heard your sorry ass getting dumped."

"Hey!" Naruto retorted. "You can't overhear my private conversations - that's patient-girlfriend confidentiality!"

"Wow," Tsunade said. "I'm truly impressed that someone could be so stupid."

Now, Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and replied, "I don't know where you get off taking that attitude with me, missus."

Tsunade rolled her eyes and approached the bed, "I'll have a nurse bring you the paperwork, later."

"Paperwork for what?" Naruto asked.

After staring Naruto in the eyes for a few moments, Tsunade recognized the complete ignorance and decided to reply the past, "You're going to be released tomorrow and -"

Naruto burst up from his reclining position from his bed and gave Tsunade one of his patented hugs of death, "Oh my gosh, why didn't you start with that you silly old lady."

Tsunade at the end of his sentence immediately forced him back into the bed and off of her, "Get off. I have some more important stuff to say like how we need to revisit your diet."

"Cool beans," Naruto said with a smirk for what he believed to have been an excellent pun.

Tsunade, once more, blinked and stared him in the eyes for a few moments to see if he was being sarcastic or real. Unable to decide or refusing to accept the truth of the matter, Tsunade continued, "I don't like the people you associate with."

"Damn," Naruto said visibly affronted. "That's harsh. And sudden."

"You need to find a woman who is worth your time," Tsunade lectured. "You need to think more long-term and less about instant gratification."

"I have needs," Naruto defended, "and they fulfill my needs."

"They fulfill your temporary needs. I'm saying that you should think more about who you would actually live with. Let's just start with this. Next girl you decide to ask out a date ask yourself, 'Would I be willing to live with here.' If the answer is no, then don't involve yourself," Tsunade offered.

Naruto gave a shrug, "Sure thing, Granny."

"Listen to me, ya brat," Tsunade said getting into Naruto's face.

Unaffected in the least, Naruto stared at her with apathy, "I heard ya."

"What's your problem," Tsunade asked, "and where is this attitude coming from?"

"You sure do seem to care a lot about my personal life, even though ya really don't know much about it," Naruto said defensively.

Tsunade straightened up and looked down her nose at Naruto, "Someone has to look after you, since you clearly can't."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted. "I've been doing just fine, thank you very much."

"You can do better," Tsunade countered.

"Everyone can do better!" Naruto yelled in exasperation.

Tsunade continued, "I didn't care about 'everyone'; I care about you."

That comment gave Naruto pause as he slowly said without confidence in his answer, "I will do better?"

"Good," Tsunade said. "Now about your boyfriends-"

* * *

Tentative End


End file.
